I am indebted to many good, generous people in the making of this book.
The staff of the Suicide Information and Education Centre in Calgary, Alberta, were unfailingly gracious and helpful—thank you to Deana Franssen, Gerry Harrington, and Karen Kiddey. I am also grateful to Dick Ramsey, Dr. Bryan Tanney, and the late Roger Tierney for sharing their knowledge and experience with me. Menno Boldt, Kim Gernack, and Eli Allen Wolf Tail added to my understanding during my western research forays. For their insight, I also thank Pat Harnish of the Toronto Distress Centre, Ted Kaiser of Kids Help Phone, Rabbi David Marmur of Holy Blossom Temple, and Rev. Gordon Winch, also of the Toronto Distress Centre.
I also gratefully acknowledge the financial support of The Canada Council.
Invaluable help and friendship has come from Hilde Schiosar of the Samaritans of Southern Alberta; thank you as well to Wayne Carlson, and the Sams of Drum Pen.
Karen Letofsky’s rare combination of warmth and wisdom guided me through the healing and writing process, and kept me from heading down a few dead ends and mistaken pathways. I come away from all our conversations feeling I have gained new and deeper perspective.
For sharing painful personal stories, I particularly thank Norma Beattie, Don and Brenda Ebbitt, Wendy Lemon, Ken Mercer, Karen and Bruce Payne, and Debbie Roulette. I also thank those who asked to remain anonymous: Your reflections enlightened me greatly, and inform this book.
I would especially like to acknowledge and thank, for their encouragement, support, insights, suggestions, clippings, and many random acts of kindness: Oona Ajzenstat, André Alexis, Doug Bell, Dan Bortolotti, Tony Burgess, Theresa Burke, June Callwood, Jeffrey Canton, Cathy Collins, Kevin Connolly, the late Jim Cormier, Irene Cox, Lynn Crosbie, Lynn Cunningham, Andrea Curtis, Dr. William Davies, Connie da Silva Borges, Tim Falconer, Alyse Frampton, Ena Fry, Rachel Giese, Nora Gold, Phil Hall, Fern Hawker, Karen Heiber, Lynne Hussey, Kathleen Johnson, Norma and Roger Jones, Joe Kary, M. T. Kelly, Gordon Laird, Jackie, Lisa and Bill MacTaggart, Jeannie Marshall, Nancy Metcalfe, Daisy Moore, Dr. Frances Newman, Don Obe, Grainne O’Donnell, Sheree Lee Olson, Zdravko Planinc, Dr. Dinah Power, Scott Proudfoot, Alexandra Radkewycz, Pat Rakabowchuk, Laima Reiner, Norman Ringel, Rick Salutin, Bruce Serafin, Clare and Alan Thomas, Clive Thompson, Jane Willis, and Morris Wolfe.
A huge thank you to Iris Tupholme, for knowing what this book could be from the beginning, and letting it happen; also to Karen Hanson, for fine editing, and to Kathleen Richards, for her suggestions and eagle eye.
Special thanks to my sister, Jeannie Farr, and to Jo Robertson, for love and support in times that were rough on all of us. I also thank my father, Vince Farr.
For reconnecting me with many natural wonders, I am grateful to patient, happy-spirited Tony Beck.
Whenever I read the following passage from James Fenton’s poem, “For Andrew Wood,” from the collection Out of Danger, I give thanks for my enduring friendships. I also think of Daniel. I offer this in memory of him.
And so the dead might cease to grieve
And we might make amends
And there might be a pact between
Dead friends and living friends
What our dead friends would want from us
Would be such living friends