"Mr. Waldo, can you come with us please."
"Oh no. What are you going to do with him? Leave him alone. Hasn't he suffered enough?"
"Now, Demetria. Settle down. I'll be fine. They just want a little chat, I guess. Isn't that right boys?"
They took him out to the kitchen and sat him down.
"We've got a problem, Waldo."
"A big one."
"What's up?"
"They grabbed one of our men, the Thai army."
"Now that's too bad. What do you think they'll do to him?"
"They'll torture him. Make him tell 'em where we are."
"You think he'll talk?"
The boys thought about it.
"I would."
"Me too."
"And me."
"Then we need to rethink. You guys been getting much publicity?"
"It's all over the news. Radio. TV. Here and overseas. It's been huge ever since you died."
"OK. Then if the Thai soldiers rescue us, you'll be the bad guys. What say you let us go? Before they mess your boy up too bad."
"But, what about the money?"
"You could pretend the money wasn't never what you was doing this for. You'd score more points. Make a lot of friends. And you already got money for the interview, right?"
They yakked about it in Thai. Waldo helped himself to a cup of tea.
"What happens to our friend after you get back?"
"Leave it to me. I got an idea."
See what I mean? Waldo was at his best when he was lining up plans like he was racking up balls. He was a natural organizer. The commy boys let him and Demetria go just as soon as he'd finished his tea. They put 'em in the truck and drove 'em back into town.
-o-
"You're a very brave man, Waldo." Waldo blushed. Even in the dark shadows at the back of the car, he could tell his cheeks was purple.
"No, I ain't."
"Yes, you are. I understand exactly what you've been doing here."
"You do?"
"Course I do."
"Shoot."
"I know you must be every bit as concerned as me, but you've been putting on this brave face to protect me. To stop me worrying. I think that's so noble, Waldo."
They was sitting side by side and he could feel her warm hip against his. She leaned in towards him. "You know what these bastard commies are capable of just as well as I do. We've all heard of the atrocities. And you know that you and I are being driven into the valley of death this very minute."
"Demetria. We ain't …"
She put a finger up to his big lips.
"No. Enough. Waldo, I love what you've done. I admire you. I know my dear husband would've done the same."
"I "
"I'm going to kiss you, Waldo."
"That ain't necessary, De …"
"Don't say any more. I know." She sobbed a pair of well-spaced sobs. "I know this is the end. I want the last memory I have to be the taste, the warmth, the strength of a man I respect."
Now, Waldo knew this was kind of the over-sixties version of the, 'What would you do if you knew the end of the world was coming in half an hour?' scenario. He should of told her the truth right then, but for some reason, he kept his trap shut. Well, no that ain't exactly true.
She threw her mouth at his. It weren't one of them platonic, cheek kisses neither. It was a tonguie. Waldo hadn't had no one else's tongue in his mouth for fifteen years. It felt kinda crowded in there. Thing was, he didn't exactly fight her off. Thing was, he kinda liked it.
The guys in the front seats witnessed what was going on in the back. It turned their stomachs some. In their culture, old folks didn't do that kinda thing in public. Hell, in their culture even young folks didn't.
They was rescued from further embarrassment 'cause the dim lights of Mukdahan city limits appeared up ahead and they both shouted,
"Look at the dim lights of Mukdahan." But whatever was going on in the back seat didn't stop right away.
-o-
Demetria believed she was on her way to purgatory right up to the moment they dropped her and Waldo out back of the hotel. The first thing she saw when they took off her blindfold, was a stack of beer crates and she knew they sure as hell wouldn’t be serving no beer in purgatory.
"Oh, Lord. We're safe." She sank to her knees and thanked each and every department in heaven.
Waldo said goodbye to the boys and they told him they'd miss him. They give him a souvenir frog on a stick. The stick went up through the frog's rear end and out its mouth. If you spinned it round the frog made croaking noises. Course it was wood, not a real frog. That would'a been cruel.
-o-
For a day, Waldo and Demetria was bigger than Nixon and Kissenger. They got interviewed a billion times. There wasn't no explaining how Waldo managed to claw his way back into the world of the living after his gory and well publicized death. A lot of folks kind of admired the kidnappers for being able to fake it without him knowing.
Waldo come out of it all looking pretty damned good in the world press and the commies didn't do too bad either. It was only in Thailand they suffered. One paper even said Waldo was interfered with, but I bet that would'a pushed the reader's imagination just too far.
-o-
Waldo still had one lose end to tie up. Sisamon called him in to identify the captured commie. He was already pretty beat up. Demetria only ever saw the kidnappers in masks so Waldo was the only eyewitness.
Agent Sisamon made the mistake of inviting a gallery of press to come and view the identification. He had one of them photo opportunities in mind where Waldo's standing pointing at the bad guy and Sisamon looks all modest and handsome in the background. That's what he had in mind.
But naturally, Waldo said he hadn't never seen the kid before. Sisamon's insides dropped.
"But you can't be sure."
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Take another look."
"Son, I could look at him till my eyes drop out but it still wouldn't turn him into a kidnapper."
"Maybe you didn't see all of them."
"Oh, I saw 'em all right. I et with 'em. I played cards with 'em. I sang patriotic songs with 'em. Just to save my life, mind. Less he went out and got a new face, this ain't one of the guys that kidnapped me. I may be dumb but I ain't blind."
Now you probably realize, that was a hell of a big deal for Waldo. He hadn't never lied before. Not deliberate. He shifted across to his left cause he figured if the Lord was gonna strike him down, he didn't wanna give Him a sitting target. But there weren't no bolt from the blue and to tell the truth, he kinda liked the feeling that come with a bare-faced lie. He figured he might even try it again sometime.
All the press guys in the room suddenly had another story for tomorrow's front page. They took pictures of the bruises all over the guy and made sure they got Sisamon's name right. They even got close-ups of him with what looked like tears in his eyes. It was touching really.
The cops didn't have no choice but to let the non-kidnapper go. He kindly refused to make a complaint against 'em. In fact he just wanted to get his ass out of there. There was a look between him and Waldo when he walked out the door of the police station. No one else saw it, but Waldo knew he'd just saved a life. He wondered, up in the Lord's account book, if it made up for the life he'd took. Soul math.
And you're probably wondering about what happened in the hotel that night between Waldo and Demetria. And I guess you're gonna have to keep on wondering, cause I sure ain't gonna write about that kinda thing.