Eight

Mrs. Lindsay dropped Magdalene off at the bottom of the hill, and she wound her way up the trail to Gabrielle’s cottage. She hadn’t spoken to Chandler again before she left for the city. Her request for the day away made him annoyed. Would she never understand him?

He hadn’t come in for breakfast, saying he had to finish all his outdoor chores before she and Mrs. Lindsay left for the day. Then he’d stay inside with the children. He hadn’t come in until moments before they left, and seeing him brought fresh pain to her heart. How could they marry when she knew how deeply her feelings ran and how shallow his were?

Climbing the steps to Gabby’s door, Magdalene thought of how often she’d dreamed of marrying a man like Nathaniel and living in a cozy cottage like this one. She knocked once and opened the door. “Gab, it’s me.”

“Mag!” Gabrielle rushed to her and embraced her in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you! I have news. Do you have news?” Gabrielle’s sky blue eyes twinkled.

“You first,” Magdalene encouraged, wondering how she might know there was news. Of course it wasn’t every day she just dropped in for a visit.

Taking hold of Magdalene’s hand, Gabrielle placed it on her tummy. “Number five!” Her face glowed.

“You’re with child?”

Gabrielle nodded, and both sisters screamed and jumped up and down.

“What in the world?” Nathaniel entered the room carrying the twins, one on each hip. “Magdalene, she told you our news?”

“Yes, and I’m thrilled.” She lifted her hands and the twins lunged toward her. Laughing, she hugged both little girls close, carrying them to the rocker near the fireplace. “Auntie Maggie loves her girls,” she said, kissing first Faith and then Grace’s chubby cheeks. As soon as she sat down, both girls scooted to the floor, toddling back to Nathaniel’s waiting arms. A picture of her and Chandler sharing a bundle of their own came to her mind, and with the thought, a piercing sorrow because he didn’t truly love her.

“Honey, I’ll take the children for a walk so you and Magdalene can visit in peace.” A knowing look passed between the couple.

“Let’s go in the kitchen. I’ll brew some tea, and you can share your news.”

Magdalene followed Gabrielle into the bright yellow, very homey kitchen. Taking a seat at the table, she asked, “What makes you so certain I have news?”

“Nothing.” Gabrielle took two teacups from the cupboard, giving Magdalene a knowing grin.

“Gabby!”

“Oh, all right. I never could keep anything from you.” She joined Magdalene at the table. “Your nosey sister and brother-in-law are dying to know why Chandler came by late last evening to speak to Father.”

Magdalene sighed. “He asked for my hand.”

“And my, but aren’t you overjoyed by the prospect. Were you two courting?”

Shaking her head, Magdalene updated her sister on all that had transpired since Thanksgiving.

“Wow, in less than a week? No wonder you look exhausted.”

“I am. I’m not sleeping well, if at all.”

The teakettle steamed, and Gabrielle finished the preparations. “You picked your way through all the facts of the story, but never mentioned feelings. Tell me what you’re thinking and how you feel about Chandler Alexandre.” Gabrielle studied her for a moment when she returned to the table. “You love him, don’t you?”

“Very much, and he loves the children.”

Gabrielle squeezed Magdalene’s hand. “Love can grow over time. Think of Mother and Father—their arranged marriage blossomed and flourished. Just like you, Mother actually loved him before the ceremony.”

Magdalene strode to the window. “I yearn for what you have.” She turned to face her sister. “A man who loves me so much, he can’t bear the thought of living without me. If only I were beautiful like you, then I know he’d love me.” Gabrielle’s pale blond hair and clear blue eyes had turned men’s heads for longer than Magdalene could remember.

Gabrielle hugged her close. After a few moments, they both sat back down. “Magdalene, beauty isn’t everything and certainly doesn’t guarantee happiness or success. All my life, I never knew if anybody liked me for myself, especially the boys who called on me. Often, courting a beautiful woman feeds a man’s pride.

“And let’s face the facts, you’re a much nicer person than I was back then. I’d gotten into the habit of using my looks to get what I wanted, and my appearance almost cost me Nathaniel.”

“What do you mean?” Magdalene had a hard time believing beauty could be detrimental to a relationship.

“He’d vowed to avoid beautiful women because they were much too selfish and self-centered. He saw me as an empty-headed, vain woman, and if God hadn’t gotten hold of my heart and changed me, Nathaniel Morgan would never have married me.

“And speaking of God, He created you, Magdalene. He knit you together exactly how He wanted you. He chose every detail to make you uniquely you, and He loves you so much, He’s counted every hair on your head. So what if every man doesn’t fall at your feet? The God of the universe is enthralled with you. You’re His bride, and one day your Prince will come riding a white horse to take you and each one of us home with Him to heaven, just as His Word promises in Revelation.”

Gabrielle’s wisdom touched a broken place in Magdalene’s heart and brought hope. She was a treasure to God. A warmth flooded her soul.

“I learned those truths the hard way.” A humble, grateful smile lit Gabrielle’s face. “Just like you, I thought what I saw in the mirror determined my worth, but God looks at the heart. My value comes from Him, not this face of mine. Now with that settled,” Gabrielle said as she hugged her sister, “are you going to marry Chandler?”

“I’ve prayed, and I’m just not sure it’s the right thing to do.”

“You’ve prayed for years for a husband and family. Now a godly man—whom you happen to love—is inviting you to be his wife. You must consider the possibility that God is answering your prayer. Nathaniel says God’s answers rarely come in the form of our expectations.”

She hadn’t taken into account the likelihood of Chandler’s proposal being heaven sent.

“Let’s consider the whole picture,” Gabrielle continued. “I assume you and Chandler have been praying for the orphanage and children?”

Magdalene nodded.

“If Chandler marries you, the problem of losing the orphanage is solved, and your long-time prayer is answered. The circumstances all point in one direction.

“Nathaniel taught me to discern God’s will in three ways. You look to the Bible and make certain everything lines up with His Word. Marrying Chandler doesn’t go against Scripture as long as you honor the marriage covenant and follow the guidelines set for wives.”

“Of course. If I marry him, I’ll be the best wife I can be.” Then maybe he’ll love me.

“The second is prayer. You’ve both prayed, and getting married certainly provides answers to several prayers. Another thing to weigh is circumstances, and all the circumstances point toward marriage as the answer.”

“What choice do I have, anyway? If not for my letter to the paper, Chandler may have found other means to support the orphanage. I ruined all possibility of that. It’s the only way I can rectify my mistake.”

“And you love him. I really believe this is God’s provision for both of you.”

Gabrielle—always so sure of everything in life. Magdalene, on the other hand, rarely felt sure of anything. She rose and sauntered the length of the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she declared, “I’m going to say yes.” Then in a choked whisper, “Pray he’ll grow to love me.” But inside she had no faith in that happening. How could he ever love someone like her?

“I will.” Gabrielle squeezed her hand “You’re a wonderful person, Magdalene. When Chandler gets to know you better, he won’t be able to keep himself from loving you.”

Oh, how Magdalene wished she could believe Gabrielle’s words. “I think I’ll walk over to tell Mother and Father. Will you join me?”

“I need to stay here and start dinner. Nathaniel and the children should be back soon, and they’ll be ready to eat.”

After bidding her sister good-bye, Magdalene headed down the well-used path to her parents’ cottage. Her mother, father, and Isabel were just starting to eat their noon meal and asked her to join them. After taking helpings of roast, potatoes, turnips, and cornbread, Magdalene mentally prepared to make her announcement.

“Father, I understand Chandler paid you a visit last evening.”

Her father nodded, studying her face as if searching for answers.

Magdalene sent him a tiny smile. Not wanting the whole world to know Chandler didn’t love her and this marriage was only for money, she tried to sound excited. “Well then, I have an announcement to make.” She plastered a large smile on her face. “Chandler Alexandre and I are to be married.”

“Wonderful, Dear!” Her mother’s sincere smile held no surprise, but of course Father would have told her about Chandler’s visit last night.

Isabel glared at her. “You know I’m in love with him! How could you do this to me?”

“Well, he loves me!” Magdalene cringed as the lie poured from her mouth. “And I love him!” At least that part was true.

“You didn’t love him last week. You’re only doing this because I set my hat for him.”

“I did love him last week. I just don’t discuss my private business with everyone.”

“So, you let me make a fool of myself?”

“Girls, enough arguing!” their father reprimanded. “When’s the big day?”

“We haven’t decided for sure. Probably Friday.”

Her mother choked on her food. “The day after tomorrow? Magdalene, why the rush? Don’t you want to give me time to plan a small family wedding?”

“We’ve been waiting a long time.” Another lie, and the second easier to tell than the first. “Why, I think I’ve loved him since the first day I moved to the orphanage. We’re both more than ready.” And they were, but not because of love. Father, forgive my lies. I can’t bear being pitied.

“What about a gown?” Her mother’s disappointment showed.

“I can wear the blue one Isabel sewed for me.”

“I won’t marry in a plain dress like that,” Isabel assured them.

Magdalene ignored her. “I imagine we’ll marry in the afternoon. I’ll let you know, but count on sometime Friday. I’m supposed to meet Mrs. Lindsay at the bottom of the hill at one, so I’d better run. Thank you for the meal, and I’ll send word.” She hugged her family good-bye, thankful there wasn’t more time for talk of weddings, brides, and gowns, finding the subject made it difficult to remain upbeat.

The jolting ride home on the buckboard jarred her nerves. Feeling nothing like an excited bride, she dreaded telling Chandler of her decision. Was it worse to be an old spinster or to marry a man who’d never love her? And what if he’d changed his mind? The thought mortified her, since she’d told her entire family of the upcoming event.

❧

Chandler and the children played croquet on the front lawn. They all ran to the buckboard to greet Magdalene and Mrs. Lindsay when they rolled in. As Chandler lifted Magdalene down, touching her caused unexplainable havoc with his senses. “Why don’t you children help Mrs. Lindsay carry in the goods? Miss Maggie and I need to talk.”

After the children, the supplies, and Mrs. Lindsay disappeared into the orphanage, he led Magdalene to the swing on his porch, where they settled in beside each other. Taking her hand, he tenderly stroked the velvet smoothness of her skin. “I need to apologize for my behavior this morning.”

She nodded, but said nothing.

Swallowing hard, he said, “I want to reassure you—if you agree to marry me, I’d be a good husband, try to be tender with your feelings, and treat you well.” He stood and paced to the other end of the porch, raking his hand through his hair. “Last night, you seemed almost insulted by my proposal.” He walked back toward her.

She stood and faced him. “Shocked, not insulted.”

“In the light of day, I guess getting married seems like a crazy idea.” He took her hands in his.

“Yes—yes, it does.” She raised her chin a fraction. “But in the light of day, I accept your proposal.” She nervously licked her lips.

A giddiness started in the pit of his stomach and rose within him. This meant he could keep the orphanage running. “You’re saying yes?”

At her nod, he grabbed her by the waist and swung her around, his relief huge. “You won’t be sorry, Maggie. I promise you that.” He stood her back on the porch.

After planting a quick kiss on her mouth, he grabbed her hand and dragged her along as he sprinted to the orphanage, where the kids and Mrs. Lindsay were putting away supplies. He rushed through the kitchen door, Magdalene behind him. “We’re getting married,” he shouted. “Miss Maggie and I are getting married!”

The children cheered, and Mrs. Lindsay hugged Magdalene. Both women cried while he and the children danced around the room.

“Uncle Chandler,” Bobby whispered. “Why is Miss Maggie crying? Shouldn’t she be happy?”

Chandler chuckled. “Women cry when they’re happy, cry when they’re sad, and sometimes they cry in between.”

Mrs. Lindsay hugged him. “You have us all figured out, don’t you? You keep her tears to a minimum, understood?”

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do my best.” He hoped he could.

The girls all huddled around Maggie, chattering about dresses and weddings.

“Children, I’m going to borrow Miss Maggie for another few minutes. We have much to talk about. Why don’t you finish the game of croquet without me, and Mrs. Lindsay can prepare our supper without you underfoot.”

All twelve of them made their way out the door, Bobby taking responsibility for Frankie, as he often did. Chandler and Magdalene walked side by side, going nowhere in particular. He stopped and faced her. “Tomorrow? Can we do this tomorrow?”

“Friday. A girl needs at least a day to plan. My mother is already sad she can’t help with a wedding and heartbroken there’ll be no gown.”

❧

Magdalene thought she might drown in those midnight blue eyes of his. He pushed the loose tendrils of hair away from her face, and she shivered at his touch. “I wish we had time to do this right and make all your dreams come true, the wedding, the dress, everything, but we need to get the money as soon as possible.”

The money, always the money. For brief moments, she felt happy, but then he’d remind her why they were doing this. For the money. . .

“This is a great sacrifice for us, Magdalene, but God will bless our efforts. Remember, He said what we do for the least of these, we do for Him.”

She nodded. He considers marrying me a great sacrifice. His words cut deep into her heart. Of course it would be. After all, he could have done much better had he had the time to court another. What if he ended up hating her? This was all her fault. If only she’d never written that dumb letter!

He stared intently. “What are you thinking?”

She looked away, off toward the ocean on the horizon. She gave voice to her fear. “Could this loveless union be our secret?”

“Not loveless, Maggie,” he whispered. His words nearly stopped the beating of her heart, and she liked the way she felt when he called her Maggie.

“Not?” Her gaze returned to his tender expression and hope grew.

He shook his head. “We both love the children with all our hearts.”

Hope crashed. “We do, at that.” She forced a brief smile. “I’d like to speak to our pastor and make certain we aren’t breaking any of God’s laws. I don’t want a union built on sin.” Just fraud and deception.

“The church will be our first stop tomorrow. Then we’ll file the paperwork for the will and invite both families to the ceremony. I thought it best if we did this at the church rather than having a house wedding. Or perhaps here.”

“I’d never considered this place. Let’s decide tomorrow, so both our mothers might have a say.”

“I like the fact you are selfless and caring.”

“As are you.” If only you could love me. . .

He bent to kiss her, and her heart responded with pounding delight. As their lips parted, the expression on his face left her woozy. If this wasn’t love, it might be the next best thing. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, after all.