| |
SOOT TAINTED MY mouth.
Smoke laced my hair.
And my eyes still burned with sparkling orange and yellow from the bonfire. We’d stayed vigil for hours. Nila and Vaughn were the only ones who threw the documented debts onto the flames.
The rest of us paid our respects and supported them silently.
I didn’t save any evidence. I didn’t put aside valuable proof to incarcerate the men who’d hidden my family’s secrets. Partly, because their sins were our sins and it would be hypocritical to lay the blame at their feet when we all shared the crime. And mostly, because I wouldn’t use others’ pain as a bargaining chip.
I had more respect than that.
If the lawyers wanted to play and proved to be a problem when sorting out the final paperwork, then I had other means in which to hurt them. More just means. We’d dealt outside the law for so long, a few more ‘loose ends’ could be managed in the same way.
Tex had stared ahead, his hands clasped and face hard. If I let myself feel what he went through, I’d suffer a clout of shellshock. He hugged Emma’s last remains, twirling her engagement ring from the box as if he could invoke a spell to bring her back.
But nothing would bring her back.
Nothing could undo what Emma had announced.
And I feared what Nila would do once the wounds of tonight had been tended to and she’d had more time to think about the sudden revelation of having a sister.
I hid my derisive snort. Daniel had been right, after all. His stupid joke in the car about stealing the wrong sister—he’d meant nothing by it—a stupid ploy to unsettle Nila even more.
But somehow, he’d guessed the unthinkable.
There’d been another Weaver.
A firstborn girl hidden from us.
Jacqueline.
A few minutes older than Vaughn. A few minutes older than Nila.
The love of my life had been sacrificed to a fate that wasn’t hers to bear.
Did that make me happy or sad?
Happy she’d become mine?
Sad I’d put her through so much?
Who was Jacqueline?
What did she look like? How would she have reacted?
My hands balled.
One thing I was certain of—whoever Jacqueline was, she wasn’t Nila. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with her. I wouldn’t have broken my vow or bowed at her feet.
Jacqueline wouldn’t have changed history.
Succumbing to torrenting thoughts, I remained silent, locked where I would stay for the rest of my life—beside Nila.
I didn’t leave as she threw paperwork and audio and video into the raging flames. Every time Nila looked my way, I kissed her. I passed her file after file, delivering my family’s crimes into her hands to dispose of.
Only once the grass was empty of history did we disperse our separate ways. The fire would continue to rage on its own while we retired to different corners to rest, revalue, and regroup.
Textile was the first to disappear, wordlessly hugging Emma’s box and disappearing into the orchard grove.
Vaughn rolled Jasmine toward the Hall, her wheels sucking in the mud of her tracks from carting so many files earlier in the evening.
Nila and I—we headed back to my quarters.
Her cheeks smudged with ash and charred pieces of paper decorated her hair and lined her jacket hood. She looked as if she’d been in a battle. She looked endlessly tired.
Entering the bachelor wing and my bedroom—our bedroom—I shrugged out of my jacket and draped it over an ancient sideboard.
Nila drifted to the middle of the carpet, staring blankly at the bed.
My heart clenched. All I wanted to do was take away the weight of decision and grant her peace. Moving behind her, I unzipped her jacket and slid it off her arms.
The scents of fire and fresh air licked around her.
“Do you want a shower?” I asked softly, massaging her shoulders.
She jumped, startled by my voice after only the crackle of fire as conversation. Turning to lock herself in my embrace, she shook her head. “I don’t need a shower.” Her voice echoed with need for something else. I didn’t need to ask what she needed—I already knew.
I knew far more than I should.
However, I was respectful of granting some semblance of boundaries.
Nila had a lot to sort out internally. I wouldn’t make it worse knowing she couldn’t pretend she was okay when I knew completely she was not.
So even though I didn’t need to, I asked anyway, “What do you need...”
Her head tilted up, her black eyes flashing with ebony fire. “You.” She stood on tiptoes, pressing her lips to mine. “I need you.”
My cock thickened; my heart raced.
I needed her, too. So fucking much. More now than ever as she was currently lost to me. She didn’t know how to take her position within this life. She didn’t know how to admit to herself that if she hadn’t been chosen over Jacqueline, she would never have met me. Never have fallen for me. And I would never have fallen for her.
I groaned as the true worry of her thoughts rose.
I didn’t want to pry, but I couldn’t let her think such incorrect things.
“I wouldn’t have loved her, Needle.”
She gasped, her kiss stalling.
I parted her lips with my tongue, feeding her the truth. “Only you. I don’t care she was supposed to be my inheritance. I don’t care you took her place. In fact, I’m so fucking glad.”
Her breath hitched as I kissed her harder, crushing her to me. “I’m so happy it was you because you cured me, fixed me. I love you, Nila. Not her. Not anyone else. You.”
Her arms, both good and broken, slung around my neck, pulling me hard against her mouth. I let her guide me to bed. I let her control the kiss. I let her grab my shirt and pull me down upon her. And I let her control whatever she needed.
I’d give her anything she ever wanted.
I’d spend the rest of my life ensuring she never had to doubt my feelings for her.
She was it for me.
It didn’t matter if lies brought us together.
Fate had decided we were matched.
And we’d fulfilled that prophecy by falling head over fucking heels.
