Aiden
Rain sloshes against the library’s red and yellow stained-glass windows, and lightning dances between the clouds. A spark zaps along the side of the psychology book in my hands. I take a long, drawn-out breath, trying to soothe the intensity of the energy coursing through me.
Billy spies me from the corner of his eyes. Are you okay? he mouths, so Summer and Stella sitting across from us don’t hear him.
But I don’t care if they hear us. “Not really,” I say and close the book on the table. Electricity prickles me, like ants under my skin, and I rub my arms. “This storm has me on edge.”
“I get that.” Billy glances out the window. His skin swirls between shades of blue, like it’s fighting not to blend in with his navy-colored shirt. “It’s been nonstop for hours.”
I envy all the people around us, effortlessly studying at all the other tables. The storm doesn’t seem to affect them. Even with the sun not shining, the library is bright, thanks to the massive chandelier hanging in the middle of the room. Hundreds of glass votives hold flame-shaped lights, and intricate golden vines with red glass roses wrap around the arms and columns of the fixture. My eyes wander to the rows of books surrounding us, like a forest to get lost in. A dark wooden spiral staircase tucked in the corner leads to the second floor. The railing is artistically carved with roses and leaves, as if it’s a bush growing skybound with the stairs.
A crash of thunder echoes around the room.
Lime screeches from behind a stack of books on the table and runs to Stella. She consoles him as he cowers against her between two of the rhinestones on her peach-colored shirt, making it look like he has crystal bear ears.
Summer glances up from the book she’s reading about Guardian outfits and focuses on Billy. “So, wait a second.” She pushes back her bushy black hair, marked with a single white stripe running down the middle. “Let me get this straight. Guardians wear underwear outside their outfits to highlight their butt?” Her bright red nose scrunches with her amused snort. “Are you serious?”
Billy’s brilliant white teeth sneak through his smirk. “If you got the ass-ets, why not show them off?”
“Actually,” I interject. “A lot of men’s Guardian outfits are tight fitting, and the ‘underwear’ on the outside adds an extra layer to help…” I snicker. “Well, to um—”
“Cover their bulge,” Billy scoffs. “Women are encouraged to flaunt everything they have, but men need to be discreet.”
“Is this really coming from you?” Stella raises an eyebrow. “You’re all about the ‘chicks’ and ‘what they have’ aren’t you?”
Lime matches Stella’s pout. Awkward tension washes over the group, and my body tenses. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed Stella to join up with Billy and Summer today, no matter how much I want to see their friendship patched up.
“I can appreciate a woman’s body but also respect it, Stella.” Billy matches Stella’s stern stare. “I didn’t mean any harm.”
“I guess it’s good to know you’ll respect a woman’s body but not their time.” Stella tucks a loose black curl from her ponytail behind her ear. “At least you have that going for you.”
Billy narrows his eyes. His skin picks up speed, shifting quickly between hues of blue and red, matching the bright hue of Stella’s red highlights.
Summer’s gray eyes watch Stella and Billy with caution before she lowers her nose into her book.
“Stella, listen,” Billy says, a sadness inching across his face. “I’m sorry about what happened before. I never meant to leave you waiting for our training session, but don’t you think you’re being a little unfair about all of this? I’ve apologized numerous times.”
“Billy, I’m over it.” Stella stands, gathering her books into her bag. “I’m ready to call it a day anyway. We’ve been at this for a few hours.”
“Stella.” Billy stands, his eyes pleading. “Don’t do this. Let’s talk.”
“No.” She stares him dead in the eyes. There’s no forgiveness in them.
Lime grunts and turns his back to Billy.
Stella hoists her bag over her shoulder and leaves without another word or glance in anyone’s direction.
I ready myself to go after her. “Stella, wait!”
Billy slams his fist onto the table. “Dammit!”
Summer drops her book with widened eyes. Her skin darkens, almost turning black, and her hair shoots up like a spooked cat. A faint hint of rotten eggs wafts up my nose, causing me to suppress a gag.
“Billy.” I drop back into my seat. “Listen—”
“You never should’ve brought Stella over here!” he snaps. “You know she hasn’t forgiven me yet, and it just made things worse between us.”
My chest stiffens, not knowing how to respond to Billy’s anger. It’s not often that he gets upset with me like this. Also, he is right. Ember warned me during the Defender test to leave this be. Who am I to play matchmaker?
“I’m gonna go.” Summer stands, gathering her books in a bit of a hurry. Her normal rosy cheeks burn brighter, and her skin fades to its lighter color.
“No, don’t,” I say quickly. “I’ll go, and you two can finish studying.” I meet Billy’s eyes; they’re brewing with frustration. “I am sorry. I just didn’t think things through. We’ve studied together before, and I thought it may help things between you two.”
Billy frowns, but his shoulders soften.
Summer’s smile is understanding. “It’s okay. Like Stella said, we’ve been studying for a while, and I could use a break.” She glances at Billy. “Are we still good to meet at the training field on Saturday?”
“Yeah,” Billy answers with a small nod. “Of course.”
“Great!” Summer’s smile reaches her ears. “I’ll see you guys later, then. Thanks for your help too, Aiden.”
A small smile teases my lips, appreciating her kindness. “Sure.”
Summer leaves. Her black and white bushy hair disappears down an aisle.
A tense silence grows between Billy and me. A few sparks bounce between my arm hairs, causing me to shiver. I swear I can hear the clock tick, clear on the other side of the library, marking every awkward moment.
“Listen, man.” Billy crosses his arms, and his blue shirt stretches over his muscles. “Maybe I shouldn’t have snapped like that, but—”
“I get it,” I say, desperate to make peace. “I shouldn’t have expected you and Stella would magically patch things up over one study session.”
“It’s not just that.” Billy’s skin fades into light shades of pink, mixing with a dull red. “I’m dealing with some stuff… feelings that I’m not used to.”
My eyebrow perks. “Oh?”
Billy rubs his eyes. “You know, I wanted things to work out with Carly. I really care for her, but… I don’t know.” He stares off in the direction that Stella left in. “We don’t really connect. Well, physically we’re completely compatible.” He grins. “There’s no problem there.”
I shrug. “Yeah, but as important as that may be, that’s only one aspect of a relationship.”
“I know.” He sighs, a deepening sadness filling his eyes. “I’ve never experienced what you have, man. With Ember that is.”
My brow creases. “What do you mean? You’ve had relationships.”
Billy snorts. “Relationship is a loose term. Sure, I’ve had girlfriends, but there’s only been one thing we wanted from each other, and I’ve always given it.” He stares at the table, his eyes glazing over. “At the end of the day, when the flame fizzes out, there’s nothing else there. We break up, looking for our next thrill. I’ve been unable to connect with many women over simple things, like Guardian laws.”
“I thought that’s what you wanted. Just a couple of months ago, you were talking about dating around, even while with Carly.”
Billy picks up a pencil and twirls it effortlessly between his fingers. “It’s what I thought I wanted, and it’s even what I thought Carly wanted, but after how she reacted during the Defender test… I’m not so sure, man. She doesn’t think it’s appropriate that I’m ‘spending time with another girl.’ Even if it’s something innocent like studying.”
I narrow my eyes. “She knows you’re a mentor, right? What did she expect?”
“She has a lot of trust issues, and I get it.” Billy sets down his pencil. “She didn’t have the best childhood because of her mom and the constant line of men who came in and out of their lives.” He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “But no matter how much I care and want to help Carly, I don’t think I can. First, she was flirting with you, and now this.” He meets my eyes, frowning. “I can’t be with someone who’s controlling, and also messes around with my emotions. It’s just too much.”
“It is.” A somberness falls over me. “Sometimes things are over our heads, and even if we want to help, we just can’t.”
“Exactly.” Billy sighs and looks up at the ceiling. “I think it’s time to figure out what I want, and it’ll be best if I’m single to do that.”
“I think that’s awesome.” I grip his shoulder in support. “It’ll be a good thing to take some time to focus just on yourself for a change.”
Billy turns his head toward me and smiles. “Thanks, man.”
A flash of reddish hair catches my attention. Ember emerges from a row of books, a little distance from us. “Hey!” She waves excitedly.
“Shh!” A librarian pokes his head around a corner. Crescent moon-shaped glasses sit on the edge of his nose, which looks more like the snout of a bear than a man. Shaggy dark brown hair covers his entire face, and twisted horns rise from his head.
“Sorry.” Ember blushes as she passes him.
The librarian shakes his beastly head with disgust and disappears back into the aisle, heading toward the other side of the library.
Ember approaches, looking relaxed. Seeing her look so at ease makes my heart sigh with relief. Jomo must’ve been on his best behavior. “How did things go?” I ask.
“They went as well as they could.” She walks around the table and kisses me. Her soft red lips are warm and inviting. Electricity scurries up my arms, but this time it isn’t because of the storm.
“Are you going to give us any details about your study time with Jomo?” Billy cracks a mischievous smile. “Or do you and Aiden need to get a room?”
Ember playfully smacks Billy’s arm.
“Ow!” He grabs his bicep, feigning injury. “What did I say?”
“Hey, Ember!” A deeper voice snaps my attention, wiping the smile off my face.
Jomo walks toward Ember, holding a book. His golden dreadlocks are tied loosely back, and his yellow eyes are bright, like a cat hiding in the shadows.
“Oh, hey, Jomo,” Ember says, but there’s a nervous hint in her voice. “What’s up?”
He offers the book to her. “I thought you might like to continue reading this.”
Ember takes it from him, and the title of the book reads Villains of Stalwarth. It’s several inches thick and is bound in rich, brown leather.
“Definitely.” She smiles warmly. “Thanks.”
Her response causes me to pause. My chest twitches with a strange twinge of betrayal. I wasn’t quite expecting Ember to act so happy toward Jomo after just one study session.
“You’re welcome.” Jomo smiles, a genuine reaction I’ve never seen cross his face. “I know you wanted to read more about villains, and studying extra will only help you with your summer classes. As your mentor, I’ll make sure you have everything you need.”
I squint, letting a hint of my brewing fury sneak through. Was that a subtle dig toward me? Or is Jomo trying to inch his way into Ember’s heart? Like he threatened he would.
My heart beats harder, shortening my breath.
Lightning strikes in the distance, illuminating the library in a blue hue. Thunder roars around us, and the windows rattle.
My power surges, and the veins in my hands come to life, glowing blue. The atmosphere pulsates with energy, heightening my senses. Electricity crackles madly around my hands and from my eyes.
Ember’s smile vanishes, and worry crosses her face. “Aiden?”
My breathing becomes more shallow, harder. All my muscles tense, as if my powers are whispering in my ear to let it all go, to release my full potential and show no remorse. I don’t know what kind of game Jomo is playing, but there’s no way I’ll let him win.
Red inches its way into my vision. Any control I have slips away, like the roaring rain down the windows. Jomo morphs into a shadow of a person. No features for me to focus on. Nothing for me to care about.
I think Billy shakes my shoulder and says something, but the only thing that matters is protecting the woman who loves me.
My thoughts are a battering ram, knocking the wind out of me, and I have a moment of clarity. Why am I reacting like this? Even if Jomo tries to do anything, it doesn’t matter. Ember would turn him down in an instant. I’m not protecting her by doing this. All I’m going to do is make the situation hundreds of times worse. Between the storm and my emotions, I’m getting out of control. Just like I did after the Defender test. Or is something more at work?
My stomach flips, making me feel instantly sick.
The serum.
Lightning strikes, and a thunderous boom fills the room. Anxiety and electrical energy rush through me like a race, competing for which one will win, and my heart beats erratically. My head spins, and I struggle to breathe, triggering panic from the lack of oxygen. I jump from my chair, and it slams into the floor.
“Aiden!” Ember grabs my arms. “I’m here. Focus on me. You’re okay. You’re safe.”
I inhale through my nose and exhale loudly through my mouth, trying to get my muscles to relax, but they tense even tighter. The blue in my veins rushes up my arms like poison, and my energy pulsates stronger with each heartbeat. Anxiety tricks me into thinking there’s a threat hidden around every corner: the dean conspiring with Susan, Jomo posing to attack with his ghostly hands, Black Mold lurking, grinning in the shadows waiting to kill me—like he should’ve done all those years ago.
My eyes dart around, and shakes render me useless. Sweat falls down my face, and my skin burns like it’s on fire. I want to scream and pull out my hair, but I’m held prisoner by all the emotions and energy racking through my body.
“Aiden, snap out of it!” Billy grips my shoulder. “You’re stronger than this!”
Ember reaches for my face. Her eyes shimmer with tears. “Aiden, breathe. Just breathe.”
Thunder rumbles like a lion’s growl.
Another hand comes to my other shoulder, one that causes my eyes to widen. I flinch, getting ready to strike back, but Jomo looks at me firmly and says, “Be the YAC champion I saw last year. The one who wouldn’t be defeated. No matter what.”
“We’re here for you, Aiden.” Ember smiles, though it’s a bit broken. “All of us.”
It’s like Ember is my lifeline, reeling me back in with Billy and even Jomo’s help. They’re all trying to save me from the angry ocean that’s threatening to swallow me whole.
I cup Ember’s face and nod, remembering how to ground myself. I focus on the pinkness in her cheeks, the brilliance of her green eyes, the cherry red of her lips, the way her wavy hair lays, and the very faint freckles decorating her face. Closing my eyes, I lean my forehead against hers, inhaling the sweetness of strawberries and a faint hint of a dying fire. I listen to the patter of the rain hit the windows, the shuffle of footsteps, and the quiet chatter around me. I let all my senses take in the room, letting everything bring me back to reality. I’m not quite sure how long it takes, but a sense of control eases into me. My body cools, making it easier to breathe. Electricity crackles underneath my skin, still wanting to be released, but it bends to my will and settles.
Ember lays her hands against my heart, and its rhythm calms, matching the pattern of her breaths.
Billy and Jomo ease their grip.
My body trembles, weakened by the anxiety attack that just ravaged me. I grip Ember’s shoulders to keep me standing. My temples pound with the promise of a headache. I’ve had plenty of anxiety attacks before, but nothing has ever drained me so intensely as this one. Could the serum have something to do with this?
A wave of nausea hits me. “I–I need to sit down.”
Billy props up the chair, eyeing Jomo suspiciously. Ember’s hands shake as she helps me sit.
My heart sinks into my stomach. The eyes of all the students around us focus solely on me. One guy, with black thorns covering his body, points and laughs. The guy next to him sneers, slightly floating a couple inches from his seat. A few others watch me like I’m some kind of breakable object, ready to crack at any moment.
Great. I’ve given everyone something else to talk about.
“Don’t you all have more important things to do?” Jomo snaps.
“Seriously!” Billy adds, his tone frustrated. “There’s nothing to see here!”
“Thank you,” I say, making eye contact with Ember and Billy, then finally Jomo. “I–I appreciate your help.”
“I know the signs of someone having a panic attack.” Jomo crosses his arms, puffing out his chest. “I’m not going to act like I understand why it happened. It’s your business.”
I’m not sure what to say to Jomo. I appreciate the kindness, but at the same time, I’m wary of it. “Thanks.”
Ember takes my hands in hers. “Are you okay?”
It’s hard for me to believe that I let myself get so out of control, but maybe it wasn’t all my fault. If the serum is really in me, it could be intensifying everything I’m feeling, triggering the beast inside me. My mouth tastes sour at the thought. “I’ll be okay. Eventually.”
“How about we get you to our dorm so you can rest, man?” Billy picks up my backpack and focuses on Ember. “Will you help him? I’ll stop by the student center and grab us some dinner.”
“Of course.” Ember tucks some of my hair behind my ear. “I think that’s a great idea. What do you think?”
I let my head answer for me.
Rays of sun streak through the windows, casting an eerie ethereal glow, and dust twirls in the air. The yellow and red of the stained glass reflect on multiple surfaces, like an oil painting by the sunlight.
“It seems like the storm is passing,” Ember says, staring out the windows at the blue sky breaking up the smokey clouds. “You should feel better soon.”
My shoulders relax. The electricity in me becomes completely content in my veins, obediently waiting for me to call upon it instead of being an unruly beast.
I breathe deeply, letting myself soak in the moment of calm, but I’m unsure if the storm has truly passed. An uneasiness about the future overwhelms me. “I hope you’re right.”
* * *
Ember wraps my blue sheet around my chest. I let my body relax into the soft mattress, enjoying its comfort. Sleep begs for me to close my eyes, but my mind is still processing everything she told me about Jomo.
“I’m so sorry Jomo triggered all of this for you.” Ember kneels next to my bed. “But you need to know he’s not interested in me like that. He was just antagonizing you by saying all that before.”
“I see that now.” A deep sense of remorse settles over me. “I had no clue about what he’s gone through with his parents and grandmother.”
“It still doesn’t make the way he’s treated you right,” Ember adds firmly. “But maybe you both can try to show a little more compassion toward the other?”
“Yeah.” Sleep tugs on my eyes, but I fight against it. “I should’ve taken him more seriously during our talk with Valentino when he brought up privilege. I just thought he was being unreasonable. I didn’t let myself really listen to him. I heard only what I wanted to hear.”
Ember kisses my cheek, and I sigh, soaking in the gentleness of her touch.
She weaves her fingers through mine. “I think we’ve all been guilty of only hearing what we want. Hopefully this is a turning point for all of us.”
A turning point indeed. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
She takes a deep breath. “What’s that?”
My voice breaks when I say, “I’m pretty sure the serum is in me.”
Ember’s lips quiver. “I know.”
We lean our foreheads against each other, gripping our hands tightly. The small space between us fills with our anxieties and our worries about the future.
“I’ll figure out a way to fight this thing,” I say, my voice trembling. “I promise you that.”
She forces a smile, but tears drip down her cheeks. “We’ll figure out a way.”