Dear Barry,
Healing is finding peace with what is, while still cherishing all the rest. It will come, give it time. You never forget, you never stop loving and yearning, but there is still joy to be discovered. I was thinking about survivor guilt this morning on the way to work. Everyone I know who has been through the loss of a loved one suffers from guilt for something—some slight, a cross word, a promise broken, etc. But guilt is our way of believing we had the power to change the outcome if only we had … done something more, said something different.
We can't admit, at least for a long time, that we were powerless, utterly powerless in the face of the tsunami that hit us. For now, we are learning to be survivors, caretakers, the ones left standing.