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★☆★☆★
I sat staring at the blinking light on my cell phone. I knew I had a voicemail and probably some texts, but I didn’t even want to swipe the screen to see what they were.
Letting out a deep sigh, I looked up at the stone and coiling razor wire that surrounded my place of employment and knew I had to go in. I debated on just checking the phone after my 8 hours was done. I knew if I didn’t clear the phone’s notifications before my shift, it would bug me. I hated that I had to leave the phone in the car, but I understood why.
I looked down to see three texts, one from Jace, two from Cara. And they were all about the same things – when was I going to let Jace out of the penalty box?
I reluctantly listened to the voicemail from Jace.
“Miranda, please just talk to me. I’m sorry. I love you.”
I closed my eyes and gripped my phone until I thought I might crack it within my fist. I ended the voicemail call and threw the phone to the passenger seat. I slammed my head onto the headrest, which kinda hurt, since I was wearing a ponytail.
It had been almost a week since I’d seen or spoken to Jace. Yes, I was being a total girl and giving him the silent treatment, but I was pissed. No, I was more than pissed. I didn’t like that he was in the reserves, but what I hated even more was that he had kept that fact from me. Cara seemed to be under the impression that I was mostly pissed that my perfect dream guy was a military man. That wasn’t the case at all. Sure, I told myself I was done with dating men in the service, but the truth remained that I still found them smokin’ hot and it definitely wasn’t a turnoff by any means; it was just that my chest had sunk at learning that he was in the reserves because I didn’t want to live in fear like that. I didn’t want him getting activated and getting deployed. I didn’t want to share my weekends with the United States Marine Corps. I wanted to live a “normal life” – whatever the hell that meant. I should have learned that by now that my life was what happened around me while I was busy making other plans.
Growing up, I had always had this ideal about what my adult life would be like. And I was somewhat on that track until I had Ashlynn. I didn’t have one ounce of regret for having her, but I’d had to make adjustments and grieve for the life I had planned out for myself. I had to tell myself there was no use being upset over things I couldn’t control. And I thought I’d done a pretty damn good job at accepting it.
Meeting Jace was definitely unexpected. I never dreamed someone like him would want someone like me. Did that mean I had low self-esteem? Maybe – but I didn’t think so. My daughter and I deserve someone good in our lives after what I’d been through in the past, and I wondered, for the first time in a week, if I was being too harsh with Jace. I secretly liked the fact that he was pursuing me – not giving up on us – so maybe if I could rip down this cage around my heart, I could give him the floor for a few minutes to explain himself. Although I’m not quite sure how he could, or if it would be anything I wasn’t already expecting to hear.
With a deep sigh, I placed my phone in the car’s center console and headed into work for another 8 hours of monotony.
***
After picking up Ashlynn from daycare, I headed home, tired as usual. As I rounded the corner to my house, I sucked in a gasp as I saw Jace’s blue Mustang parked in front of my house. My eyes drifted to my porch, where I saw him sitting in the antique rocking chair I’d placed there. It was for decoration, but apparently it was functional enough to hold a 200-pound man.
I should still be pissed off, but my anger had ebbed a lot over the past week, and during my workday I had been contemplating on how I was gonna contact him and let him have the floor to explain himself. It seems I didn’t have to now.
I parked in the driveway and heard Ashlynn squeal, “Jace!” as she began to yank at the straps on her car seat, trying to get out. I told her to be still, and unstrapped her, and she tore off toward the porch and launched herself right into Jace’s arms.
Argh!
“Hi, princess,” he said, picking her up and kissing her nose.
I slow-walked it up to the porch, and as Jace set her down, he looked at me. “Can we talk?”
I nodded and slid the key into the lock slowly and opened the door. He indicated for me to enter and I set my purse and Ashlynn’s backpack onto the dining room table. I pulled out a granola bar from the cupboard and unwrapped it, handing it to my daughter. She ran off to the family room to rifle through her toys.
Jace was leaning up against the kitchen counter with his arms folded over his fitted black T-shirt with the USMC insignia on it. I couldn’t help but let my eyes rake over his body, from his sneakers to his blue jeans and up to the shirt. I internally kicked myself for being slightly turned on by the Marine Corps insignia.
Such a recovering whore...
When my stare made its way back to his eyes, he was studying me intently, seriousness dancing in his eyes.
“You ready to hear me out?” he asked.
I nodded, parroting his posture by leaning on the other side of the counter, arms folded over my chest, as if we were in some sort of standoff.
“Look, baby, first I’m going to apologize for not telling you sooner about the reserves. You seemed to really hate military men, and I was just... a coward, for lack of a better term. It won’t happen again.”
“I don’t hate –” I started, but he cut me off.
“Let me finish.”
I gulped and nodded.
“I’m gonna shoot totally straight with you, since obviously I haven’t been. Right outta high school, I joined the Marines. I was fulltime for four years, until I got out and went to college with my GI Bill. I started playing ball in college and that’s where that scout spotted me. I’ve only been in the minor leagues for a couple of years. It’s fun, but it’s not a career. I have no aspirations to make it into the big leagues. Let’s be real here, I’m 27; I’m practically at retirement age.” A half-grin kicked up on his mouth, his dimple popping. I looked at it, then back at him, my arms still folded, my face an impassive mask.
“I joined the reserves after I got out because I still feel sort of a duty to the Corps. Ever heard the term, ‘Once a Marine, always a Marine?’”
“Only a million times,” I murmured.
He smiled. “I figured. Well, I’m not gonna stay in the reserves forever, but it is a part of me, Miranda. I just really hope that you will be a part of me too. It is possible for me to give myself both to you and the Corps. I’ll quit the baseball thing if it means I get to keep you. But I won’t leave the reserves. Not yet, anyway. Not until I’m ready.”
I felt hot tears sting the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t believe this guy would give up baseball for me. Ironically, I understood him not giving up the reserves thing, only because I had dated a few Marines and knew their dedication ran as deep as the marrow in their bones. It didn’t shock me that he had said that, nor did it hurt me. I actually expected it, but what I didn’t expect was the deep-seated respect I suddenly felt for him standing up for doing the right thing and following through on his contract and not giving it up for someone or something.
He was staring at me, waiting for me to say something, but I really couldn’t get anything to expel from my mouth. I stood there with my mouth open, but I couldn’t think of a single intelligible thing to say, so instead, I pushed myself off the counter and slowly walked over to him. He was still watching me intently, except he no longer had his arms across his chest. They were down at his sides – at the ready – prepared for anything.
I took my right hand and gripped his face with my thumb and fingers on each cheek and looked into his eyes, which were looking down at me with intensity. “Do not ever lie to me again.”
He nodded slowly, opening his mouth to speak, but instead he caught my lips, which I pressed to his, sweeping my hand around his face to grip the back of his neck. With my other hand, I reached up and raked it through his short hair.
His hands immediately gripped my ass, pushing me in closer to him as a groan escaped his throat. The hard ridge in the front of his jeans pushing into my belly did not go unnoticed by me, and I smiled a little to myself.
I tossed my head back as he ran his lips down my throat to my collarbone, then back up, licking the ridge around my earlobe, then into the shell of my ear. He kissed his way across my cheek then found my mouth again, his tongue snaking in, that hot and sensuous way of his that always drenched my panties.
Tiny giggles interrupted us, and he broke the kiss, both of us looking at the entryway to the kitchen.
Ashlynn was standing there smiling. “You’re silly, mommy.”
Jace laughed and rested his forehead against mine.