24. EQUALIZING AND EXCHANGING ONESELF WITH OTHERS

NEXT FOLLOWS THE instruction on the cultivation of bodhicitta according to the method of equalizing and exchanging oneself with others. This meditation has five sections: (1) equalizing oneself with others; (2) reflecting on the disadvantages of the self-cherishing attitude from many perspectives; (3) reflecting on the advantages of the thought cherishing the welfare of others from many perspectives; (4) the actual exchange of oneself and others; and (5) taking and giving.

1. EQUALIZING ONESELF WITH OTHERS

This phrase refers to the practice of reflecting upon the equality of oneself and others in having the natural and spontaneous wish to enjoy happiness and avoid suffering. For the generation of this type of equanimity, the instruction by the late Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche on the nine-round meditation is very powerful and effective.

Meditation on Equanimity

The nine-round meditation is composed of training the mind in equanimity with a mental outlook based on the dual nature of things and events: the conventional and the ultimate. Based on different perspectives, the first in turn is divided into two sections, one from the viewpoint of others and the second from the viewpoint of oneself.

The rounds of visualization on cultivating equanimity from the viewpoint of others are divided into three:

  1. Develop the thought that all sentient beings are equal insofar as the natural wish to avoid suffering is concerned and that therefore there is no point in being partial or discriminatory.

  2. Reflect that all sentient beings equally desire happiness and therefore there is no ground for discriminating between them when working for their benefit. The situation is analogous to one where you encounter ten equally wretched beggars who are desperately asking you to relieve their hunger. In such circumstances it is senseless to have any feeling of preference.

  3. Develop an equanimity based on the reflection that all sentient beings are equal in lacking genuine happiness although they have the innate desire to possess it. Likewise all sentient beings are the same in having suffering and the wish to avoid it. If there are ten patients equally suffering a serious illness, there is no justification for a doctor to discriminate when treating them. Similarly, there is no moral justification for you to be biased when helping others to relieve their sufferings.

With the above three types of practice you train your mind in the attitude expressed as follows: “I shall never discriminate between beings and will always work equally to help them overcome suffering and gain happiness.”

The next three rounds of meditation enforce the thought that there is no justification for discrimination between sentient beings from the point of view of oneself or from the viewpoint of others. This training is divided into three sections:

  1. You might have the thought that although reflection upon the equality of others is fairly persuasive regarding the futility of your being discriminatory toward other beings, surely when viewed from your own side the situation will look quite different. After all, some people are friends and help you, whereas many others harm you. To counter this thought which attempts to give false grounds for being partial toward others, reflect that all sentient beings are equally kind to you: They have all been at one time or other your closest friends and relatives. Hence there is no rational basis at all for being biased toward or against any.

  2. Perhaps you have the idea that although people have been your friends in the past, they have equally been your enemies and have caused harm as well. Such notions should be countered by reflecting that sentient beings’ kindness to you is not confined to when they are friends and relatives alone; their kindness when they are your enemies is boundless. The enemy provides you with the precious opportunity to train yourself in the noble ideals of patience and tolerance, traits vital for the perfection of your generation of universal compassion and bodhicitta. For a bodhisattva who emphasizes the practice of bodhicitta, the training in patience is indispensable. Contemplating upon such lines of reasoning will persuade you that there are no grounds for neglecting the welfare of even a single sentient being.

  3. Reflect that, as Shantideva wrote in Bodhisattva­caryavatara, there is no sense in someone who is himself subject to suffering and impermanence being selfish and discriminatory toward others who are also tormented by the same fate. For example, it would be quite senseless and stupid for ten convicted criminals who are sentenced for execution within a short time by the law to argue between themselves, for their days are numbered.

The next three rounds of meditation deal with the cultivation of equanimity based on an insight into the ultimate nature of things and events. (This “ultimate” should not be taken to refer to the ultimate truth in terms of emptiness—rather, it means that the outlook adopted in these visualizations is deeper and hence relatively ultimate in comparison to the earlier meditations.)

  1. a. Consider whether or not there are any “true” enemies in the real sense of the word. If there are, then the fully enlightened buddhas should perceive them as such, which is definitely not the case. For a buddha, all sentient beings are equally dear. Also, when you examine deeply, you will find that it is in fact the delusions within the enemies and not the enemies themselves that actually cause harm. Aryadeva said in his Chatu-shataka Shastra:

    Buddhas see the delusion as the enemy

    And not the childish who possess it.

    Therefore, there is no justification at all for you to hold grudges against those who cause harm, and neglect the welfare of such beings.

  2. Secondly, ask yourself whether these so-called enemies are permanent and will always remain as enemies or whether they are changeable. Concluding that they are not permanent will enable you to overcome your disinterest in their welfare.

  3. The last meditation is a reflection upon the relative nature of “enemy” and “friend,” and touches upon the ultimate nature of phenomena. Concepts of enemy, friend, and so forth are relative and exist only at the conventional level. They are mutually dependent, as are the concepts of long and short. A person may be an enemy in relation to one person while at the same time being a dear friend to another. It is your misapprehension of friends, relatives and enemies as inherently existent that gives rise to your fluctuating emotions toward them. Therefore, by realizing that there is no such inherently existent enemy and friend, you will be able to overcome your biased feelings toward all beings.

These techniques are all very effective for transforming the mind. In employing such methods of visualization you should cultivate equanimity. In short, meditate on this theme as summed up in a verse in the Lama Choepa guru yoga:

As no one desires even the slightest suffering

Nor ever has enough of happiness,

There is no difference between myself and others;

Therefore, inspire me to rejoice when others are happy.

The instruction for training one’s mind in the method of equalizing and exchanging oneself with others is best found in Bodhisattva­caryavatara. This text—particularly the sixth chapter, the chapter on patience—is in fact like a king among all the texts dealing with the thought transformation practices.

When you are able to perceive enemies as kind to you, you will have overcome a great stumbling block, because the enemy is the greatest stumbling block for the cultivation of the thought cherishing the welfare of others. From this viewpoint, the very factor that normally serves as an obstacle and stumbling block for others in their spiritual progress is transformed into a favorable condition and actually becomes an impetus for practice. This mindset is indeed effective and powerful. The instruction for the cultivation of this mind of equality, explained in the eighth chapter of Bodhisattva­caryavatara, the chapter on concentration, is to be practiced in particular.

2. REFLECTION ON THE DISADVANTAGES OF THE SELF-CHERISHING ATTITUDE

The next step is the contemplation—from many different perspectives—upon the disadvantages and faults of the self-cherishing attitude. As Geshe Chekawa said in his Lojong dhon dun ma (Seven Points on Thought Transformation):1 “Banish the one object of all blame.” It is the self-cherishing attitude that is the source of all miseries and therefore is the only object to be blamed for all misfortune. Normally, because of our self-righteousness, it is quite natural for us to blame others when something happens that we do not like, such as problems, suffering, and so forth. We immediately blame it upon others, but if we think in real terms we will find that all the problems and undesirable experiences come about because of the kind of body that we have assumed, the body that is contaminated and a product of actions and delusions. We possess such a body because of our attachment to our self; therefore, it is attachment and grasping at the self that give rise to all these undesirable sufferings.

Since the self-cherishing and self-grasping attitudes abide strongly fortified within our minds, we have never been able to shake them in the least. We have so far not been able to disturb them even as much as a small pebble in a shoe would disturb a person.

If we remain with our present outlook and way of thinking, we will still be under the influence and command of these two factors. We should reflect that these factors have always caused our downfall in the past, and that they will do so in the future if we remain under their influence.

In deeper terms, we will find that all the sufferings and problems and anxieties of not finding what we seek, of being separated from our loved ones, of physical illnesses, of suffering from want, lack of contentment, quarrels and so forth, come about because of our underlying attachment to the self and the self-cherishing attitude that tries to protect such a self within ourselves. The more selfish a person is, the more sufferings and anxieties he or she will have. This self-cherishing attitude manifests in all sorts of ways, which results in problems and anxieties. Yet we never recognize the truth—that these are all the doings of the self-cherishing attitude. Rather, we have the tendency to blame others and external factors: “He did it, and if he had done something else, it wouldn’t have happened.”

Even on a global level, if we search for the real cause of the two world wars and all the violence that fills human history, we will find that they all eventually trace back to the self-cherishing and self-grasping attitudes. The same is true of all the problems and conflicts within our world during the present age.

Even the problems we find at the family level and national level are due to the self-cherishing attitude and selfish thoughts. For example, in an argument between two people, each side will truly feel that it has more truth than the other; so if one side cannot submit and admit fault, then a physical fight may eventually ensue. When we have arguments, if one of the parties accepts the disputed matter as its own fault, then the argument will deflate right there, just like a punctured tire. We find that all these problems come about due to selfish thought, the thought that we did what was right but the others did not act correctly. The following verse from Lama Choepa sums this up quite succinctly:

This chronic disease of cherishing myself

Is the cause of unwanted suffering;

Perceiving this, may I be inspired

To blame, begrudge, and destroy

This self-cherishing demon.

3. REFLECTION ON THE ADVANTAGES OF THE THOUGHT CHERISHING THE WELFARE OF OTHERS

Having realized the enormous disadvantages of holding on to a selfish thought cherishing your welfare alone, you should now reflect upon the kindness of all mother sentient beings, as discussed earlier. The kindness of other beings toward us is boundless while we revolve in this cycle of existence. This is particularly true when we first embark upon a spiritual path and thus begin the process of untying the chains that bind us to this cyclic existence. Let us take the example of our present life and its survival in the human community. In this age, economic development is believed to be one of the most vital factors contributing to the happiness of a community, and it can be achieved only through the cooperation of others. Although two nations may have differences on many political issues, when they realize the importance of having economic links they will cooperate so as to achieve mutual economic benefit.

Even people who are totally anti-religious will accept and admit that the welfare of the masses is more important than the welfare of an individual. If the community is successful, then the individual will derive benefit from it; on the other hand, if one or two individuals are successful, but the community is failing, then sooner or later the individuals living in the community will face the consequences of such a failure. Therefore, when we work for the benefit of the masses, the fulfillment of our personal aims comes as a by-product. But if we are concerned with our own selfish aims, we will not achieve them. This is not merely a religious matter; it is a fact we can observe even in the worldly arena.

We find that if a person lives a very selfish life and is never concerned about the welfare of others, he will have few friends, and people will not take much notice of him. At the time of his death, there will not be many people who will regret his passing. Some deceptive and negative persons may be very powerful and wealthy, and therefore some people—for economic reasons and so forth—might portray themselves as friends, but they will speak against such persons behind their backs. When these negative persons die, these very same “friends” may rejoice at their death.

On the other hand, many people mourn and regret the death of a person who is very kind and always altruistic and who works for the benefit of others. We find that altruism, as well as the person who possesses it, is regarded as the friend of all, and it becomes the object of veneration and respect by others.

I often remark, partly in jest, that if one really wants to be selfish, one should be “wisely selfish” by working for others. By helping others, one will receive help and assistance in return, particularly when one is in a hard situation—the time when one needs assistance from others the most. But if one tries to be very selfish, then when one is in difficult circumstances, one will find fewer people who are willing to help and one will be left to resolve the situation and difficulty on one’s own. It is the nature of human beings to depend upon the cooperation and assistance of others, particularly when facing difficult times; during such times and during hardship it is only true friends who will be beneficial and helpful. By living an unselfish life, one will be able to earn genuine friends, whereas selfish thoughts and a selfish life will never gain one genuine and true friends.

The essence of Mahayana practice is really to teach us the methods by which we will be able to succeed not only in this life but also in the future. Such instruction is, in fact, very practical and relevant to all—believers and non-believers alike. If we are able to derive practical benefits within this lifetime by living a virtuous life, we will be able to fulfill the wishes of future lifetimes as well.

As the great bodhisattva Shantideva said in his Bodhisattva­caryavatara, there is no need to talk at great length about the advantages of the thought cherishing the welfare of others and the disadvantages and faults of the self-cherishing attitude. We need only compare ourselves, who are under the grip of the self-cherishing attitude, and the buddhas, who have abandoned such an attitude and who always cherish others, in order to see the disadvantages and advantages of the two types of mind.

The meaning of the assertion that the Buddha is very precious and exceptional should not be confined to the Buddha’s having major and minor noble marks alone; rather, the words point to the Buddha’s being always under the strong influence of compassion to its fullest extent. Since compassion is a true source of benefit and happiness, a being who has developed it to the fullest extent is someone whom we can truly admire and respect.

The Bodhisattva­caryavatara states:

If I do not exchange my happiness

For the sufferings of others,

I shall not attain the state of Buddhahood

And even in cyclic existence shall have no joy.

In the same vein, Lama Choepa reads:

Cherishing myself is the gateway to all failures,

While cherishing my mothers is the basis of all success.

Inspire me to make the core of my practice

The yoga of exchanging myself for others.

The original idea or motive of Karl Marx—founder of the philosophy that is the basis of the Chinese system—was to a large extent positive: it was to work for the benefit of the masses. Where it went wrong was that its actual practice was moved by resentment and confrontation based on a class struggle. The revolutionaries did not emphasize and enhance the practice of altruism. Because their approach was based on confrontation, with hatred between classes, they ended up having many poor in their society, rather than fulfilling what they originally had set out to achieve. This is a very good example of how hatred breeds suffering.

Buddhist writings emphasize the practice of overcoming selfish attitudes and generating the wish cherishing the welfare of others, which really is the true source of happiness and should be practiced by socialist countries to fulfill their aims. Reflecting upon the disadvantages of the self-cherishing thought and the advantages of the thoughts cherishing the benefit of others is in fact the true essence of the teachings on thought transformation. Having been convinced of this, one should undertake the practice of exchanging oneself with others.

4. THE ACTUAL EXCHANGE OF ONESELF WITH OTHERS

To exchange oneself with others is to reverse a former attitude: The thought of endearment and cherishing of oneself with its feeling of indifference toward others should now be reversed as follows. One should feel indifferent to oneself, reduce the force of clinging to oneself, and rather hold the welfare of other sentient beings as precious. That is the meaning of exchanging oneself with others. The degree of high value one feels toward oneself should now be turned toward others.

For this practice, one should also be knowledgeable about the commitments and precepts2 of thought transformation practices. If one undertakes such a practice one will be able to transform any adverse circumstances into favorable conditions of the path. In this age of degeneration when one meets with all sorts of problems and adverse circumstances, the practice of thought transformation is very effective. If someone lacks the practice of thought transformation, even though that person might be a very serious meditator he or she will meet with many hardships and hurdles.

5. GIVING AND TAKING

The practice of the actual exchange of oneself with others should be followed by the practice of giving and taking. The latter is begun by reflecting that although all mother sentient beings desire happiness, they lack it, and that although they do not desire suffering, they undergo it. Think that it is the ignorance of sentient beings that impels them to work for the fulfillment of their selfish aims.

You should develop the unusual, extraordinary attitude of wishing that all their sufferings ripen upon yourself. This meditation on taking and giving is quite powerfully presented in Lama Choepa3 in the following verse:

Therefore, O venerable compassionate gurus,

Inspire me that all karmic obscurations and sufferings of mother sentient beings

Ripen upon me right now,

And may I give others my happiness and merits

In order that all beings enjoy happiness.

And the great master Nagarjuna said in his Ratnavali:

May their negative fruits ripen upon me

And my positive fruits upon them.

Induced by the strong sense of compassion for other sentient beings, visualize taking all their sufferings upon yourself; and then, induced by the strong wish of love, visualize giving away from the depths of your heart all your virtuous collections, happiness, wealth, possessions, even your body, to other sentient beings.

Make the wish that through the force of your virtuous collections all sentient beings may experience their desirable consequences: May those who wish a favorable rebirth attain it, and may those who wish material possessions obtain them. Imagine that your virtues are transformed into the objects desired by all these sentient beings and that all sentient beings obtain them.

The practice of giving can be undertaken even in regards to your own spiritual gurus: you can give your virtuous collection to your guru so that the guru lives a long time in order to work longer for the benefit of other sentient beings. On the other hand, the practice of taking can be done only in regards to sentient beings, those who have not attained the highest form of enlightenment. From the bodhisattvas on the highest level you should imagine taking upon yourself the obstructions to knowledge that they have within themselves.

When you engage in the practice of taking, just as both Bodhisattva­caryavatara and the thought transformation text explain, you should first try to train yourself by imagining taking your own future sufferings upon yourself right now. Then, once you gain practice, apply the process to the sufferings of others.

Chekawa writes in his Lojong dhon dun ma (Seven Points on Thought Transformation):

Practice in combination

Both giving and taking.

Commence the taking from your side.

Place these two astride the breath.

If you can conjoin such practices with the breathing process—that is, imagining taking when inhaling and giving when exhaling—you will be able to engage in a powerful practice, leading you to the strong commitment that you will engage in the bodhisattva deeds. If you are able to engage in such a powerful practice, then due to the strong determination and commitment that you make as a result of cultivating bodhicitta, you will be able to alleviate the forces of the powerful and vast stores of negative actions committed in past lives, and also accumulate great stores of merit.

That is how you should train your mind in the cultivation of bodhicitta through the method of equalizing and exchanging yourself and others. When you are engaged in such a comprehensive practice, whether or not all sentient beings have been one’s mother does not make much difference. The fact that every sentient being has the natural tendency to desire happiness and shun suffering is a sufficient rationale for your practice. In any case, the kindness of beings is not confined to their having been your mothers; their kindness to you was also powerful when they were enemies in providing you with an opportunity to practice patience. Furthermore, their kindness is not limited to a time when you are in the ordinary state; it also extends to you on the spiritual path, and even in the resultant state. It is only because of the existence of others that the buddhas can do beneficial work and engage in their noble activities.

Since you are equal to others in having the innate desire for happiness and in having natural rights to happiness and fortune, the only difference is the number of beings involved. When you talk of the welfare of yourself, that is only one; whereas when you talk of the welfare of others, that is a matter of an infinite number of beings. Naturally, the welfare of others is much more important than your own welfare. Through the practice of giving and taking, you will reach a state where you will spontaneously regard it as such.

The major instructions on generating the altruistic mind of bodhicitta—the seven-point cause and effect method and the equalizing and exchanging of oneself and others—could also be most effectively undertaken in combination. For such a combined practice, performed after the practitioner has laid within his or her mind the basis of equanimity, the sequence will be: (1) recognizing all beings as having been one’s mother; (2) recollecting their kindness; (3) holding an uncommon recollection of kindness; (4) having the thought to repay their kindness; (5) developing loving kindness; (6) equalizing oneself and others; (7) reflecting on the disadvantages of the self-cherishing attitude; (8) reflecting on the advantages of the thought cherishing the welfare of others; (9) performing the actual exchange; (10) taking, concentrating on the aspirations of compassion; (11) giving, concentrating on the aspirations of love; (12) developing the special attitude; and the culmination; (13) achieving bodhicitta, the altruistic intention to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all.

By following the particular instructions in the Bodhisattva­caryavatara, you will be able to make gradual progress, eventually achieving a state where you will feel closer to other sentient beings and feel more and more distant from the self-cherishing attitude and selfish thoughts that are within, thus increasing the power and capacity of the altruism within you. This is how you should undertake the practice of bodhicitta.