Will had been waiting all day to see Donnie. Oh, he’d had plenty of visitors—who knew he’d made so many friends in the few weeks he’d been working at the surgery?—but there was only one person he really wanted to see. Even then, he was swamped with relief when he saw Donnie striding purposefully across the ward at visiting time. For a moment there, he’d wondered if Donnie would come at all.
“Thanks for visiting me. You don’t need to. It’s not as if I’m in intensive care.”
“Of course I need to. I will until you’re discharged. We’re dating, remember?”
Oh, thank God. “I… wasn’t sure.”
Donnie frowned, but Will rushed on, “I can leave tomorrow morning after doctor’s rounds. They want one more night of observation because I live alone and don’t have someone who’ll check in on me.”
“You have me,” Donnie said softly. “I can come and look after you. Unless you don’t want me at your place? When I last asked…”
Will’s heart jumped like a gazelle: he didn’t know why alarms didn’t go off in the ward. “Oh my God, I never meant you to think you were unwelcome.” In all honesty, his own apartment felt less like home than Donnie’s flat. He hadn’t found the words to explain all that, not yet. But he would, and soon. “I don’t know what to say. I would love that. If you would consider it.”
“One thing you must be honest about.” Donnie was still frowning. “You sure it wasn’t something you ate? My curries can be pretty spicy. I’ve never managed to hold back on the chillies.”
“For God’s sake! Donnie, absolutely nothing about this is your fault.”
Donnie blinked hard. Maybe Will’s tone had been a little too strong for the busy ward. The staff nurse at the door had raised his head from his notes, and the trainee nurse helping another patient to the toilet looked over and winked over at Donnie.
Here goes. “It’s my fault. Entirely my problem. I have a confession.”
“Are you ill? Broke? Married?” Donnie grinned a little nervously.
“No, no, and no. But…” He took a deep breath. Time to face the music. “I have diverticulitis.”
“What?” Donnie looked alarmed now.
“It’s not life-threatening. It’s an inflammation in the intestine. I’ve had it before, and the doctors said I might get it again. Yes, spicy food is often a bad idea, but double helpings are entirely my fault. Plus, there were nuts in the meal at the restaurant—nuts and seeds have been triggers for me in the past. I ignored the early pains as indigestion.”
“Why would you do that? We could have asked for no nuts. Another dish. Why on earth—?”
“I didn’t want to tell you,” Will said wretchedly. “I thought it might never flare up again. Classic symptoms of denial, I suppose. I wanted to pretend I’m as fit and healthy as someone much younger. Dammit!” He was blushing now, couldn’t hold it back. “Someone younger like you.”
Donnie shook his head wearily. “If you’d said you were in any kind of real discomfort—”
“I know, I was… I was embarrassed. Vain.” God, this was mortifying! But didn’t Donnie deserve to know what kind of man he was getting close to? “I didn’t want you to think I was an old man, I suppose.”
“An old man?” Donnie looked as if he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.
“It can happen more regularly as you get older. All sorts of intestinal things can. And last time it happened, they were worried I might develop an abscess.”
“That sounds more serious.”
“Yes. But this time it’s…”
“Fine?”
Was Donnie teasing him? “It’s clearing up nicely with antibiotics. No danger of anything worse.”
“Will?” Donnie ran his palm slowly, caressingly, up Will’s arm. Every little hair along its path lifted and sighed in pleasure. “You’re not a pensioner yet, you know.”
Yes, that was teasing! “For God’s sake—”
“And I’d still want you, even if you were,” Donnie whispered.
There was a moment of golden silence, when Will felt tears threaten at the back of his eyes. “You would?”
“Stop fishing for compliments,” Donnie said with a return of his grin. “My sexy silver fox.”
Will wondered if he kissed Donnie, would the great might of the NHS come raging down on him? “In the continuing spirit of confession, I should tell you I was genuinely scared when the pain first hit. It’s crippling. I think I must have blacked out. That’s when I fell over the bloody dustbin and hurt myself.”
Donnie’s eyes were wide. “Will, did you think you were gonna die?”
“Shut up.” But maybe he had. It had been early morning, no one around, and he’d been brought double with the sudden pain in his belly. He’d thrown up, his vision was blurred, and everything hurt to touch. Stumbling towards the exit onto the street, he’d felt his knees buckle and his head swim, and he’d given one single, anguished cry. That was all he remembered. Thank God that attractive guy from the bar had found him and called 999.
Donnie took his hand. From the look on his face, Will thought he might have taken him in his arms, if they weren’t in a crowded ward. He couldn’t get out of here fast enough so that could happen.
“I wouldn’t let you die, you idiot.”
Will actually believed him. He’d never known such a swell of joy. “I’ve been an idiot about lots of things—an arrogant one—all along.”
“But it’s okay now,” Donnie soothed him. “You’re okay. Everything’s fi—”
“Shut up!” Will said again, louder this time, then flushed.
“Mr Cartwright?” The nurse paused at the end of Will’s bed. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes. Of course,” Will saw the nurse glance at Donnie then back to Will. “I’m trying to apologise to my boyfriend, but he keeps making excuses for me.”
The nurse smiled. His eyes crinkled nicely at the corners when he did. “I’ll leave you to it then. Those things deserve proper attention.”
Will nodded as the man trotted over to help someone in the opposite bed. “He said it.”
“Said what? You were shouting, Will.”
“He said those things deserve proper attention. I’ve had time to think while I’ve been stuck in here. How much I enjoy being with you. But how poorly I’ve treated you.”
“It’s been that kind of day,” Donnie said oddly. He looked both flushed and a little confused. “And I wouldn’t exactly say that. You gave me a job, you let me loose on your filing system. And there are other things.” Donnie glanced quickly around the room, a twinkle in his eyes, and then lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “I haven’t come that hard from a fuck for ages.”
Will wondered how quickly he could reach the side table and pull it over his suddenly swelling crotch. “But Donnie, the very thing I treasured about you, your kindness, your tolerance, your desire to help. That’s the very thing I took advantage of. Just like everyone else seems to do.”
“Well, I don’t think anyone notices me that much.”
“That’s bullshit.” Will really liked the flush that blossomed on Donnie’s bemused face. It looked good enough to warm his hands on. “Everyone does. We all need to let you know, that’s all.” He peered more closely at Donnie’s flush, that he’d thought was embarrassment. “There’s a glow about you today. What’s been going on?”
“I’m… not sure I can talk about it just yet.” Donnie’s smile was the sweetest thing Will had ever seen. “I’m just glad we’re here together again. And I’ll be going home with you tomorrow.”
Will’s resolve faltered. “My apartment… it’s not exactly cosy. Not like your flat. It’s full of…” He hated saying this, but he hadn’t been honest enough about it to date, and now it was important.
“Things from your world?”
“No! Well, yes. But that’s the point! I don’t want that world any longer, Donnie. I want yours.”
“My world is you,” Donnie said, eyes twinkling. “Wherever it is.”
“Well then, you’re more mature than I have been about it. I hadn’t realised what a treasure you are.”
“Don’t. That sounds weird.” Donnie really was embarrassed now. “I just want you.”
God, but Will wanted to go to bed with him! That way Donnie teased his lower lip when he was thinking was so sexy. Will was going to need a bigger table to cover his crotch. “I want you too, but I’ve gone completely the wrong way about it. Using you to run the crap things in my business.”
“Will, I love the job. I want to help my friends. I want to help you.”
“And my God, you have. You’ve brought light into my life.”
Donnie gave a small gasp. “I know. I mean, someone told me you said that.”
“They did?” Maybe Donnie would tell him about that later, too. “You’ve helped me in a place and at a time when I didn’t know my way around. You’ve made me bold, Donnie.”
“You mean, in bed?” Donnie sniggered.
Table alert! “Yes. That. But in my business, too. I hadn’t realised how much I care about my new practice. I’ve been lying here thinking about the clients, the pets, what better things I can do. About what you’ve contributed to the business, how we’ve been making decisions about it together, even if I haven’t always acknowledged that. About working with you every day.” And wasn’t that the best thing of all? “I didn’t know I could feel this fulfilled. To hell with whether I buy another property in the future which, by the way, I’m putting on hold. I’m thrilled with what I’ve got right now. I’ve never been so proud of anything in my life.”
Donnie sighed. “That’s perfect,” he said, his voice a little shaky.
But Will was going to put it all out there, now he’d started. “I’d been thinking you needed protection. I thought you were naïve, thinking the best of everyone, not getting riled. Wasting—no, sharing—your time with everyone who asked. Putting others first at your own expense.”
“You make me sound like the worst kind of do-gooder.”
“No. You’re Donnie Watson and you’re a good friend. And you care. You don’t judge.”
“I never judged you, Will.” Donnie looked ominously close to tears. Will suspected he looked the same but luckily there were no mirrored surfaces nearby. “You’re so much better than me.”
“No!” Will’s voice came out as almost a wail. “That’s exactly what I mean. You’re the best. You’ve kept the practice going. You’re back on the fundraising committee and in your element. Everyone likes and wants to help you. You love your family and they love you, they depend on you.” He swallowed hard. “I realised I envy you your life.”
“But maybe not my lumpy sofa. You think I haven’t noticed you wincing every time you get up from it?”
It was okay if Donnie joked, to keep his equilibrium. Donnie had always been serious and honest enough with Will in the dark of the night, and showed his respect in everything he did for and with Will.
“I hope you can find time again for me,” Will said softly. He had his fingers crossed under the sheet. “But I’m not demanding it.”
“You don’t need to. And, you know what? Sometimes I love you protecting me. Worrying about me.”
And then—glorious delight!—Donnie leaned over the bed and kissed him on the mouth. No tongues, but it was a beginning.
“William?”
The sharp, female voice cut across the ward like a well-modulated scalpel. Two people were approaching Will’s bed.
“Oh fuck,” Will murmured and sank back on his pillows.
“It’s Liam,” Donnie hissed.
“And my mother,” Will groaned.