They could not bring themselves to depart. Instead of leaving, they continued eastward along the Canyon drive, stopping at each overlook for yet another burst of splendor until they finally came to the end of the Canyon. Continuing east, they stopped for breakfast at the first settlement they came to.
Tiffany squirmed in the seat, adjusted her thong, then leaned back into the booth and sighed. “I can’t believe I gave that man nearly eleven months of my life. Just being here, away from him, sitting around with girls, makes me realize how stupid I was.”
“What you ever saw in him is what I want to know,” declared Lilly. Sally Beth did not think it would be helpful to mention that Lilly herself had seen plenty in him, at least until he tried to throw her into the Grand Canyon, so she sipped her lemon tea in silence.
“I don’t know,” sighed Tiffany. “Seems like I can’t see the bad in a man until he rubs my face in it. I hate to date, and the only guys I get involved with are the ones who chase me until I stop saying no. I’m just lazy, I guess. I can’t seem to go to the trouble to find myself the right kind of man. You think I’d learn.” She looked so forlorn in her frumpy housecoat buttoned from neck to calf, without makeup, making every attempt to hide her beauty that Sally Beth wondered if she had been badly hurt by some man, or perhaps several. Her looks seemed to be a millstone that weighted her down rather than giving her the freedom beauty should.
“So where are you going now? Back to Las Vegas?” It was sad thinking about Tiffany being alone in Las Vegas. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that it was a bad place. Girls like Tiffany were paraded around like prize heifers. Even though they were taken care of well enough, fed, watered, and bedded comfortably, there was always the uncertain future when the milk dried up.
“No. I hated it there. My boss was one of those sleazy characters who thinks he can pimp you out just because he writes your paycheck. You wouldn’t believe all the things he tried to get me to do so he could make extra money on a car. It was bad enough that I had to wear their stupid ‘uniform’.” She made air quotes with her fingers. “I wasn’t about to intentionally lead men on. Some of those old guys were pitiful; they were so lonesome, even with all their money, and they would have spent any amount if they thought it might make somebody love them. And then others thought I was supposed to come along for the ride with them if they bought the car. I never want to put up with any of that again.”
“What did your uniform look like?” Lilly was curious.
“Oh, not too bad, for normal-looking girls, but I have to be careful. You have tits and a caboose like this, and if you show any of it, even hint at showing it, everybody thinks you’re a slut, and they treat you like one. No-good men decide they’re going to own you, and good men don’t know how to act so they try to pretend you don’t exist—that, or it brings out the no-good side of them, too. The only reason I took that job is so that I could save enough to get it all whacked off.” She made a slicing motion at her breast, and after thinking a moment, added, “Well, that and get my sister through college.”
“You mean you were going to have surgery?”
“You bet. Do you have any idea what it’s like carrying these globs of fat around?” She hefted her breasts with her hands. “I just wish I could take them off! You can’t sleep on your back, or your stomach, you have to wear bras the size of peach baskets, and any boyfriend you get keeps trying to cram you into the world’s most uncomfortable, stupidest clothes he can find just so he can strut around and show you off to other men.” She turned down the corners of her mouth. “What I wouldn’t give to just look normal.”
“So you have a younger sister?” Sally Beth asked, hoping she wasn’t going through the same kind of agony.
“Yeah, Sarah Jane. She’s twenty and starting her junior year at UT, and she’s the brightest little thing! She got a scholarship, so all she needs is enough money to pay for room and board, and I’ve been helping her do that. She has a job, too, so I don’t have to do too much.”
“Any others?”
“Nope. Just Sarah Jane and me, Edna Mae.”
“Huh?” Lilly asked.
“Edna Mae. That’s my real name. Tiffany is just a made-up name that my boss wanted me to use because he thought Edna Mae was too country for the likes of his fancy dealership. Back home nobody would know Tiffany. I kind of liked it at first, but now I can’t stand it. You can call me Edna Mae. It feels good to hear it. It feels like home.”
“So… Edna Mae,” said Lilly, trying it out. “What do you want to do next? Do you want to ride east with us?”
“If you don’t mind. I’d like to go as far as Texarkana, where my granny lives.”
“Your granny? Is that where the rest of your family is?”
Edna Mae’s face tightened as she glanced away. “My granny is my family. Her and my sister.” She shifted her gaze back to her coffee cup. Edna Mae was holding something back tightly, something that she hated so badly that she wanted to thrust it from her rather than hold it in, and she was fighting herself to keep it close. She fairly quivered with the strain of it.
“That’s okay,” said Lilly gently. “We can take you right to Texarkana. We’ll be going through there, and it’s fun having you along. I like to hear you play the harmonica.”
“Let me get the gas, and I’ll drive awhile,” said Edna Mae as they stopped at a gas station.
Lilly opened the back door. “Okay. I’ll sit back here,” she said, shoving bags and guitar cases across the seat. “Hey, here’s Lawrence’s camera. He left it in the car.”
“Oh yeah,” laughed Edna Mae. “He actually didn’t. I just happened to grab it on my way out the door. Consider it yours. It’s the least I can do for you driving me all the way home.”
“Edna Mae!” scolded Sally Beth. “You can’t be giving his camera to Lilly. We have to send it back to him.”
“No we don’t. I bought that camera for him, and now I’m taking it back. He took it under false pretenses, and I’ll be dadgummed if I let him have it. I’ll throw it in the river first.”
“Here are four rolls of exposed film,” said Lilly. “All those pictures he took of us? Hey! Let’s find a one-hour photo shop and have them developed when we get to Flagstaff.”
The rain began again. Since she couldn’t see out of her side of the flooded windshield, Sally Beth leaned back into the passenger seat to gaze at the streaming desert through the side window. Funny. I’m watching the desert and there’s standing water all over it.
It was true; the desert streamed with flowing water. Each wash and gully was filled with raging torrents, frothing at the banks and spilling over ravine walls. Grass seemed to grow and flower as she watched, as if it had been released from a fisted hand. Slowly, she realized that the desert was not dead at all, but full of life and sound and color. Even when the rain abated and the water stopped streaming, she saw and appreciated the lean, rough beauty of the place.
“This place is very… muscular. Like a really hard-working man,” she mused. “Home is like a woman. It’s soft and sweet, and curvy. This place is all bristly and calloused. Hard edges.”
“But you like it?” asked Edna Mae.
“Yeah,” admitted Sally Beth. “I think I do.” She looked again, letting her eyes wander over the solid, endless plateaus. They were rough, but if you looked hard enough, you saw a sweetness, too, even in the craggy hills. The stone walls hinted at secret, honeyed places where color slept and life surged beneath the rocky soil. She sighed as she leaned her forehead against the window, sleepily watching the play of light and shadows of rain upon the land.
As they drew near Flagstaff, they agreed that with visibility so poor, they might as well push on toward Winslow to get a jump on the long haul to Albuquerque. Edna Mae turned eastward on the highway, but they had not gone very far before she suddenly yawned. “I just got really sleepy. I didn’t sleep much last night, thanks to Lawrence, and after getting up at, what? Three o’clock this morning? I’m ready to call it quits. Let’s stop here for the night. Unless somebody else wants to drive.”
“Yeah, let’s stop,” agreed Lilly. “I want to get these pictures developed.”
They found a cheap motel before tracking down a pharmacy with a one-hour photo service where Edna Mae bought a toothbrush. After an early dinner, they went straight to bed, each falling into her own private dreams.
Friday, August 11, 1978, Moqui, Arizona
“Happy Birthday, Sally Beth!”
She woke to see Lilly and Edna Mae standing over her with gifts in their hands. Lilly dangled earrings that looked like a string of glittering stars. Edna Mae presented her with a bubble-gum pink cowboy hat with a rhinestone princess crown set into the front. Squealing with delight, Sally Beth put on the earrings and the hat. She felt like a princess indeed: pampered, loved, and oh, so cute, all dolled up. “Where did you find these?” she asked. “And how?”
“There’s a great truck stop just down the road. We sneaked out while you were still asleep. Now, come on Birthday Girl! We got some celebrating to do!”
The first stop was at the drugstore to pick up their developed film, then they went to breakfast where they took their time looking at the photographs. Lawrence proved to be quite the photographer. Although his pictures of the Grand Canyon were remarkable, the images he had shot of the women were astonishingly beautiful. He had used the close-up lens on Edna Mae, capturing the delicate nuances of her extraordinary face and hair.
Lilly was fascinated. “How did he get this effect, where the light seems to shine right through you?” she asked. “And what did he do here, to make the background so crisp, when here it is all fuzzy and soft? Oh, look at this one of you, Sally Beth. You look like an angel! The light is giving you a halo. And look at your eyes—Sally Beth, you are just beautiful.” She kept thumbing through the photographs, marveling and studying them. “These look like real art, not just pictures.”
“Yeah, he went to school to study photography,” said Edna Mae, and he’s this good even with his old camera. I just bought this one for him.” She gave a snort of laughter. “I bet he’s mad now that he’ll have to use that old camera on his other girlfriend.” She pondered this for a moment, eyes flashing. “Wonder if she will let him take pictures of her naked? That’s all he ever talked about to me—just had to take pictures of me naked. Man, I’m glad I never let him. Who knows where those would have shown up? Seriously, girls,” she added, “don’t ever let a man take a picture of you naked. That’s one bit of decent advice my mama gave me, and she was right.”
Sally Beth laughed. “I don’t think you ever have to worry about me, Edna Mae. Lilly, now, that’s a different story.” She punched her sister in the arm. Lilly punched her back, but not as hard as she might have. Clearly, Lilly was in a better mood than Sally Beth had seen her in a long time. “Let’s go,” she said, her voice light and happy. “I want to take our pictures standing on the corner in Winslow, Arizona. Somebody else drive. I need to read these instructions and figure out how to work this thing.”
Behind the wheel, Sally Beth drove fast across the miles of mesas and hills. They stopped in Winslow before driving on to see the Petrified Forest, and then as the Painted Desert opened up before them, she couldn’t help but pray her thanks. Thank You, Lord! You are magnificent! Beyond magnificent! I can never be grateful enough, but I am as grateful as any human can be.
The desert bloomed now; it was not dry, but wet, colorful, almost lush. The lean and rocky land spoke in a whispered voice, telling Sally Beth that she was too soft to understand the secrets here, no matter how much she might yearn to know them. She was satisfied just to look and not intrude upon the mysteries. It wasn’t her place to know all places intimately just as it was not her place to know all people intimately. Her mama had taught her that the secret to enjoying life was to open herself to it as much as was proper without intruding; to appreciate and love, but to accept whatever constraints a place or a person—or she—needed to impose. Like a dance, there are rules, a form within a certain space.
“You are free to move all you want within that space, as long as you make the steps,” she had once said. “You can improvise on the dance, but the reason to dance in the first place is to show your love. Hold people carefully. Don’t step on anybody’s toes or trip anybody up. If everybody remembers that, we all get to dance and nobody gets hurt.” Sally Beth was grateful to her mama for teaching her that. It made it easier to navigate, knowing these simple rules.
Edna Mae pulled out her harmonica, Lilly took up the Gibson, and before long, the three of them had settled into a nice harmony. Lilly sang with a robust, full voice. Sally Beth’s was higher, pure and sweet, not strong, but she blended well with Lilly. Edna Mae’s voice was raspy and breathy, but she could carry a tune, and she could belt them out.
Edna Mae pulled out the beat-up old guitar. “Here’s a little something I’m working on in honor of our favorite pretty boy,” she said, giving the guitar strings four long strums in a minor key, then bellowed out:
You’re better off with the fury of hell than with a scornful wo-man.
The devil will let you ride his tail while he heats up the frying pan.
But a lady full of scorn won’t give you that spin.
She’ll scorch you to cinders for all of your sin.
I’m a scornful woman, you are the scorned
I disdain your sweet-talking ways
You can cry all you want, look sad and forlorn
But I’m done with you for all of my days
Lilly picked up the backup quickly. Sally Beth found a counter melody as Edna Mae tinkered with a second verse.
A loving woman won’t be tight with wages that you’re due
If the sweet words that you spoke to her came from a heart that’s true
You’d feel like a king if you’d treated her nice
But a rotten man’s pay is fire and ice
The refrain rolled out of their mouths lustily. They rolled down the windows and sang it loud. Lilly leaned out of the window, shouting it to the dusty road, and Edna Mae joined her. Sally Beth stomped on the accelerator as she hollered at the windshield, skewering poor Lawrence as they stormed their way across the lovely, silent desert.
At Edna Mae’s insistence on stopping early enough to celebrate Sally Beth’s birthday, they found a motel on the outskirts of Albuquerque. As soon as they threw their suitcases on the bed, Edna Mae slapped the pink cowboy hat on Sally Beth’s head and announced, “Let’s go honky-tonking!”
Lilly shook her head. “Sally Beth won’t want to go to a bar, Edna Mae. Let’s just go to a nice restaurant.” Edna Mae shrugged off her disappointment. “Okay, she’s the princess today.” Sally Beth breathed a sigh of thanks.
Lilly and Sally Beth both dressed in their new cowgirl outfits and took pains with their hair and makeup, but Edna Mae scrubbed her face and pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail. She put her dowdy housecoat on, buttoning it all the way up, and shoved her feet into her plain, scuffed brown cowboy boots. Sally Beth looked her over. “Don’t you want to at least put on a little lipstick? Really, Edna Mae, it looks like you’re trying to make yourself look unattractive.”
Edna Mae laughed. “You’re right about that, girlfriend. I’ve spent my whole life trying not to attract attention. Thanks, but I’d just as soon be as ugly as a one-eyed, one-eared mutt tonight. Now, come on. The man at the desk told me about a nice restaurant right down the road.” She picked up her purse and strode out the door.
Sally Beth grew suspicious about how “nice” the restaurant was when they pulled into a parking lot full of pickup trucks and Harley Davidson bikes and heard the thumping of country music. “This looks like the place,” observed Edna Mae. “Hope you girls are set for a good time.” She and Lilly both bounced out of the car, leaving Sally Beth to trail behind as they wriggled through the crowd and into a corner booth. A waitress appeared right away. “I’ll take a Jim Beam, neat, and a glass of water,” said Edna Mae.
Lilly glanced at Sally Beth before she said, a little timidly, “I’ll have a mojito and a glass of water.” Sally Beth didn’t know what a mojito was, but by the way Lilly was acting, she suspected it had liquor in it. She gave her sister an apprehensive glance. “Lilly, does that have alcohol in it?”
Lilly rolled her eyes.
“Why shouldn’t she have alcohol, Sally Beth?” demanded Edna Mae. “It’s your birthday and you need to cut loose a little.” She turned to the waitress. “She’ll have one, too. It’s her birthday, and it’s time she learned the ways of the Wild West.” Sally Beth’s eyes grew wide, but she didn’t say anything. This was a side of Edna Mae she had not seen before.
The drinks came. Sally Beth sipped hers carefully, watching with alarm as Edna Mae tossed her shot of whiskey back in one gulp, then signaled for another. Sally Beth gnawed at her lip. Lilly had already finished half of her drink.
“Lilly, don’t you drink it fast. You need to be careful.”
Lilly glared back at her. “Oh, chill out, Sally Beth. You aren’t my mama, and I can do anything I want. I’m twenty-one years old. Now just shut up and leave me alone.”
“But Lilly…”
“She’s right, Sally Beth. She’s twenty-one years old and you aren’t her mama. Now, it’s your birthday, and I’m not going to let you get out of here until you’ve loosened up a little and had a good time. Drinks are on me.” She lifted the second whiskey in Sally Beth’s direction. “To Sally Beth. Happy birthday to the sweetest girl in—where are we?” she said loudly to the crowd in general. “New Mexico? To the sweetest girl in New Mexico.” She tossed it down in a single gulp, then slammed her glass down with a big, breathy, “Ahhhh!”
Lilly lifted her glass, too, proclaiming, “To the sweetest, busy-body sister in the world, but the one I wouldn’t trade for anything. I love ya, sis!” She guzzled her drink and slammed the glass on the table as well.
Despite her alarm at Lilly’s recklessness, Sally Beth felt a knot in her stomach begin to loosen the tiniest bit. It had been a long time since she had sat at a table with girlfriends and just had a good time, and it felt good to hear Lilly’s and Edna Mae’s praise, as it felt good to think about her sister as her friend, not someone she needed to mother and protect. She gave a timid smile and said, as primly as she could while her heart swelled with friendship, “Thank you,” and she took another sip.
Before long, the music, the smoke in the room, and the alcohol made her feel giddy, but she was having such a good time, she didn’t care that she was laughing too loud or that they might be making fools of themselves, singing along with the band while bouncing in their seats to the rhythm of the music.
A man dressed in tight jeans and boots, with slicked-back hair approached the table. “Hey, Birthday Girl,” he said. “Care to dance?” Sally Beth was taken aback. Usually men asked Lilly to dance first. She hesitated, looking at Lilly and Edna Mae.
“Go ahead, girl!” urged Edna Mae. “Show these cowboys a step or two!”
Lilly gave her a shove toward the dance floor. As Sally Beth let herself be led into the dance, Lilly and another man joined them. She glanced back at Edna Mae, wondering if she ought to go back and sit with her, but she didn’t look like she was lonesome; she was just sitting back, smoking a cigarette, smiling at the band, the dancers, and the waitress, who was bringing her another whiskey.
The evening flew by faster than she could have imagined. She and Lilly danced with several partners, then they ordered dinner and ate, and afterwards, the waitress brought a whole cake, and complete strangers sang “Happy Birthday” to her as they passed out cake to everyone who wanted some. Then someone sent over a round of drinks, and although Sally Beth wasn’t sure it was right to accept them from a stranger, Edna Mae and Lilly laughed at her and lifted theirs to the guy at the bar who was waving at them. Sally Beth smiled and waved back, just a little, before she sipped at it.
Right after that, he appeared at their table. He was good looking in a rough sort of way, but Sally Beth didn’t mind that. She preferred real men to sissy ones, unlike Lilly, who seemed to like pretty boys like Lawrence and her cousin Geneva’s old boyfriend, who drove a fancy car and wore a suit even during the week. No, this man who was asking her to dance was the kind she liked. Big and burly and not a dandy, and she was feeling so good and happy with the music thrumming in her veins, she jumped right up.
The band was playing a fast tune, but as soon as they stepped onto the floor, that song melded seamlessly into a slow dance number. Sally Beth began to regret her lack of caution when her partner moved in close, tightening his grip. As politely as she could, she put her hand on his chest, pushing lightly and shaking her head. He didn’t get the message, but pulled her even closer, then, to her horror, he pressed his groin into hers as he leered and breathed into her face.
Up close, his teeth looked ragged and dirty, his breath was beery, and when she saw his red eyes focused on her with a hard and ugly stare, she felt a sudden fear creeping up her backbone. Struggling in earnest, she clawed at his shoulders, but the more she resisted, the more it fueled his cruelty. He moved his hands down to cup her buttocks, roughly jerking her toward him to grind his crotch against hers. When he began to steer her toward a dark corner, she panicked, forgetting to breathe until the room started to spin.
Suddenly, Edna Mae appeared behind the man. “Hey, darlin’,” she drawled. “I think you’ve got a little too tight a grip on my friend here. I’m cuttin’ in.”
The man mumbled an obscenity at Edna Mae without unlocking his drunken gaze from Sally Beth’s face.
Edna Mae said nothing, but smiled brightly, as if she was having the most delightful conversation, then, as gently as if she were giving him a loving hug, she wrapped her forearm around his neck and slowly pulled him backward.
He brought his arm up sharply behind him, hitting Edna Mae with his elbow, then he spun around and glared at her. “Get the hell away from me, you fat dyke, before I bash your teeth out.”
Edna Mae’s smile grew tight and her eyes hardened, and one second later, he was lying flat on the floor with one of Edna Mae’s scuffed boot heels delicately balanced on his throat. The sole of the other boot stood in his open palm on the floor.
The dancers stopped, then the music stopped, and Sally Beth wished she were anywhere but there. A thought flashed through her head. This is what happens when you go to bars and drink and dance with strangers. The bouncer materialized by her side.
“What’s the problem here?” he asked.
Edna Mae smiled at him, all soft sweetness. “Sorry, sweetheart. This bozo decided to molest my friend right here on the dance floor, and she isn’t big enough to discourage him by herself. I just gave her a hand.” She stepped away from the man on the floor. “We’ll just go back and sit down now, if that’s okay. I think he’s learned his lesson.” The bouncer nodded as Edna Mae grabbed Sally Beth’s shaking hand and led her back to their booth.
Sally Beth was mortified, but after a moment, she felt kind of good, too, that Edna Mae had come to her rescue like that. But then again, no one had ever done anything like that man had done to her.
The man jumped up and yelled at Sally Beth’s and Edna Mae’s backs, “You ugly, fat bitch!” he yelled, lunging at them, but when the bouncer made a threatening step forward, he turned back to his friends at the bar, muttering something that made them look in the girls’ direction and hoot with laughter.
Furious, Lilly jumped out of her seat, but Edna Mae grabbed her arm. “Huh-uh, honey. I know how to deal with their kind. They’ll be whimpering before we’re done with them.” Slipping back into the darkness of the booth, she rummaged in her purse. “Sally Beth? Do you have any red lipstick?”
“What?” She had not yet recovered from the shock.
“Red lipstick. I don’t think I brought any with me. And eyeliner. You got any?”
“Uh, yeah. In here somewhere.” She opened her purse to pull out a handful of lipsticks and eyeliner pencils.
“Oh, good. Let me have that,” she said, grabbing the assortment and a compact mirror.
“Don’t you want to do that in the bathroom?” asked Lilly.
“Nope. It’s better if we do it right here,” said Edna Mae as she peered into the mirror. “It terrifies them when we just bust out of the corner like this.” After she put on a thick ring of black around her eyes and slathered on lipstick, she untied her ponytail, shaking out her hair until it bloomed around her face in a fan of copper and honey curls. Sally Beth gasped at the transformation.
“Got any earrings in there? Big ones?
“Uh—”
“I do. I bought them for Sally Beth, but then I found the starry ones and decided to give her those instead.” Lilly produced a pair of large gold hoops.
“What are you doing?” asked Sally Beth.
Edna Mae grinned as she put the earrings into her ears. “You two had better spiffy up, too. Here, put some on,” she said, handing the lipstick to Sally Beth. She unbuttoned the top five buttons of her housecoat and tugged it off her shoulders. Reaching under the table, she unbuttoned her housecoat nearly up to her crotch. “Sally Beth, give me your belt.”
Sally Beth hesitated only for a moment before stripping it off and handing it over to her. She was only slightly surprised that Edna Mae had no trouble buckling it just two notches away from where she had worn it. It cinched in the voluminous garment, making Edna Mae’s waist look tiny between her breasts and the huge swell of her hips.
“Lilly, undo a few of those buttons, honey,” Edna Mae said, as she tugged at the elastic top of Sally Beth’s peasant blouse, bringing the shoulders down to the middle of her upper arms. “Here, that isn’t enough.” Taking the lipstick from Sally Beth, she applied it thickly on her lips, then did the same for Lilly. Eyeliner came next, and then she pulled the pins out of Sally Beth’s chignon, ruffled up her hair, fluffing curls around her shoulders. Finally, she carefully replaced Sally Beth’s bubble-gum pink cowboy hat with the rhinestone crown atop her blonde head, leaned back with a sultry look and said, “How do I look?”
Sally Beth grimaced slightly. “A little trashy,” she said, then immediately regretted saying it, so she added, “but real pretty!”
“Perfect,” came the reply. “Before we’re done, these guys will be crawling. Here, drink this down,” she said, handing Sally Beth a fresh mojito. “You’re going to need it.” Sally Beth wasn’t sure she should, but Edna Mae was so authoritative and so intimidating that she felt she really had no choice. “Good girl. Now heat it up.”
She pushed them both from the booth and she slid out, revealing a long, chiseled thigh. Head held high, she strode to the stage, stepped up beside the lead singer, and stood perfectly still in the spotlight.
The room fell silent while all eyes turned to her. Every inch of her, from her wild hair and painted eyes and lips to her scuffed cowboy boots looked like an Amazonian goddess. No one there had ever seen anything like her outside of the mud flaps of an eighteen wheeler. Her breasts billowed out of the top of her dress; her slender waist accentuated the round, perfect, massive hips. A long thigh pushed forward through the open dress as she stood, quietly smiling. Then she simply lifted the mic from the stunned singer’s hand and spoke into it with a low, throaty voice. Her eyes were half closed; her lips were pursed slightly, as if she wanted to kiss the mic.
“I just love hearing you boys play, and me and my girlfriends just had to get up here and join you. You don’t mind, do you?” The band members broke into grins, and the audience fell to clapping. Edna Mae glanced slyly to the bar where Sally Beth’s dance partner sat with an open mouth. His friends all wore the same expression.
Lilly was the first to recover. Standing below the stage, she nudged Sally Beth. “Here’s your chance, honey. Make that jerk suffer.” Tossing her head and running her fingers through her satin blonde hair, she stepped up on the stage and leaned into Edna Mae.
“Anyway,” Edna Mae was saying, “I’m Tiffany, and these here are my girlfriends, Silver Gilded Lilly, and Sweet Sally—come on up here, Sweet Sally. She’s shy. Boys and girls, why don’t we help her out?” Lilly reached out to pull Sally Beth up to her while the audience cheered and applauded, and suddenly Sally Beth felt the alcohol send courage and strength pulsing through her veins. She realized that this was her moment. That man had humiliated her in public, and now Edna Mae was up to something to pay him back, and she was going to do her best to help her. She threw her head back and stuck out her chest as she heard the applause and felt a warm buzz go through her.
“That’s right, boys and girls. Give Sweet Sally a hand. She’s real shy at first, but once she warms up, she can be hot.” She turned back to the lead singer, draped an arm over his shoulder, and looking dead level into his eyes from about four inches away purred, “Would you boys mind if we sang a little song? In honor of Sweet Sally’s birthday?” He shook his head no, dazed, but grinning as he gazed down at her breasts pressed against his chest. Slipping his guitar strap smoothly over his neck, Edna Mae handed it to Sally Beth, then took her harmonica out of her pocket, sat on the stool, and crossed her legs. The crowd erupted in cheers. Lilly approached the bass player and just as neatly took his instrument from him.
“Now, we want to sing this song for that little creepy man over at the bar there, the one who thought he could put his nasty old hands all over Sweet Sally and call me a fat, ugly bitch.” She pointed directly to him, holding the pointed finger out long enough for his friends to edge away from him. After she was sure everybody knew who she was going to honor with the song, she stuck out her chest and put both hands up to fluff up her hair, then gave a mighty stretch, lifting her leg and pointing her foot forward. When she had finished stretching, her hands slid downward across her body, stroking her curves. “Do you think I’m fat and ugly?” she crooned into the mic.
A chorus of “NOOOOOs” rang out.
“He needs more than just glasses. He needs a shrink!” shouted someone from the back.
“My thoughts exactly. Crazy little man thought he could get by with pawing his nasty old hands all over Sweet Sally right on the dance floor, and on her birthday.”
Another round of enthusiastic “NOOOOOs” echoed around the room. Sally Beth was past caring about maintaining a ladylike demeanor. She preened and blew them a kiss.
“Now, the way I hear it, the only men who do that kind of thing are the ones who have a little...” Edna Mae held up her thumb and forefinger two inches apart, “problem,” and she winked. “It makes them feel like a maaaan when they can intimidate and molest nice girls. Isn’t that right, creepy little man at the bar with the little…” Again, she held out her finger and thumb, but shrank the distance between them while drawing them in front of her right eye. She closed her left eye and squinted, “…problem.”
Then she blew into her harmonica for a few bars before launching into the song about a scornful woman. Sally Beth and Lilly moved into the second mic to back her up, stomping their cowboy boots, swinging their hips and hair, and playing for all they were worth.
“We need a drink up here, boys!” shouted Edna Mae while Lilly played a riff, and within seconds, both bartenders brought them drinks—whiskey for Edna Mae and mojitos for Sally Beth and Lilly.
They sang both verses twice, then Edna Mae spent some time making the harmonica as insulting as she could, and then, to Sally Beth’s surprise, Lilly leaned into the mic and on the spot, came up with another verse.
He’s way too dumb to understand what he can’t and what he can
He struts around all day and all night thinking we’re all his fans.
He ain’t no kind of man to a real wo-man
But he’s a REAL BIG FELLA TO HIS OWN RIGHT HAND!
Lilly shouted the last line, her fist pumping the air. “Let’s all sing it!” She yelled to the crowd. “He ain’t no kind of man to a REAL WO-MAN,” and they sang back with one loud voice:
“BUT HE’S A REAL BIG FELLA TO HIS OWN RIGHT HAND!”
Sally Beth was so embarrassed to hear those words coming out of her sister’s mouth that she had to distance herself from the whole scene, falling into the laughter of the music and pretending she was someone else while Lilly sang. The crowd went wild. Hats flew in the air. Women jumped up and down, laughing hysterically, and men gawked, whistled and stomped while Lilly and Edna Mae breezed through the chorus again. Sally Beth’s face flamed, but she tried to laugh through the rest of the song. The man who had humiliated her stormed out the door as the crowd jeered at him, then turned back and cheered the trio.
When the song ended, Sally Beth was breathless, and her feelings were so mixed up she didn’t know what to think. She felt such an outrush of love for her baby sister and this unreal super woman who this afternoon was too shy to put on lipstick, all painted up and strutting, slinging her hips and shaking her boobs around in front of a crowd just to vindicate her, little Sally Beth. On the other hand, she was embarrassed to death. She chugged her drink and hoped for courage. It didn’t occur to her to pray.
Edna Mae made a deep bow, exposing enough flesh to make the crowd cheer and whistle louder. “Thanks y’all. That was real nice of y’all. We enjoyed it a lot, and you just made Sweet Sally’s birthday. Come on, Sweet Sally, take a bow. She’s twenty-three years old today, and isn’t she the prettiest thing you ever saw? Our little princess. Our honky tonk princess.” There were more shrieks and whistles. Sally Beth blushed and made a tiny curtsey. She was feeling warm and really good. Sometimes liquor was just what you needed to get you through an embarrassing time, she decided.
“Now, we’re just leaving,” continued Edna Mae, “and we have a little suspicion that some little somebody just might be waiting in the parking lot for us, so we would greatly appreciate it if maybe one or two of you nice gentlemen would escort us to our car. Sweet Sally’s had enough excitement for one night. And, oh! By the way, who’s got our dinner tab this evening?”
“I got it, darlin’!” came a voice from the back.
“It’s on the house!” came another voice.
Edna Mae smiled again. “Thank you all so very much. And that pretty little lady over there is Charlotte, our waitress, and she needs a big tip, okay? A twenty ought to do it.”
“She’s got it,” came the first voice from the back, and Charlotte whooped. Lilly and Sally Beth gave their guitars back to the musicians in the band.
“Thank you,” Sally Beth whispered gratefully. The guitarist laughed as he stuck out his hand. “My pleasure, ma’am. You can come back any time.”
Everyone in the bar ushered them out. The obnoxious dance partner was nowhere to be seen, but Edna Mae kept looking around warily, even as she smiled and shook hands with people who were congratulating her. She slipped into the back seat of the car, Lilly got behind the wheel, and they drove slowly out of the parking lot. The crowd ran after them until they hit the street and accelerated.
“Don’t go straight back, honey,” came Edna Mae’s voice from the dark back seat. Wind around a little. Let’s make sure they aren’t following us. Something prickled Sally Beth’s scalp. It suddenly occurred to her that they might be in danger. “Let’s go to the downtown area and see if we can find the police station.”
Lilly objected. “I’ve been drinking, Edna Mae. We can’t go waltzing into a police station.”
There was a silence. “Okay. I don’t see anything, but we don’t want this guy following us. Drive into that A & W, and let’s just get something to drink.” They pulled in and sat for some time until the place grew quiet. “I guess it’s okay. I haven’t seen anything, and I don’t think that guy was too sober. Let’s go.”
Deep into the night, Sally Beth awoke to find Edna Mae standing tense and solitary at the window. The curtains were closed, but she gripped the edges as she peered out into the parking lot, like a sentinel standing guard over her troops. Sally Beth slipped out of bed.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered. “Is there somebody out there?”
“No,” answered Edna Mae. “Just checking.” She kept her face turned to the window, and in the filtered light, Sally Beth could see she looked sad and drained, as if a light that had blazed blindingly bright for a brief time had been extinguished.
“What is it, Edna Mae. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, honey. Go back to bed. I just want to stand here for a minute, just to make sure.” After a long silence, Sally Beth turned and got back into bed with Lilly, but she did not sleep until much later, after Edna Mae finally stopped her vigil and stumbled back into the other bed.
Lord, shine Your love down on Edna Mae and heal the hurts she is living with. Bring her a good man, Lord, one who will love her for who she is, treat her right, and make her feel special and safe. And Lilly, too, Lord. And maybe me, if You’ve a mind to, if that’s what You want for me. We all want to be cherished.