Chapter Twenty-Four

The next day, after only three hours sleep, Jacob met the senior associate and several other lawyers from his firm at the courthouse. He was prepared. His new suit fit perfectly. His shirt and tie coordinated. His shoes shone. Would Aviva have liked it? He shook his head to clear the thought. He knew the brief backward and forward, had rehearsed answers to questions, could provide information on any topic related to the brief, could cite multiple precedents. He was ready. He had no time for stray thoughts of her.

The senior associate looked him up and down. “Nice suit. Great tie. Wait here.” He pointed to a bench outside the judge’s chambers.

“I thought you said I’d go with you.”

Mark pulled him aside. “I know. I’m sorry. But there are already four of us. If we bring anyone else inside, it will look like we’re grandstanding. Wait here. I’ll fill you in when we’re done. Good job on the brief, by the way.”

He loosened his tie and sat to wait. And fumed. He’d done all the work. Put in all the hours. Rehearsed. For what? A chance to sit on a bench outside chambers? What kind of a learning experience was this, unless he was ever called upon and asked the number of floor tiles in the hallway? How many more times would he have to kill himself without the benefit of reaping the rewards? Probably too many to count.

“Jacob?”

Stuart Rose from The Croft Firm walked toward him.

He stood. “Hi, Stuart, how are you?”

“I’m well. Are you here seeing Judge Abrams?”

“The senior associate is. And some others from my firm.”

Stuart nodded knowingly. “You write the brief?”

Jacob nodded. His face burned.

“Good luck. I’ll see you around.”

Jacob clenched his jaw.

He was done.

****

Two and a half weeks later, Jacob took a deep breath and dialed Aviva’s work number. She answered on the third ring.

“Aviva Shulman.”

“Avs? It’s Jacob.”

The silence on the other end stretched for a long moment. He wondered if he should have given his last name. She wouldn’t have forgotten him already, would she? Jacob was a pretty common name, but she’d recognize his voice, right?

“Hi.”

He melted into the chair. It was only one word, but it was a start. “Hi. I wondered if you’d meet me for lunch.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t.” Another silence. Jacob gripped the phone.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Okay, not the answer he hoped for, but she hadn’t hung up. “Maybe not, but I’d like to see you. I wanted to discuss something with you. Please?”

“We’re already talking. Can’t you just tell me now?”

“No, it has to be in person.”

She sighed. Within that breath of air, Jacob heard pain and frustration and something he couldn’t identify. He willed her to agree.

“All right.”

“Thank you. I promise you won’t regret it. Four thirty-one Greene Street, Jersey City. I’ll meet you out front. Twelve okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll see you then. And Aviva? Thank you.”

The clock on his computer read ten o’clock. Two hours to get ready.

****

She was an idiot. A glutton for punishment. Meshugener. It had been eight weeks since she broke up with Jacob. She finally slept again, was finally able to go a few hours without thought of him. Now she was meeting him? Why did she do this to herself?

Because he asked.

Aviva shook her head and looked out the cab window. Just because he asked to meet her didn’t mean she had to say yes. She wasn’t his girlfriend. She was no longer at his beck and call. In fact, she had work to do.

But I’m curious.

Jacob hadn’t called in ages. When they dated, they’d talk at odd hours when he was trying to stay awake, or when a free moment late at night popped up. She missed that, and the emotional lift his voice provided. Now, she was potentially making the biggest mistake of her life.

Traffic was at a standstill down the street from the address she’d given the taxi driver. Jacob stood outside a building entrance. Her heartbeat increased. It was hard to swallow. He looked better than she remembered. Sun glinted off the crown of his head, casting mahogany highlights in his hair. Leaning against the wall, one knee bent, his hands were thrust in his pockets. Tears made vision blurry. She leaned forward to tell the cabby not to stop, but the cab pulled over before the words came out.

Jacob approached. Hands shaking, she handed the driver a variety of bills as the door opened.

Jacob filled the gap. “Hi.” He held out his hand.

His body occupied all the space in the cab, sucking all the oxygen out as well. She tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t.

Lifting her head, she took his outstretched hand and exited the cab. “Hi.”

His gaze devoured her. She willed herself to stop trembling. Movement from the corner of her eye distracted her. She looked around. “Where are we?”

He smiled at her. “Not yet. Come with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

She balked and resentment returned. “No, you don’t get to surprise me. I’m not your girlfriend anymore. I’ve done everything you asked. Now you have to tell me or I’m getting back in the cab and leaving.”

He looked at her, surprise on his face. He nodded. “You’re right. I wanted to give you a tour of my office.”

“Your office? But I thought you worked—”

He held up his hand. She stopped mid-sentence.

“I know. Come see?”

Opening the door, he ushered her into the brownstone. She admired the architecture while at the same time feeling confused. What was this place? Her gaze stopped on a sign: The Croft Firm.

“Wait, what? I thought you worked for Smith Kane?”

“I quit. I started here three days ago.”

She shook her head. Before she could speak, someone walked over.

“Aviva, this is Ann. Ann, this is Aviva Shulman.”

Pasting a bland smile on her face, she shook the woman’s hand. Jacob crossed the foyer. She rushed to catch up with him. He pointed out the conference room, the kitchen, and the library as they passed. Walking upstairs, he led her down a hallway and finally into an office. There were two desks, but neither was occupied. He shut the door.

“This is my office. My officemate, Charlotte, is out.” He perched on the desk. She burst into tears. “Wait, what’s wrong?” He leaned toward her but she shook her head. She stood by the window, as far from him as possible.

She’d leave, except she didn’t know how to get out of the building without being seen. “Aviva, please tell me what’s wrong. I thought you’d be happy.”

“Happy? Why would I be happy?”

“Because I don’t work for Smith Kane anymore, which means I don’t work the crazy hours anymore. They’re still long, but nothing like before. I thought if my hours were better, maybe we could get back together.”

White-hot anger flashed before her, drying her tears faster than anything else. She spun around. “You thought we broke up because of your hours? You think fixing your hours will suddenly make things okay?”

He started to walk toward her but stopped. He held up his hands in surrender. “Yes, no, wait, let me explain. I’m sorry, I planned everything out and then you started crying. I messed it all up. Can I start over, please?”

She wiped her cheeks and nodded.

“Okay. Originally, when you broke up with me, I was angry. I thought you doubted my desire to put you first, and you gave up on me. That anger burned in the back of my mind as I went to work for Smith Kane. But the work and the hours and the complete exhaustion made my anger disappear. The only thing I felt was hurt. I was miserable, but I didn’t know why. I didn’t want to think about it or admit I’d made a mistake. I worked and tried to forget about you. Unsuccessfully, by the way.”

He smiled but she couldn’t return it. His faltered.

“Anyway, then my mother interfered.”

“I had nothing to do with that.”

“I know. For once, I’m glad she did. Because she was able to get me to understand your side.”

“My side?”

His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “The lifestyle I choose by working for Smith Kane is not what you want to be a part of. No matter how hard I try to make sure you are not left out, like your dad did to you and your mom, it will never be enough because it’s more than just me working a lot. Am I right?”

Her throat closed. She could only nod.

“But I still didn’t listen. I went back to work. I created this fantastic brief for a client. The senior associate told me to be prepared to go to court. I assumed I’d play a key role. I was psyched. This was my dream, and I got to live it. Except, I didn’t. Because I went to court, the building, but I didn’t get to do anything except wait on a bench out in the hallway while everyone else defended my brief.”

Her mouth dropped open. He shook his head when she started to speak.

“While I waited outside for them to do their thing, I ran into Stuart Rose, the lead partner here. He asked what I was doing. I told him. He didn’t say anything, but I knew, I just knew, if I’d taken the job he’d offered, I wouldn’t be seated outside in the hallway. I’d be defending my brief in the courtroom.”

“So, what did you do?”

“I quit. I called Stuart to see if the job was still available. Here I am.” He pulled papers off his desk and walked toward her. “Listen, I had a dream. It didn’t work out. It turned into a nightmare. I lost you to boot. I’ve changed my dream, not because of you, but because of me. I’m happy. I’d be happier with you as a part of it, though.” He handed her the papers.

“What is this?”

“This is a printout of what this firm sends to the families of the people whom they hire. It’s a kind of contract they make with the families. Don’t tell them I printed it, because we’re supposed to be green, but I wanted to give this to you. Read it.”

She skimmed the papers. Her eyes widened. “Are they serious?”

“Yes.”

“They really believe family comes first?”

“They do.”

She read the information more carefully—how they didn’t believe in working all night and all weekend, how personal days and vacations were mandatory, how families were encouraged to stop by to visit and to attend outings planned by the firm. When she was finished, she looked at him.

“It’s not perfect,” he said. “I don’t think anywhere is. But it’s a whole lot better than where I was. I’d like you to be a part of this. Part of me. Part of us. Because I’m choosing you, Aviva, if you’ll let me.”

“What about paying back your law school loans and taking care of your mom?”

He shrugged. “It’ll get done, just a little slower than I originally planned.”

“I don’t want you to resent me if this choice doesn’t make you happy. It has to be your decision, not mine.”

“It is. And I can’t resent you, Aviva. You let me choose my own course.”

“But the lifestyle…”

He took a step forward and grasped her upper arms. “No lifestyle is important to me if it doesn’t include you.”

She dropped the papers on the floor, stepped forward and melted into him. He’d made his choice. He’d chosen a new dream. This dream included her. For the first time in her life, someone was choosing her.