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"I think you are angling up at the last minute, Your Highness," said Ganymedes to Ptah as we stood twenty paces back from the line of targets.
"Here, nedjes," I offered, straightening his shoulders. "Keep your arm straight as you move the arrow back. It will follow through of its own accord."
"If I'm worrying about my arms, I lose track of the target!" my brother protested.
"That is all right," answered our tutor. "You should be relaxing your gaze so you feel the target more with your mind than with your eyes."
Ptah screwed up his face in concentration as he aimed his bow at the target once more. He pulled back on the string, took a deep breath, and released the arrow. It landed above the middle of the target, but closer than his last attempt.
"Excellent!" I cried with a clap of my hands. "That was much better!"
Ptah looked up at me with a happy grin in spite of himself. "Still not dead center, though."
"You do not have to hit an animal or enemy soldier perfectly to bring him down," replied Ganymedes. "Her Highness is correct, my Prince. That was much improved."
A servant approached our teacher and spoke something in his ear. He gave the servant a curt nod and then turned to us. "Pardon me, Your Highnesses, Theodotus has some matter or another he must speak with me about. I will return shortly. Nedjet, perhaps you would help His Highness through a few more practice shots?"
I nodded a he followed the servant off the field. Ptah wandered over to the rack and picked up a sword. "I wish I could spend more time on sword training. It's easier than aiming a bow."
I smiled at him indulgently. "Soon, little brother. I think that sword is too heavy for you yet, anyway."
He swung the sword up in a wobbly arc. "No, see! I can do it!"
"Careful!" I said with a laugh. "Stand with your feet apart so you do not tip over!"
He did as he was told, but gave me a mischievous look. "Pothinus would say you know far too much about military matters than is seemly for a lady."
"Well, Pothinus can think whatever he wants. I have no love of weapons, yet all the classics spend a great deal of time detailing battle. It is impossible not to absorb some instruction."
"He also says you read too much, like our sister."
"That is certainly true. Though I do not know what else he wishes me to do to pass the hours."
"You could try learning to sit quietly and not run about like a hoyden," another voice interjected. We turned to see Salvius sauntering towards us, tossing a pomegranate lazily into the air and catching it in the same hand.
I stiffened at his approach, though I kept my tone casual. "And you could make yourself useful rather than beating up on the servants, but alas, sir, we are all slaves to our natures."
He eyed me in sour amusement, as I felt Ptah shrink behind me. "You have always been a strange little cat, Arsinoë. All quiet watchfulness until someone backs you into a corner. Then your tiny claws come out. Though it is unlucky for you that you've grown so snappish. It is such an unfortunate defect in a woman."
"I could say I am sorry that I so displease your sensibilities, Salvius, but I think we both know that would be a lie."
He arrested the progress of the pomegranate and, in the same motion, grabbed my wrist with his other hand. I could feel Ptah's fist ball up a corner of the back of my chiton. "It's true. However, if you know what's good for you, you'll learn to be a little kinder to me. Your brother has promised you to me if I please. You should be grateful for such an advantageous marriage despite your mongrel blood."
"What a good friend you are to accept a prospective engagement to me and my dirty blood, Salvius," I sneered. "Will you hold your nose throughout our marriage or just through the ceremony?"
He tightened his grip and scowled. "I will take my rightful place in this House as a prince and you will learn to cleave to me if I have to school you every hour. You will obey me or I will break every bone in your body until you do. And there will be no one for you to run to."
"Be careful, sir," I replied evenly. "This is a dangerous family to join. Few of us die of old age... and you will have to sleep sometime..."
Salvius glared, but released my wrist and turned to leave. "Say your peace now, Princess. I will save every word and brand them on you letter by letter," he called over his shoulder as he strolled back towards the palace.
I waited until he was around a wall and out of sight before sinking down to my knees. Ptah clung to me from behind, his arms clammy around my neck. I patted him gently with my own sweaty palms. "It is all right, Ptah. Shh, he is gone."
"He can't have you," Ptah said in a frightened whisper. "I won't let him."
I smiled involuntarily. "I know, nedjes. You will protect me."
"If it comes to that, we'll run away."
"Where will we go?" I asked dreamily, my mind retreating from the dagger-edged future Salvius had shown me.
"We'll go to India, like Alexander did. We'll ride elephants and you will be a great queen."
"And what will you be, nedjes?"
Ptah met my gaze seriously. "I'll be your little brother, of course."
I tousled his curly hair fondly. "You will be my grand vizier. And when you have grown up, you will be the raaja and I will help you."
He rested his head against mine. "It is a good dream, Arsinoë."
"Yes. A good dream."
––––––––
I am curled up in my bed, asleep. I know not what I have been dreaming of, except that I unexpectedly feel the smooth, rhythmic lap of a tongue against my cheek. I open my eyes and see the sha resting its front paws on the edge of my bed, its burning emerald eyes lighting the darkness. And then I realize that this too is a dream. Seeing me awake, the sha transforms into my Lord who sits on the floor next to the bed, leaning one arm on the edge and the other on his knee.
"Stubborn child," he admonishes me. His voice authoritative, though devoid of anger.
I lay with my head on the dream pillow, looking at him. "My Lord knows me as perhaps no other, he knows this is one of my numerous faults. But what have I been obstinate about recently that summons the Lord of Confusion to me?"
"I — who shapes the thunder in the palm of my hand, who brings the sandstorm and the mirage, who slays Apep with the sword and the spear — I have come out of the Red Land and called you my beloved, Arsinoë Ptolemy-daughter. Do you doubt me?"
"No, my Lord. You have called me this and shown me great honor with your attention."
Now his face contorts in anger. Somehow I know his rage is not with me, so I am not afraid. "Then why does the Princess of Egypt not call upon me to smite the worm that dares threaten her with such blasphemies against her person, which the gods themselves have placed their mantle upon!"
I nearly laugh. In this moment I begin to truly understand the stories I have heard of the gods, both of Egypt and Olympus and elsewhere. I see that the foibles the sages decry as beneath their dignity are real, and to see the frustration in my Lord's eyes fills me with love, not pity. These flaws do not smear the gods and make them unworthy of our adoration, they make them beings whom we can touch and draw close into our hearts. I may be able to teach him as much as he sought to instruct me; not as equals, but rather as a relationship I already understand well, as that between a learned teacher and a cherished pupil.
I reach over and lightly place my hand upon Lord Set's. "Forgive me, my Lord. You must remember that I have lived all my life among dangerous people. Threats, however vile, are not novelties. I have long made my way believing I must protect myself and Ptah without anyone else's aid. I am not used to asking for help."
His expression softens. "I know this, nedjet. This is what makes you braver than you hold yourself out to be. I was carried away in my anger at the whelp who thinks he is worthy of being your bridegroom. Do not fear him, I will protect you."
"I know you will do what you can, though I also know the gods cannot always stand against the will of a Ptolemy. My brother desires this union."
"Unique kas can challenge the will of the gods," he answers meditatively. "Even your brother, Taui-Pharaoh, can sometimes do this because he has been hailed as king. But he is not as strong as you or your sister. His only hopes for success stem from the aid you or she give him. If you oppose his designs, he cannot carry the day. Certainly someone as lowly as a servant of his stands no chance. I simply desire you not to worry about this."
"With the word of Lord Set, I will not." I look at him dreamily. "Would you have truly smote Salvius where he stood, like in the old days?"
He smiles. "Perhaps, Beloved. I was most wroth. Only the gentle hand of my lady prevented me."
This was the first time my Lord had spoken of his wife, Lady Nephthys, goddess of the night and the ways of the dead. "I hope the Lady of the Darkened Hall is not uneasy about the kindly service her lord heaps upon this humble one."
He gives an elegant shrug. "Do not worry, she is as fond of you as I." Part of me does not take my Lord at his word, as I am not sure her displeasure has ever prevented him from much. He seems not to notice my discomfiture and continues on. "She said the time was not ripe and was correct as usual. So instead I come to you and rage at your self-possession.” This last part is delivered with a self-deprecating grin.
I sigh. "I do not feel self-possessed. I feel pulled in every direction as if the wind blew in all ways at once."
His face grows serious. "That is the storm that is to come, nedjet. Ever does it come closer. Be prepared for its arrival."
"Do you mean a war between my brother and sister? Every day their enmity grows, I cannot feel this joint rule will last."
“Eventually, Beloved. But first war will blow in from across the sea. Look for its sails on the horizon."
And then I wake up.