Guilt and disappointment bogged Wayne’s steps as he made his way toward where Alex was working near the garden. He was exhausted after not sleeping more than an hour or so last night.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the pain etched on Tena’s face when he’d said he was disappointed in her. He’d hoped they could have a future, but he couldn’t spend the rest of his life with someone as selfish and cold as she had been toward Alex.
Still, it hurt to the depth of his soul to have to push her away and abandon his dreams. It was as if he’d broken up with her even though they’d never dated, and his heart felt as though it had cracked down the middle.
“Wayne.” Alex turned from raking leaves. “Are you all right? You look like you had a rough night.”
“You could say that.” Wayne lifted his straw hat and pushed his hand through his thick hair. “I was wondering if we could talk.”
“Of course.” Alex dropped the rake and wiped his hands down his jeans. “What’s on your mind?”
“I proposed an idea to the group last night, and they all agreed. We’d like to help you get set up in an apartment and find a better job, maybe in a nursery. That way you can get on your feet—have a place of your own and a steady income.”
Alex gaped. “Are you serious?”
“Ya. What do you say?”
Alex clamped his hand over his chest. “I don’t know what to say. This is an answered prayer, a dream come true. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Wayne nodded toward his buggy. “I picked up a newspaper on my way over here so we could look for furnished apartments. We can’t afford anything fancy, but we can at least get you something decent.”
“I don’t need fancy. I just want a place to call my own.”
“That’s what we’d like to find for you.” Wayne nodded toward the buggy. “I’ll go get the newspaper. Why don’t you take a break, and we’ll go through the ads.”
“Great. Thank you, Wayne.”
“You’re welcome.”
When he thought he felt someone watching him as he headed to his buggy, he looked up toward the porch, and his gaze tangled with Tena’s. Even from this distance he could tell she had dark circles under her eyes. Maybe she hadn’t slept much either. An ache opened in his chest and spread through him. While he longed to apologize to her, his head told him to keep walking.
Wayne turned away from her, and as his feet picked up their pace, his ache deepened with each step.
“I have an announcement to make,” Clara said as they all sat around Emma’s table the following Sunday afternoon. “I talked to mei onkel, and I told him how hard Alex works here in the garden. I told him he loves the work and he’s also a great handyman.” Her face lit up. “Mei onkel wants to interview Alex for a job.”
Everyone clapped.
Tena smiled. She was grateful to hear Alex had the possibility of a job. Though it had taken some courage and much prayer, throughout the week she’d made new efforts to talk to him. Slowly, she realized he truly was a good man. God showed her she’d avoided and misjudged him because of the fear of Englishers she developed after her brother’s attack, and because of her resentment toward Kendra Ramsey.
She’d asked God to heal her heart the day Wayne proposed they help Alex with an apartment. But she hadn’t been willing to really let go. Now, with God’s help, she’d realized she could love and trust Englishers just as she loved and trusted those who were Amish. She didn’t need to fear them.
She glanced across the table at Wayne. He met her gaze but then quickly looked away. Her smile fell. She’d tried to talk to Wayne the day before, but he’d found a way to dismiss her. Sorrow squeezed at her heart. How she wanted to tell him she’d changed.
She missed him. She missed their special friendship, but she’d ruined it all with her selfishness.
“That’s wunderbaar,” Jerry said.
“I know.” Clara picked up her glass of water.
“We have an announcement too,” Ephraim said as he looked at Mandy.
Mandy blushed and looked down at the table. Ephraim leaned over and whispered something in her ear, and she nodded.
“What is it?” Katie Ann asked, her smile growing.
Did Katie Ann know what their announcement was?
“Mandy and I are getting married in December,” Ephraim said, and Mandy’s face seemed to glow.
While everyone applauded, Tena looked at Wayne again. He met her gaze, but this time he held it. What looked like sadness and regret filled his eyes. She stared at him, and her pulse thumped as tears welled. She longed to be a part of his life. In fact, she loved him. She loved him with her whole heart, and she missed him so much that she felt as if a hole had been punched in her chest.
For a moment she couldn’t breathe, and her anguish felt as if it might smother her. She couldn’t give up on him! She had to apologize. She had to convince him to give her another chance.
Wayne looked away, and the loss of the connection knocked Tena off balance for a moment.
“Did I hear someone is engaged?” Aenti Emma appeared in the doorway.
“Ya, we are.” Mandy pointed to Ephraim.
“What fantastic news!” Aenti Emma exclaimed. “I’m so froh for you both!”
“Come and join us for supper, Emma.” Biena gestured for Aenti Emma to sit beside her.
When Tena heard a chair scrape across the floor, she looked up to see Wayne heading out of the kitchen toward the mudroom. Alarm gripped her as she heard the back door open and close.
No, no, no! This can’t be over!
She jumped up and raced out the back door without grabbing her coat. A wall of coldness slammed into her as her feet hit the back porch. She reached the railing just as Wayne started down the path toward his horse and buggy.
“Wait!” she called after him. “Wayne, please! Wait!”
He spun to face her, his handsome face twisted into a deep frown.
She flew down the steps and caught up to him, shivering as the chilly air seeped through her dress. “I’m sorry. I was wrong, I was selfish, and I was hateful. Please forgive me.”
His frown relaxed slightly as he stared down at her.
“You–you were right about Alex. I was so wrapped up in my resentment toward Englishers that I didn’t realize I had let it change me and turn me into someone I don’t want to be.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but she drew a deep breath and took the plunge she’d been fighting. “There’s something I never told you. Two years ago, my older bruder, Micah, was walking down the street in town when an Englisher high on drugs beat him with a baseball bat. He almost died. He spent months in the hospital and rehab, first fighting for his life and then to recover.”
Wayne gasped as his eyes searched hers. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I should have. But talking about it has always been so painful.” She gestured toward the barn. “I was distrustful of Alex because of what happened to Micah, and I was wrong. Alex is a child of God, and he does deserve our help. We’re called to be helpers, and it’s our duty to do what we can for people like him. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner that I was being so sinful and hateful, so closed to the truth, so unwilling to let go.”
She took another deep breath. “But I know one thing for certain. Losing your friendship is my greatest fear. The idea of not having you in my life scares me to death. I miss you. And I would do anything to convince you to give me another chance.”
She closed the distance between them and reached up, cupping her hand to his cheek. “I love you with my whole heart, Wayne. I want to stay here in Bird-in-Hand. I want us to date, and I hope someday we’ll marry and build a life together. I want to see what God has in store for us. So, please, Wayne, please forgive me.”
A strangled noise escaped his throat, and his blue eyes glistened. “I thought I’d never hear you say that.”
His placed his lips on hers, sending an electric heat roaring from her toes to her cheeks. She closed her eyes and then felt herself relax. He wrapped his arms around her, and she lost herself in the feel of his touch. She felt safe, protected, and cherished. This was what true love felt like.
“Ich liebe dich,” he whispered against her ear. “I would be honored to be your boyfriend.”
Tena smiled as she looked up at him. “You’ll have to ask mei dat, but I’m pretty sure he’ll say yes. Aenti Emma will tell him what a wunderbaar man you are.”
Wayne laughed and trailed the tip of his finger down her cheek.
Tena and Wayne sat on the glider on Aenti Emma’s back porch with a quilt wrapped around their shoulders, sipping hot chocolate.
Tena smiled as she looked up at the stars twinkling in the sky above them. It had been a wonderful afternoon. After their talk outside, they’d joined their friends for Aenti Emma’s amazing chili, and everyone seemed thrilled to see they’d repaired their friendship. Alex was there, too, and he had a smile on his face when he caught her eye.
Now she and Wayne were enjoying quiet time alone.
“This is the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had,” Wayne said as he cradled his mug in his hands and looked into her eyes. “You’ve truly spoiled me with your expertise. I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy anyone’s cooking as much as I enjoy yours.”
Tena giggled as she bumped her shoulder against his. “You’re just saying that so I’ll keep cooking and baking for you—especially anything with peanut butter.”
“Ya, that sounds gut.” He smiled down at her and then sighed. “I love sitting out here, but pretty soon it will be way too cold.”
“We’ll just have to visit in the schtupp, then. We’ll be nice and warm in there.”
“When are you going to call your parents?”
“Tomorrow night. I don’t want to wait, do you?”
Wayne shook his head, and her stomach fluttered at the thought of telling Mamm and Dat she wanted to stay in Bird-in-Hand. “Why don’t you come over for supper? Then we can call them together, and you can ask mei dat’s permission to date me after I explain everything to them. After all, you’re the main reason I want to stay here with Aenti Emma.”
He took her mug and set it and his on a nearby table. Then he turned and brushed his lips against hers, sending her emotions into a wild swirl. “I love you, Tena.”
“I love you too.”
She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled. She’d allowed fear to shut out the truth for too long, but she was so grateful God had taught her to trust again.
And now? Now she looked forward to seeing her love for Wayne and his love for her grow like the crops in Henry’s garden, nourishing them both with a lifetime of happy memories.