Jade’s Diary
April 25
Why does he do this to me? I should never have opened the door. I shouldn’t have let him in.
He acts like he cares so much. Like he’s a good guy. He touches my arm. He holds me. He looks me in the eye and he’s all like, “Jade. Please.”
“Let me help.”
“Don’t worry.”
Or my favorite: “We’ll figure this out.”
We’ll—like we’re a couple. Like we’re in this together.
And I believe him! I’m finally feeling okay, like this nightmare has finally ended. I get up from my nap. Have a shower. Wash my hair. Clean the living room. Get dinner ready—homemade spaghetti, just the way he likes it.
He walks in the door carrying Gavin. They both have rosy cheeks and smell of outside. He says, “I bought Gavin a banana. I hope that’s okay. I checked the migraine list before I left, and I didn’t think it was one of the triggers.”
“No, no,” I say. “That’s fine. I just hope it doesn’t ruin his appetite. You guys must be starved.”
He looks at me, and he looks at the table. I’ve got it set with three places and even a candle in the middle. He looks back at me, and it’s like I just know what he’s going to say.
“Oh, um, Jade. I’d really like to stay, but I promised Dalma…”
Everything goes blank after that. A week before the spring dance, he has the nerve to say to me, “I promised Dalma.” It was like he stuck a knife in my eye. That’s what it felt like.
“Fine,” I say. I smile because there’s no way I’m going to let him know he hurt me, but clearly this has upset Gavin. He wanted Mick to stay too. “You’d better go,” I say. “Thank you for your help.”
“Don’t be like that,” he says.
Me! Like I’m the one doing it.
Gavin starts to cry. I stand in front of him and turn to Mick. “Please don’t help us again. You’re the one making him so sick. You know that, don’t you?”