CHAPTER 6

I can’t believe September is almost over,” Clara said as she rubbed Hank’s chin. He was sitting on their spare stool inside the roadside stand.

“I know.” Tena leaned forward on the counter and looked at the pumpkins sitting on the shelves Chris and Wayne had built the previous spring. “Next week is October.”

“The month has flown by.” Clara turned toward her. “Alex is working out well. He’s done a great job keeping up with the weeding in the garden. Jerry told me he said he really likes working there because it calms him and he loves being outdoors.”

“That’s nice.” Tena ran her fingers over the counter as she considered the past few weeks. She’d tried to get used to eating all her meals with Alex and seeing him around the garden and the house, but she couldn’t stop feeling nervous around him.

She supposed he was pleasant enough and seemed respectful, and she no longer thought he would hurt them, at least physically. He was also hardworking, and he insisted on helping with the dishes even though she and Aenti Emma repeatedly told him it wasn’t necessary. But he was still an Englisher. She wasn’t willing to trust him like Aenti Emma and her friends seemed to, and she avoided him as much as possible. He could still be deceiving them.

Wayne had asked Tena several times if she felt comfortable around Alex, and each time she told him everything was fine. Still, she looked forward to the day when Alex decided to leave and find a new place to live.

“Everyone loves Alex.” Clara returned to rubbing the cat’s chin. “I heard Biena say he might work us all out of a job since he’s so gut at gardening. He planted all Emma’s spring flower bulbs before anyone else could offer.”

Tena looked down at her fingernails. She’d bitten them to the quick.

“All right, Tena.” Clara faced her. “I’ve known you for three months now, and I can tell when you’re avoiding a conversation. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Tena shrugged and looked out toward the road. Now would be the perfect time for a car full of Englishers to come and start buying all our goods.

When no car appeared, she decided to change the subject. “How are things with Jerry?”

“They’re gut.” Clara’s smile brightly. “We can’t officially date until he’s baptized next year, but we’re enjoying spending time together.”

“He’s really nice.”

Ya, he is, and he’s handsome too.” Her cheeks flushed, and Tena laughed. “My parents really love him. I can hardly wait until he’s baptized. We have so much to look forward to.”

Ya, you do.” Tena drew circles on the top of the counter with her finger as memories swirled through her mind. She recalled how her heart had raced when Lewis proposed and how her mother had cried tears of joy when Tena told her the news.

Life was perfect back then—or so she’d thought. She believed she could never be happier, and then it all fell apart when she found Lewis kissing that woman behind his father’s dairy barn the day she’d surprised him with one of his favorite pies—cherry. The ground seemed to collapse beneath her feet.

Lewis apologized for lying, but he also told her this Kendra Ramsey was his true love. He was going to leave the church and marry her.

Tena’s world exploded in a million pieces, and she was certain she’d never love or trust another man.

“Are you really going to go back to Indiana after Thanksgiving?”

Tena’s gaze snapped to Clara’s, finding concern and possibly even disappointment there. “Ya, that’s what I told my parents and Aenti Emma.”

Clara frowned. “We’re all going to miss you when you go, especially Wayne.”

I’ll miss him too.

Tena dismissed the thought. This wasn’t her home, and she wasn’t ready to trust any man. Her heartache was still too fresh.

A dark-colored SUV pulled up in front of the stand, and Tena and Clara sat up straight.

“Good morning,” Clara sang as a young woman with long, wavy blond hair, bright-blue eyes, and a wide smile approached.

“Hi.” She turned to the tall man with her. He had dark hair and eyes. “I think this is the place. I heard they have the best produce in Lancaster County.”

As the woman came closer, Tena’s stomach soured. With her flashy smile and fancy hair and purse, she reminded Tena of Kendra. She fought the urge to run to the house and barricade herself in her room to hide from her past.

“I heard you have the best corn,” the woman said.

“Really?” Tena forced her lips to curve into a smile as she pointed to the display of corn ears. “Please help yourself.”

“Great.” The woman rubbed her hands together. “Do you have any bags?”

Ya.” Clara pulled out a handful from under the counter. “We have a box too.”

Ten minutes later, the Englishers left with a box full of vegetables.

“I think that was our best sale since we opened.” Clara put the cash in the money box.

Ya.” Tena looked toward her great-aunt’s rock driveway and let out a sigh of relief when she spotted Mandy coming toward the stand. She was ready to get back to the house—away from the Englishers who visited the stand and everything they represented to her.

“Hi!” Mandy waved. “I’m here to relieve one of you.”

“You can go,” Clara told Tena. “I’m not ready to do more chores yet.”

“Oh, come, Clara.” Mandy bumped Clara with her shoulder. “Don’t you just love stooping over and weeding?”

“I got my fill of weeding this morning.” Clara looked down at the cat. “I’d rather stand here and rub Hank’s chin for a while longer.”

“I think he’ll enjoy that.” Tena started toward the driveway. “I’ll see you two later.”

When she reached the top of the driveway, she looked toward the barn. Wayne, Ephraim, Chris, Jerry, and Alex were all hard at work giving it a fresh coat of red paint. Wayne waved at her from atop a ladder, and she waved back.

As she walked toward the house, her thoughts turned to Wayne. He was handsome, kind, thoughtful, and generous. If she were ready to date again, she’d be blessed to have the chance to get to know him even better. But after what Lewis had done, she couldn’t risk her heart.

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Wayne sat in Emma’s glider later that evening and breathed in the cool early evening air. In the distance, the sun was beginning to set, coloring the sky with gorgeous hues of red.

“Would you like some iced tea?” Tena sat down beside him and handed him a glass.

Danki.” He took a sip and smiled at her. “It’s appeditlich.”

This was his favorite time of the evening. All their friends had gone home, and he and Tena could sit on the porch together and talk—alone. Tonight, he’d decided, he would finally work up the courage to ask her to date him! Surely he’d waited long enough. She seemed to have forgiven his role in inviting Alex into her life.

“I’m glad you like it.” She turned toward the barn. “You got a lot done on the barn today. It looks great.”

Danki.” He looked up at the sky and then back at her. “Your hair reminds me of the sunset.”

“What?” Her chestnut-brown eyes widened as she gaped.

“Your hair.” He pointed to the sky. “It reminds me of a gorgeous fall sunset.”

She stared at him.

“What?” He laughed. “Why are you so stunned? No one has ever told you that?”

She slowly shook her head.

He set the glass on the porch floor and angled his body toward her. “Your hair is lovely, Tena. I can’t believe no one has ever told you that.”

“No, no one has.” She shook her head and frowned. He was almost certain he spotted tears in her beautiful eyes.

Was iss letz?” he asked as alarm shot through him. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, it’s not you.” She took a deep breath. “I saw someone today who reminded me of her, and it brought it all back.” She pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped her nose.

“I’m sorry, Tena, but I’m confused. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m not sure who Aenti Emma might have told. I was engaged last year. In fact, I was supposed to be married next month. Lewis and I had it all planned. We were going to live with his parents and eventually build a little haus on his dat’s dairy farm.” She ran a finger around the rim of her glass. “Everything was perfect, or so I thought. One day I wanted to surprise him. I’d made his favorite kind of pie because it was exactly six months to the day before we were going to be married.”

She paused and took a deep breath, her gaze still trained on her glass. “At first, I couldn’t find him out in his barn, where he usually was that time of day. And his dat wasn’t anywhere nearby. I saw a flashy little sports car in the driveway, but I thought maybe a customer had come to buy a quilt from his mamm.

“When I heard voices behind the barn, I walked back there and found him kissing a woman. She was an Englisher with long blond hair and fancy clothes. I gasped and dropped the pie, and Lewis ran over to me. He apologized and said he was going to tell me soon. He also said this woman, this Kendra, was his true love, and he was going to leave the church for her. I was crushed.”

She looked up at him, and the pain in her eyes nearly broke Wayne apart.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice sounding thin to his own ears.

“I felt so stupid. I hadn’t seen the signs there all along. He’d been withdrawing from me, distant. He hadn’t told me he loved me in more than a month. I would say I loved him, but he’d just nod or say, ‘Me too.’ He told me he’d met her a few weeks earlier at a restaurant, and that he was going to leave the church and move in with her. She already had an apartment and a job lined up for him. I keep wondering what she had that I didn’t. Why wasn’t I gut enough?” Her voice cracked, and her tears broke free, streaming down her pink cheeks.

“Tena.” Wayne pulled her against his side and took her hand. He was grateful she didn’t pull away. “Lewis is the one who made the mistake. There’s nothing wrong with you. He was misguided, and he didn’t realize he already had the most amazing maedel he could have ever hoped to find. You’re better off without him.”

“That’s what mei mamm said.” She sat up straight and wiped her eyes and nose with another tissue. “But it still hurts, especially when I see someone who reminds me of Lewis or Kendra. When I saw that woman at the stand today, it was like reliving that horrible day. I came to Bird-in-Hand so I could forget it all and put it behind me, but it still hurts.”

“Tena, you don’t need Lewis. He didn’t deserve you.” Wayne longed to take away her pain, to help her forget. He had to tell her how he felt about her. He took a deep breath and took her other hand as well. “In fact, I care about you. When I first saw you, I felt something stir deep in my soul. You’re the most beautiful maedel I’ve ever seen, and you’re also a wunderbaar freind.”

He traced his finger down her cheek, and she shivered as her eyes went wide. “I love everything about you—your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor. I want to get to know you better and see where this relationship could lead. And I would be honored to date you.”

“Wayne, I-I’m not ready,” she stammered as she pulled away and stood. “I can’t do this. I’m still working through everything Lewis did to me. I can’t even think of dating right now.”

“Okay.” He shifted to the far end of the glider as disappointment gripped him. His cheeks burned with embarrassment, and he rubbed at the back of his neck. “I understand. I never meant to pressure you. I’m fine with just being your freind if that’s what you need.”

She bit her lower lip and studied him, and then she sank back down on the glider. He longed to read her thoughts. Had he completely misread her feelings for him?

He swallowed a groan. How could he have been so blind as to assume she cared for him the same way he cared for her?

“You know I’m not going to stay here past Thanksgiving.” She turned toward him. “You’re wasting your emotions on me.”

“No, I’m not,” he said. “You’re important to me.”

She shook her head and looked down at the porch floor.

“Tena, please look at me.”

She looked up at him and sniffed.

“Don’t give up on yourself because of Lewis. He made the mistake, and you did nothing wrong.”

“Let’s talk about something else, okay?” She gave him a watery smile.

“Okay.” He looked toward the barn. “A few folks have told me they’re froh with Alex’s work. He’s done a great job in the garden, and he’s really gut at keeping up with the maintenance around the haus. Emma told me he fixed that one window in the schtupp that kept going off the track.”

Tena’s spine went ramrod straight at the mention of Alex’s name. Wayne was still befuddled by her feelings toward the man. He needed to know why she was so afraid of him.

“You’re still disturbed by Alex being here. Did he do something to upset you?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I just don’t feel comfortable around Englishers. I’ve told you that.”

He opened his mouth to defend the man, or at least ask her what it was about Englishers that prompted such as reaction. Surely it was more than her fiancé leaving her for an English woman. But he didn’t want to argue with her after she’d finally bared her soul to him. They would discuss this further some other time. He took a long drink from his glass and then stood.

“I should get going.” He held up his glass, and she took it. “No church tomorrow, but I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay. Have a safe trip home.”

Gut nacht. Sleep well.” As he walked to his buggy, he prayed Tena would someday see the good in Alex—and open her heart despite what happened with Lewis.

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Tena stood on the porch and watched Wayne lope down the rock path to his waiting horse and buggy. Confusion swirled through her mind and exhaustion through her body as she recalled their emotional conversation. She’d finally poured out her heart to him, and he’d listened and been supportive. And then he told her he cared about her. He even mentioned what he loved about her.

Did Wayne truly believe they could have a future?

Was that what she wanted?

She shook herself from her thoughts and carried the lantern and glasses into the kitchen. After washing the glasses and setting them in the drying rack, she locked the back door and walked into the family room. Aenti Emma sat in her favorite chair, reading a magazine. Hank sat beside her in Onkel Henry’s favorite wing chair.

“Are you comfortable, Hank?” Tena asked with a laugh.

The cat simply lifted his head, blinked at her, and then snuggled deeper into the worn and faded blue fabric.

Aenti Emma set her magazine on the end table beside her. “Did you have a nice visit with Wayne?”

Ya.” Tena sat down on the rocking chair across from her and set the lantern on the floor at her feet. “He told me he cares about me.”

Aenti Emma smiled. “That’s so nice. I had a feeling he did.”

Tears filled Tena’s eyes once again.

Was iss letz, mei liewe?Aenti Emma leaned forward and touched Tena’s hand.

“I’m just so confused. How will I know when I’m ready to date again?”

“Well, I think you’ll know when it feels right. If God puts that desire in your heart, you should give it a chance to grow and flourish, like our fruits of fall outside. You’ve seen how schee our pumpkins are? And the apples from my trees? God did that, just like he gives us relationships that grow with the seasons.”

Tena sighed. “I just don’t know what to do. I like Wayne. He’s kind and listens to me, but I’m afraid of getting hurt again. I’m too scared to share my heart with anyone after what Lewis did to me. Also, I told my parents I’d be back before Christmas, and I don’t want to wear out my welcome with you.”

Aenti Emma clicked her tongue. “You can’t let what Lewis did to you affect the rest of your life. Wayne is nothing like Lewis, and I believe he truly cares for you. When you’re ready, you should give him a chance.”

Tena nodded, but doubt continued to nip at her.

“And you’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” Aenti Emma said. “I love having you here. If you decide you want to stay permanently, I think your parents would understand. And they’re welcome to come visit you.” She pointed to the stairs. “You and I can clean out that second bedroom, and I’ll get a double bed and a couple of dressers. We can make that another guest room for them.”

Tena nodded, but it sounded too good to be true. Could she find true love with Wayne? But how could she just pick up her life and move to Bird-in-Hand when her parents and friends were back home in Indiana?

“I think I’m going to go to bed.” Tena lifted the lantern and stood.

“Sleep well, mei liewe,” Aenti Emma called after her.

“You too.” Hank rushed past her on the stairs, and then he waited for her at the top.

“Do you think I should give Wayne a chance?” she asked the cat as they walked down the hall.

Hank jumped up on her bed once they were in her room and blinked his eyes at her.

“Is that a yes or a no?” Tena left him long enough to brush her teeth, and then she changed into her nightgown before climbing into bed. Hank took his usual spot, curled up at her feet.

Tena stared at the ceiling and considered her great-aunt’s offer. Could she move to Bird-in-Hand?

But was she ready to risk her heart with Wayne? She wanted to trust him, but how would she survive another breakup when her soul was already so fragile?