A FANCY SPLAT

All afternoon and well into the evening, Megabat fumed about the cat who’d ruined Christmas.

“Hers was so rude,” he told Birdgirl. The pigeon—who was working on an art project that involved a big pile of pinecones—looked up.

“Firsting of all, hers didn’t even say hello or nicely to meet you!” he began, listing the insults on his left wingtip. “Nextly, hers brokened the decorations on the dead tree! And final, hers ruined the whole of Christmas.”

Birdgirl gave a sympathetic coo, but it didn’t make Megabat feel much better. He stared out the tiny shed window, hunched his wings up and grumbled as he imagined the wonderful Christmas going on inside the house without him.

Megabat was still mad the next morning when Daniel came out to get him.

“Priscilla won’t eat her kibble, so Mom went to buy her some organic cat food in case she likes that better,” Daniel said. “Mom’ll be gone at least an hour. We can paint the steam engine now if you want.”

Megabat had intended to tell Daniel to go play with his cat instead, since he seemed to like her soooo much, but at the sound of the words steam engine, his large ears perked up.

“Fine, fine,” he said, coming to hang from Daniel’s outstretched finger. “But only for a shortish time. Mine’s gots a very busy day.”

“Doing what?” Daniel looked around the shed.

“Helping Birdgirl with hers’s project.” The bat motioned toward Birdgirl’s pinecones.

“What’s she making?” Daniel asked.

In truth, Megabat hadn’t bothered to ask yet, but when he flew over to give his beloved a good-bye peck on the cheek, he gasped in fright. Then he grinned. “Aha! Giant pretend puffer rats!”

Back when Megabat had lived on the papaya farm in Borneo, the farmer had put large dolls between the rows of fruit trees. The job of these saggy people was to scare away the birds—which was how Megabat knew what Birdgirl had in mind.

“Hers will be putting them in the yard,” he said, showing the fearsome-looking decoys to Daniel. They were made from pinecones, rocks, acorns, twigs and various things from the recycling bin. Birdgirl was always crafty, but this time she’d outdone herself.

“Theys will scare the real puffer rats away from stealing the seeds. Birdgirl! Yours is a genius.”

“Coo-woo,” Birdgirl said modestly.

Daniel, Megabat and Birdgirl worked together to move the scary pinecone statues into the yard. Then Daniel and Megabat went inside. Megabat was glad to see that Daniel had already brought the model steam engine and paints to the table. But instead of sitting down to start, his friend crouched near the buffet.

“Priscilla’s been under here all morning,” he explained. “Here kitty-kitty,” Daniel called softly. The cat didn’t emerge, so Daniel lay on his stomach to get a better look. “I guess she’s still not too sure about us, but Mom says she’ll probably come around in a day or two.”

Megabat couldn’t understand why Daniel liked the cat when she was no fun and all she ever did was hide. But he didn’t want to get in trouble again, so he didn’t say so. Instead, he got busy opening the little pots of paint. There were all the colors of the rainbow—plus a tiny pot of shimmering gold.

“Did you see how blue her eyes are?” Daniel commented, not getting up to help Megabat, even though the lid of the orange paint was stuck. Instead, he opened a bag of cat treats and shook one into his hand. “You don’t get that with just any cat. It’s because she’s so fancy and purebred.”

“Huh, how goes it?” Megabat muttered. He turned the little pot around looking for a pull-tab or something, but Daniel mistook his question for interest in the cat.

“It doesn’t mean that she’s made of bread or anything,” he explained, holding out the treat. “Purebred means both her parents were the same breed of cat. Chocolate seal point Birmans. With beautiful markings on their faces and pure-white paws, just like hers.”

Megabat abandoned the paint pot and shuffled to the edge of the table just in time to see the cat poke her nose out from beneath the buffet to smell the treat, then catch sight of Daniel and disappear again.

Megabat straightened his back and ruffled his wings importantly.

“Interestingly, mine is being purebred also,” he announced.

“No you’re not!” Daniel laughed. That hurt Megabat’s feelings.

“Mine is!” he insisted. “Both Megabats’s parents was bats.”

“Where’s your certificate, then?” Daniel asked. “Priscilla came with a certificate from a breeder. Mrs. Cormier showed Mom. It has a gold seal on it and everything.”

Megabat didn’t have a certificate or a gold seal, or even know exactly what those things were. He gave a little huff and busied himself with the paint pots again. After getting orange open, he managed to do green, blue and purple without much trouble.

When he was done, he pushed the steam engine into the center of the table and cleared his throat to let Daniel know it was time to begin.

“One sec, okay?” Daniel said over his shoulder. “I’m just going to open some canned tuna. Maybe that will get her out. Cats love tuna.”

Daniel dropped the cat treat he’d been holding on the floor and left the rest of the bag on the table. He disappeared into the kitchen.

Megabat loved treats, so he teetered over and sounded out the words on the side of the bag. F-ish Bit-ees. He tilted the package, sniffed, then gagged.

The small brown lumps inside looked like beetle dung, but smelled worse. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to eat one…but just then Priscilla’s whiskers poked out, followed by her whole head. She glanced both ways to make sure no one was around. Then her nose began to dance as she crouched low and inched across the floor toward the treat Daniel had left behind.

When she reached it, she crunched the lump hungrily, and as she ate, Megabat studied her from above. Sure, the cat was soft, but she was kind of lumpy in places—especially around the back. And he couldn’t understand the big deal about the markings Daniel had talked about. They were just brown smudges.

That was what gave him the idea.

Working quietly, so as to surprise Daniel, Megabat picked up a brush and dipped it into the pot of red paint. He made a big arc across his furry stomach, then added a swipe of orange, followed by purple, green and blue until a nighttime rainbow stood out brightly against his black fur. He definitely looked fancy now, but there was something missing.

Stars, of course. Nothing was fancier than stars!

Megabat dipped one talon and then the other into the little pot of gold paint and pressed them all over his wings to make sparkling patches. He added one last star on his nose—the biggest, brightest of all.

“Ta-daaaaaah!” he sang, but Daniel was still in the kitchen.

“Just a sec,” his friend called back. “Almost done.”

Meanwhile, the startled cat froze on the spot. She looked up at Megabat. Her muscles tensed. Her eyes grew round and shiny as marbles.

“What does yours wanting?” Megabat asked. But, of course, the cat didn’t give him a straight answer. She just kept staring.

Suddenly, it was obvious! Now that he was so beautifully decorated, the brown-splotched cat was sad that she wasn’t the fanciest animal in the house anymore. Well, that was hardly his fault!

“Yes, yes.” Megabat strutted to the other end of the table. “Megabat is gorgeous and yours is regular.”

As if confirming how badly she wanted to be pretty like him, Priscilla looked up at the table and gave a soft, plaintive miew.

Megabat sighed. He couldn’t help it. He felt a little bit bad for her. “Oka-hay, fine. Mine will giving yours one decoration.”

He picked up the blue paint pot and went to drizzle a splotch onto her tail, but the cat dodged him. Perhaps she didn’t understand that staying still was an important part of getting painted.

“Aha!” Megabat said. “Mine knows what will make yours stay non-moving.” He held his breath against the stink, then pushed over the bag of cat treats that was sitting beside him. A big pile fell to the floor, and once the cat was hunched over eating, Megabat was able to get to work.

Mostly blue. Next purple. Finally, a few bright dashes of yellow. The colors made the cat look like the peacock he’d seen with Daniel at the zoo once—a huge improvement. But instead of thanking him, as soon as Priscilla had finished her fish bites, she began to turn in frantic circles.

“Stopping that!” Megabat shouted. “Yours will ruining the decorations before they dries!”

“What’s going on?” Daniel came back into the room. “Megabat! Why is the cat blue?” He made a grab for Priscilla, but she dashed right past him toward the safety of the buffet, leaving paint marks behind on his pants.

“I prettied her while she eated stink bites,” Megabat explained. “And looking! Ta-daaaaaah!” He stuck out his tummy and unfurled his wings to give Daniel the full night-sky effect.

But instead of marveling at the twinkliness of the stars, admiring the cheerfulness of the rainbow, and saying how gorgeous and clever Megabat was, Daniel gasped.

“Megabat!” he said. “What were you thinking?”