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★☆★☆★
It was late August, and true to her word, Cara packed up all her worldly possessions, along with her 3-year-old son, and left for Colorado. I tried not to cry as I pushed the last taped-up box into the back of the rented truck, but failed miserably.
“I hate you, you know,” I said, muffled into her hair.
She sniffed. “I love you, too, woman.”
We pulled apart and she smiled at me, then bent down to give Ashlynn a hug. “Be good for your mama, little girl,” she said, kissing my daughter on the forehead.
I picked up Aiden and ran my fingers through his auburn hair. He smiled and said, “We’re gonna ride in a big truck,” and pointed at it. I laughed and kissed his little freckled nose, setting him back down.
I watched as she got into the driver’s seat of the moving truck, looking so small in it. Her mother was in her car on the street, prepared to drive it to Colorado for her.
As they drove away, my cell phone chirped, but I was too busy staring at Cara’s small duplex, where we’d had so many fun times. I sighed in sadness and then opened the passenger door, putting Ashlynn into her car seat, closing the door. I as I slid into the driver’s seat, I reached for my phone and looked at it.
Hey, hot stuff. Come over?
I smiled at Jace’s text, and sadly replied: I can’t. I have Ash.
His reply was immediate. Okay, I’ll come to your place then.
I grinned and threw the phone back into my purse, backing out of Cara’s long drive one last time.
When Jace arrived, Ashlynn had already gone to bed. I pulled the door open before he could ring or knock so he wouldn’t wake her.
“Hi,” I said, swinging open the screen door so he could come in.
His smile fell when he took in my sad expression. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and made my way back to the kitchen where my only friend, in the form of a wine bottle, was on the counter waiting for me. I poured some more into a glass and took a swig. Jace watched me curiously, and then gently pried the glass from my hands and set it on the counter. He braced his arms around me, boxing me in against the kitchen counter and looked into my eyes.
“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
“Cara’s gone.”
He looked slightly sympathetic, but mostly confused. “You knew she was leaving today.”
“That doesn’t make it any easier.”
He nodded, removing his arms from my counter prison and used them to wrap around me. I buried my face into his massive chest, my tears staining his teal shirt that was the exact color of his eyes.
As he pulled back, he wiped away my tears with both thumbs, and smiled down at me. “Well, at least you still have me.”
I nodded. “I know. I’m just gonna miss her, that’s all.”
He looked down at me and lifted my chin to look at him. Then he slowly leaned his forehead against mine. He leaned down and pressed a searing kiss to my mouth that made me forget all about my traitorous best friend and the ache in my chest at her loss. The tears that had been on my cheeks absorbed into his face, and when his tongue pressed into my mouth, mine quickly returned the favor, dancing with his. He always knew how to make me feel better – or maybe he was just really good at distracting me – I didn’t know.
And right now, I didn’t care.
He continued to kiss me as he dragged me out of the kitchen and down the hall toward my room. I broke the kiss briefly to make sure my daughter was still asleep, then went into my room. Jace closed the door with his foot and the minute he turned around, he stripped his shirt off and threw it to the floor. A smile twitched up on my lips as I shamelessly gawked at him. He was damn near perfection, and I would never get tired of staring at his body. His tanned chest was sculpted like an athlete’s should be, and the jeans riding low on his hips showed off those sumptuous sex lines near his hips that made women stupid. Me included.
He slowly walked over and unfastened my bra, freeing my breasts from their confines of white lace and clasps. He placed both hands on them, then leaned down to kiss me once again. The dual sensation shot white-hot streaks through my body, and if I had been wearing any panties, they would have been drenched. Instead, the soft pink short-shorts I’d been wearing took the brunt of my arousal.
I leaned down and unsnapped his jeans and tore them down, taking his boxers with them. Jace was as hard as could be, and I wrapped my hand around him, eliciting a groan from him that I would never get tired of hearing.
“I love it when you touch me like that,” he said into my mouth, right before he moved it to my neck and dragged kisses up it until he reached my ear. He pushed me on the bed and climbed over to me with a devilish grin on his handsome face. He then reached up and yanked my pink shorts off, tossing them aside.
“What are you smiling at?” I teased.
“What’s there not to smile at?” he shot back.
I nodded and pushed him onto his back. Straddling him, I ran my hands up his stomach and chest until they reached his shoulders. He just sat there looking at me with amusement while I continued to run my hands along his rock-hard biceps, until I stopped, pinning his arms down. I reached down and began to lick at his neck, the skin there feeling like sandpaper due to his need to shave. It was sexy as hell, and he smelled like heaven. I let my wet heat tease him, slowly bucking my hips while I kissed and licked his neck and ear. My arms were still pinning his down, knowing full well I was only under the illusion I was in control here. He could push me off any time he wanted, but I knew he definitely did not want me to.
“I need to be inside you,” he growled into my ear when my face got close enough to his mouth.
I just shook my head and kissed him to shut him up, the grinding of his hips against mine making me wonder how much longer I was going to be able to hold out.
I slowly let go of his arms and ran my hands back down his chest and then sat up with my back straight and stared down at him with a challenge in my eyes. His were hooded in lust and impatience, and when his large hands grabbed both my hips and lifted me up, I helped him by placing both my feet flat on the bed. He grinned wickedly at that, and slammed my hips down, perfectly impaling him as we groaned in unison.
Closing my eyes, I tilted my head back and reached behind me, gripping his thighs as he continued to move in me. I began to feel that familiar gratifying pressure begin to build, and continued to rock myself on top of him. His hands gripped my hips, digging his fingers into them, which only excited me more.
“Damn, baby,” he groaned, watching me rock back and forth.
I opened my eyes and looked at him, a smirk kicking up on the side of my mouth.
Closing my eyes once again, I threw my head back as I could feel how close I was getting to unleashing my body’s tensions onto him.
It wasn’t long until I felt Jace stiffen under me. I slowly laid myself onto his chest as I rode him out, releasing all the stresses of my day onto him. It wasn’t long before he did the same inside me, both of us panting and smiling.
His eyes opened and he grabbed both my hands and laced his fingers through mine, just staring up at me. Finally he said, “You’re incredible. I love you.”
I grinned. “I love you more.”
When I reluctantly climbed off of him, I sidled up into the crook of his arm and fell asleep immediately.
***
“Why?” I whined into the phone like a 12-year-old. It was a boring Thursday night and I was trying to solidify my weekend plans.
I could hear him chuckle. “I’m gone this coming weekend. I told you that.”
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“It’s just business, baby,” he replied.
Once a month he left on what he said was business – at first I assumed it was baseball business, but when fall rolled around and I knew baseball season was over (I had to Google that shit), I assumed it was computer crap. But he was self-employed. The paranoia was starting to overtake me, clenching at my insides like a giant fist was squeezing them, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one fucking bit.
I released a heavy sigh for dramatic effect and heard Jace laugh again. “Sweetie, I’ll be back Sunday night.”
“But where are you going?” I groaned.
God I hated this. I hated acting like this. But all I wanted was to know where he was spending the weekend. Why was I acting like a jealous wife?
“I’ll be in Nevada, working hard,” he chuckled.
I just finally gave up. “Okay, Lawless. Please let me know you’re okay by calling or texting, okay?”
“Of course. I love you.”
“Love you, too,” I said woodenly, still irritated at him.
Was I really in this sort of relationship now? We were throwing the “L” word around like no big deal, and I really did think I was in love with Jace, but how could I love someone when there was a sliver of my heart that didn’t trust him?
It was Chris all over again. It was Jason all over again. Gone for days at a time, having to trust. Why was my trust so utterly shot to hell? I hated myself for the insecurities clogging my throat and making my untrusting heart beat painfully in my chest.
I dialed Cara while I made dinner, making small talk until I could vent about Jace leaving for the weekend.
“Let it go, Miranda,” Cara said into my ear as I sprinkled some more paprika into the chicken casserole I was making.
I screwed the lid back on and placed it back into the cabinet. I lifted the lid on the pot of boiling potatoes and stirred them. “I can’t.”
“Do you think he has a secret wife or something?” she asked, seriousness lacing her tone.
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. His family seemed very receptive of me and Ash. I would think someone would have warned me, or he wouldn’t have introduced me if he was married. Right?”
“Absolutely,” she shot back immediately. “So, what, a secret girlfriend?”
I sucked in a breath and leaned my ass against my kitchen counter. Pouring some Fireball whiskey into a San Diego Zoo shot-glass, I threw it back and coughed. “Maybe,” I choked out. I shivered as the hot cinnamon booze travelled down to warm my nervous tummy. I set the glass on the countertop with a clink.
“Are you doing shots?” she asked, incredulousness in her voice.
How in the hell...?
“So what’s new with you?” I asked in deflection.
“It’s gonna snow tomorrow,” she sighed.
“Ah, that blows. I remember the snow in Reno that one time we went. Remember that?”
She snorted. “Duh, how could I forget? We trashed that hotel. We had to slink out of there with our tails between our legs.”
I poured some more whiskey and shot it back. More shivers. “Totally.”
“I gotta get Aiden to his soccer practice. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
I raised an eyebrow. “He’s three. He plays soccer?”
She laughed. “The word ‘play’ is pushing it. They’re starting them young these days.”
“Bye, girl. I miss you.”
“Miss you, too. Come visit me.”
“I will, I promise. When it’s not snowing,” I added.
“Deal,” she said, and hung up.