67


So, even though Saifon and Waldo was heroes in Thailand, there probably weren't a soul knew nothing about it stateside. They was in the departure lounge at Don Muang International airport. The news on the TV showed American and South Vietnamese troops invading Cambodia. The botched invasion of Laos hadn't taught 'em much. They was screwing this one up too. Most folks stateside wouldn't be hearing about that neither.

There was body bags lying all around and choppers ferrying wounded. (On the TV. Not at the airport.) Waldo must of been moved by all them bagged dead guys cause he decided that was the time to tell Saifon something he hadn't never told no one else in his life. Not even Aretha. The place was crowded and noisy and sticky but sometimes the moment chooses itself. You got no say in it.

"I took a life once, Saifon."

"Yeah. Right." She didn't believe him but he looked so repentant she couldn't really ignore what he'd said. "Who was it?" He let his eyes swerve off across the terminal.

"Ralph."

"I don't believe you. When?"

"June 3rd. 1955. It was a month after Reet Passed away. You know. I took her death real bad. But Ralph, he couldn't live without her. He didn't eat, couldn't sleep, just let himself fret on after her."

Saifon couldn't understand how she could of known Waldo all this time without this Ralph character coming up in conversation. Something just didn't hang right.

"You never told me about Ralph."

"I never told no one. Shooting Ralph ain't something I'm proud of."

"You shot him?"

"In the head."

"Jees, Waldo. How old was he?"

"Dunno. Must of been about twenty I guess."

"Jees."

"He'd been with us most of his life."

"Living with you and Reet?"

"Yeah. He was unbreakable, you know? He fell out of windows, got run over by cars. He even had his foot sliced off by a goods train."

"I see. Now, Waldo, this ain't a person we're talking about here is it?"

"Of course not. Hell. What do you think I am? Ralph was Reet's cat."

"You shot a frigging cat?" She laughed.

"He weren't just a cat, Saifon. Aretha used to say he was an angel been sent down from heaven to watch over us. And I reckon that was true, cause when Reet took off, Ralph's soul left on the same flight. There was just his body left on the sofa.

"I watched it get skinnier and skinnier and it just killed me. I took my old revolver out the closet. I carried what was left of Ralph up to the quarry and I blew his little brains out."

"Then I don't see a problem. You were being kind, that's all."

Waldo had come over pale. He was drained as a goat in a meat shop.

"No. There's a problem. Oh boy there is. I ain't never been able to tell Aretha what I did to her cat."

"Waldo. She'd understand."

"I don't think so. You see? It's worse than just the …the killing."

"What can be worse than killing it?"

Waldo looked around at all the folks desperate to get out of Bangkok. He lowered his voice.

"Saifon. I hated that goddamned cat. I hated it from the first day she bought the scrawny runt home and started feeding it up."

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"I couldn't. She loved the son of a bitch. I knew it was like a child to her. I tried to like it. Really I did. But it knew I didn't like it. It knew, and it didn't like me back. When Reet was around it'd be all sweet and loving and stuff. Then, soon as she went out, the little vermin would hiss and spit at me and pee all over the place. Every time it left I wished a pack of rabid dogs would get it.

"So, you see? I wished it dead for most of it s life. Then as soon as Reet wasn't around no more, I made it dead."

"Waldo. You killed it cause it was fretting."

"On the outside, yeah. That's what I thought I was doing. I thought I was putting him out of his misery. But deep down, I was putting him out of my misery. I read all about it. It's called 'psychological'. That means your body does something your head tells you to, and you ain't got no say in it. Now, how in tarnation can I tell Reet that?"

"You old assassin, you."

"It ain't a joke, girl. I was so filled with remorse and prodded by the firey finger of the Lord, I didn't know what to do. His lifeless body looked like one of them fur collars. I took the bus up to Lake Michigan late at night and threw the goddamned gun in the lake.

It was after that I went in search of the Lord to beg for redemption."

"Over a frigging cat?"

"I told you, Saifon. In Reet's eyes it was like our fluffy, four-legged baby.It was like I'd blown our baby's brains out. Aretha was already suffering from being dead. I didn't want to make it worse for her."

"Being?"

"Dead AND mourning."

"So you been doing the mourning for her. All this churchgoing and talking to the Lord."

"I guess."

"You gotta tell Aretha."

"No. I can't."

"You told me didn't you?"

"That's different. You're my girl."

"That's just it. How long I been your girl and how long's Aretha been your wife? You owe her."

"You reckon?"

"Damned right I do."

"Jee."

Waldo sat and considered it for a long while. Saifon didn't want to interrupt his considering so they just sat quiet till the woman announced their flight was ready to board. Everyone stood up and got in a long queue 'cept for Saifon and Waldo. Even when the queue was down to a little waggly tail they was still stayed sitting. Waldo looked at the people with one eye and the TV screen with the other eye. At last he asked,

"Saifon."

"Yeah, I know." She reached for her bag.

"Why we going back?"

"What?"

"Why we going back to the States?"

"Why?"

"Yeah. What do we have to go back there for?" She thought some.

"I don't know."

"Me neither."

"You wanna go back to Laos?"

"Do you?"

"I guess I could."

"Me too."