Chapter 4

Zoe

Considering it was Saturday, and my sixteenth birthday, I was feeling pretty piss poor. I was so busy worrying about my relationship with Zack changing, I didn't notice my relationship with Nick already had. He texted me before it was even eight o'clock in the morning to bail on our plans for celebrating my birthday, claiming he was sick. I knew it wasn't true. I knew it was because of last night. And that thought made me genuinely sick.

Outside of Zack and Emma Hatfield, Nick was my best friend. Had been my best friend. Why did he have to go and ruin that?

I braved the possibility of having to socialize with others because I was starving and the food was downstairs. I endured birthday greetings and hugs, ate my Rice Krispies, and returned to my room to "do homework." At noon, I determined I'd had enough indoor self-loathing and decided to walk up to a shopping area not far from the house and fill out job applications.

It was drizzling, which suited me fine. I raised my sweater's hood and disappeared. The sound my feet made as they flopped through shallow puddles was satisfyingly dismal, and the rain had lost its fresh smell and moved onto wormy. I'd only gotten a block and a half away before a car slowed and matched my pace. Annoyed, I glanced over to the street and discovered it was Zack driving his Cobra with the window down.

"Hey, good looking. I'll be back to pick you up later."

I couldn't help but smile. We used to search for corny TV commercials on YouTube, and this was from one of our favorites, a Mr. Microphone commercial.

"Whatever." I didn't want him to drag me out of my saltiness. I deserved to have a rotten day.

"However, I can only allow people sixteen or over within the confines of my vehicle."

I stopped and stared at him, suppressing a smile. It was no use. I took large, slow steps in his direction, maintaining eye contact the whole way. With each foot closer, my smile got wider. He grinned back. When I reached the Cobra, I stretched to put my hands on the roof, leaning down. Neither of us spoke for several seconds. An odd little thrill ran through me.

"What are you doing?" he said quietly.

"Huh?" I'd kind of gotten lost for a moment. I needed to reel it in. "Oh, I'm going to fill out some applications at the Super Saver and Zesto's, and wherever else I can."

He jerked his head toward the passenger side. "Get in. I'll give you a ride." I kind of liked the bossy way he said it.

When I reached for the door, I could see through the window a present was sitting on my seat. I bit my bottom lip and picked it up as I slid in, raising my gaze to his.

"Is this for me?"

He flipped on the turn signal. "Nope." Easing his car back onto the quiet, dead end street, he glanced at me. "You don't mind holding it, do you?"

Heat flamed my face. Why had I assumed...? "No. That's fine. Who—?"

"You might want to try McDonald's, too. I heard they're always hiring."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks." I stared at the gift. It was a white box, a little bigger than a softball, tied with a red bow, fairly heavy.

"So... did you enjoy the game last night?"

Something in the way he said it had me looking over, but his gaze was on the road.

I got a sinking feeling. "He told you, didn't he?"

"What? Who?"

"You know who. Nick. He told you about what happened last night."

He swiveled his head back and forth between me and the road. "Why? What happened last night?" He sounded genuinely surprised.

Shit. "Nothing. Never mind. Hey, there's the Super Saver."

He made a quick turn into a second entrance right before we passed it and drove all the way to the back of the lot before pulling into a space.

I watched the front door of the store as we passed by. "What are you doing?"

He jerked the gear shift into park and turned his whole body toward me. "What happened last night?"

I kept facing straight forward and stared out the windshield. The sun decided to peek out of the clouds then, and I squinted, the brightness stinging my eyes. "I really don't want to tell you." I strung the sentence out. "I thought you knew. I..."

"Well, I don't know, and you need to tell me."

My shoulders slumped. Why wouldn't he give it a rest? "Come on, Zack. If Nick didn't tell you, he doesn't want you to know, and I should respect his privacy."

"Nick? Privacy?"

It was true. Nick had no filter. He would tell you anything and everything, with a ridiculous amount of detail. So why hadn't he said anything to Zack?

"I don't think he'd want—"

"Fine." The sharp tone in his voice made me jump. His gaze flicked around from a passing bicyclist, to the people filling their tanks at the gas station across the street, to the billboard to our left for an adult toy store.

Why the hell was he mad?

"You know, I don't know why you're so pissed at me. I'm not the one who tried to kiss somebody who was supposed to be their—"

"Kiss? Did you say kiss?"

The blood drained from my face. It was as if I had no control over my mouth.

"I've gotta go."

I turned and had the door halfway open before he shouted, "Wait."

Okay, there's bossy, and then there's bossy. And this bossy is taking it too far.

I glared at him.

"Wait, Zo." He sighed, then gestured toward the box. "Open your present." When I just stared he added, "Please."

I softened. "My—I thought you said—"

"I was giving you a hard time." He nudged the package toward me.

I looked at it, then back at him. "Why don't you want to wait until tonight?"

"I don't know. I want to do it in private."

What was up with him? "Okay."

He frowned. "It's not wrapped very good...."

"What are you talking about? It's pretty." I held it up. "Simple and understated. That makes it elegant."

He shrugged. "If you say so. Open it."

I smiled. "I will if you give me a chance." Pinching the ribbon between my thumb and index finger, I started to tug.

"Wait," he shouted again. I looked at him. "It sort of needs an explanation."

I quirked an eyebrow. "This oughta be good." I tugged the string, releasing the bow. "A present needing an explanation." I started to lift the lid, and he covered my hands with his.

"Don't."

I cocked my head."I.... It's one of those presents... I'm not sure if you'll like it, or if it's dumb."

Okay. You're pretty sweet sometimes.

"Zack. It's from you. I'll love it no matter what, because you thought of me and tried to get me something I might enjoy. That means more than anything inside a box."

He stared at me for a second, then slowly released my hands. "It's kind of symbolic," he said hurriedly as I removed the lid. "It's supposed to represent our friendship."

I plucked away the purple tissue paper inside.

"If you don't want it, I can take it back."

I caught the glint of silver. Curious, I reached in to pull it out. Inside was the cutest little antique lantern I'd ever seen. The box on my lap faded into non-existence as the sun glinted off my gift. The top and base were constructed from some sort of silver metal, with a handle that swung up for carrying it. The globe was crafted from purple, swirling, ribbed glass. The design wasn't complicated, but in a way, that made it all the more beautiful.

Warmth rose in me when I figured out his meaning. The happiness bubbled out in my voice. "Because of our signal."

"Yes." He seemed relieved I understood.

I couldn't speak for a moment. "Oh. My. God! This is straight up fire. I love it."

His face relaxed and he let out a breath. "You do?"

"Yes. It's beautiful. Really beautiful, Zack."

I twirled it from the handle, admiring it from every angle.

"I wanted you to know..."

I stopped spinning it, and our gazes connected.

"I'll always be here for you, Zoe. Whenever you need me. Light the light and—"

My heart was in my throat.

He stopped, breaking the spell. He backed away and looked around before running his hands along the steering wheel. "It's corny, isn't it?"

I grinned. "Super corny." I put my hand on the side of his face and brought his attention back to me. "And super special. In fact, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Ever. Thank you." I don't know why I did it, but I brushed the pad of my thumb over his gorgeous, sensual lips. I thought about kissing him. My emotions were so close to the surface.

His cheeks colored in the cutest way. "Well. I'm glad you like it."

I took my hand away from his face. It was similar to fighting a magnetic field. "I love it. I really do."

He scrunched his shoulders, looking at the lantern. "Well," he repeated softly. "I'm just glad you like it." He nodded, as if verifying something for himself.

"Where did you get it?"

"This little antique store downtown. I spotted it in the window, and it made me think of you. I've had it for months. Oh. And there's something else."

My brow furrowed. "Something else?"

He nodded, his face lighting up. "This I know you'll love."

I stole the box back and peered inside, moving tissue around.

"No." He gestured to the lantern. "Turn it over."

I smiled. I loved how he made it a game. I flipped it, and taped to the bottom were....

"Oh, my gosh!" I squealed. "Are these.... Oh, my God! They're Seether tickets, aren't they?"

"Ah-huh. It's not until March, but...."

I bounced on my seat. "I can't believe you got me Seether tickets! How could you afford these, with the car, and the speakers...?"

"My mom gave me a loan."

"Oh. You didn't have to—"

"No. I wanted to. So... there are two tickets..." He leaned back and stretched his arm over to put a hand on my seat, wiggling his eyebrows. "Who are you going to take?"

I slapped his shoulder. "You, you big jerk. This is so awesome."

He laughed.

I set the lantern on my lap and grabbed the sides of his face. "You are the best friend anyone could ever have. Hands down."

He threw his arms around me and gave me a big squeeze. "Happy birthday, Zoe."

It was a golden, wonderful moment.

"Now." He leaned back. "Get out of my car. I have to get some homework done before dinner tonight."

"You're still coming, right?"

"Of course. I can take that home for you, if you want." He reached for the lantern and I clutched it to my chest.

"M-m-m. I don't want to leave it," I whined.

"Well, you'll look pretty dorky, swinging it through the store."

I pouted and considered. "Oh. Okay." With one last longing look, I handed it over.

"Now get out there and get yourself a job. We'll need the cash."

I laughed, opening my door and stepping out onto the pavement. Before I closed it, I stuck my head back in. "See you later, then?"

He grinned. "See you later."

I moved away, and he backed out of the spot, roaring off in stunt driver fashion.

I stared after him and sighed.

I couldn't lose this. Couldn't lose him. He was too important to me.

* * *

Zack

It was well after midnight, so technically not even Zoe's birthday anymore, but we were still celebrating it, lying on the platform at the top of her slide, tilting our heads at the edge so we could look at the stars. As per usual, we'd marked the occasion earlier with her family at Honest Abe's, which arguably had the best burgers in town. She was nothing if not predictable. This was the standard for... well, as long as I could remember. My mom didn't come this year, telling everyone she had a headache, but I think she wasn't used to Dani being in the picture, forever ending all hope of her landing Mr. McCord.

I lifted my head. Since we lived at the end of a cul-de-sac, the McCords' lawn fanned out at the back, and the swing set was placed near the property line, giving me the right angle to observe the purple lantern glowing in her window. It made me smile. I looked over at Zoe. She was being quiet. The wind picked up, and blew some of her hair into my mouth. I sputtered. I didn't really mind. I thought her hair was beautiful. She brought a hand up to fight the wayward strands back, tucking them under her head.

She chuckled. "Sorry."

I caught sight of her ring when she moved her hair. "Let me see that again." She knew what I was talking about. I never had to explain things with her. Sometimes it was like we shared the same brain. Good for me; bad for her. She held her hand out, and I brought it closer to study the gift her dad had given her. And probably to touch her. Ulterior motives always stirred at the back of my mind with her lately, but I kept them at bay. "It's really pretty. Opal, you said?" She nodded. "And it was your grandma's?"

"Yep." Her eyes glowed as she admired it, a wisp of a smile floating on her lips. She and her Grandma McCord had always been close. But that was sentimental Zoe. Family meant everything to her, even if she would rather eat a can of worms than admit to it. I twisted onto my side and leaned on my elbow, my head in my hand. "So you had a good birthday, then?"

She smiled. "The best."

"Good."

She picked a leaf off her sweater that the wind had deposited there. Staring at it, she twirled the leaf by the stem, fixating for a moment.

What she'd said earlier about Nick kissing her pricked me all day. I'd shake it off, but it always returned, like a damned mosquito buzzing in my ear. An image of them, together. Him, touching her in that way. It made the milkshake I'd drunk at Abe's sour in my stomach. My mouth moved and words came out. "Nick didn't come."

Her gaze flitted to me, then she narrowed her eyes. She shrugged, becoming absorbed in the leaf again. "No. He couldn't come."

I wanted to let it go, but I couldn't. "Why?"

She frowned. "You're a stubborn S.O.B."

Anger, quick and hot, speared through me, climbing my throat. I wrestled it down. "Yes, I am."

Still fidgeting with the stem between her fingers, she rolled over onto her stomach. After a second or two, she dropped it. I followed the leaf's trail as it floated, arcing from side to side, slowly descending to the ground. "I mean, why'd he have to go and do that?" She spoke as if I wasn't there. As if puzzling it out. I was silent, waiting for her to reveal more. "I ruined everything." Her voice trembled. The breeze shifted the branches, allowing light to reach her cheek and silver the trail of a single tear clinging to her face. "He ruined everything." She couldn't seem to decide who the guilty party was.

I touched her shoulder. "Zo."

She turned to finally look at me. "He missed my birthday. He always comes with us on my birthday."

"He's just... embarrassed. Give it some time. He'll—"

She shook her head. "I don't think so." She stared off into the darkness, then returned her gaze to me. "You should have seen his face." She swallowed. "I didn't mean to hurt him. I thought he was kidding at first. Then he—"

I held my breath, waiting for her to add more.

"Aughhh." She flipped over to sit, and I followed suit. She threw her hands up. "I can't believe we're even talking about this." She hugged her knees. "It's so... stupid."

Stupid? "You can hardly blame him for wanting to kiss you."

"What?" She turned her head to stare at me. "What are you flipping talking about?"

"Well, you—"

"Come on. I'm not Hillary Cantrell, or Beth Dewitt, or any of those girls who actually, like, date, and have it all together. They have the whole package. I'm just me. Good ol' Zoe."

"You act as if that's a bad thing."

She shrugged. "Not a bad thing, but not a good thing either."

"I'd have to argue that. You—"

"Did I ever do anything to make it appear I was interested in him in that way?"

"Well, umm, no. I don't think so."

"No. Really. Tell me, Zack. Did I accidentally flirt with him or... I don't know... look at him weird...? Did you feel I was sending out signals of some sort?"

"No. No. I thought it was crazy when Ty said something about it."

She hesitated. "You did?"

"Yeah." I glanced over and caught her expression before she looked away. Her eyes had widened, and her bottom lip trembled. "Zoe—"

"It's late." She swung her feet over the side and jumped to the ground.

"Zoe. Wait."

"I'm tired, Zack. I'm going—"

"I didn't mean for it to sound that way."

"No. I know." She hid behind her wall of hair, not making eye contact. "I'm going to bed."

"Can't we—"

She spun around, her eyes snapping with electricity. "I'm going to bed."

I sat with my mouth open, my mind whirling through any number of things I could say to stop her. In the end, I didn't say anything. When she disappeared inside I let out a loud breath and stretched out on my back again, with my elbow bent, arm flopped across my forehead. Staring up, I spotted a huge spider web in the right-hand corner of the swing set's topper, where green canvas met wood support beams. A curled up leaf was suspended from a thread, twisting in the breeze. I couldn't help but think I was in the same sticky, tangled mess.

Things used to be so free and easy, so comfortable with Zoe. I thought about that Facebook relationship status. When did things become "complicated" between us? She was never the over-emotional type. I wanted to chalk it up to hormones.

That would explain her mood swings.

But what about mine?