11
We’ll See What’s Up
Stacy sat in the living room, listening to the sound of Tony’s footsteps as he entered the kitchen from the garage. She heard them stop, and knew that he’d opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. It was a daily ritual, popping a cold one as soon as he got home. He’d only have one beer a day, max. He was too aware of staying in shape to drink more than that. Cognac, however, was another story. After she heard the beer can top pop, she heard Tony’s steps continue. Hiding the paper she’d been reading within an Essence magazine, she called out. “Hey, Tone.”
“Hey.” Instead of turning right, toward the living room from where she’d greeted him, he went left, and up the stairs to the bedrooms above. Not a good sign, but not a total surprise. He was home earlier than usual, which typically meant one of two things: he’d run out of potential opportunities to track down. Or he was in pain. Or both.
Stacy didn’t know what to do, didn’t like this state of flux that she’d felt for months, ever since the Cardinals had released Tony from their roster. This life was so different from the one she’d imagined when they met. The living room and bright Phoenix sunshine faded behind her memories of that better time—when their friendship went to another level and both decided to give the relationship a try.
Things had gotten off to a rocky start. After showing genuine interest in her at one of the Montgomerys’ legendary Sunday dinners, Stacy had thrown a hitch in the giddyup when after Darius and Bo had shown up at the same dinner she began overtly flirting with the defensive back. Tony immediately peeped her try-and-make-Darius-jealous game and made it known that he didn’t want to play. He’d cooled things until the day he’d seen her leaving a hospital as he entered, the day she’d found out that a lump in her breast was malignant. Tony had recently had his own indirect battle with the C word, had almost lost his mom to cancer. His understanding and compassion thawed the ice between them, and as he cared for her during and after her lumpectomy, their friendship began to grow. And then there was his proposal that brought the heat and changed the game! Stacy smiled, remembering. It had started with a date at the Getty Museum, after learning that both she and Tony had a love for art. Even so, she’d never visited the museum and hadn’t been able to ignore her man’s class in choosing such a location. They walked the grounds, opening up even more about their feelings for each other. Then they’d heard a jazz trio playing, and had moved closer to listen to them.
“Shall we?” Tony asked.
Stacy looked around. “We can sit here?”
“Why not?”
“It looks like it’s reserved.”
“Baby,” Tony said, leaning over a bit, “my knee is acting up. If it is reserved we can sit down until whoever’s got the table gets here.”
They sat down at the center table, and soon the couple were taken to paradise on the wings of smooth jazz. A card on the table informed them that the group, the Musical Messengers, were on a twenty-five-city tour and would be at the Getty only this weekend. When they broke into a jazzy rendition of Marvin Sapp’s “Never Would Have Made It,” Stacy unexpectedly teared up.
“They’re playing gospel,” she whispered, wiping her eyes. “I love that song.”
“Me too,” Tony said. He kept his arms around her as the trio played. After the bridge, the saxophone player stepped to the mike and began reciting an original poem:
“Never would have made it, without God in my life,
And now I don’t want to go on without you by side.
You are the air I breathe, the sun that shines,
And I’d be so grateful if you’d be mine because . . .”
And now I don’t want to go on without you by side.
You are the air I breathe, the sun that shines,
And I’d be so grateful if you’d be mine because . . .”
Tony, getting down on his knees, began speaking along with the saxophonist and then finished the poem he’d written and then given to the musician when he set up this whole surprise. The saxophonist dropped out and Tony continued.
“I never would have made it, and I don’t want to take it,
Take life without you. Stacy, baby, you turn my gray skies blue.
You have my heart. I love you. Will you marry me?”
Take life without you. Stacy, baby, you turn my gray skies blue.
You have my heart. I love you. Will you marry me?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. Stacy could barely see it for crying.
“Tony!”
“I know it may feel like I’m moving too quickly. But I’ve waited my whole life for you. I know we can work. Because even now, before we’re lovers, you’re my best friend. Marry me, baby. And make me the happiest man on the planet.”
“Yes,” Stacy whispered, and then again, louder, “Yes! I’ll marry you!”
“You’ll be my wifey, baby?” he asked as he slipped the ring on her finger.
“Yes, baby, I’ll be your wifey.”
Stacy wiped her eyes as she came back to the present moment, her heart beating faster with the blessed memories of that event. In that moment, she recommitted to Tony, and to God. I’m right here, baby. You and me together, we can do this. We’ll get through this....
“Why are you crying?” Tony leaned against the living room’s entryway, an unreadable expression on his face.
Stacy hadn’t heard him descending the stairs. “Babe!” She hurriedly wiped the tears from her eyes. “I didn’t hear you come down.”
Tony walked into the room, sat in a chair opposite the couch where Stacy reclined. “What’s the matter?”
Stacy looked over at the only man she’d ever loved, besides her baby’s father, Darius Crenshaw. She hoped that the love she felt in her heart showed in her eyes. “Would you believe I’ve just taken a nostalgic walk down memory lane? I was remembering the night you proposed. It is singularly the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “What can I say? Now, as then, it brought me to tears.”
Tony rose from the chair and joined her on the couch. He took the woman he’d loved enough to give her his last name in his arms. “That was a good day.”
“The best.”
“You know I love you, right?”
She shifted her body to face him, and wrapped her much smaller hands around his large ones. “I love you too, Tony. And I’m so proud of you.”
Tony’s demeanor immediately changed.
Oops. Wrong words. Who knew?
Tony removed his hands and jumped up from the couch. “What do you have to be proud of me about? Huh? I’m an out of work ball player trying to come back from what is looking more and more like a career-ending injury. I’m being courted by half-ass networks for half-ass sportscaster jobs. We’re getting ready to see our net worth decrease exponentially, which means my child support payments will have to go down, which means their mothers will start tripping even more than they do now!” He came and stood over Stacy, causing her heart to leap into her throat. “What part of that equation do you find worth being proud about, huh? Huh?”
Stacy took a deep breath before she looked into her husband’s somewhat scary face. She didn’t like how he was standing over her, didn’t like the fear that bubbled from her core to her stomach and from her stomach to her head, bringing on the hints of a migraine. She’d shared with Hope how some retired athletes couldn’t handle the transition, becoming different men than the ones the women had married. Are you worried that Tony will change like that? That’s what Hope had asked, and right now ... ? Stacy simply did not know what Tony was capable of doing.
“I remember a sermon where Pastor Montgomery quoted that it wasn’t what happened to us, but how we handle it,” she finally answered, forcing her voice to remain calm and steady. “In the face of some pretty challenging circumstances, you are still a strong, good man. That is why I’m proud of you.”
Tony continued to hover over her with a silent intensity. Stacy eyed him steadily before looking beyond him, noticing a pair of sparrows frolicking in her wilting rosebushes. She abstractly remembered that the gardeners would come tomorrow and water the bushes drying prematurely under Arizona’s relentless sun. It was only June, but she already knew the summer would be a scorcher. She only hoped that her husband’s anger wouldn’t outdo the record-breaking temperatures that Phoenix expected.
“That’s bullshit,” he finally said, turning and walking toward the window in time to see the birds that Stacy had observed leave the rosebushes and fly off in pursuit of each other. “But I know you’re trying to make me feel better. I appreciate it.”
“I married the man you are, not what you do.”
“I know that. I believe that.”
After a roller coaster of emotions within minutes, they’d reached a tender moment, one that had been rare in the last few months. Stacy didn’t want the moment to end, so she mentioned something safe, something that almost always put a smile on Tony’s face. “I’ve been thinking about the Fourth of July holiday, maybe spending it in LA and being able to spend at least part of it with Shea, Justin, and DJ, all of us together doing something fun.”
Tony looked out the window for another moment before turning to face her. “It’s funny that you should mention LA. I finally got the call and will definitely be doing a walk-on at their training camp.”
“That’s great, baby! I know you’d love to be back in LA. Me too.”
It was true. Tony had loved playing in California. And now that this new team had been formed, and the Coliseum rebuilt, he’d like nothing better than to end his career in the City of Angels. “I’m not getting my hopes up but . . . it’s a shot.”
“I talked to Hope today and she’d just gotten off the phone with Lady Viv. She’s putting together the next Sanctity of Sisterhood conference and wants my help. She told Hope that if we were in town for the fourth, we were welcome to their barbecue.”
A slight frown scampered across Tony’s face before he settled his features into an unreadable mask. “We’ll see what’s up.” Without another word, he walked away.
Okay, what just happened? These mood swings were throwing Stacy off balance; one second the two of them could be in a great place and the next second he’d be filled with attitude. Walking on eggshells was an understatement. Anything could set him off. Stacy opened the Essence magazine and continued reading the paper that she’d hidden inside it when Tony came home. She was an optimist, but she was also a realist. If anything shaky jumped off between her and Tony Johnson, she planned to be prepared.