If you are with another person or a group, you should always stay together. Do not separate, do not split up, and never move out to far away from each other.
The breath in my ears doesn’t drown out the words I’m screaming in my head.
I killed that boy. I killed that boy.
I hear the man yell when he finds his son. His screams are followed by gunshots. Bullets spray around me, exploding dirt and clumps of grass.
I zigzag and spot Sadie way ahead, waving me on. She holds out her hand, waiting for me to catch up.
I reach out and grab it. The two of us race through the field, hand in hand. No girl left behind.
A few stray pine trees offer little shelter from any animal or madman. We scramble into a clump of palms and stop.
I lean over and press my hands against my knees to catch my breath.
Sadie gasps, “Oh my god. You’re hurt.”
That’s when I notice I’m covered in blood. My hands. My shirt. My pants. I frantically wipe my hands on my pants as Sadie fusses over me.
“Are you okay? What happened? Where is it coming from?”
I push her away from me. “Stop! It’s not mine!” My voice comes out louder than I intend.
Sadie freezes. She appears horrified and retreats a few paces. “Grace? Whose blood is it?”
Jerking a bandana out of my bag, I bend over a puddle and frantically wash my hands. The water turns from a muddy brown to a bright red.
“Grace?” Sadie says. Her voice is slow and deliberate as if she’s choosing her words carefully. “What happened back there?”
I freeze, hunched over, and hang my head. My reflection stares back. A stranger. The horrific scene replays in my mind. The boy attacking me. Me grabbing the knife. The boy jumping on me. And then, all the blood. His words haunt me. Run! Even after I hurt him, even knowing he was about to die, he tried to warn me. Protect me from getting hurt.
I can hear his voice as if he’s next to me. Run!
When the movie ends, it replays all over again. Though the edges and details are foggy. None of this makes sense. Like it didn’t really happen.
“Grace?” This time Sadie’s voice is calm. Her hand touches my shoulder.
“I killed him.” I shake my head as tears stream down my face. “I didn’t mean to.” I can’t stop wiping my hands. Over and over. But they won’t get clean. “He just kept coming.”
She squats next to me and grabs both of my hands to stop me from scraping on my own skin. “It’s okay.”
I glance at her through blurry eyes. “Is it? Because I don’t think it is.” I dry my hands on my pants but they’re still tinged pink, reminding me of what I’ve done. Not that I will ever forget.
“He jumped you. I saw him. He would have killed you.”
My lips don’t seem to form any words, but I hear them pour out. “I fell. The knife popped out of my hands. I grabbed it but...” My voice fades.
Sadie doesn’t say a word. Her expression doesn’t even change. She has no judgment. No questions. She just listens.
I muster up the energy to finish. “He jumped on me, and I...I didn’t mean to, but he landed on top of me. The knife was in my hand. I think I held it out in instinct but I’m not really sure what happened...”
“It’s not your fault.” Sadie lifts my face to her level. “What else were you supposed to do Grace? It was him or you.”
I sit back on my butt and bury my face in my hands. “I killed him and then he said he was sorry. To me. I killed him and he apologizes. How did this happen? I can’t even kill a cockroach.”
Sadie frowns. “Look, it sucks that kid is dead. But these guys started all this. A bunch of backwoods freaks kidnap us and drag us out in the boonies. Then they let us go, hunt us down. They sic some mutant tiger on some poor girl and probably killed the boy that’s still missing. And that’s who we know of. As far as I’m concerned, you did what you had to do...to survive.”
“Maybe.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. The only part that isn’t stained pink with blood. “But that means I’m no better than any of them.”
She shrugs. “You didn’t kill that kid in cold blood. Even after he attacked you, you tried to warn him. Asked him to stay away. I heard you. But he just kept coming.”
A deep yell breaks my trance. “If you find her, I want that girl myself.”
Sadie and I peer over the tall grass. She teeters on her feet and falls backward like she’s going to pass out. I catch her and help her sit down on the ground.
“Hey? You okay?”
She holds her head between her knees. “I’m fine. Just a little dizzy.”
“That’s normal. Let me see.” I make her turn away and check her leg. If she sees how bad it looks, she’s going to freak out. The bite is black and purple and very swollen with large nasty white blisters. She’ll probably lose a good chunk of her leg. I quickly rewrap it and secure the plastic bag. “We have to get you out of here.”
“But they’re still coming.”
I watch the grass, listening for any movement the men are moving in our direction. The boy’s face fills my mind—eyes open, gawking at the sky, as if he was hoping that’s where he would go. I’ll never forgive myself. Justified or not, I took someone’s life. A kid. Someone’s son. Probably someone’s brother.
A lump forms in my throat. “I didn’t even know his name.”
Sadie rubs my back. “Would that have made a difference?”
“I guess not, but it feels so personal. I should have asked.” A gunshot cracks in the distance. “And that poor boy’s dad is mad as hell. I killed his kid. He’ll never let up on me now.”
“Grace?” Sadie whispers. “For all you know, they killed Dylan.
I snap my head in her direction.
She stares at the ground and picks a weed.
“Why do you say that?”
She rolls her eyes. “Please. I saw Dylan’s necklace around that boy’s neck. I gave it to him. I’d know it anywhere.”
I pat my pocket and pull out the alligator claw. I’d almost forgotten it. “I got it back for you.”
“Thank you.” She holds out her hand and I drop it in her palm. She stares at it and tears fill her eyes, but they never fall.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” I say. “He’s strong. You know that.”
She wipes her eyes and shakes her head. “I don’t know. He’d never let anyone take this necklace.”
“Maybe it fell off.”
She glances at me with narrow eyes. “We both know that didn’t happen.”
The next gunshot is louder. Closer. They’re gaining on us.
“We have to go.”
Sadie shakes her head no.
“Sadie, we have to go.”
“I can’t.” She ties the black cord around her neck and strokes the alligator claw with her fingers. “I need to go find Dylan.”
I shake my head hard and tug on her arm to get her to stand. “No. That’s impossible.”
“It wasn’t a question.” Sadie pulls my hand off her bicep. “Grace, I have to do this. I can’t leave this hellhole without knowing what happened to him. I have to try.”
I shake my head. “You can’t. You need to get to a hospital. You could lose part of your leg if you don’t get that anti-venom. Cottonmouth bites...”
She holds up one hand to stop my Public Service Announcement against snakes. “I don’t care. I love Dylan. He’s more important than my stupid leg.”
“Fine. Then I’ll go with you.” I say it, but it’s not what I want to do. At. All. “I’m not letting you go on your own.”
“No!” She stands and winces. “You need to get back. Nail these bozos. Tell everyone what’s going on before some other poor teen who’s left home on a whim gets killed.”
“Can’t leave you out here.”
“You’re not.” Sadie straightens up, trying to act real tough. Though I can see she’s hurting. “I’m leaving you.”
“Sadie, please. You can’t do this. You’re hurt.”
“Let me ask you something.” She presses her lips tight, telling me she’s not going to budge on this decision. “What would you do if it was Mo?”
“What?” The name pricks a hole in my heart. I try not to think about Mo a lot. I miss him so much. More than ever. Especially out here, when he’s all I think about. But Sadie and I have never talked about Mo so I wasn’t expecting her to bring him up now.
“Dylan’s told me how much you love Mo. He said you talk about him all the time. I guess Mo asked Dylan to watch out for you so I know Mo feels the same way about you. What would you do if Mo were out here? Alone. And you thought he might be hurt?”
My body sags. I remember that time it happened. Mo was on the hill and took a bullet for my dad and I didn’t want to leave Mo behind. The only reason I did is because my dad was in bad shape and Al was hunting us down. But if Dad wasn’t there with me, I never would have left Mo on that hill to die. Not in a million years.
“Well?”
I sigh. “I would have gone looking for him.”
“Exactly.” The way she says it confirms one thing. Nothing I do or say will change her mind. She’s going after Dylan whether she should or not.
“Fine. I’ll only let you go on one condition.” I pull off my backpack. I take a small string bag and throw in the first aid kit, a protein bar, the canteen, a Swiss Army knife, and a few other useful things she might need. I keep my bag with a bar, water filter kit, and my knife, and hand her the makeshift survival kit. “Take this.”
“What if you need it?”
“I won’t. I have what I need and if not, I know what to do. My dad taught me a lot. You need this stuff way more than me. Don’t forget I’m heading home. You’re heading...”
“...Back into hell.” She tries to laugh it off but I can see she’s scared. “Are you saying your dad can kick my dad’s ass?”
I smile. “Definitely.”
“You’re probably right. But I have Dylan and he’s taught me a lot more than you think.”
I hold out the pack for her to take. “Stay hydrated and don’t forget to keep changing your bandage. There’s enough gauze in there to last you. Keep it dry, and if you get an infection....”
“I know. I know.” She grabs the string of the pack. “Infection equals bad.”
I hug her tight for a few seconds longer than I should and pull back. “Sadie, be careful. Lay low. These guys aren’t as dumb as you and Dylan think. I’ll send someone after you as soon as I get back.” I hand her my compass last. “If you get lost, remember to head due west. You’re bound to hit the Gulf at some point.”
“What about you?”
“I have my GPS watch.” I hold up my wrist to show her. “And my wits.”
Sadie smiles, “Oh, well then you are better off than me. I lost mine a long time ago.” She turns to walk off. “See you on the other side.”
I hold up my hand as she waves. “You better.”
Inside, I’m torn. Part of me wants to go with her. Yet, the other part knows I need to get home. This thing isn’t over yet. And these men are still hurting people.
I shove my knife into the back of my belt and watch Sadie walk off into the bright sun.
I pray she’s right.
I hope I’ll see her again.