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Chapter Fifteen

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Abigail allowed herself the enjoyment of lying wrapped in Lucas’s arms. The silence comforted her and gave her a brief glimpse of contentment. It may only last shortly, but Lucas’s embrace offered her a sense of security she hadn’t felt in a long while. However, the sunlight seeping into her bedchamber also spoke of their time ending.

Lucas’s fingers stroked across Abigail’s shoulder and along her back. “Will you dress and come with me?”

Abigail stilled. “Where?” she whispered.

Lucas continued with his caress. “For an early morning walk in the garden.”

Abigail didn’t want their time to end. “Yes.”

Lucas released the breath he held with relief when she answered so readily. When she raised her head and offered him a shy smile, he couldn’t help but smile in return. Which made Abigail blush a becoming shade of pink, only making his smile grow wider. She ducked her head and looked around on the floor. When he realized she looked to cover herself, he gave into her discomfort and draped the quilt around her shoulders.

Abigail rose off Lucas after he wrapped her in the quilt. His invitation had taken her by surprise, but she didn’t want to part from him quite yet. His playful smile contradicted his attitude the past year, and she wished to savor it for as long as he chose to act in this regard.  

She moved behind the dressing partition and pulled on a variety of layers of dress. When she lowered the walking dress over her hips, she realized how her giddiness of spending the early morning with Lucas invaded her senses. Did he feel the same way?

Abigail peeked out to see him wearing the same silly grin, waiting for her. She gulped at the sight of the wide expanse of his chest on display, remembering how her hands raked along his body. The contrast of the hardness of his body against her soft curves heightened the desire that still flickered for another round of fulfillment. Abigail pressed her cheek to the wooded panel in hopes it would cool her thoughts. Its roughness only scratched her cheek instead.

Lucas stood staring at the bed before him. He itched to discard his clothing and crawl between the sheets. Their union shared on the rickety chair had only soothed a flicker of his need. There was more he wished to enlighten Abigail on in the pleasures of lovemaking. Pleasures that would take hours, days, weeks, years, a lifetime to fulfill.

He turned when he heard the rustle of movement behind the dressing screen and grinned at her stare. It would appear Abigail’s thoughts reflected the same need as his. However, they couldn’t indulge in their desires. He held out his hand, and she glided over to him with a carefree regard he hadn’t seen in her since she was a young girl.

Once she reached him, she turned and presented her back. “Will you be so kind and play lady’s maid, good sir?”

Her teasing tone was the only thing that kept him from stripping off her clothes and throwing her onto the bed. With hands that shook, he buttoned her dress. His fingers lingered on the last button and his thumb brushed across the back of her creamy neck. He stole a kiss and pulled away, drawing her hand in his.

Lucas hurried them toward the mirror and into the secret passageway, not giving Abigail a chance to change her mind. He led them into his bedchamber and drew on a fresh shirt before ushering Abigail out again. Her soft laughter trailed behind them. Once he reached the latched door leading them out into the garden, he turned. Abigail’s enjoyment shone brightly, teasing him to join in with her. He placed a soft kiss against her lips before opening the door.

Lucas guided her to a bench. “Wait here,” he said before disappearing through the servant’s entrance. No sooner had he entered than he exited with a linen tied with string.

Abigail tilted her head. “Did you steal those?”

Lucas winked at her and held out his hand again. Abigail placed her hand inside his and they walked deeper into the gardens. When Abigail thought they would stop and enjoy the delightful scent wafting from the linen, Lucas surprised her by walking farther. Once he stopped, Abigail realized where he had taken her. She hadn’t visited this side of the garden lately. It was a place she had hidden away whenever the sense of not belonging overwhelmed her. And it was always Lucas who would coax her away, making her see the acceptance Colebourne tried to provide with his security. After a while, she no longer needed to hide but embraced her new family.

They settled on a bench, and Lucas unwrapped their breakfast. He wore a mischievous smile when she noticed the sweets he’d stolen. Covered in sugar were Cook’s cream-filled pastries.

“You stole Ramsay’s treats,” Abigail accused, reaching for one and taking a bite.

Lucas laughed, popping one into his mouth. “Serves him right for getting special treatment when the rest of us get served the plain scones while he visits.”

Abigail giggled. They ate the remaining in silence, shooting each other smiles in between bites. After they finished, they enjoyed the quiet early morning and watched the birds swoop in to take a drink from the fountain and fly off again. Abigail enjoyed the peacefulness with Lucas.

She couldn’t blame the duke’s matchmaking attempts on the distance placed between them. If she were to reflect on when their differences started, she would have to admit it was when Lucas began courting Selina. By then, she had fallen head over heels for Lucas and couldn’t bear to watch their courtship.

Which was the reason for her to seek employment, a position she planned to keep, and Colebourne’s invitation for Lord Ross to visit only made it more of a reality. Soon the fantasy she held of Lucas whisking her away to make her his bride would wither.

She struggled to keep her gaze off him and peeked out of the corner of her eye. Abigail wanted to etch every expression of him into her memories. Any moment she could steal with him to tuck away and treasure while alone. He ran his hand through his hair and appeared nervous. While he spoke nothing aloud, his lips moved in a private conversation with himself. She wondered what troubled him.

We must marry and I have the perfect solution. We can steal away to Gretna Green where nobody can find fault with our union because it is final. She would balk at that reasoning, Lucas argued with himself.

Abigail, will you marry me? No. His proposal should sound more romantic.

You are the love of my life and I wish to make you my bride. Yes. That sounded perfect. Should he go down on one knee? Or draw her into his arms?

Why was this so bloody difficult? They were both reasonable adults and Abigail must see the reason for such haste. She didn’t need a flowery declaration. She was a sensible miss.

Lucas leapt to his feet and walked to the fountain. He dipped his fingers into the water to wash the sugar away. Then he strode back to the bench with determination to ask Abigail to marry him. She lifted her head, smiling at him with patience at his agitated state. He rubbed the back of his neck, his doubts keeping him silent. Every argument he held against asking for her hand in marriage before smacked him to a halt.

Each reason still held strong. The most important one of not wanting her to suffer the ton’s snobbery and watching her happiness wither away almost kept him silent. But his father had raised him to be a gentleman. Since he’d taken her virtue and ruined her for any other man, that alone overruled any objections to making her his wife.

“We will marry immediately. Tonight, after everyone has gone to bed, we will leave for Gretna Green. Tomorrow you shall become my wife,” Lucas stated.

Abigail’s smile slipped away, and she sat in a daze. It was as if she witnessed this scene from a distance. One second, they were sharing a moment of utter joy, and the next, he ripped away her happiness by his coldhearted order. Lucas didn’t even have the decency to show any ounce of emotion in his regard toward her. As if she were a problem that needed to be handled.

Abigail’s lips pinched as she brushed the crumbs from her skirts. She rose with a dignity she was far from feeling and folded her hands in front of her. “No,” she snarled.

Lucas jerked back at Abigail’s vicious answer. “No?”

Abigail gritted her teeth, holding back the fury she wished to unleash. “No!”

Lucas frowned at her negative reply. On the second one, her voice rose a pitch higher. His pride objected and forced him to act without reason. “You have no other choice. I ruined you and we will wed. Once my father learns of our indiscretions, he will insist on our marriage.”

Abigail raised an eyebrow. “Will you inform him?”

Lucas scoffed. “No. I am more of a gentleman than my fellow family members.”

“Are you?” Abigail demanded. “Because from my viewpoint, you are a whole other level of a degenerated gentleman. One that far surpasses their ungentlemanly conduct. A scoundrel of the highest order.”

Lucas, not recognizing Abigail’s temper climbing, continued on with his offending proposal. “You must see reason. There is no alternative course for our relationship but one of marriage. There might be consequences for the past two evenings we shared. One that would leave you a branded woman.”

Abigail arched an eyebrow. “Like my mother?”

“Exactly.” Lucas regretted his answer the second he uttered the word. Abigail paled at his insult. “I apologize. I never meant to imply anything negative toward your mother. Please forgive me, Abigail,” Lucas pleaded.

Abigail took a deep breath. But it didn’t calm her any. Lucas’s cruel words ignited her temper to a level where she could no longer hold back. She took a step forward and poked him in the chest. “You, my lord, are nothing but a pompous jackass who holds no clue how to treat a lady. Oh, but I forgot, I am not a lady. Am I, Lord Gray?”

She poked his chest again, this time pressing harder. “I am nothing but a lowly being who should hold nothing but gratitude that someone as high ranking as you has shown me any sort of attention.”

Lucas tried to defend himself. “Abigail, you misunderstand.”

“No, Lord Gray, I have not. Over the past year, you have made your opinion more than clear. I was a fool to think otherwise. A fool who imagined herself so deeply in love with you that I made excuses for your every action. Well, no more.” Abigail curtsied to Lucas. “While I thank you for your kind offer, my lord, I must refuse. You see, I would rather be a fallen woman than a woman married to a man who holds no respect for her.”

Abigail turned and rushed toward the manor. With every call of her name, she ran faster. She didn’t stop until she closed the door to her bedroom. And then and only then did she allow the tears to fall. She never imagined Lucas would inflict so much pain upon her heart. But then his past actions had proven otherwise.

How was this incident any different?