CHAPTER 62

Who Else?

“I wonder who else will show up this morning,” I said.

“My coffee got cold while those fat space cops were talking,” Iggy said.

“I’ll get you another one,” I said.

Just then, Aaron Finn pulled up in his Packard convertible. Seamus and Billy the Phantom Bellboy were with him. “What ho, chaps?” Aaron Finn said.

“There were cops from space here,” I said.

“Well, it was twelve fat guys who said they were space cops,” Iggy put in.

“They said that Sholmos Bunyip was evil, and the world might be more or less sort of doomed.”

“That could be serious,” Aaron Finn said.

“They said it had to do with the turtle, in some way that they didn’t make clear,” I said. ”And it’s a bad thing that Sholmos Bunyip has it. I feel sort of responsible.”

“Oh, because you stashed the turtle at Stuffed Stuff ’n’ Stuff?” Seamus said. “You shouldn’t blame yourself, Neddie. It was a perfectly reasonable place to hide it.”

“Is anybody getting doughnuts?” Billy the Phantom Bellboy asked. “I’m dying for a sniff.”

“We should really have a talk with Sergeant Caleb, also known as Melvin the shaman,” Aaron Finn said. “He’s the one who gave you the turtle in the first place, and the only person I can think of who might know what it’s all about.”

“It’s hard to get Melvin to give out information,” Iggy said. “We tried one time, and it wasn’t all that satisfactory. However, if you’d like to give it a shot, you may, because here he comes.”

Sergeant Melvin was coming down the street. With him was Crazy Wig, wearing his horny hat.

“I thought you left town,” I said to Crazy Wig.

“I got thrown off the bus for chanting and dancing,” Crazy Wig said. “Do they have those twisted crullers here?”

“Allow me to shout for doughnuts for everybody,” Aaron Finn said.

“Shout for?”

“It’s Australian,” Iggy said. “Means he’s going to treat us. Make mine a double chocolate, please.”

Aaron Finn made two trips with armloads of doughnuts and containers of coffee. “Now, Sergeant, what’s the emmis?”

Melvin the sergeant took a sip of coffee. “You mean about the turtle?” he asked.

“Oooh! Oooh! I saw you in a vision,” Crazy Wig said to Aaron Finn. “It was one of your past lives, without a doubt! It was sometime in the past, the Middle Ages, maybe. You had a sword, and you were fighting this guy with a big nose!”

“You’re remembering a movie,” I said. “He acts in movies.”

“Oh,” Crazy Wig said.

“Back to the turtle,” Aaron Finn said. “Neddie tells us he talked to some policemen from another planet.”

“Were they fat?” Melvin asked.

“Yes.”

“I know those guys,” Melvin the shaman said. “They have no jurisdiction in Los Angeles. They arrested my friend Crazy Wig here, and he just told them to take a walk.”

“What did they arrest you for?” Seamus asked Crazy Wig.

“Predicting without a license,” Crazy Wig said. “It was a bum rap. They didn’t even know you don’t need a license to make predictions on this planet. Some cops.”

Aaron Finn was doing a good job of concealing the fact that he was getting frustrated. He was a good actor. “They told Neddie that the turtle, the original turtle you gave him, had something to do with a huge catastrophe that’s supposed to happen.”

“I don’t see why that’s any business of theirs,” Melvin said. “They’re not even from around here.”

Seamus, Iggy, Billy the Phantom Bellboy, Crazy Wig, and I munched our doughnuts and enjoyed watching Aaron Finn try to interrogate Melvin the shaman.

“All right, let’s take things one at a time,” Aaron Finn said. “Is there going to be a catastrophe?”

“Well, sooner or later,” Melvin said. “You wait around long enough, and everything will happen. Earthquakes, floods, forest fires, volcanic eruptions, plagues of giant animals—it’s all part of life, you know. But you mustn’t worry. Worrying never helps.”

“We’ll come back to the catastrophe,” Aaron Finn said. “Let’s talk about the turtle.”

“What turtle?” Melvin asked.

“The one you gave Neddie.”

“Oh yes, that turtle,” Melvin said. “You know, he doesn’t have it anymore.”

“We know.”

“To keep it safe, he switched it with another turtle at Stuffed Stuff ’n’ Stuff, but unfortunately that man came in and bought it.”

“That man? What man?”

“The one over there, ordering a doughnut.”

Sandor Eucalyptus, also known as Nick Bluegum, was at the little window, buying two lemon-filled doughnuts and a grape soda.

“Seamus, go to the car and get my sword and my hat,” Aaron Finn said. “Spread out, everyone. We’re going to catch Mr. Eucalyptus.”

Seamus hurried back with a sword, and a big hat with a feather. Aaron Finn put the hat on and took the sword in hand.

“Just like my vision!” Crazy Wig said.