WEEK 19 (Can’t sleep)

We did the amnio

But no matter its good sense

We failed you

We believed in the odds and not in you

Listened to science—Not ourselves

A needle in your mother to determine

How disposable you are

A needle that came so close to your thigh

You moved away

I saw it—I saw the needle and did nothing to stop it

I felt your mother’s hand tighten

I did nothing to stop it

Because in this world my Sun

Numbers have displaced Destiny

Science is stronger than soul

& we let ourselves be led

By the drumbeat of just in case

& just like that

The liquid was stolen—tested

& all was fine

The numbers were wrong—You

All right

But that night I couldn’t sleep

Kept up by the one question

I didn’t want to answer

What if the numbers had been right