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Leaving Newbie behind me, I shuffled to the door he hadn’t fully closed. I peered into the room for signs of people. No one was there, though I couldn’t trust my eyes.
One foot over the threshold, no one appeared from the closet or behind the door—another foot, still no one. I stood outside the crawl space, padding softly to the center of the room. I was one step away from the bedroom door when I heard footsteps. I pressed myself against the wall by the door. I strained to listen over the thumping of my heart.
The footsteps faded. I was safe, for now. With a deep breath, I shook myself from my state of paralysis. I peeked around the doorframe—no one was waiting for me in the hallway.
I tiptoed past the second bedroom. My computer desk and rickety desk chair from my college days remained where I’d placed them. I moved past the bathroom with my towels and rugs where I’d left them. On the landing was the green, wooden crescent-shaped table Betty’s children—rather, child—left behind.
I crouched down by the railing overlooking the stairs. In each hand, I gripped a post, listening for voices or footsteps, wondering if I’d made a smart decision leaving the knife behind. Images of being overpowered by Joe, stabbed with the same blade that killed Newbie, were too unbearable. It was a risk I wasn’t prepared to take. I’d find another way.
Joe and Andy’s voices traveled from the living room. I pressed my right ear in between the wooden spindles. “I don’t think Mark is going to make it through all of this,” Joe said. “He seems to be having a tough time, have you noticed? I think he got a little too close with Erin. It’s a shame. He was such a good kid. I don’t know why he had to fall for someone like her.”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Andy said. “He just needs to get out for a little while. He’s been through a lot, has had to do a lot. I think he’s drained emotionally and physically. Neither of us expected this to go on for so long.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Joe’s voice was sympathetic. “I guess I could give him a break for a while, give him time to collect himself. Do you think he told her anything?”
“No, I don’t. Why would he? Are you planning to tell her? It would answer some of her questions, but could she handle it? She’s different now than during those weeks Mark and I watched her. She’s stronger than she appeared, more confident, which makes it difficult to judge her frame of mind.”
“She’s changed that much from when you boys had followed her?” Joe’s curiosity was piqued.
“Yeah.”
“How so?”
“We’d seen her with her ex, around her mom, her friends, always willing to do whatever they wanted, but now she stands up for herself. She makes her own decisions. It might be time to rethink our strategy before she becomes a loose cannon we can’t control.”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Joe agreed. “I had hoped to avoid that, but sometimes, God has other plans that He expects you to obey.”
Their conversation ended on that note. Whatever happened to me next was in God’s hands.
I leaned back on the heels of my feet, processing what they’d said. Newbie had made comments about how unfortunate it was that we had to meet under these circumstances. I’d assumed he was referring to the time spent in the house. According to Joe and Andy, Newbie had been watching me for weeks, maybe longer. What was the purpose of their stalking me? What information had they gained?
“Why don’t you go see what’s keeping Mark?” Joe’s voice climbed the stairs.
Panic swelled inside my stomach before exploding in my chest. I fell backward with a thud that I prayed no one downstairs heard. I had to hide. I couldn’t trust Andy to keep my freedom a secret. But where to hide? I sprung to my feet, spinning in a half-circle, contemplating my options. The bathroom was out; hiding in the tub was useless. The closet in the spare bedroom was a possibility if I desired to prolong the inevitable. When he couldn’t find me in the crawl space, it wouldn’t take long to look in that bedroom. That left one logical option. I had to go back to the crawl space.
I tiptoed back to where I’d escaped from less than five minutes before with a heavy, frustrated heart. Without certainty that Andy was on my side, I had no other choice. He expected me in the crawl space, and that was where he’d find me.
Once inside, an explanation for the unlocked latch became imperative. I closed the door, prepared to say Newbie had forgotten to lock it when he left. When Andy would ask why I didn’t leave, I’d deny knowing it was unlocked. If necessary, I’d say the shock of learning he and Newbie were Joe’s sons prevented me from assuming differently. My lies would work, as long as he didn’t look inside or press for Newbie’s whereabouts.
Andy entered the room with only seconds to spare. I released an inner sigh of relief despite the overwhelming sense of despair in returning to my hole in the wall with a dead Newbie whose skin was already ice cold.
My focus was Andy, convincing him Newbie wasn’t with me while also keeping him from trapping me inside, locking the door behind him.
The door creaked as it swung open. “Erin? Mark? Are you guys in there?” Andy called for us, leery as to why the door wasn’t locked.
“I’m here, Andy. Mark left me a while ago.” A white lie. Where he went, he had to take his soul with him.
“Where did he go? I’ve been downstairs this whole time.”
“I’m not sure where he went. He did mention going outside, something about needing fresh air.”
“I don’t know how he could have left without me seeing him.”
“It’s easy to sneak out the kitchen door leading into the backyard without being heard.”
“It’s strange, though, that he wouldn’t have said anything or locked the door.” He swung the door back and forth. “You didn’t know that he hadn’t locked it?”
I shuffled closer to the opening to see Andy better while also blocking his view of Newbie behind me. “Like I said, he came then left. As for the door, I never checked; there hasn’t been a single incident when that door wasn’t locked while I was confined inside.”
“I guess I missed him. Any idea how long ago that was?”
“Seriously? It’s not like I have a clock in here. Even if I did, why would I keep track of his absence?” I directed an incredulous stare toward him. He was distracted, pondering how Newbie snuck off without him.
“Sorry, of course, you wouldn’t know.” He blinked away his wandering thoughts, returning his attention to me. “Are you doing okay?”
I rolled my eyes heavenward. “Never better.”
“I just meant with learning of mine and Mark’s relationship with Joe.”
“I’ll be fine. What happens now?”
“I’ve been talking to Joe, and I think he’s in agreement that you need to leave.”
Yeah, I bet he is. If he has his way, I’ll be leaving in a body bag.
“Don’t worry about me, Andy, I’ll be fine. In fact, I’m better than I’ve been in a while.”
I knelt in the crawl space opening. Being that close made the worry in his eyes and on his knitted brow more evident. I’d become an enigma. While he and Newbie had followed me, he assumed he’d discovered the true me. Downstairs, he’d said I was more confident, stronger now than before. That was a truth stirring panic in his warped mind.
Without knowing which side he was on, I intended to continue stirring the pot, shaking the unsteady ground he stood on until he either helped me or gave up on Joe’s plan and ran away.
“You know I can’t let you out just yet, right? Soon, though. I promise.”
“Everything will work out, Andy, one way or another.” His face fell, and the color left in his cheeks drained. He was scared for me...or of me. “You need to relax. Maybe you could check into a motel, try and unwind.” I smirked.
“Could be nice.” He chuckled. I joined him in his moments’ reprieve until reality reared its ugly head. Our laughter ceased as we faced the grim truths that laid ahead of us.
Although I hoped otherwise, the near future would bring Andy and me together again, forced to help each other or turn on each other. Side with Joe or side with righteousness.
“Perhaps someday.”
“Perhaps.”
“Andy?”
“Hmm...?”
“Joe wants to kill me, doesn’t he? You lied earlier. He has no intention of letting me leave, does he?”
He pinched his nose and worked his lips in a fit of nerves. “I don’t want that to happen.” Downturned eyes stared into mine. “I’m sorry for your situation. You didn’t deserve any of this. What’s worse is I helped him. Though it’s worth little, please know I didn’t want to help him. As you know, when Joe tells you to do something, there’s no room for resistance.”
“Yeah, I do know. That was one of the first lessons he taught me.”
“I know it isn’t my place,” he began, directing our conversation away from Joe, “but it’s important that you know Mark does love you. I’ve never seen him like he is when he talks about you.
“He had a rough childhood, which kept him from allowing anybody to get close to him emotionally. His mother gave him up or might have died. Joe’s stories varied daily. His one consistency was that he never gave Mark his birth mother’s name. If Joe doesn’t want you to know something, you don’t know it, that’s just the way it is.”
“That’s horrible. What about you? Do you know your mother?”
Andy’s posture changed as if an alarm sounded that only he could hear. His back straightened. His face turned stoic.
“No,” he snapped.
I cursed myself for mentioning his mother. After hearing Newbie’s story, my curiosity got the better of me. I doubted she was a whore. Joe would never have bedded such a woman, just like I doubted Newbie’s mother gave him up for adoption. Joe would never allow his child to be raised by anyone but him.
Joe perpetuated those lies to control Newbie and Andy, to convince two small kids that their mothers were bad people, that he was the only person they could trust. He used lies to mold them into obedient soldiers to do his bidding.
Andy stepped back from the open doorway. Still on my knees, I peered out, debating whether to follow him. I placed a hesitant foot flat on the bedroom floor. He did not attempt to push me back inside. He stood, expressionless. Concern that I was walking into a trap escalated.
It was a risk I had to take.
I freed myself from the crawl space. As he stepped toward me, my back pressed into the door’s molding. With a fresh set of eyes, I examined his face, finding the similarity between him and his father that I’d missed before. It was the eyes—deep brown minus the threatening, devilish undertone.
Frame still rigid, he placed one hand on each of my shoulders and, with a stern expression, offered me advice.
“The time has come that you take back the power you’ve given Joe. It’s irrelevant how, but I knew who you were before him. You’ve changed since knowing him, grown stronger, which will help in defeating him.
“He will try to confuse you, make you doubt yourself, and everything you know and believe, but you can’t let him. Be strong. Whatever he says about anyone in your life is meant to hurt you, break down the emotions that bind you to those you love. He gets in your head, and if you let him, he will never leave, trust me.
“I know Mark came up here, and I know he never came back down. I don’t want to know what happened, but Joe will. You’re going to tell him what you told me. I’ll corroborate your story. Before we go, I have one question for you. Do you think he is happy now?”
He was talking about Newbie. Somehow, he knew he was dead.
“I think Mark is much better now,” I said, keeping my answer vague, unwilling to fall into the trap of admitting I killed him.
I expected anger or sadness. Instead, I saw relief, happiness that Newbie had been freed from Joe’s clutch. He smiled and pulled me into a hug. My arms hung heavy at my sides.
He leaned down, whispering into my ear. “Thank you for loving him that much.”
I wanted to explain my actions didn’t come from a place of love, but for Andy’s peace of mind, I refrained. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps love for Newbie as a fellow human being in pain was what spurred my actions.
Andy and I were torn apart by an unwelcome outsider. “You filthy whore!” Joe shouted, his cheeks boiling with rage as he gripped my upper arm. Pain tingled down into my fingers. “One son wasn’t enough. Now you’re corrupting another? You are despicable. I can’t believe either of my sons would fall for your wiles.” His stare impaled me like Jesus to the cross.
I was thrown down. My head bounced off the floor.
Death had me by the ankles. It wasn’t going to be much longer before my body relented, turning into ice like Newbie’s.