CHAPTER 10

The Tin Hat

By the time I got back to the station, the train was gone, whoever had gotten off the train was gone, the taxicabs were gone, and the baggage handlers and the railroad guys were gone. The waiting room was empty, except for one guy in a blue railroad suit with brass buttons. He was sweeping the floor.

“Hello, hogger,” the guy in the blue suit said to me.

“Hogger?”

“Yes. Aren’t you a hogger, a hoghead, a driver . . . an engineer?”

“Oh, because of the hat! No, I am not an engineer.”

“I thought you looked a little young to be a hoghead, but then you might have been a young-looking midget. So, what do you do on the railroad?”

“I don’t do anything,” I said. “I was a passenger on the Super Chief.”

“You’re a peep? And you missed your varnish? The Super Chief is highballing and you’re stuck out on track seven.”

I didn’t get a word of it. Mr. MacDougal explained that peep is short for people, meaning a passenger, a varnish is a passenger train, highballing means going down the track at maximum speed, and stuck out on track seven means you’re screwed. Mr. MacDougal told me he was the tin hat, or station master.

“I’ll radio a message to the pin puller—that’s the conductor—and let him know where you landed. Come on into the office.”

Mr. MacDougal talked into a thing that looked like a telephone. “This is Flag. Put the skipper on,” he said. “I’ve got a pint-size peep on the siding. Missed his snoozer. Let me know what you want done with him.

“Have a seat, young man. The brains—that’s the conductor—will tell your folks you’re alive and kicking and radio back to me. Have you put on the nosebag? The lizard scorcher at the Chuckwagon Café across the street could send over a sandwich.”

I told Mr. MacDougal that I’d had my dinner.

“Well, just sit there and let off steam,” Mr. MacDougal said. “We should get a message back pretty quick.”

And pretty quick there was a loud buzz, and Mr. MacDougal picked up the receiver. Whoever was on the other end did most of the talking. Mr. MacDougal said “uh-huh” a lot, and wrote things down in a little notebook. Then he said, “Tell Mr. Wentworthstein that we’ll make sure his boy gets there” and put the receiver down.

Then he picked up the regular telephone and dialed a number. “Charley, this is MacDougal down at the station. We have a stranded passenger, a young fellow. Can you fix him up with a room for the night?” Then Mr. MacDougal listened for a while, and looked at me. “I’ll ask him. Neddie, are you a stable and steady young man?”

I told him I was.

“He says he is. Neddie, your nerves are good? You’re not afraid of spooks and goblins, are you?”

I told him I was certainly not.

“He seems a manly little chap to me,” Mr. MacDougal said. “I’ll send him over. Railroad will pay, and collect from his dad. So long, Charley.”

Mr. MacDougal fished a little book out of a desk drawer and filled out a form. Then he tore the form out of the book and handed it to me. “Sign this. It’s a receipt for fifty dollars, for your expenses along the way, which the railroad is advancing to you, and your father will pay us back.” He unlocked a drawer and counted out some bills. I signed the receipt.

“Now, here is the schedule,” Mr. MacDougal said. “I am supposed to get you onto a train to Los Angeles—which will not be easy, since everything is booked up solid. When you get to Los Angeles, either your father will pick you up at the station or someone will put you in a cab to the Hermione Hotel, which is where your family will be staying. I’ve written down the name. Your folks will be there from tomorrow morning on. Tonight, you will stay up the street at the Monte Vista Hotel, which is jam-packed because of the cowboy jamboree in town, and has only one room available—and it’s haunted. Do you have any objection to sharing with a ghost?”

“Uh . . . is it a nice ghost?”

“Very nice ghost from what I hear. I don’t think it’s the kind that keeps you up all night.”

“In that case, it suits me fine,” I said.

“Good lad. You can sign for your meals at the hotel. Come down here in the morning to see if I was able to get you on a train.”

I thanked Mr. MacDougal and made my way up the hill to the Monte Vista Hotel.