By an unspoken agreement they avoided the topic at supper, and therefore had a very quiet meal. Elspeth’s anger was the sort that flared up and then went away soon after she had expressed it. It was becoming clear to her that her husband was different. She supposed he must be angry at her outspokenness, but because he was so reserved, it was hard to tell.
Had she asked him, Val could have told her, and truthfully, that he was not angry at her. At his mother for lying to him and then leaving him, at his father who was offering to recognize him years too late, and at Charlie for dying, yes. But there was no way he could have said this to Elspeth. He could barely articulate it to himself. And so when they finished their supper, he excused himself and told her that he was going out, would likely be back late, and he hoped she would not feel obliged to wait up for him.
Elspeth stayed in the sitting room for a little while after he’d left, hoping that the new novel would succeed in absorbing her into a world where all would come right in the end. But she couldn’t concentrate for long and finally gave up and went to bed.
By the time Val returned, she was fast asleep. She was lying on her side, head pillowed in her hand, and Val slipped in next to her and put his arm around her waist. He lay there for a while, feeling the soft rise and fall of her breath, wondering if it was her habit to sleep on her side. He smiled in the dark as his own breathing relaxed in the same rhythm as hers. What a paradox it was that he didn’t know Elspeth well enough to know how she preferred to sleep and at the same time knew her more intimately than anyone else on earth.
* * * *
They were still spooned together when Elspeth awoke and she lay there for a moment enjoying the closeness. Val’s arm was around her waist and she slipped her hand in his. His hand was strong and spare and even though he was asleep, she felt protected.
After a few minutes, she shifted closer. “Are you awake, Elspeth?” he whispered, his warm breath stirring her hair. She nodded and then felt his hand move to her breast.
“So am I,” he said, whispering into her ear and pulling her even closer. They were both in that early morning trance state between sleeping and waking and Elspeth kept her eyes closed as Val’s fingers gently caressed her breast and his breath against her neck made her very bones soften. Soon his breath became little kisses and then his hand reached lower to lift her night rail so he could trail his fingers down her bare flesh. His touch was so leisurely that she lay there motionless, suspended between delight and fulfillment. She could have stayed there forever, but then he shifted and when she felt his hardness against her, she began to wake up, almost against her will. She gently pushed away his hand and, before he could even wonder whether she was rejecting him, turned to face him and caress him in the same easy way, pressing him against her belly as she enclosed him with her hand and moved slowly against him.
It could have gone on forever, this sleepy pleasuring, but then Elspeth moved up against his bare chest, and Val knew she was ready for him. He entered her so softly that she only felt it as a continuation of what they had been doing and when he turned her on her back, he put both his hands behind her head, almost cradling her as he moved faster.
Elspeth felt she was being rocked by a larger rhythm, like the waves of the sea. It seemed as though the waves were in her body and she in the waves. They were both of them in an underwater world and when Val poured himself into her as she came down upon him, the ebb and flow did not end but moved rhythmically through her very veins.
There was nothing separate between them because they were all liquid. They had flowed into one another and lay there until gradually their bodies returned to them and they felt bones and muscles shape around them.
When Val rolled off her, he pulled Elspeth against him so that they were spooned together again.
“So you are not sorry to be married to me, Elspeth?” he whispered.
“Not at all.”
“I’m glad, for I’m not at all sorry to be married to you, my dear,” he said, dropping a kiss on top of her head.
Elspeth fell asleep again, but Val lay there, watching the room become brighter as the sun rose, wondering at how everything in his hard life had come together and brought him here, holding this woman in his arms.
He missed his mother and Charlie, and always would. But it struck him that it was only because of their deaths that he was here with Elspeth. It was a disquieting thought, that their deaths had led him to her and to a life he had never dreamed of.
He sighed and eased himself out of bed so as not to disturb her. As he splashed his face at the washstand and dressed, he realized that sometime in the night, a decision had been made. He would accept his father’s recognition. He wasn’t sure how he had come to this, but in some strange way it felt like he was doing it for his mother and for Charlie as well as for Elspeth.
He had finished his breakfast and was reading the paper when Elspeth finally came down to join him.
“You should have stayed in bed, Elspeth. I could have brought you your tea.”
“ ‘Tis way past the time a braw Scotswoman should be up and awake,” she said with a broad burr and a self-conscious smile.
Val waited until she had finished her eggs and muffin and poured them both a second cup of tea. Then he cleared his throat. “I have decided that I should accept my father’s decision with better grace,” he told her, a serious look in his eye.
She could only guess how difficult it was for him to take something now from a father he saw as having abandoned him. “I hope you are doing this for yourself, Val,” she said quietly.
“I suppose I am, as well as for my mother and you and Charlie.”
“I’m very happy to be the wife of a soldier, Val. What do you think this will mean for you?”
“I don’t intend to leave the army anytime soon,” he reassured her. “But this will mean that when we come back to England, it will be easier for us…and our children,” he added awkwardly.
Elspeth reached over and put her hand on his. “I think you have made a good decision, my dear.”
“What are you planning to do today, madame wife?” he asked teasingly.
“I thought I might go to the Pantheon Bazaar and look for a pair of gloves for tonight. And you?”
“I suppose it is considered unfashionable for a husband to accompany his wife shopping?” he asked with a grin.
Elspeth blushed. “It probably is, but I would very much enjoy it, Val.”
* * * *
When they returned from their little shopping excursion with Elspeth’s gloves and a bar of lavender-scented soap and a light green ribbon that matched her dress, they were met in the hotel lobby by the proprietor, who informed them with barely concealed satisfaction that His Lordship, the Earl of Faringdon, had been waiting for them for the last half hour.
Val’s face immediately clouded, but Elspeth merely nodded and, thanking the man, requested him to show the earl up. And could he please also send up a pitcher of lemonade and some biscuits?
When she had put away her purchases, Elspeth opened the curtains in their sitting room and sat down, waiting for Val to join her. When he came in, she saw that her relaxed companion of the morning was gone and the expression on his face was one of watchful reserve.
When the earl arrived, the two men greeted one another with such similar expressions and such stiffness that Elspeth had to stifle a laugh at how alike were this father and son.
“I am sorry to disturb you, Valentine. And you, Elspeth.”
Val looked questioningly over at his wife, and Elspeth blushed. “I made a short visit to your father on my way to Maddie’s yesterday,” she admitted. “I wanted to offer my own condolences.”
“Then you know we are married?” Val asked his father.
“Yes, and I was very happy at your choice of brides. I have met Elspeth before at a family dinner.”
Val was both relieved and annoyed. While he was happy to see that his father clearly liked Elspeth and approved his decision, he also felt it was none of his father’s business whom he married.
They all sat stiffly waiting for the footman, who had come in behind the earl, to finish serving the lemonade.
“Would you like something stronger, sir?” Val asked politely.
“No, thank you, Valentine.” The earl dismissed the footman with a wave of his hand, and the air of command set Val on edge.
“I see no reason to mince words here, since we are all family,” said the earl. “What have you decided to do about my recognition, Valentine?”
“Do I have a choice, then?” Val asked ironically.
“Not about what I have decided, of course. But you may choose to ignore it.”
Elspeth gave Val a pleading glance and he smiled. “I have decided there is not much I can do besides accept with good grace.”
The earl visibly relaxed, but all he said was, “I am glad that it is settled, then. There will be gossip, of course, but after a while something else will distract Society,” he added with an ironic smile. “Do you intend to take part in the Season?”
“I am here to attend Lady Madeline Lambert’s come-out, my lord. I mean, Charles,” added Elspeth. “And we have already received a number of invitations.”
The earl looked surprised and Val said reluctantly, “I am also here on a mission for Captain Grant that necessitates our mixing with the ton.”
“Then I shall be sure to attend some of these with you,” his father announced.
“But you are in mourning, Charles,” said Elspeth with concern. “Surely you do not wish to be facing people yet.”
“No,” he confessed, giving Elspeth a grateful smile. “And it will cause some gossip. But not as much as if I recognize you as my son but do not appear with you, Valentine,” he said.
“I appreciate your support, my lord, although I am not sure it is necessary,” he answered politely.
“Trust me, it is,” the earl told him with a wry smile. “Did you receive an invitation to the Duke of Farron’s tonight?”
“We did, Charles,” said Elspeth. “We will be dining at the Wimbornes’ first.”
“Then I will meet you at the musicale and make sure that our relationship is made clear, before too much gossip starts.” The earl rose. “Until tonight, then. I look forward to hearing more about your parents, my dear. I was always very fond of your mother. Ian Gordon was a lucky man.”
* * * *
After his father left, Val looked over at Elspeth. “So you visited my father yesterday?”
“I knew him through my parents, Val, and I wasn’t at all sure I would have the opportunity to offer my condolences at any other time,” she said apologetically.
“You might have told me.”
“I would have eventually, Val. I wish no long-kept secrets between us.” She nibbled on a biscuit and then said, “Your father is being very thoughtful, Valentine.”
“I suppose so.”
“He is making no small sacrifice to make the transition easier for you. It cannot be what he wants, to go out so soon after Charlie’s death.”
Val sighed. “You are right, Elspeth. I suppose if I am going to take my place in Society as his son, I should be grateful for his support. But I hope he does not expect me to express any filial affection.”
“Believe me, Valentine, I do not think he does,” Elspeth replied tartly.