MRS. CORMIER

The next morning, Birdgirl and Megabat awoke to the familiar sounds of Daniel’s mom tossing handfuls of birdseed onto the lawn and then closing the back door.

Megabat flew over to hang from the top of the shed window. “Birdgirl!” he called excitedly. “It’s being time!”

Birdgirl swooped out of the shed and went to perch in the big tree. Megabat saw her land on an upper branch. They both watched the puffer rats dash toward the seed pile. The fat gray one rubbed its front paws together greedily while the scraggle-tailed black one started stuffing its cheeks. Three of their rat friends joined them as well.

Megabat signaled Birdgirl by tilting a shiny foil pie plate they’d found in the recycling bin. The squirrels were in the perfect position.

Megabat grabbed the string they’d threaded out the shed window, stretched across the yard and tied to the old birdhouse. Meanwhile, Birdgirl pushed the birdhouse. It took everything they had, but finally, between Megabat’s pulling and Birdgirl’s pushing, the birdhouse came loose, plummeting to the ground below and landing—with amazing precision—on the old horn from Daniel’s bike that they’d found in the shed and buried in the snow.

HOOOOOOONK!

The sudden blast pierced the morning air and the squirrels leapt three feet, spun around and dashed up the fence as if their tails were on fire.

Megabat flew out into the yard. “Haha!” he cried. “Taking that, puffer rats!”

Birdgirl came down from the tree and together they collected the seeds and brought them back to the shed for safekeeping. It would be enough to keep Birdgirl fed for several days.

Now it was time to check if anyone had written back about buying the cat. But to do that, Megabat needed to get back into the house, which meant asking Daniel to forgive him for painting the cat. Luckily, Birdgirl’s craftiness came in handy. She was busy with a new project—a sign for the door of their shed that would read HOME SWEET HOME. The H’s, E’s and M’s were made of dried grass, and the S was a piece of bent wire, but she was having trouble finding O’s. Still, Birdgirl selflessly put her own project aside and helped Megabat attach twigs to a piece of birch bark using tree sap as glue.

When it was done, Megabat flew up to Daniel’s bedroom windowsill. He knocked twice with his wingtip, then pressed the bark up against the glass. It had taken them ages to sound it all out.

“Oh, all right, Megabat.” Daniel opened the window. “You can come back in. Just promise you’ll be nice to Priscilla.”

Megabat crossed his wingtips behind his back and promised. Then he suggested going downstairs to work on the puzzle Daniel had gotten for Christmas. That way they’d be near the computer if it dinged with messages.

When they got to the living room, the friends examined the box and made a plan. The picture was of a park with a playground, a duck pond and a lady on a bench feeding pigeons. Daniel decided to work on the edges, while Megabat picked out the red bits that would make the playground’s twirly slide. He’d barely finished his pile, though, when they were rudely interrupted.

“Priscilla!” Daniel laughed. The cat, who had finally stopped hiding, had jumped onto the coffee table. She was knocking around puzzle pieces with her paw.

“Stopping that!” Megabat said as the cat’s fluffy tail swept some of his red pieces onto the floor.

“I think she’s trying to help.” Daniel smiled.

“Huh. Much unhelpful helping,” Megabat muttered, picking up his pieces.

“No, really!” Daniel laughed. “She found some matches. These three pieces make a pigeon!”

Megabat grumbled that they weren’t working on the pigeon part yet.

“Miew!” Priscilla said sadly. She nudged the joined-up pieces toward Megabat with her paw and gave him an imploring look.

Was she trying to make a big deal over the fact that she’d found a match before him? He thought about telling her to stop showing off, but then he remembered he’d fake-promised Daniel he’d be nice to her.

“Hmm. Pigeons,” he acknowledged gruffly. He pushed the pieces aside with his wingtip. “Mine will be working on thems next.” Although, secretly, he probably wouldn’t. He might even leave the pigeons till very last.

As they continued to work on the puzzle, Megabat kept a keen eye on the computer in the corner…but it didn’t ding with a new message. Not once! Then, just as Daniel was fitting together the last edge piece to make the puzzle’s frame, the doorbell rang.

Megabat’s heart leapt. Perhaps it was someone coming to buy the no-good cat…but no. It was just Mrs. Cormier from three houses down. Had she come to take the cat back? Megabat waited, hoping…

The old lady was standing on the hallway mat, stomping snow off her boots. Even from inside Daniel’s pocket, Megabat could smell her perfume: like dead flowers coated in dust. It must have been tickling Daniel’s nose too, because, right away, he sneezed.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” Mrs. Cormier said. “But I can’t stop wondering how Priscilla’s getting on.”

“Not at all!” Daniel’s mother said. “Why don’t you come in and have some tea and a visit?”

Mrs. Cormier took off her coat and walked into the living room. She smiled when she caught sight of Priscilla. “There’s my princess,” she said.

The old lady brushed some nearly invisible lint off the sofa, then sat primly on the edge and patted her lap. Priscilla didn’t hop up, so Mrs. Cormier reached down, grasped the cat roughly around the middle and pulled her onto her nylon-covered knee. “There’s my precious angel buttercup.” She kissed the cat with loud, smoochy lips. Priscilla wriggled and tried to jump down, but Mrs. Cormier’s claw-like hand held her in place. The old lady stroked the cat’s side and the corners of her mouth pulled down into a frown.

“Have you been brushing her?” she asked.

“Sometimes,” Daniel answered. Suddenly, he sneezed so hard that Megabat, who was hiding inside Daniel’s pocket, had to grab on to the buttonhole to keep from falling out.

“Bless you,” Mrs. Cormier said, but she didn’t sound like she meant it. “Sometimes won’t do,” she went on. “Look at this.” Mrs. Cormier pointed to a spot on Priscilla’s back. “The fur’s getting matted. She needs brushing. At least twice a day.” Mrs. Cormier pulled at the knot in Priscilla’s fur with her fingers. The cat flattened her ears and scowled.

Daniel’s mother came in with a cup of tea for Mrs. Cormier, but the neighbor only took one sip before pronouncing it “lukewarm and much too strong.” She set it down on the side table near the Christmas tree.

Ahhhh-choo!

Now it was Mrs. Cormier’s turn to sneeze. “All right, Priscilla,” she said to the cat, who was still wriggling on her lap. “You’re getting me all furry. Off you go.” She plopped the bewildered-looking cat onto the carpet.

Priscilla immediately dashed under the big armchair—and this time, Megabat didn’t blame her for hiding. He’d hide too if Mrs. Cormier wanted to smooch him and pull his fur.

Mrs. Cormier picked the cat hairs off her skirt one by one and dropped them to the floor. And as she picked and dropped, she complained to Daniel’s mother about uninteresting things—dry nasal passages, the cost of something called hydro, and how there were too many different types of yogurt these days.

Megabat was about to nod off to sleep when there was a loud rustling noise underneath the armchair. Mrs. Cormier got up to investigate.

“What on earth has Priscilla got there?” She bent over stiffly to look.

“It’s probably just that foil ball she found the other day,” Daniel’s mother explained.

“Well, take it from her, would you?” Mrs. Cormier sounded impatient. “It looks like a piece of trash!”

Daniel’s mother sighed a little, but she got down on her hands and knees to retrieve it. Megabat peered out of the buttonhole of Daniel’s shirt. He gasped! It wasn’t a piece of trash! It was the head of Daniel’s R2-D2. The special present he’d made Daniel for Christmas!

“She really seems to like it,” Daniel’s mother said, holding up the head.

Megabat didn’t care if she liked it!

“Well, surely you have more appropriate toys for her,” Mrs. Cormier said. Megabat couldn’t have agreed more!

For a second, he almost liked the cranky old lady, but then she did the unthinkable! Mrs. Cormier took R2-D2’s head from Daniel’s mother and plopped it into her still-full teacup. “Be a dear and throw that out when you dump the tea,” she said to Daniel’s mom.

Through the buttonhole, Megabat could see the special present bobbing on the surface. He had to get it back! Without stopping to think, he launched himself out of Daniel’s pocket toward the teacup, landing inside with a thunk and a splash. For a second, he sank to the bottom, but then he came up sputtering and grabbed onto the floating foil ball like it was a life preserver.

“Huh?” Daniel said, and the adults turned to look.

“Did one of your Christmas ornaments just fall into my tea?” Mrs. Cormier asked. She reached toward the cup to check, but luckily, Priscilla chose that moment to show off.

“Miew!” The cat hopped up onto the coffee table. “Miew!” She paraded back and forth through the puzzle pieces, swishing her tail grandly so no one would miss its fluffiness.

Mrs. Cormier sneezed. “Oh, you silly thing! Do get down off the furniture.”

But when she picked Priscilla up to drop her on the floor again, the old lady let out her biggest sneeze yet.

“There go my allergies,” she said. “I need to leave.” She started to fuss with her handbag.

Meanwhile, Daniel picked up the teacup before anyone else could get to it. “Shhhh!” he said to Megabat.

Suddenly, Daniel sneezed too. The cup rocked in his hands and Megabat had to wrap his wing over the side to avoid being washed out in a wave of tea.

“I hope you aren’t allergic to cats too, young man,” Mrs. Cormier said. Then she headed for the door with promises to stop by later with a proper catnip toy for Priscilla.

While Daniel’s mother said good-bye, Daniel headed straight to the kitchen to rescue Megabat. “That was way too close,” he said as he dried Megabat off on the bottom of his T-shirt. “Mom and Mrs. Cormier almost saw you!”

Daniel tucked the bat back into his pocket along with the foil ball just as his mother came into the kitchen with a weary sigh.

“Priscilla’s lucky Mrs. Cormier’s allergic,” Daniel said. He dumped the tea and handed her the cup to put into the dishwasher. “Who’d want to live with a mean old lady like her?”

“Daniel,” his mother scolded, but she didn’t disagree.

“She smells like the air fresheners they use in gas station bathrooms,” Daniel went on, wrinkling his nose.

At that, Daniel’s mother gave him her do not be rude young man look.

“Well, it’s true!” he said. “Her perfume kept making me sneeze.” Instead of scolding him again, this time Daniel’s mother doled out a real punishment. “Get your coat,” she said. “We’re going to buy Christmas sweaters for next year’s family photo.”

“But why?! Christmas is more than three hundred and sixty days away.”

Daniel’s mother pointed out that the sweaters would be on sale for exactly that reason. Then she went to get the car keys and Daniel’s dad.

“Can you please, for once, keep out of trouble while I’m gone?” Daniel told Megabat before he left. “Just sit quietly and see how much puzzle you can get done, okay?”

Megabat promised he would be a very good bat, but, truthfully, he had no intention of working on the puzzle. He’d just come up with an even sneakier (and stinkier) plan to get rid of that no-good, always-hiding, pigeon-hunting, present-stealing cat, and this was the perfect chance to put it into action.