Now that I watch your mother dreaming in sleep
Rocked by the rhythm of the train
Head against the window
Wide fields pouring past us
It all looks so inevitable
But in case you don’t remember
You came to us once before
In Paris one afternoon
Your mother felt funny
She went to the pharmacy &
Came out positive
All of a sudden nothing was the same
Not the sky spreading Spring
Not the Seine caught with light
Not even us
We took a walk instead
No hand holding so no thoughts
Only one look when we found
Ourselves in a store I don’t remember
& together we inquired separately if
That hat in blue satin came in brown
We left without an answer & sat
On a bench facing traffic
To blur the hollowness but the hollowness never left
Until you did
The morning of a week later when
Blood woke your mother &
The hollowness turned to pain
The pain to realize that you left because
We were not ready
But that was enough to tear the mask off all
The fear hiding behind
Those meticulous manicured voices
Wagging their reasons why not instead of
What if
& once we understood this
You came back & we
Are once again in Paris
On the same train
In the same room
With the same footsteps
On the same bench
Sharing the same silence
Not of hollowness this time
But wholeness
The wholeness that comes with peace
The peace behind the leap of faith
The faith we touched when we rested our
Hands over your mother’s belly
& on that park bench in Paris
Blessed you as best we could &
Thanked you for having granted us
This second chance