PREGNANCY AS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR TRANSFORMATION
‘Pregnancy is a path that will take you beyond your mind and body. It will enliven your compassion and reveal the most intimate truths of your soul.’
— Deepak Chopra
Create a Whole New You
The mothering instinct epitomizes strength, resilience, tenderness, empathy and empowerment of the female force within you. By appreciating this immense power, pregnancy can be a possibility for metamorphosis on every level of being; be it looking at life from a whole new perspective, adopting a healthy lifestyle, overcoming destructive patterns of thinking and behaviour or reworking relationship dynamics.
Allow yourself this opportunity to find your perfect balance. Finding the perfect balance within is finding the real you; yes, the authentic person that you are and always have been, buried possibly deep under the layers of projections of others and of yourself.
Start now. Your past is insignificant. There is no competition or any time lost as your life is your unique journey. You are starting an internal process that will mature in its own way. Every day, every thought you make and every action you take will make all the difference. As you continue to seek more and more, the exact resources that you need will seamlessly appear. This is the law of the universe and the nature of every journey.
Once in a while, relax and visualize yourself as your true, authentic self in all its magnificence. See what you are doing, how you feel, what your thoughts are and how you respond or react. Let it play like a clip in your inner eye. You might see yourself doing something that you've never made time for previously. In that moment, without judgement, just feel how right it feels to you. Write about it, if you can, to solidify the vision.
Now, know that in all your current circumstances, this version of you is possible. In fact, it is not only possible, you are it already. Uncovering yourself from the layers is all that is required. This 'true you' deserves complete self-expression. She has a lot of good to give to the world around her. She deserves all the good that the world has to offer her—materially, physically and spiritually.
Do not be in a hurry to materialize her. The process is meant to be joyful and insightful. Similarly, the child you carry is no setback or delay; it is very much a part of the plan in uncovering the highest you. There is perfect order in the world.
Ask Yourself:
We are deeply conditioned to belittle and criticize ourselves. The quest for wholeness has no place for it. An attitude of unconditional self-love is the pre-requisite for true harmony. When every past trauma becomes a lesson, every doubt and fear is embraced and invited as a part of ourselves to be worked upon, and every error becomes a pointer for the future, only then do we give ourselves the best environment to uncover our true selves. Embrace yourself completely and wholeheartedly.
A New Relationship With the Self
Every relationship that you have or will have mirrors your relationship with yourself. Understanding your psychology is essential. You may not like yourself for your past mistakes, angry outbursts or any other negative traits. Stop condemning yourself and move on to a completely nurturing relationship.
Acceptance of all your negative qualities implies that you quit an attitude of denial. Look at every such trait or repressed emotion as an opportunity to further improve yourself, allowing yourself all the time you may need. Is this any different from parenting a child?
You have to feel worthwhile and accepted in your own eyes before you try to connect with your baby. This can only be done by processing your past experiences through the prism of positivity.
I Affirm:
I place myself at the centre of my universe. I feel unbounded, unconditional love for the person that is me. I commit to help myself without judgement and criticism. My complete well-being in body, mind and soul shall be my priority.
A Phase for Reflection
‘During pregnancy, the mother’s joy and pleasure are the forces that provide her baby with perfect organs.’
— Rudolf Steiner
Pregnancy is a precious opportunity to be mindful and reflective and to explore your core beliefs. This can only be done by examining your deepest feelings and the complete spectrum of thoughts. By doing so, you can release the patterns that don’t serve you anymore and move towards those that empower and serve you better.
Revisit Your Childhood
On your parenting journey, your past will play itself out constantly, whether you are aware of it or not. There is an unbelievable amount of conditioning that a family passes on from generation to generation. Our core beliefs about life, sexuality and relationships; our addictions to drugs, alcohol or work; our behaviour, ethics, empathy, food habits, etc. are all modelled from parents and family members. This is true even when we act exactly the opposite of them. Often, we are not conscious of this modelling.
Your parenting style, capacity to connect with your child emotionally, management of stresses in the parent-child relationship and ability to nurture will most likely be modelled on your own parents. Whatever it has been, you need to release the limitations imposed by your upbringing by a conscious processing of the experience, bringing all the repressed hurts and pains to light.
You will need to evaluate your responses and reactions on a daily basis. Examining them will involve digging in to find their roots in the past, but once it is done, you can truly transform the relationship with your child.
For example, if you were often disciplined by physical punishment, your suppressed resentment, violence or anger will resurface with your own child exactly around the same situations. Don’t you think parenting is an opportunity to heal from all we have faced?
Our relationship with our parents forms the foundation of our relationship with the universe or the supreme power. When the parent represents security and nurture to a child, she/he will internalize the belief that the universe is loving and nurturing. For self-expression, spontaneity and eventually self-actualization, this sense of security is a must.
I Affirm:
I feel I can arrive at a place of peace within myself. I assimilate all past experiences as lessons, releasing all pain and judgement from them. I see myself with more love and wisdom for my future than ever before.
Complete Your Past, Heal Yourself
If we don’t ‘complete’ the past, we bring the wounds and complaints of the past or the meanings that we have created from it into the present and the future.
Completing the past consists of forgiving ourselves and forgiving others, knowing that we all are only capable of being what our total conditioning up to that point in life has made us out to be.
Forgiveness is not the same as denial of wrongdoing, which is a very common attitude towards one’s parents. There is much pain in accepting that parents, who are often regarded as our greatest ally, may have been toxic to us. Yet, true forgiveness lies in processing our pain wholly and then letting go of the judgement, knowing that we all make mistakes.
Ask Yourself:
A New Loving Relationship
‘Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of love.’
— Maureen Hawkins
With your daily responsibilities along with the newborn, you will often find that following the routine is all you can make time and energy for. This is where the relationship dynamics that you and your baby both evolved before childbirth can come to your rescue. There will be an already existent loving relationship that does not have to be built from scratch.
By making time for stillness, relaxation and mindfulness, you will allow yourself to build a beautiful bond. To feel an intimate connection with your baby’s physical body, remember that it is your body in this moment. Intuitively and gradually, the bond and exchange will become stronger, as you understand the sensations and movements.
I Affirm:
I connect intuitively and effortlessly with my baby and in this unbounded love, I am never alone. Through all that I sing, speak or do to my child, our bond strengthens every moment.