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I did manage to get in a little more gym time, but Kai's damned bathtub fun time was like a signal to my body reminding me how fucking tired I was. When I finally trudged back to my room, I was more tired than I'd ever been in my life, and things were starting to blur around the edges with that fuzziness that said you'd better find a soft surface to collapse on or risk waking up somewhere awkward.
I opened the door to find Con and Kai waiting for me. They were snuggled up in the middle of my oversized bed, dark heads together as they whispered about something. Part of me surged with joy over the sight of my pride. Another part wept. There was an Oisin-shaped hole. And Hisashi was glaringly absent.
My gryphon side ruffled her feathers, affronted, insisting we make this right.
But my human side was nearly defeated. Here we were, going on as normal, when Oisin was out there somewhere enduring Gods knew what.
"What are you whispering about?" I muttered as I went to the hamper and started stripping.
Con sighed. "Nothing important. How was the workout?"
I slipped on an old tank top and shorts and turned to glare. "Kind of difficult to get into it after the kraken attack."
Kai gave me a smug look as she pulled the sheet up primly under her lace-clad breasts. "I've no idea what you mean, gryphon. I just wanted to help you relax."
Con arched a brow. "Seriously Gesa? Your libido never stops, does it?"
I gaped at him. "Me?"
Kai laughed as I lifted the covers and slipped in beside her. "Gesa's got a thing for penetration."
Con turned red, but he still managed to scoff. "Tell me something I didn't know."
Then he paused. "Wait...are you saying...you know what? Never mind. I don't want to know."
I gave a dark laugh as I switched off the bedside light. "You're right. You don't."
I lay awake for some time, Kai lightly stroking my stomach in soothing circles.
"You could just go get him, you know," Con said around a yawn, snaking an arm around Kai and flopping onto his side to get more comfortable.
I stared up at the ceiling, visible in the dark with my eagle eyes. "Get who?" I said, playing dumb.
Kaimana stopped stroking my abs long enough to jab me in the ribs.
I sighed and rolled away. I didn't need to go get him. He'd come eventually.
Just as my eyelids were growing impossibly heavy, the bedroom door creaked, and a snow-white fox crept into the room. His nine fluffy tails and his ears were lowered, a chastised dog hoping its owner wouldn't hit him again.
I sucked in a breath. "Oh, for fuck's sake, Hisashi, come to bed."
He crept across the floor and hopped up onto the bed without disturbing the mattress at all. The beautiful beast circled three times, then curled up at the foot of the bed with his nose under his fluffy tails. His glowing ice-blue eyes met mine for a brief moment before they closed and he let out a sigh.
I huffed a sigh of my own. He was keeping himself separated from the rest of the pride. This couldn't go on. But damned if I knew how to fix it. He and Oisin might have been keeping secrets from me, but that didn't negate the fact that I had failed to protect them.
Not only was I probably the only female alpha gryphon in history, I was the worst alpha gryphon in the world.
When I finally did manage to sleep, I slept like the dead. I woke to an empty bed and the confused half-memory of some sad dream. But the more I tried to remember the dream, the further it drifted away.
A loud, ringing thump above my head brought me upright. Something clattered against the floor and it took a moment for my dazed brain to realize it must be my punching bag and chain hitting the floor. What the fuck?
I pounded up the stairs to the third level in my shorts and tank top, hackles raised at the crawling, electric feeling of mage magic. They were at it again. In my fucking gym.
I threw the door open and froze in my tracks. Halstad had Hisashi on the ground, one big, blue-veined hand wrapped around the fox's long, white throat. His other hand held a glowing ball of blue lightning. Hisashi's feet tried to get purchase so he could scramble away, but the burly mage held him down. The fox had half-shifted, and wicked claws gouged the mage's arm deeply enough that rivulets bright red blood flowed down his forearm as Hisashi tried to gasp for air.
"What the fuck?" I demanded.
I headed toward them, my wings exploding from my back, ripping through my shirt. This wasn't training. It was fucking murder.
If Halstad heard me, he gave no indication. His eyes were locked on Hisashi's. "Come on, pup. Get up."
Hisashi bared his teeth and growled, but it was cut short as the mage strangled him. I reached for the asshole, ready to tear his head off for touching my mate. But I wasn't fast enough. The mage plunged his hand down, slamming the ball of lightning into Hisashi's stomach.
The fox screamed, rolling away from Halstad's grip and writhing on the floor as lines of blue fire crawled over his bone-white skin.
I roared, talons extending from my hands as I leapt between the two men. That was my fucking mate on the floor. I was going to gut the fucking mage and eat his intestines. I let a full shift take me, screeching and prowling as I prepared to lunge.
"Gesa, no!" Hisashi's deep voice was rough from his recent strangling. It made the beast inside me even more furious. No one. No one harmed my fucking pride and lived.
I lunged, beak open to snap the fucker's head off.
I was mid-air when I slammed into an invisible brick wall. Halstad got to his feet, making a gesture with his hands.
Suddenly, that crawling blue energy encased me, pressing in from all sides.
"Well, if that won't work, let's change things up, shall we?" The mage cupped his hands and made a gesture like squeezing a ball. The energy around me contracted and I screeched as the air was pressed from my lungs.
"Stop! Leave her out of this," Hisashi shouted, leaping to his feet. He stumbled, clutching his middle, where the ball of lightning had hit him, then straightened, going wavery around the edges.
"Oh, now he finally gets it," the mage taunted. "Figures. What is it with this bitch? She have a golden pussy or something? You lot sure are obsessed."
Hisashi growled, his features going vulpine and sharp. "Let her go, Halstad. This isn't funny."
The mage grinned. "No? I think it's fucking hilarious, son." He squeezed me with the energy again and I let out a wheezing hiss as I fell to my haunches under the pressure. His magic was nothing like that of the mages I'd encountered before. Sure, they'd kicked my ass. But I felt like Halstad wasn't even trying.
A violent wind hit the rest of the room, knocking over a weight bench and whipping Halstad's shaggy blond waves into his mismatched eyes. He grimaced, then fell to his knees.
The pressure let up a bit, but I was still trapped.
Hisashi paced toward the mage, an unseen force whipping his white hair and clothes around him like a tornado as his eyes went pure, liquid silver. He was whispering something, speaking to people who weren't in this realm.
Halstad gasped and I watched in confusion as indentations appeared on the mage's face in the shape of a handprint, as if someone had just grabbed his face and squeezed.
Rather than fear, the burly mage responded with laughter. The energy around me dispersed and I was able to stand, gasping in deep breaths of blessed air.
Hasashi stood in the middle of the room, his arm outstretched toward the mage. He wobbled a bit, then let his hand drop. His hair and clothing dropped back where they belonged, and the wind stopped.
The fox slowly sank to his knees as Halstad stood. The mage was grinning ear to ear. "Hot damn! Finally. Good job, boy!"
But Hasashi just looked even more defeated. "I still couldn't control it," he whispered. "It was just a reaction."
I shifted back to human form, kicking the scraps of my shredded clothing aside. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I demanded. "I thought you were fucking killing him, Halstad, you fucking assmunch."
The mage blinked at me, then let out a deep, gravelly guffaw. "Assmunch?"
I growled.
Hisashi rubbed his temples as if he was developing a massive headache. "Just training, Gesa." His light blue eyes glanced at me, then away. Standing, he pulled off his silky robe and put it over my shoulders.
I breathed in the scent of him that lingered, like fresh fallen snow and ashes. Slipping my arms into the robe, I gave him a questioning look. "I'm wearing your clothes why?"
He flicked his eyes toward Halstad and away, heading toward the door. "No reason, I guess. Do whatever."
He was gone before I could respond, probably off in search of more clothes, since he was now wandering around in boxers.
"What the fuck?" I asked, turning toward Halstad. The mage was studiously looking at the wall off to my side. Rolling my eyes, I pulled the robe together and tied the sash. "Oh, for fuck's sake, what are you, human?"
The mage met my eyes with a wry twist to his lips. "Only by birth."
I sighed and sank down to sit on the punching bag that was now residing on the floor. "Seriously, what the hell, Halstad? You could have killed him."
The mage shrugged and set about righting the room, since it looked like a tornado had rolled through it. "I told you. I'm the bad cop. You're the...well, I'm not sure what the fuck you are. Not the good cop."
I growled at him.
He stood looking down at me, his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. I hadn't really realized until now, but he had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked a little more frayed around the edges than usual. Not that the guy was ever too spiffy.
"He thinks you blame him for losing the little guy," the mage drawled. It almost sounded like an accusation.
I shrugged. "Maybe I do."
He snorted. "I might not have my own eyes, but I'm not blind, girl."
I stared up at him. Not another fucking know-it-all. I did not need another one. But the Gods must hate me, because he kept right on talking.
"Anyone who's known you more than five minutes can tell you're blaming yourself for failing to protect your little herd."
"Pride," I muttered.
He ignored me. Like everyone these days.
"That boy's hurting," he said, mismatched eyes boring into me. "And so are you and all the rest of 'em. Best fix that wound before you bleed out. Y'all can't go out there and expect to fight against fae if you're not in top form."
I stood, towering over him. "You think I wouldn't just magically fix it if I could? I want Oisin back more than anyone."
He scoffed. "I wasn't talking about that." He studied me for a minute, that eerie gaze making my skin tingle. "Look. I know what it's like to be a youngster trying to cope with a whole lot of rage and pain. Humor the old man and listen."
I crossed my arms and glared down at him. He couldn't be more than thirty-five, forty tops. But he treated us all like children. Still, the hint of old pain in his eyes made me bite back the scathing snark that wanted to pour out of my mouth.
"That boy has more power in his pinkie finger than I do in my whole damned body," Halstad said quietly. "But it does him no good if he lets it eat him up from inside. I know a bit about that too."
I slumped. "Why are you telling me this?"
He clapped a big hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. His gold and purple eyes met mine and for once that good 'ol boy demeanor slid off like a bad All Hallows Eve mask. "I think you and me are more alike than we care to admit. We can't always be the strongest one in the room, sweetheart. And we can't protect everyone. No matter how hard we try. Trust me on that."
I stared back, utterly confused and feeling way too fucking vulnerable. Damned feelings!
"Whatever." But I didn't move out from under his hand. I felt grounded there. Even though he was asking me to take responsibility for even more bullshit.
"That boy is from a different clan than you. He was raised to constantly feel guilty. Idiot thinks he needs forgiving. It's blocking him up inside. He needs to get mad enough to work that out of his system. But he's not the only one, is he?"
I ground my teeth together. "Thanks for the advice, grandpappy."
He laughed, low and rumbling like a rock-grinder. "I sure feel like a grandpappy around you morons. Someone has to show a lick of sense. I can't have you all getting yourselves killed if I want to get paid."
I rolled my eyes and turned away, stalking off in search of something to wear that actually left something to the imagination.
I glanced back as I turned the corner to find the mage watching me with a sad expression on his stern face. The look was haunting, and it tugged on something in my chest. That guy had a whole shit ton of baggage he was dragging around. Normally my big, stupid lion heart would feel compelled to care.
But I just didn't have it in me right now. And I sure as shit couldn't deal with any more of his little heart-to-hearts.
He was too damned right, the asshole.