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Abigail finished serving the hot chocolate and pastries before sitting next to Gemma on the divan. Her friend struggled to hold the plate with her swollen belly getting in the way.
“Should you have made the trip to Colebourne Manor?” Abigail asked.
Gemma rubbed her stomach. “You sound like Barrett. He is a mother hen, hovering over me constantly.”
“Perhaps because you are due to give birth any day now,” Charlie drawled.
Gemma waved her statement away. “Nonsense. I have a month left, and Barrett’s carriage is fit for a queen. I am no more ready to give birth than Jacqueline.”
Jacqueline smirked. “I have two months before my baby makes its arrival.”
Evelyn took a sip from her cup. “Either way, neither of you should have traveled. We were scheduled to arrive in London in a week.”
“Now tell them the real reason you risked the visit,” Selina chastened her.
Gemma gave Abby an impish smile. “I wanted to be here for the success of Uncle Theo’s last match.”
Abby frowned. “There will be no match between Lucas and me.”
Selina coughed behind her hand, muttering, “Bollocks.”
Charlie laughed. “I see with your marriage to Duncan you have acquired a more colorful vocabulary.”
Selina waggled her eyebrows. “Among other skills.”
“Yes. I can see where you would,” Charlie replied.
“Ladies, let us focus on Abigail,” Jacqueline reprimanded them.
Gemma glanced back and forth between Abigail and Selina. Abigail glared at Selina while Selina’s face held a secret she was dying to reveal. When Selina arched her brow at Abigail’s glare, Abigail’s cheeks turned a charming shade of pink. Their exchange stoked Gemma’s curiosity to learn what had happened between Abigail and Lucas. If Abigail’s blush was any sign, they had shared more than a kiss.
Gemma bombarded Abigail with questions. “He finally kissed you! How was it? Was it everything you imagined it to be?”
Abigail brushed away some imaginary crumbs off her lap. “No, he did not,” she denied.
“Bollocks!” Charlie looked over at Selina. “It is most exciting to declare, is it not?”
Selina nodded. “Yes!”
“If you two do not behave, we must ask you to leave,” Jaqueline scolded them.
Selina and Charlie tried to hold in their amusement but failed. They broke out into another round of giggles. It was hard to believe they had once been mortal enemies, always striking out with revenge whenever their paths crossed. Now they contributed in calling out Abigail in her denials. She might as well confess before Selina told her own version of the story.
“I confess. Lucas kissed me yesterday while we took a picnic. But nothing else happened.”
“Abigail?” Selina warned.
Abigail tried to look innocent. “What?”
“How do you explain your grass-stained skirts, disheveled hair, and lips that looked beyond ravished if you shared only a kiss?” Selina asked.
“The same way her hair and lips look this morning?” Charlie tilted her head.
Selina nodded. “Exactly.”
Abigail blew out a breath, realizing her assumptions stood correct. Selina would blab of all her indiscretions if she didn’t confess herself. “Fine.”
“By Selina’s description, can we assume our cousin has overstepped his gentlemanly manners and seduced you?” Evelyn asked.
“Perhaps I seduced him,” Abigail confessed.
“Oh, my!” Gemma gushed.
“Now you must spill the truth of what took place while everyone stayed at my residence. Did Uncle Theo’s plan work?” Charlie inquired.
Abigail narrowed her gaze. “What plan?”
“The one where Lucas finally came to his senses and made you his,” Charlie answered.
“I will never be his. But if you inquire whether we enjoyed each other’s company, then the answer is yes.”
“Finally,” Gemma replied.
“No, ‘tis not what it seems. Lucas and I will not wed. I am taking the governess position with Lord Ross once we arrive in London. Nothing is any different today than it was yesterday. I do not hold the quality of a duchess for Lucas. I hold no proper standing in society and I never will. The same argument stands. He will never profess his love and I refuse to offer mine. We shared one night together, and that is all we will ever share. No more.”
“But . . .” Gemma started.
“But nothing. I have come to terms with our relationship. Now I insist everyone in this family come to the same terms. Lucas is meant for a lady of the highest standings, and I am meant for a life of servitude,” Abigail declared.
“You do not believe that,” Gemma argued, shaking her head. “You are more valuable than what you give yourself credit for. Your last name may not be Holbrooke, but you are as much a Holbrooke as we are. And anyone who says otherwise can go hang.”
Abigail didn’t answer. She grew weary of the same argument. For the past year, she had shared the same conversation multiple times with everyone in this room. And each conversation had ended in the same regard, with them urging her to remain hopeful. Well, Abigail had given up all hope and accepted her position in society for what it was. She loved this family dearly, but they must also accept how others viewed her and how she would never find acceptance outside of this small circle.
“Do you hold belief your only value is one of a servant?” Evelyn asked in disbelief.
“Yes,” Abigail answered.
“There is no way we can change your mind?” Jacqueline inquired, and Abigail shook her head. Jacqueline offered Abigail a wistful smile. “Then as your sisters, we accept your determination and offer our full support.”
The other ladies voiced their objections, but Jacqueline gave them each a disapproving stare. The entire room grew quiet. They each drank their hot chocolate and ate their pastries. Each of them stared at Abigail, hoping to coax her into changing her mind.
Finally, Jacqueline took pity on her. “Tell us about your position in Lord Ross’s household. I thought he found another governess since you couldn’t join him at his estate after the holidays.”
“I will be a governess to his two young daughters. They sound like the sweetest souls from his letters. Lord Ross dotes on his daughters and fills the letters full of praises for their accomplishments. The governess he hired fell in love with a shopkeeper and is getting married. Once he found out, he wrote to me and offered the position again,” Abigail explained.
“How did Lord Ross learn of your desire to become a governess?” Evelyn asked.
“I posted an advertisement in the London Times last spring when we stayed in London.”
“The entire time you led us to believe you gave the season a chance, but you were secretly plotting your escape.” Gemma’s tone reflected how Abigail’s actions had hurt her.
Abigail winced, for that was exactly what she had done. None of them understood how those functions placed her in awkward situations. If the ladies of the ton didn’t meet her with snide remarks, then the gentlemen made up for her distress with their scandalous suggestions. She never whispered a word of the many propositions made by them. It would have angered her family and caused her more embarrassment once Colebourne released his wrath. After the season ended, she had realized how the ton would never accept her. Even if Lucas declared his love, she could never have him suffer from the isolation their marriage would incur.
“Yes.”
“Why?” Gemma started crying, startling everyone.
Abigail tried to comfort her, drawing her hands in hers. Gemma was the closest person she had to a sister. Abigail’s mother had served as a maid to Gemma’s mother. They had grown up together and shared everything. When they lost their parents, they had clung to each other to grieve. Abigail had found joy when her friend found her happily ever after with Barrett Ralston. Soon Gemma would become a mother and their lives would travel different paths. Throughout their friendship, Gemma had never understood how different their lives were and she never would.
“Because I watched every one of you find love and I realized I had no future with the one I loved. Even when his journey took a different path once Selina married Duncan.” Abigail smiled over at Selina. “He would never accept me for who I am. I don’t want a life where my own husband holds shame toward me. All of you must understand. Please, I beg of you.”
“While we will never understand, we will accept your need to find happiness,” Evelyn assured Abigail.
“You will?”
Gemma nodded, tears coursing along her cheeks. “I blame the baby for the tears.”
Abigail drew Gemma into a hug. “I promise I will always be available when anyone needs my help. It is a stipulation I made with Lord Ross when I agreed to accept his offer.”
“Will you at least have Uncle Theo meet with Lord Ross before you start your employment?” Charlie asked. “I cannot shake the strange sense I have about your position. It would relieve my worries if we had more details about Lord Ross since none of us have heard of him before.”
“Colebourne has already corresponded with Lord Ross and has given his approval,” Abigail informed them.
“He has? What is his opinion of the earl?” Selina asked with skepticism.
“He thinks I have made an excellent choice for an employer.”
Selina rose suddenly. “Please excuse me, ladies. I forgot I must tell Mama some news from the village before I forget again.” Selina rushed out of the bedchamber before anyone questioned her further.
Abigail smiled after Selina. “I am thrilled Selina has found such joy with Duncan. She is a different lady from when we first met her.”
“Yes, she is. We all underestimated her,” Charlie agreed.
Gemma wiped the tears from her face. “Will you tell us about your new charges?”
Abigail smiled at her friends’ acceptance. She enlightened them with the earl’s letters and even mentioned how she felt a kindred spirit with the widower. Even though they stayed silent about Lucas, they wouldn’t remain quiet for long. Before they departed for London, they would each attempt to change her mind. Whether individually or as a group remained to be determined.
Either way, Abigail would stand firm in her decision. No matter how much it broke her heart.