I started out looking for money to pay these bills. Once the bills were paid the taxes came, which took the money and forced me to pursue more because the bills increased. Then I went looking for a friend—but I was so tied up I didn’t know what my own reflection looked like, so I couldn’t recognize it in others. This made me extremely upset, impatient, and frustrated. So then I started seeking peace. But the world’s peace cost money and was temporary. I went back to seeking money. Money made me seek status and approval, made me seek things. Power made me seek control. Control drove me crazy. All of a sudden, I became a slave to this cycle of living. Powerless, restless, lonely yet too full of pride to say it. Surrounded by people who smiled, who laughed, and I laughed too, in order to fit in, to hide my pain. My laugh became fake. So did my smile. A horrible thing when something as precious and pure as a smile becomes tainted. Slowly the pressure broke me. My sanity. My spirit.
I was forced to lie down.
Forced to die.
What I thought was my demise was actually a new beginning
Breaking through the darkness entering into the new….
There was light
Life-giving light
Wisdom spoke and there was life
Wisdom speaks, and she said
“Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and HIS righteousness and ALL these things shall be added to you.”
I ate those words, digested them, and so….
This one thing I’m after, this one thing I’m after, that I may dwell in the house of the most high and gaze upon His beauty.
Treasure hidden in plain sight. True sight discovered while seeking through the ruins.