Sarge -- 4 Years Ago
I’d been to the diner so often my brothers were giving me shit about it, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. It wasn’t the food. It was the waitress. Or rather, the waitress who had vanished after a scorching hot fling. I’d told her I wasn’t ready to settle down, didn’t want more, but now that she’d disappeared it bothered the shit out of me. Where had she gone? No one seemed to know, or they weren’t saying. I’d even asked Wire to look into it, but I hadn’t liked what he’d discovered.
The woman I’d been sleeping with two years ago, the one I’d known as Lily Moran, was a ghost. From what Wire had found, Lily hadn’t existed before coming to our little Alabama town. Even trying to use facial recognition crap on his computer, he hadn’t been able to get any hits on her. Not before she arrived in town and not since she’d left.
I had to wonder if it had been something I said. She kept talking about starting a family, raising kids, and I’d shut that down fast. I already had a daughter, Pepper, who was full-grown and had a kid of her own. Had it really been a deal-breaker that I didn’t want rug rats under my feet? I was getting old, dammit, and I deserved to enjoy my life. Hell, Pepper had been a surprise. A pleasant one, but it didn’t mean I wanted to start over with a baby.
I was forty-eight years old, and biker years are like dog years. It was more like sixty for the average human. Hardly a young guy ready to change diapers. I did that for my grandson, Reed. And that kid was hell on wheels already. I couldn’t handle him for more than an hour or two without feeling like I needed to sleep a damn week. I didn’t know how Flicker managed it. I still wasn’t overly thrilled he’d claimed my daughter, but she seemed happy, and I had to admit he treated her like a damn queen. He was older than me, but that didn’t seem to bother Pepper.
“Sarge, I’ve told you we don’t know where Lily ran off to,” Margie said as she set my burger and fries in front of me. “How many times you going to come in here looking for her?”
“I know she’s not here, Margie. I guess I just hope that she’ll come back one day. Or maybe someone will remember something she said before she took off. Anything that might point me in the right direction.”
Margie shook her head. “Listen, I know you and Lily had a thing. She didn’t make no secret of it, but maybe it’s best you just let this one go. Not like there aren’t plenty of girls heading over to that clubhouse of yours all the time. You’re not hurting for company.”
No, I wasn’t. I still wished I knew where Lily had gone, though. I didn’t like that she’d run off and I couldn’t find her, make sure she was all right. Mostly, I wanted to know if I was responsible for the way she left -- in the middle of the damn night, just snuck out. I’d gone by her place the next morning to find it empty and her car gone. The diner staff had informed me she hadn’t shown for her shift, and she’d never been back.
I might be an asshole at least some of the time, but I didn’t like the idea she could be in trouble. She’d said she was alone, with no family, and I hated that she might be in need of help and not have anyone to call. If she’d insisted on leaving, I could have at least made sure she knew that I would come get her if need be. What had been so damn important she’d had to take off like that?
Maybe it was the fact Wire said she’d been here under a false name that made my nape prickle. Woman didn’t do something like that unless she was hiding. I only hoped that whoever, or whatever, she’d been running from hadn’t found her in the last two years. If I never found out what became of her, it might very well haunt me until my dying day.
I finished my food, left some money on the table, and left.
Wherever you are, Lily, I hope you’re safe.
There was nothing more I could do, and I knew it. I didn’t like to admit defeat, but if the woman didn’t want to be found, then that was it. I’d just have to move on and forget about her -- if I could. I hadn’t loved her, but we’d had a good time, and I did care what happened to her. If things had been different, if I’d been in love with Lily, then I’d have done whatever it took to keep her by my side. That just hadn’t been the case. She’d been sweet but too damn timid.
As my daughter liked to point out, I wasn’t getting any younger. The way things were going, I’d be six feet under and still alone. At least I knew Pepper and my grandson would be taken care of, because Flicker would kill anyone who dared to even look at them wrong. With each passing year, I had to admit I wouldn’t mind having what they shared. Hell, what half my brothers had for that matter. More and more were settling down, and I was starting to feel old sitting at the clubhouse with all the younger ones.
Time to move on, Sarge.
And that’s exactly what I planned to do… just as soon as the right woman came along.