| |
Lucas rushed after Abigail, but his father’s demand stopped him. “Leave her be.”
Lucas swung around. “I cannot. I must explain my reasons. She is too vulnerable to be alone.”
Susanna rose and urged Lucas to sit down. “Abigail needs to calm down before you approach her. If you catch her now, each of you will express emotions that cannot be unspoken. Words each of you might regret. Trust me, dear.”
Lucas sat down, defeated. He knew his aunt’s words to be true, but it didn’t lessen his need to find Abigail. The pain reflected in her gaze had shaken her body, too. He wanted to hold her while she cried out her sorrow. Then he wanted to grovel at her feet for forgiveness. After she calmed, he would profess his undying love and pray she still loved him.
Sinclair’s cousin rose. “If you will excuse us, we shall take our leave and allow you to settle your family matter.”
Benjamin ushered his daughters out of the dining room. Selina watched them go and guilt settled in her heart for her part in the deception. With determination to make amends for Abigail’s sake, she would explain the part she had played. She only hoped once Abigail learned the truth, she would still consider her a friend.
Selina slid the knife back and forth on the linen tablecloth, mesmerized by the glide of the blade. The candlelight flickered against the silver, casting a glow to reflect off and bounce around. She began her confession. “While I wasn’t the one to start the downfall of this fiasco, I will take the blame for the part I played in its catastrophe.”
“Love, you are not to blame,” Duncan reassured Selina.
“Let her speak. No one else is forthcoming,” Brockway demanded.
Selina stopped playing with the knife and raised her head. She faced the duke and continued. “When Abigail told me of the position Lord Ross offered her and mentioned her two young charges, their names sounded familiar. Once I pieced together the familiarity, I grew convinced it was the works of Theo and Susanna and their matchmaking mischief. When I confronted them, they confessed their involvement. However, they played me false, as I learned after I overheard a conversation between Lucas and Duncan, where Lucas confessed to be the one responsible for deceiving Abigail all these months.”
“Do you have anything to share?” Colebourne asked Lucas.
Lucas stayed silent. He had much to share, but he would only make his confession to Abigail. She deserved to hear the reasons behind his actions before anyone else.
When Lucas still didn’t speak, Selina finished explaining her involvement. “Lucas promised to write a letter to Abigail that explained the position was no longer available and his refusal to accept the duke’s offer to visit Colebourne Manor. When he proposed to Abigail and slandered her character, I sought revenge and convinced the other ladies to help me seek justice for Abigail. However, it backfired and has left Abigail heartbroken.”
Colebourne rose. “The fault lies with no one except for myself. I started this drama a year ago and allowed it to escalate out of my control. My greatest wish was for everyone to find happiness. While I found success with my wards, I failed my son. Instead of allowing him to make his own mistakes in life, I tried to force him into admitting his love for someone who was not his ideal mate. For that I apologize.”
Colebourne lifted his glass in a toast. “What I am about to admit contradicts my apology. But I wish to applaud everyone’s efforts in trying to make this match. It only shows the dedication this family possesses to make Abigail a permanent member. I appreciate the creativity you ladies added to the mix. You might have made a success out of it, if it were not for my letter to Brockway to invite him here in hopes he could convince Lucas what a mistake he made by refusing Abigail as his soul mate.”
Lucas barked out a laugh. “If every single meddling busybody would have minded their own business, Abigail and I might be celebrating our engagement.”
“Sure you would, boy. You have the same fumbling finesse your father possesses,” Ramsay quipped.
Brockway laughed. “Ahh, I see the similarities. Do you remember the time when Colebourne swept Olivia through a dance right into the refreshment table, drenching her white dress in red punch? Then he had the audacity to blame the entire incident on her in front of the entire ton.”
Colebourne cringed. “Yet she still said yes.”
Brockway nodded. His focus landed on Lucas. “Yes, she did.”
While the story of his parents’ courtship should give him hope with Abigail, it compared nothing to the tribulations that kept them apart. Everyone thought it was as simple as confessing his love, but he feared his deceit overruled the simple act of love. He no longer held onto any hope and he wouldn’t blame Abigail if she never forgave him. Because he couldn’t forgive himself for the anguish he had caused her.
If only he had opened his eyes sooner. Every couple in this room had overcome obstacles to have successful marriages. And they had achieved success because they stood by each other and fought against their demons together, while he had used the reasons they needed to fight as excuses to keep them apart. And for what reason?
Did he care if the members of the ton supported his marriage? Abigail held more worth than any lady he had ever met. In his attempt to protect her, it had kept him from confessing his love. Yes, the vipers would whisper about Abigail behind her back, and the snakes would slither around, attempting to seduce her. But he had forgotten the power his father held and the power that would transfer to him when, God forbid, his father passed. Not to mention the power of his family members who would stand behind their union.
Now his doubts and reasons seemed foolish to begin with. By denying his love for Abigail, he had only shown her how she was an embarrassment to him. When in truth he held nothing but pride for her.
“Excuse me.” Lucas never waited for a reply and rushed away. He needed to find Abigail before it was too late.
“Is there any hope for them?” Susanna whispered.
“Yes,” Colebourne answered firmly, expressing his belief in Lucas and Abigail’s love.
It was the love Abigail and Lucas held for one another that had created the idea of his matchmaking madness.
~~~~~
LUCAS HELD UP THE LANTERN to help guide his steps through the dark garden. He had torn through the manor in his search of Abigail. However, he hadn’t found her in any of her usual hiding spots. He even searched the servants’ quarters, but no one had seen her. Which only left the garden.
He hoped he found her soon, before she caught a chill. A wind had picked up, and a light caress of sprinkles fell on him. Abigail hadn’t worn a shawl at dinner, and he knew she wouldn’t have gathered one. She had wanted to disappear as quickly as possible.
“Abigail,” he called out.
Nothing answered him but the rustling of the leaves on the trees and his shoes crunching on the loose gravel. His steps led him to the very destination where he had blundered his marriage proposal. He should’ve come here first because it was the very spot Abigail rested. She lay crumpled on the ground with her head on the bench. Shivers raked her body, and he thought they were from her grief. But as he drew closer, he realized Abigail had fallen asleep.
“Ah, love,” he whispered.
He peeled off his suit coat and wrapped her in it, gathering her in his arms. He settled them on the bench and held her close to his heart, whispering comforting words. She never stirred in his arms except from the cold seeping into her, causing her body to shake. He carried her inside and to her room, where he laid her on the bed.
“Lucas,” Abigail mumbled in her sleep.
“Shh, love.”
He lifted the quilt over her sleeping form and stared down at her. Her hair spread out on the pillow and she snuggled into the warmth. He leaned over, brushing the hair from her face, and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Lucas didn’t have the heart to wake her, mostly in fear of the rejection sure to come his way. Also, he couldn’t bear to see the heartache reflected in her eyes. Heartache he felt to the depth of his soul. Heartache he hoped to repair if she gave him the chance.
With a heavy heart, he left Abigail in peace and continued to his bedchamber. When he strode inside, he found Duncan sitting near the fire with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, ready for Lucas to drown his troubles in. Duncan held the bottle out, and he grabbed it before landing in the opposite chair. He took a long swallow of the fiery liquid. The heat sent fire to his belly, spreading out and warming his heart. The chill from watching Abigail in despair had taken up residence in his gut. It left him with wretched emotions he held no clue how to handle, much less express to Abigail.
“A bloody mess you have found yourself in this time,” Duncan commented.
Lucas scoffed. “Thank you for your support.”
Duncan laughed. “Anytime.”
Lucas took another swallow. “How am I ever to repair the amount of pain I have caused Abigail?”
“With your love.”
“The damage I have done far surpasses the emotion.”
Duncan leaned forward with his hands folded between his knees. “You underestimate the power of Abigail’s ability of forgiveness and the love she holds for you.”
“Perhaps I should leave for London tomorrow and give Abigail the space she needs.”
Duncan grabbed the bottle away from Lucas. “No! You will not escape like a coward. You will stay and fight for Abigail. If you do not, then you will lose the most precious gift within your grasp.”
Duncan rose, drinking from the bottle, and lunged over to Lucas, continuing his rant. “Over the past few years, I have listened to you whine and bemoan how unfair your life was when your father kept you betrothed to Selina. I even stood by your side when you left town right before your marriage ceremony.”
“I left for your sake,” Lucas interrupted.
“Bollocks. You left to save your own hide.”
Lucas shrugged but offered no other excuse.
“Then you had every opportunity at your disposal to court Abigail. Yet you kept your distance, unless you felt the need to stake your territory of her person.”
“Nonsense,” Lucas muttered.
Duncan arched an eyebrow. “Oh, did you think your behavior when Lord Falcone visited didn’t reach us? We heard in complete detail how you embarrassed Abigail at the bookstore by calling out Falcone.”
Lucas scowled. “That reprobate touched her inappropriately.”
Duncan fixed him with a stare. “He never did so. You were jealous of the time they spent together, walking in the gardens. Any gentleman who paid interest in Abigail, you scared off with your possessiveness. You don’t want her for yourself, yet you want no other gentleman to win her affections. Well, my friend, the time has come for you to either love Abigail or to set her free. The family decided after you left the dining room that we will no longer run interference, nor will we stand in Abigail’s way if she wants to leave.”
“Abigail is not leaving.”
“I am afraid that is no longer your concern. Tomorrow, your father will give Abigail her freedom. If you have any sense of decency, you will leave her alone if she accepts his offer.”
Lucas shoved himself out of the chair. “One minute, you’re spouting for me to seek Abigail’s forgiveness. The next, you order me to leave her alone. Which is it?”
Duncan shrugged. “Which choice do you wish for? That is the decision you must make. But do not linger with your decision.”
Duncan shoved the bottle back into Lucas’s grip and walked out of the room, leaving Lucas alone with his thoughts. Thoughts that would turn any man insane, but ones Lucas already held the answers to. He only wished he had a plan to win Abigail’s love.
Lucas stared at the bottle in his hand, knowing there were no clues hidden within. But the pity he held for himself led him to indulge his sorrows with the liquor at his disposal.
He drew his chair near the fireplace and propped his feet up on the other chair. With each drink he took, inspiration struck him on how he would apologize. By the time he finished the bottle, he had accumulated a list of ideas, each one more ridiculous than the last. However, he realized the only way to prove himself was to wear his heart on his sleeve and show Abigail how madly in love he was with her.
Lucas was ready to embrace the madness.
~~~~~
WHEN ABIGAIL AWOKE, she sensed she wasn’t alone. Her friends filled her room, waiting for forgiveness. When she ran away from them the evening before, they had filled her heart with betrayal. However, once she calmed, she had realized they only had her best interest at heart. It didn’t lessen the sorrow any, but it helped to ease her conflicting emotions. In their efforts to teach Lucas a lesson, their actions showed Abigail their loyalty. There were no truer friends than the ladies in this room. They were more than friends. They were her sisters.
“I forgive every one of you,” Abigail told them. She opened her eyes and found them staring nervously at her.
Gemma smiled. “You may stay angry with us for a longer period.”
Abigail sighed, sliding up to rest against the headboard. “I know, but ‘tis not my nature. Also, I hope with the remorse you suffer from, you will promise to help me.”
“Anything you ask we will make happen,” Charlie swore.
“I wish to leave Colebourne Manor today.”
“Where do you wish to go?” Jacqueline asked.
“To London for now. Tomorrow or the next day, who knows.”
Selina handed Abigail a hot chocolate. “Duncan and I are traveling to London today. You may ride with us. Once we reach London, you are welcome to stay at our townhome.”
Abigail shook her head. “I could not impose.”
“Please,” Selina pleaded. “I regret how I deceived you and I wish to make it up to you.”
Abigail grabbed Selina’s hand. “When I offered my forgiveness, it also included you. You are as much my sister as Gemma, Jacqueline, Charlie, and Evelyn are.”
Selina sniffled. “A sister?”
Abigail nodded. “A sister.”
“Then will you accept my offer?”
“Yes. Only you must promise we can leave immediately.”
Selina squeezed Abigail’s hand. “I will have Duncan ready the carriage.”
After Selina left, a comforting silence filled the room. Abigail’s gaze fell on the packed bags she had prepared to leave with Lord Ross. Now she embarked on a different journey. Only, she held no clue about the destination. However, she wasn’t brave enough to face Lucas yet. She needed more time before she forgave him. Oh, she would eventually. She always did and always would. But the grief remained too fresh to deal with now.
“Do you have a plan?” Jacqueline asked.
“No. But I think I might give London a chance. I never explored the city last year because I was determined to believe I would never belong.”
“But you always have,” Evelyn protested.
Abigail held up her hand. “I understand that now. That is why I cannot remain upset with any of you. Your actions once again showed proof of the love you hold for me. Before, I made excuses about how I perceived my place in this family. Now I understand my value.”
Charlie tilted her head and stared at Abigail. “And Lucas?”
Abigail swung her legs off the bed, pressing her hands into the mattress. Lucas. He was a subject she couldn’t answer truthfully because each time she convinced herself there could be nothing between them, she remembered how the comfort his embrace made her feel. How the taste of his kiss sent her heart racing. How the whisper of her name against his lips set her soul on fire. How she found her home when she stared into his eyes. Loved and secured. Lucas was her best friend and the love of her life. Yet, she didn’t much care for him at the moment.
She continued to rise and prepare for her departure. “A topic I do not wish to discuss.”
“Are you giving up on him?” Charlie persisted.
“Leave her be,” Jacqueline scolded her. Charlie crossed her arms and glared at her sister. Jacqueline shook her head and mouthed, “Not now.”
Evelyn rose and helped Abigail dress. After Charlie finished pouting, she helped Abigail pack. She hugged each of them and gave one last longing glance at the bedroom Colebourne gifted her when she was lost and alone and had no one. But she had never really been alone. She always had a family and always would, no matter what decision she made.
“I love each of you,” Abigail whispered.
She turned to leave, but Gemma’s question stopped her. “Do you still love Lucas?”
Abigail looked over her shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I will until my last dying day and beyond.”