Men often call for my attention from corners, car windows, and city streets. I roll my eyes hard and stick my chest out as to say, “Not today, brother.” They laugh and ask me why I always have a frown. I frown even harder, and then I have to stop and laugh at myself. Then I go on to explain:
“Say black, it’s like I get so tired of all these contradictions. You call for my attention and you like, Hey, Queen, sounding all smooth and honorable, right? Then when I lend you my ear, your true intent is revealed and all I can do … all I can do is shake my head and sigh. What makes it worse is you act as if you don’t know my plight. What’s scary is you just really might not. Words like ‘queen’ and ‘love,’ and things like sex and conversation have become so watered down to the point that knowing the truth is making it extremely difficult to cope. I feel like I’m in a maze, and I’m constantly looking for a way out. But “Check this out bra, I know that’s way too deep for you to process, ‘cause I mean you got problems of your own and your own plight, right? So I’ll simplify it and put it in words you can quickly digest. Why do I look so mean, you ask, King? Charge that to the Oakland in me. Charge this frown to my environment.”
Then they’ll look at me like I’m some type of heroine or something, like they see some type of glow around me, and back up. Then I get mad all over, like you ain’t never heard the truth spoken before?! I can see in their eyes, some of them become angry because a woman’s strong words make him feel small. Imagine that, a man green with envy over a woman. Pay close attention to that type, stay clear of him, for he is wounded and will destroy a woman and any future God has destined for her. Others are oblivious … their dumbfounded look is cute and it makes me laugh. Some want to come but know they don’t have the tools to stay, some are prideful and say to themselves they will be the one to conquer her … and there are a few who stare back into my eyes and express their pride in coming across a woman of my kind. Their eyes speak of their approval, their respect, and reverence. I in turn thank them with my stare. Let them know how much I appreciate them for seeing me, for honoring my process. For silencing my critics and hecklers. I smile, and continue on my path.