Praise for Parenting Our Parents
“A must-read for children of aging parents. Jane Wolf Frances writes from a firm base
of empathy and knowledge about a situation that—sooner or later—affects us all. Her
book provided me with trustworthy companionship and practical guidance in just the
right amounts. Extremely useful and highly recommended.”
—Darcie Sanders, trustee, Lyons Regional Library District; coauthor of Staying Home
“A brilliant, heartfelt, and very personal book that I believe will become indispensable to a great many people. It is filled with important information from a woman who has gained this wisdom the hard way. If you are in this parenting role or about to be, this is the place to start.” —Rick Moss, PhD, minister of religious science; developer of Awakening to Our Greatness
“As a caregiver for ten years and a gerontologist, I wish I had had this book at the beginning of my journey. Reading this was highly comforting and made me consider the honor it gives me to take care of my father. I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to savor it.” —Maria Siciliano, MSG, MPA, principal and founder of Gerontology in Action
“Parenting Our Parents takes the guesswork out of parenting older relatives and loved ones by helping the reader make informed decisions and offering both tools for communication and plans for going forward at a time when confusion and denial can run rampant. Her ‘how-to’ guide offers a process and understanding that can make this daunting journey not just bearable but truly an act of love. ” —Patricia Mitchell, broadcaster, life coach, and consultant, Certified POP Family Coach
“This book is a revelation, a generous, comprehensive, and wise guided tour of all the issues we confront in struggling to meet the needs of aging and increasingly dependent parents. It’s loaded with wisdom, practical advice, and inspiration on everything I and my family faced as our parents aged, got sick, and faced death, needing their kids more and more.” —Holly Knox, instructional designer (retired)
“Frances has written an extraordinarily valuable book for so many people who currently or will eventually care for their parents. She is an empathetic instructor who can help others with the difficulties of recognizing the signs that our parents need help and following through with those decisions that affect the lives of both parties. People need to read this book and keep it close—it will aid their hearts and minds and enrich their lives.” —Rikki Klieman, attorney and legal analyst
Parenting Our Parents
Parenting Our Parents
Transforming the Challenge into a Journey of Love
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD
Lanham • Boulder • New York • London
Published by Rowman & Littlefield
An imprint of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706
www.rowman.com
6 Tinworth Street, London SE11 5AL, United Kingdom
Copyright © 2019 by Jane Wolf Frances
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Is Available
ISBN 978-1-5381-2796-4 (cloth: alk. paper)
ISBN 978-1-5381-2797-1 (electronic)
TM The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National
Standard for Information Sciences Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials,
ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
Family photo of Dad’s four living Wolf siblings and families, including my childhood close cousins: Rick, to my right, later to become my “adopted brother”; Dick, to my left, later to create Law & Order.