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"See how light the construction of these shields are? How they protect the whole of the body?" Sekhmet says to me as she hands over a Roman scutum.
I hold the shield in my hands, feeling the weight of it which is indeed lighter than that of the traditional round aspis I am used to, though the length makes it also feel unwieldy.
We stand in Roman battle armor, whose stiffness I am trying to adapt to. The designers clearly did not have young girls in mind when they made these. We dispensed with the heavy helmets, though being strapped with plating, daggers, and everything else, I feel I have enough to get going on. I run a hand over the metal umbo in the shield's middle.
"Can the umbo withstand the force of punching outwards in a defensive maneuver?" I ask the goddess.
"Yes, Ptolemy-daughter. The shields will resist Egyptian pikes at a distance and up close."
I frown as I tap the umbo with my knuckles experimentally. "So we must avoid ordered attacks on the legionaries if possible. Covert warfare in the streets and sea battles if we can organize a sizable fleet are our best hope."
Sekhmet nods. "Though shields or no shields, you must understand how the wolves of Latium wield their blades." She hands me a sword from one of the scabbards on her back.
I take the hilt in hand. "This I know. It is a gladius." I give it an exploratory swing. "It is heavier than I would like. The blade seems over-long for its purpose."
The goddess pulls out another gladius for herself. She too tests the weight, and frowns. "Hm. Yes, I shall have to assume a form better to teach you of this foreign blade." She closes her eyes, whispers a string of spells, and I watch as Sekhmet's form melts away and is replaced instead by that of Caesar's.
I try to remain steady, but I know she sees me flinch. "He is an excellent general, Ptolemy-daughter," she says as my mind works to reconcile the Lady of the Wounding Claws' words spoken with Caesar's voice. "Yet he is still only a man. You will not be able to outsmart him if you continue to be fearful of him. Now, prepare to defend against my attacks. What is the best way?"
She moves forward, and I instinctively block the thrust. "I think this blade is best for stabbing, my lady." I step towards her and jab the sword at her torso. "It can cut and sever, but these are not its strengths."
Sekhmet parries my attack. "Good girl. It is so." She whirls to the side and attacks again to throw me off balance.
I skitter a little, though recover quickly enough to knock her blade downward. "The steel is not particularly stronger than that which we make, it seems to me."
She pulls back to regroup. "Indeed, they are comparable. The gladii used by the legionaries here are lighter and not as strong as those the Latins use on their northern frontier." The goddess angles her next move higher to force me to block from above.
I lift my arms and place both hands on the hilt of the gladius to stop her downward motion. "I think my lady gives his lordship the Consul too much credit," I remark as I brace myself against her attack. "He might be a fine soldier, though I question whether his reflexes are still as quick as the Lioness of the Nile's."
Sekhmet chuckles in Caesar's ironic laugh. "Perhaps you are right, Ptolemy-daughter." Her face shifts again and a younger Caesar appears. He cannot be more than twenty. His features still bear their angular appearance, but the lines on his face vanish and his cheeks lose their sunkenness. He remains lean, though his limbs show a little more youthful flesh on them, and he looks stronger and more muscular. His light hair is long enough to fall into his eyes, which are the only part of him unchanged. That and his twisted smile, which is still leering at me.
Somehow, this helps. Here is not the great Caesar, master of Rome. This is an arrogant, untested youth like Salvius was. He is not so handsome as to leave me tongue-tied. I can see that, like my sister, it is the spark of his charm and intellect, rather than a face that could launch a thousand ships that draws people to him.
I break the hold of Sekhmet's gladius and swing my blade behind me, using the pommel to knock her off balance. She takes a step back to steady herself, and I take my chance to run at her, throwing my whole weight against her and knocking her to the ground. Straddling her middle, I abandon my sword, pull the pugio at my waist out of its sheath, and hold it to her throat.
Sekhmet beams at me with the young Caesar's face, which sinks back into the version I know. "Well done, child. I am pleased." She continues. "You can use this to cut a throat, but that is difficult in close combat. Go for the throat if you can, but you can also use this to slash a leg tendon to disable an adversary."
She reaches up and places her hand over mine on the dagger's hilt. "If you are lucky enough to catch an enemy without armor though, this is the best way." Caesar's armor vanishes and the goddess in his form lays under me in a simple tunica. She moves the dagger in our hands and points the blade midway down the torso. "Now take your other hand and find the edge of the breastbone."
When I do, seemingly running my fingertips along the chest of my sister’s lover until I find the bone’s edge, she goes on. "You stick the blade in at this point as hard as you can, then jab it upward under the ribs. The heart is there, as are the lungs, and many veins. This does too much damage for a foe to recover."
I nod mutely, hit once more by the enormity of these lessons. Caesar's form disappears and Sekhmet is herself again.
"Do not be afraid, Ptolemy-daughter. I know you will find your courage when the time comes."
And then I wake up.
––––––––
"You need to command the civilians to stay in their houses. We cannot execute the maneuvers we require in the streets if they continue to be underfoot," Achillas said to me as we headed to one of our vantage points near the Library.
"It was you and my brother, sir, who asked me to rally the populace to our cause," I answered shortly. "Do not blame me if they go about their tasks enthusiastically. Confusion in the streets favors us since it hampers the movements of the legion."
"War is the province of — soldiers — my lady. Civilians only get in the way."
I smirked to myself, noting he nearly said “men” instead of “soldiers.” Poor politic Achillas, trying to maintain the fiction that he believes I am a general at his side. "We are not engaged in a traditional war, Achillas. If the people want to fling rocks at the Romans, I will not be the one to stifle them."
"Even Ganymedes knows the throne is vacant when the mob rules, Your Highness."
I tossed my head. "Fine. What do you propose then?"
He grinned at me conspiratorially. "Organized rebellion, Your Highness. Structured involvement of noncombatants."
"Carefully laid plans rarely prosper in Egypt," I remarked. "This is a floodgate land."
"Trust me on this, my lady. No one has ever defeated a Roman army with schoolboys and housewives. We need the well-applied support of men strategically placed in Alexandrian society to crush Caesar."
I frowned. "Most of the nobles will not help us, even the ones who hate Cleopatra. They are too afraid of Caesar and the more sentimental among them think that they will endanger the pharaoh if they openly aid the rebellion."
He made a kind but dismissive gesture. "Oh yes, those spineless saps are a lost cause. I am talking of those with real power in Alexandria."
I looked at him. "And who are they, sir?"
"Those who sit highest among the merchant class, my lady. They have influence in the city, access to gold, and contacts outside the kingdom; in short, everything we need."
We rode on and I rolled this idea over in my mind. "Why would they help us any more than the lords? Rebellions are risky and bad for business."
"We are still the side of Ptolemy Philopator, the divinely anointed son of your father. He is the best hope for stability in this land."
"I do not think coin-loving men would place heavy bets on a boy king who cannot even shake a woman off his throne."
“Don't be a snob, my lady," cajoled my general. "These men are well-thought of throughout Egypt and some, beyond. They are just another kind of nobility."
"It is not their pedigrees that concern me. I worry for their loyalty. It is not as if they have offered their services to the pharaoh without prompting."
"As you said, Your Highness, they are cautious. They are also men who pride themselves on their manners. It is possible that they didn't want to speak to the House of Ptolemy out of turn."
I gave a little snort. "The fear of causing offense has never slowed the tongue of an Alexandrian."
Achillas reined his horse and took ahold of the reins of mine. "We need powerful allies, my lady. It paints a pretty picture when the people flock around you and cheer, but people as a whole are weak. It is the powerful who wield Fortune’s sword. We have good access to troops, but we need gold to keep them. The merchants can secure funds from spheres outside of the Queen's control."
"I agree we need more money for supplies and for the men, I simply think the merchants are too cozy with themselves — and possibly with Rome — to care what happens to us. I worry that courting them will make us appear weak in their eyes."
"Not if we present our case convincingly. And right now we are holding our own with the most venerable of Caesar's legions, that counts for more than a little!"
I rubbed my temple. "If only it did not feel so desperate to go to them. Maybe it would be better to ask Lord Ehoou-hanif and the elder lords to ride south into Nubia to seek aid. Or west to Libya."
Achillas made a quiet sound of impatience. "Forgive me for being blunt, Your Highness, but the power of the Lost Lords is long spent. If they had maintained influence in their desert farmhouses, you can be sure your father would've wiped them out so thoroughly, the bones of their ancestors would be ground from existence. They hold to a sliver of dignity because you yourself, in your lovely graciousness, have returned that sliver of relevance to them. If the young ones can fight, that is well. But that is all they are good for."
I grit my teeth at his words, but knew it would be fruitless to argue with his prejudices. "Very well, sir. If you think the merchants are capable of being convinced, we shall try. Have a message sent, and I will speak with them at their earliest convenience."
The general looked guilty. "Actually, this is not a task Your Highness will have to concern herself with. Some of the officers and I will take care of this." I gave him a quizzical glance, and he cleared his throat apologetically. "It's just, you see my lady, you are very young and these are men of the world..."
"You do not think I can treat with them? I have spoken to lords and great men all my life." Not to mention the gods themselves, I added to myself.
"I know this, but these are not lords. They are busy men whose time is valuable. I wish we had the leisure to show them your great worth, but we too are short on time."
I reached down to loosen his fingers from my reins. "If you think this is best, so be it.”
He dropped the leather and clasped my hand. "This is about the ways of these men, my lady. It would wound me terribly if you thought I was not your most ardent admirer."
His touch startled me, and I was frozen in his hold for a long moment, locked in his handsome eyes. Gradually, I remembered that we were stopped in the middle of the camp with many eyes upon us. "You forget yourself, General," I said hoarsely.
He immediately let go, yet his eyes danced with mischief. "Let them talk, Your Highness. They hail you as Queen, you may do as you please."
We continued on our way, though my heart was troubled by what had happened. I was worried for a meeting with the merchants that I was being shut out of. I was worried that Achillas attempted to smooth out that wrinkle with flirting. I was afraid I was too young and would fall for his game.
––––––––
We parted company eventually on our separate business, and I rode over to the docks where Tahu was organizing work gangs for shipbuilding. He bowed with a grin at my approach, though grew serious when he observed my expression. He made a few orders to the men under him and excused himself to my side as I dismounted.
"What is it, my lady?"
I briefly explained Achillas' plan to garner support from the merchants and my exclusion from it, leaving out the last parts. "Am I wrong to be concerned?"
"No, my lady. I do not think it bodes well that they wish to do this without you. At best, it is a slight against your talents."
"And at worst?"
He frowned and dropped his voice. "At worst it shows they, and perhaps the Pharaoh, are jealous of your accomplishments so far and are willing to risk failing to secure the aid of the rich merchants to keep you from having any claim if they succeed."
I shrugged. "I have no need of laurels, Tahu. If they wish a little victory for themselves, it matters not to me."
Tahu shook his head. "No, my lady, no false modesty. You are too clever for that and you know that you are in personal danger if you do not prove your worth to this cause. I also know the general is too cagey not to be aware of that. It worries me heartily that he would keep you from this meeting."
"But it does not surprise me,” I answered. “He may pretend otherwise, but he is my brother's creature, not mine. I would have to be very useful indeed for that to change."
He stroked his chin contemplatively. "There may be another path, Your Majesty. Another group, powerful in Alexandria, who may be persuaded to help us. Though I know not if Sir Ganymedes would approve of you aligning yourself with them."
"Who?"
He hesitated. "Does my lady know of whom I am referring when I speak of the Five?"
––––––––
By the end of the week, Achillas had arranged the desired meeting with the leading merchants of the city. When the time came, he cheerfully stopped by my tent with his hand-picked delegation before heading out into the city. "Wish us luck, Your Highness, as we go into battle!" he saluted with a deprecating sweep of his cloak.
"Indeed I do, sirs," I replied primly from my couch where I lay buried in my books. "Do not let the merchants sell you a trifling deal."
"Of course not, my lady! We will report faithfully for the cause of this army and our royals!"
"Of that I have no doubt," I said, as I flipped a page and gestured to my left. "For I am sending Quintus Fabianus with you as assurance."
"My lady! Is that really necessary?" Achillas balked, trying to remain merry as my Gabiniani lieutenant and I looked at him with amusement.
"Calm yourself, General,” I soothed. “I am simply sending him with you as an observer, he will not interfere with your negotiations."
Achillas struggled to give his practiced shrug of nonchalance. "If that would put your mind at ease, my lady, I would. Alas, I have given the host of our meeting a specific number regarding our attendants and it would put them ill at ease if we came with more men than was promised. Not to mention impolite on our part."
I fixed my jaw firmly. "Then one of your men must stay behind, sir."
He narrowed his eyes at me as minutely as he could, and for a moment seemed to find no words to counter me with. Finally he murmured, "Suspicions among friends are beneath the dignity of those such as us, Your Highness."
I could sense both Mudjet and Quintus tense up at the suggestion that the general and I were equals, but it was not important now. I caught Mudjet's eye to warn her off confronting Achillas over it.
"This is true, General. This is not suspicion. You yourself assigned Quintus Fabianus to have a care for my person and be my lieutenant. We came to an agreement that my presence at this gathering would perhaps hinder a settlement, even though I might personally believe otherwise. However, one of the benefits of having such a faithful aide as Quintus is that he can go places on my behalf when I am unable, for whatever reason. This meeting is a perfect illustration of that."
The general could not argue with my logic when he had been the architect of the situation, even if he now regretted it. So he capitulated as gracefully as he could manage.
"That is a fair assessment, Your Highness." Achillas glanced at Quintus. "And you, sir, have proven to be a loyal man to this cause so I welcome your help in this matter." He spoke quietly to one of the officers who saluted him and departed as the rest of the contingent exited my tent with only the most cursory show of deference.
I gave Quintus a sly grin. "Good luck to you, sir."
"I live to serve, Arsinoë Philoaígyptos," he replied with a wicked little salute and breezed out after Achillas' party.
After they had all departed, Mudjet made an angry noise. "Achillas is too bold with you, my lady."
"We need his help, my sweet. As we are so rarely in agreement, I at least must indulge some overfamiliarity to deflect away from calling attention to how often I contradict him."
"You are Queen in these camps!" she huffed. "The men have said so! Your will should be law."
"We both know that this is an army with several masters."
She crouched down to meet my eyes. "Then you must make yourself the sole master of it, my lady."
"I know this, but now is not the time to whip Achillas or my brother into seeing things from my view. They have their uses to us, remember? And I can only build my allies slowly in their shadow. It is all easier said than done."
––––––––
What transpired between Achillas and the merchants I only know of through Quintus Fabianus, and even his account is fractured by the Greek general's last attempt to shut me out of the proceedings by conducting most of the discussion privately with several of the lead men away from both delegations. He closed the door on his arrayed show of skill and strength to spite me, and I believe it was one of the reasons he left empty-handed. Suffice to say that the merchants were grieved to be sure, but they could not afford to alienate either royal party in this conflict and they, as high-ranking fathers of the capital, must remain neutral.
Aside from that, I also believe that even if he and I had been of one mind in this venture, it had been doomed to failure. These rich men had the most of anyone to lose in a civil war outside of those who might lose their lives. Their entire world was built on the quest for stability. Trade carries many risks, and yet the men who are most successful at it, the men whose help we sought, were successful at it because they found the safest path in an unpredictable world. These were not men who delighted in plying their own vessels through pirate-infested waters and haggling with peasants and thieves for a snatch of cloth or a handful of spice. No, these were men who had settled into comfortable lives in a civilized city while they hired out others with death wishes to hunt down their merchandise. It mattered not to them who sat on the falcon throne as long as the ships came in on time and tariffs were reasonable.
Though do not suppose I thought myself superior to their situation. My Ptolemy blood had not made my nose so long to look down over as that. Set had cautioned me against committing wholeheartedly to one of my siblings over the other, so how could I berate these men for doing as I had done? We speak of war as glorious, full of high ideals and pride, but at its deepest level it is only a larger vehicle for our personal self-gratification. The God of War's counsel led only to choosing one's self above factions and that is all any can do. It sounds very selfish, but what we fight for is only a mirror of our own desires and values. And there is always dark and light in that mirror.
Once Achillas had returned, I gathered my lead commanders to discuss what was next to be done. The Gabiniani officers drew out barricade maps for me to show our positions throughout the city and several of the Greek lieutenants updated us on the status of our standoff with the members of the legion positioned on Pharos. Meanwhile, Achillas sat morosely off to one side.
I turned to my tutor. "Teacher, how goes our access to shipbuilding materials?"
"Timber remains difficult to come by, especially for the quadrireme hulls, but we are managing for now. It would be better if we had better supply lines away from the ones in Canopus and those lines we share with the palace. Tahu’s plan has worked as well as we could have hoped, though it is not a permanent solution."
I nodded. "Lord Ehoou-hanif," I said, giving my attention to the old lord, "do you know of anyone else in the south who might be friendly to our needs?"
He bowed. "I will send one of our number to investigate our options at once, Your Majesty. I am certain we can procure the necessary supplies."
Achillas glowered at Ehoou-hanif and I gave my sulking soldier a sympathetic look. "Come now, General. Do not allow the merchants of Alexandria to sour our progress. Our army has done exceedingly well so far, thanks to the steady hands of our fine officers." I nodded encouragingly to those assembled and was pleased to see they seemed to accept the praise gratefully. "You yourself have done much of this. We are bound to suffer some setbacks, but we must not be disheartened by them."
He gave me a pained smile. "Your Highness is kind. However I fear that this failure will deliver allies into the hands of the Queen."
"It is possible, though I think the merchants will choose no side rather than that of our enemy. Either way, we shall deal with the situation as it arises. In the meantime, perhaps we can seek out other allies."
"I do not think we have the strength as of yet to recruit aid from outside the kingdom, my lady," said one of the Gabiniani. "And while it is noble of the populus to assist us, we do require the help of more powerful persons."
"We are coming off of drought years, Your Majesty," added Lord Amenei. "Even if the people want to help us, food and coin are in short supply."
"An army has many needs," I answered meditatively. "Food and gold are among its most pressing, but we also have a great need for information. It has been suggested to me," I paused, careful to avoid glancing at Tahu, "that we might entreat the Five to bring us information they glean in the course of their dealings, in addition to whatever other help they might be able to give as residents of our fair city."
Achillas let out a hoot of laughter. "Ha! Here you were telling me not to despair a moment before, Your Highness, and not two breaths later you believe things to be so dire that we need the feeble assistance of fleshmongers!"
A smarmy Greek officer leered at his commander. "Maybe they could have their charges exhaust the legion for us!"
"The fop in the northern Soma even has some boys we could send Caesar," barked another. "That would certainly give the Queen a fine fit!"
"I must agree with the general," said Ganymedes with a frown. "Though for my part it is because not only do I think those people have nothing of value to offer us, but also because it would be unseemly for a lady of your status to be seen in their company."
"I am a highborn lady leading an army against another highborn lady leading another army, teacher,” I countered wryly. "I would argue seemliness is already somewhat compromised in the eyes of many."
"You have been addressed not only as a queen among your supporters, Your Highness," answered my tutor sternly, "but as a goddess among many of your people. These are titles your sister lays claim to also, though with much less demonstrative evidence from outside the palace walls. Her reputation has already been compromised by her dalliance with Rome, yours has not. I do not want your good name associated with people of that character. It is important for you to maintain this moral advantage."
I fancied I saw Ganymedes give a pointed look at Achillas when he uttered his last remark, but the general's expression remained passive.
"I believe the Five would have information useful to us and would be more likely to align themselves with the mood of the city than with the palace, especially if we did them the honor of asking directly. Gentlemen, we need allies in Egypt more than allies abroad. If we can harness the energy of the people, I believe that our cause will prosper. However, if you all are of the opinion that this would be a misstep, I will close the matter." I looked around the assembly and was met by dissenting grumbles and shaking heads. Only Tahu and Quintus Fabianus remained silent. "So be it. We will not discuss it further. You may go about your business, sirs."
Everyone filed out into the camp until only those two men and Mudjet remained. "You did not do much to my defense, sir," I said to Quintus, pretending to be cross.
"I too have some concerns about enlisting the help of the Five, Your Majesty," he answered. "Though unlike the others, I am clever enough to know when you will do what you will without our approval."
I laughed. "Well then, I appreciate you keeping my secret."
He grinned and turned to Tahu. "I assume that it was you, sir, who put this naughty idea in our lady's head."
"It is true," said Tahu. "Not without reservations, though I will stand behind it as a plan with rewards for our cause."
Quintus nodded. "I know Tahu would never do anything to bring harm to Your Majesty, so if he is willing to follow you on this, you will have my support also."
"It is settled then," I said. "Tahu, can you arrange this meeting for us?"
He bowed. "It will be done, my lady."
"Good. Quintus, when the time comes, I will need you here running interference so that our absence will not be noticed."
"Of course, Your Majesty."
Mudjet smirked. "It has been too many weeks since we have slunk through the streets of Alexandria like thieves, my lady."
“We are getting rather proficient at it, are we not?” I answered in amusement.
––––––––
Three days hence, I was with the quartermasters, checking over our weapons stores so that they might take appropriate orders of our needs to the smiths in town, when Tahu appeared and beckoned me to his side.
"It is done, my lady. Tonight at midnight we meet with the Five."
"Thank you for this. Mudjet and I will be ready when you call."