The day her dad does call, Sam almost drops the phone.
“Hey, monkey. How are you? Hey, Sam? Are you there?”
Her mom says, “Who is that? Dad?” She takes the phone. “Mitchell?” She is talking just like she always does to Sam’s dad. What the hell? And where are you? Uh-huh. Oh my God. Courtney is scolding and arguing and finding out everything, but Sam can’t talk, because she’s crying. As soon as she hears his voice, all the tears start pouring out.
Her mom is trying to hug her. “Say something.”
“Hi,” Sam says finally. She is glad her dad can’t see her crying face.
“Hi!” her dad says. “What’s going on?”
Sam just says, “When are you coming back?”
“That’s what I called to tell you! I’m coming in a few weeks.”
“December ninth?” Sam wipes her face with her hand.
“What’s December ninth?”
“My competition. Nine A.M. at Boulders.”
“Oh wow.”
“Write that down, Dad.”
“Will do!”
She strains her ears, but she can’t hear him writing. “Do you have a pen?”
“What do you mean, do I have a pen?”
“What color is it?”
“Green.”
“Really?” She is afraid to trust him, and a little bit afraid to see him. How will he look next to all the other moms and dads? She is afraid for him to show up now, and, at the same time, she is afraid that he won’t come.
She tells herself, Don’t worry, he won’t. Or if he does, he will not come in time. But then she has a feeling he will show up while she’s climbing. Just as she reaches the top, she’ll turn around and see him watching.
The competition is just local, but it’s got tons of kids. There are prizes for every age, and Sam is glad Noah isn’t climbing. She doesn’t want to be related to a Baby Boulder.
Noah watches with Courtney and Halle’s family while Sam gets a number pinned onto her shirt. She likes Halle’s number better, but that’s life. Halle gets 50. Sam gets 63.
All the parents have to stand back, because they’re crowding. They stand behind a certain line.
It’s confusing, because there are so many kids, and there is such a rush. Officials can’t wait for you. They can’t come looking for you. If you don’t listen up, you’ll miss your turn. Sam and Halle are in different groups for lead climbing, but they’re in the same group for bouldering. The way it works is you have to sit in folding chairs while you wait your turn. The folding chairs are all in a row facing away from the wall. That’s so you can’t see the handholds or learn from what the other kids are doing. No sharing beta in a competition.
While Sam is waiting in her folding chair, she looks down at her blue shoes. She has a real chalk pouch too. It’s belted on, so she can reach back and dip her fingers into the white powder.
Halle is sitting two chairs down, but all Sam can see is parents’ faces, proud, happy, scared. First, the parents are excited; then they’re crushed when their kid falls. They are so sad! But as soon as their kid comes running over, they pretend that everything is great. Good job!
A girl is crying, and her parents are hugging her, and they keep saying, It’s okay. You tried your best! Sam hopes her mom won’t do that. She doesn’t want to try her best; she wants to win.
She kind of knows she will. She has a feeling that once she gets up there nothing will stop her—but how can you win if it’s never your turn? Is she really on the list?
It’s hard to sit in a chair when you want to twist around and stretch and hang upside down, but you can’t even turn your head, because people might think you’re peeking.
Halle goes up. All the other girls go up. Sam waits forever and while she’s waiting, she keeps thinking he will be there. She will look down from the wall and he will be there—and he’ll be done having a rough time.
When she hears 63, she jumps, and suddenly she’s scared. It’s like swallowing ice. Fear hurts when it goes down.
She takes one look at the bouldering wall and then she’s climbing. The wall is angled, but it’s got good footholds near the bottom. She looks up and she thinks Reach. She knows what to do. She is strong, and she is fast, but everyone is watching, and the ice inside her makes her slip. Her feet don’t work in her new shoes. She climbs the wall, but barely.
She gets to try three routes for bouldering and three for lead, and each time she tries harder and each time she feels worse, because her dad was never holding a green pen.
In bouldering she falls onto the mat. In lead climbing, she slips and dangles from her rope in disbelief.
Halle gets ninth in bouldering and fifth in lead. Sam is seventeenth and twelfth. And Emily is on the podium. Emily who cries about everything is standing there in third place for bouldering while her parents take her picture.
Sam’s mom wants to take pictures too, but why? Sam did not do her best. She is not proud of herself, or anybody else. She wants to kick the wall and smash it with her fists. Her body is awake now. Hands, feet, toes.