| |
“YOU CAN MANIPULATE social media? How?” I ask. I think Amber covered this topic during spirit school, but she only touched on it briefly. She said you could manipulate social media, but she never taught us how.
“It's an advanced technique,” Orias says. “It involves a spiritual hack of the system and a tweaking of algorithms and such. I used to do it all the time when I haunted people. I'd try to get more hits for the paranormal channels... more views.”
My mind sticks on what seems like the most important part of his reply. “You... haunted people.”
“Indeed. Does that trouble you?” Orias asks. “Truthfully, it was the most fun I could possibly have. Humans are entertaining creatures when they're scared.”
I shake my head, unimpressed by his remarks. While we're chatting, Wallace rises from his armchair and heads into the kitchen. I'm curious, so I follow him in there. When he gets a Lunchable from the fridge, I feel like crying for some reason.
“That is what he's eating?” I exclaim. “That's kid's food!”
“Hey, if he likes it, don't judge him,” Orias chimes in. “He's a savvy grandpa, isn't he? He's on YouTube, after all. If he wanted to, I'm sure he could use the internet to buy himself some better food.”
“Still...” I catch myself pouting as I watch our charge stack his crackers and cheese. “Maybe it's been a long time since he's had a good, home-cooked meal? Don't you think that's kind of sad?”
“We don't know that. He might have home-cooked meals every day, for all we know. He has children.”
My eyes swell at Orias' reply, and I ask, “Does he?”
“Indeed. That's one of the pieces of information I heard when I was rooting around in his head,” Orias says. “He has three kids, all grown, and they all live nearby. He might eat with them all the time, for all we know. You don't have to pity someone just because they're old.”
“I'm not pitying him, I'm just...” My voice trails off. I don't have a good word to describe what I'm feeling. Maybe he's right. Maybe I do automatically pity people because they're older. Maybe I need to stop. “So... can you teach me how to manipulate social media?”
“No, but I can take care of it myself.” Orias chuckles, as if he's said something funny, but I don't appreciate it. “I have no desire to teach you anything, darling. You're a spirit school graduate, and I'm not your teacher.”
“I... guess you have a point.”
I follow Wallace back into the living room and back to the armchair, where he sits and continues to eat his snack. I don't really like my new partner. Maybe it's too soon to judge him, but Orias hasn't done or said anything commendable so far. I know he's a “fallen angel” or an “earth angel” or whatever, but does he have to be hateful all the time?
“So... the internet...” When Orias starts talking again, his voice is deadpan, as if he's incredibly bored. “Have you ever thought a thought, and a few minutes later, the very thing you're thinking about suddenly appears on your computer? There's usually a cheeky spirit behind that.”
“Really?” My nose wrinkles with doubt. “I just assumed your phone was listening to you or something.”
“That happens too, but can your phone listen to your thoughts?” Orias asks. “No, it can't... but a spirit can. We must convince Wallace to make a new video, and I'll make it go viral. I'll throw it in the face of a large, curious audience. If the old man wants to be famous, we'll make him famous. It should be easy!”
Easy for Orias, maybe... but not so easy for me. If he's not going to teach me his techniques, all I can do is watch.
Or... wait. Maybe there is something I can do? I need to convince Wallace to cover a song that will have a wider appeal. Don't get me wrong, his original songs are fine, but he needs to cover a song that everyone already knows. That will get him more views, with or without Orias' help.
Wallace has a collection of albums in the corner of the room. Most of them are old, from before my time, but there are a lot of songs I do know. Wallace might not be familiar with Lady Gaga, Blackpink or The Weeknd, but I can work with Pink Floyd, Billy Idol and Pearl Jam.
“What are you doing? I feel like you're up to something,” Orias observes.
“What's the most famous song from the eighties?” I ask. Most of Wallace's albums are from the sixties, seventies and eighties, but I'm most familiar with songs from the latter, because that's the music my parents loved. When I was a kid, I used to cringe when my dad would sing songs by The Police. Over time, I developed an appreciation for his bad karaoke. I wish I could go back to those days.
“You're asking me?” Orias throws back his head and laughs at the thought. “I know nothing about music, love. You're on your own.”
I consult my LightTab for more information. Searching for “popular songs from the 80s” might not be the most conventional use for the device, but it works.
“Sweet Child O' Mine!” I suddenly exclaim. “I'm going to convince Wallace to sing some Guns N' Roses. I think that would be cool.”
“And you think Wallace is familiar with this... Guns N' Roses?” Orias' nose practically shrivels as he repeats the name of my dad's favorite band. He looks so disgusted, it's kind of hilarious.
“Yeah. He has their album,” I say, pointing at the shelf. “It's probably the most modern album he owns. I mean, they're not modern, but still...”
Orias looks clueless. I'm not even sure why I'm talking to him about this. Ignoring my befuddled partner, I step up to Wallace and scream, “You need to cover Guns N' Roses' Sweet Child O' Mine and put it on YouTube!”
Our charge responses to my request immediately. How awesome is that? This is why I completed five out of five missions. Peter, my previous instructor, said I was uncommonly good at getting through to humans. At this point, it's basically my superpower. Right away, Wallace grabs his guitar and gets to work. He must have liked the idea as much as I did.
And... wow. As soon as Wallace starts singing, I get chills. I didn't even realize I could still get chills, but I do. My arms erupt in goosebumps as he performs a low, slow, guttural version of my dad's favorite song. It's like Johnny Cash meets Guns N' Roses. His guitar in the beginning is downright magical. It's so good, even Orias sits up and looks riveted by it. It's so good, I start to dance, and I never dance.
I let him sing through the entire song once before I demand, “Grab your camera, Wallace!”
Responding to my command, he gets his camera set up and sings again—and it's even better the second time! I have no idea how he's doing this so quickly and easily. He must have sung this song before, I guess.
“Well... it seems like you had some interesting ideas after all, Miss McMahon,” my partner praises me. I think this is the first time he's called me by my name instead of love or darling or anything like that. “When Wallace uploads this to his channel, I'll make it take off.”
“Are you sure you can do that?” I ask.
“Oh, I'm absolutely sure. I've done this so many times, I won't even have to try!” Orias exclaims.
I don't know how to feel about that reply. My new partner certainly doesn't lack confidence, does he?
I wish some of that confidence would rub off on me.