Too angry to sleep, Hannah tosses and turns for most of the night. After months and years of wondering, she now has her answer. Maui. Her father has been living in Hawaii with his mistress. In three years, four months, and twenty-four days, he placed not a single text message, email, or phone call to Hannah. She wishes him dead. It wouldn’t hurt so much.
Around five thirty, Hannah finally gives up on sleep and rolls out of bed. Throwing a lightweight fleece on over her pajamas, she kisses Gus’s sweaty forehead, grabs her camera bag, and slips quietly out of the room, closing the bedroom door behind her.
The apartment’s only bathroom separates their room from Birdie’s, and Gus knows to go to his grandmother if he wakes and finds his mommy gone.
She brews coffee in a to-go cup and hurries down the stairs. Opening the door, she steps out side and stumbles over a large round object, the shape of a tree trunk, on the ground. The coffee flies out of her hand, but she manages to catch herself before falling. The object groans and moves into a sitting position. From beneath his hooded sweatshirt, Hannah recognizes her father’s handsome face and his green eyes so like her own.
“What the heck, Dad? Are you homeless now?”
“Hannah!” He scrambles to his feet. “Look at you all grown up. That’s quite the handsome son you’ve got.”
Hannah jabs her finger in his face. “Stay. Away. From. My son. And from me. You are not welcome here. We want nothing to do with you.”
Closing and locking the bakery door, Hannah spins on the heels of her flip flops and sprints down the back alley to the park.
Her father calls, “Hannah! Wait!”
Hannah’s heart aches for him to come after her. To explain his disappearance. To apologize for not contacting her during all this time. To tell her he loves her despite his betrayal. But there are no footfalls on the pavement behind her.
Rounding the corner of the cafe, she hurries down to the marina’s floating dock, slides her kayak in the water, and paddles off into the predawn light. When she’s a safe distance away, she stops rowing and rests her arms in her lap while she catches her breath.
Her father had called her grown up. She looks down at her fleece and flannel pajama bottoms. She hasn’t grown up at all. She’s no longer in college. And she’s managing her own web design business. But she’s still living with her mother and not paying rent. Still on her mother’s health insurance plan. Even though she’s out in the open, surrounded by the inlet and the ocean beyond, she feels the world closing in on her.
She thinks back to yesterday’s conversation with Birdie. The only thing in life that’s constant is change, Hannah. Like the change of tides. The water goes out, and you’re at your lowest, but then it comes rushing in, and your riding high again.
Hannah has seen some low tides since her father left. The months after his disappearance when she was hiding her pregnancy from her friends. That awful summer when she and Birdie were at each other’s throats. Since Gus was born, she’s been paddling against the incoming tide without making any headway. This isn’t her life. This is a sliver she borrowed from her mother. She’s been hiding behind her mother’s skirt, afraid to venture out into the world.
When she reaches her spot, she pulls alongside the abandoned dock while she readies her camera. She spots a solitary heron nearby. The elegant curve of his long neck against the green marsh grass with the backdrop of the rising pink sun makes for a stunning image. Hannah raises the camera, focuses the lens, but when she’s ready to snap the photograph, her finger freezes over the shutter button. Her father gave her this camera and telephoto lens as a Christmas gift one week before he disappeared. Every time she presses the shutter, she wonders where he is, whether he’s still alive. Most days, using his gift makes her feel close to him. But today, she questions whether he purchased the equipment with embezzled funds. She’s always been able to overlook the likelihood. The camera is their one remaining bond, too precious to give up. But now, it’s like a handle of a boiling pot scalding her hands. Without separating the lens from the body, she stuffs the whole camera in her bag.
Navigating the kayak around the dock, she’s heading for home when her phone pings in jacket pocket. The text is from Ethan. I woke up thinking about you out on the water at dawn. Your eyes sparkle when you talk about the wildlife.
She likes his texts, and seconds later, her phone vibrates with an incoming call.
“Morning.” Ethan’s husky voice stirs something deep inside of her that has been asleep for far too long.
“Good morning. You’re up awfully early.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I promised not to pressure you into making a decision about our partnership before you’re ready, but I think it might help for you to spend more time in Charleston. Can you come to Charleston on Saturday? We’ll spend the day on the water, and I’ll take you to dinner afterward.”
Hannah’s mind races. Spending the weekend in Charleston intrigues her. A lot, actually. But who will take care of Gus? This weekend is Memorial Day. Birdie with be busy at the cafe.
“I’ll need to check with my mom. She’s counting on me to help out in the cafe over the holiday weekend.” This isn’t a total lie. She sometimes helps out when they are slammed.
“My parents have a guest house if you need a place to stay.”
Parents? Does he introduce all his co-workers to his parents? “My best friend is in med school at MUSC. I could stay with her.” She promises to get back to him later today or tomorrow before ending the call.
Hannah and Ethan shared much about their lives over oysters and wine the previous evening. He spoke of his life growing up on the Battery and his college years at the University of Alabama. And she told him about her love of photography and the wildlife in the inlet. But she didn’t mention Gus. Her son is the one aspect of her life she keeps private at all times. Never once has she posted Gus’s photograph on social media. Before she’s accept Ethan’s partnership deal, she’ll need to tell him the truth. He may not want a single parent of a small child as a partner.
The sound of loud knocking wakes Birdie from a deep sleep. Slipping on her worn terrycloth robe, she hurries down the stairs to the backdoor. Cary is standing in the alley with his hands pressed together.
“Please, Birdie. I’m begging you. I need a place to stay. Only for a few nights until I can find a job. I literally have one dollar left.” He tugs his wallet out of his back pocket and opens it to show her the dollar bill. “All of my credit cards are maxed out.”
Birdie plants a hand on her hip. “And who’s fault is that?”
“No one’s but my own.” He takes a step toward her. “Your a good, Christian woman. Please, can’t you take pity on a poor soul like me?”
“Enough with the horse malarkey, Cary. Even if I wanted to help you, which I definitely don’t, there’s not enough room. We’re crammed in here like sardines as it is.”
“You have a sofa, don’t you?”
“Yes. And one small bathroom. I’m sorry, Cary. You’ll have to find somewhere else to stay. Maybe one of your friends will take you in, although I seriously doubt it.”
When she moves to shut the door, he sticks his foot out blocking her progress. “I tried them all before I came to you. I’m persona non grata around here.”
“Are you surprised?”
Staring at the ground, he shakes his head.
“You’re better off starting over in a new town where no one knows you. If I give you a couple hundred bucks, will you go away and never come back?”
“I can’t start over somewhere new until I make things right with the people I care about on Palmetto Island.”
She grips the doorknob. “If you really care about us, you would never have betrayed us.”
He moves forward, leaning against the doorjamb so she can’t shut the door. “I was weak, Birdie. I let Melinda convince me I deserved a better life. Not that I was ever unhappy in our marriage. But I was bored. And I think you were too. Melinda’s a financial genius. She quadrupled my money in a matter of months. I was planning to pay Jonathan back and wire you enough money so you wouldn’t have to sell the house. But then she went berserk on me. She hid my money from me in offshore accounts.”
“That’s illegal.”
“I’m aware.”
“Then why didn’t you turn this Melinda person into the cops?”
“Because I was equally as guilty. And I didn’t want to go to jail. Although, as it turns out, I’ve been living in a different kind of prison. With Melinda as my captor. With no access to my bank accounts, I was at her beck and call. Then one morning, I woke up to find she’d disappeared.”
He looks so wounded, Birdie almost feels sorry for him. “Just as you did to me.”
“She left me three twenty-dollar bills and a plane ticket to Charleston. Despite everything, I’m relieved to be away from her. She’s a evil person. I hope she gets what’s coming to her.” Cary’s fingers craze Birdie’s forearm. “I don’t expect you to welcome me back into your lives after the terrible things I did. I just want a chance to show you how sorry I am. I can make it up to you, if you let me.”
“Make it up to us how? You have one dollar to your name. You have nothing to offer us.”
“I can be a grandfather to Hannah’s little boy.”
This is true. Gus does need a male figure in his life.
Cary goes on. “I can help out around the cafe. I’ll do whatever you need. I just a little time to get back on my feet.”
Birdie’s resolve weakens. She’s not without feelings. If his story is legit, Cary is every bit the victim she and Hannah once were. “There will be a very long list of rules you’ll have to follow.”
“I expect nothing less,” he says.
Birdie lets out a slow breath. “Hannah won’t be happy about this.”
“All the more reason to give me this chance.”
She bends her arm, pointer finger aimed at the ceiling. “One sign of trouble and your outta here.”
“I’m not here to cause trouble, Birdie. I’m here to make amends.”
At the dock, Hannah stores the kayak, but instead of going straight home, she stops in at the hotel. She’s always been able to talk to Max about things she can’t discuss with either of her parents. Her mother’s best friend has a way of helping Hannah see situations in a different light.
Hannah finds Max in the lounge and drags her back through the lobby to the boardwalk outside. “Guess who’s back in town.”
Max’s blue eyes darken. “Your daddy?”
“Yep. Just like that.” Hannah snaps her fingers. “He reappears as suddenly as he disappeared.” She brings Max to speed about her father’s visit with her mother last night and about stumbling over him this morning in the alley behind the bakery.
Max falls back against the wooden railing. “Your poor mama. This must be so hard for her.”
“Do you think she’ll get back together with him?”
“She claims she’s over him. For Birdie’s sake, I hope she is. She’s been doing so well with the cafe and not drinking. This could really set her back.”
“Dad’s been shacking up with some woman in Maui for the past three years. I’d like to think Mom has more pride than to take him back.” Propping her elbows on the railing, Hannah buries her face in her hands. “How am I supposed to act around him, Max?”
“I can’t answer that for you, sweetheart. This is a difficult situation. You need to take it as it comes. You might start by hearing his side of the story. Let him explain why he did the things he did.”
“Then he’ll say he’s sorry and ask me to forgive him. But he doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.”
Max pulls Hannah in for a half hug. “Sometimes forgiveness does more for the person doing the forgiving than the person asking for it.”
“What’s that supposed to me?”
“If we don’t address them, our negative emotions fester inside of us, and over time, we become bitter. If you have a chance to reconcile, and you don’t take it, you might later regret it.”
Hannah pushes away from Max, placing her back to the water. “When I thought Dad might have committed suicide, I felt sorry for him. Knowning he’s alive and didn’t reach out to me one single time in all these years makes it easy to hate him. I just want him to leave town.”
“Hate is a powerful word, Hannah. You’re angry with your father and understandably so. But keep that big beautiful heart of yours open. Give him a chance to make amends.”
Hannah turns to face Max. “Seriously? Would you be able to do the same thing if you were in my shoes?”
Max laughs. “Not a chance. But I’m half the compassionate and loving soul you are.” She smacks Hannah on the butt. “Now get on home to that adorable son of yours. And give him a hug from Maxie.”
On the way around to the back of the bakery, Hannah says a silent prayer that her father has left town again, but when she enters the coat room, she hears the sound of Cary’s voice and Gus’s giggles coming from the upstairs apartment.
Hanging her camera bag on a wall hook, Hannah crawls on all fours up the stairs. Both her father and son are lying, belly down, on the hardwood floor in front of Gus’s wooden train set. She watches grandfather and grandson interact. Instead of rolling the train around the track like Hannah does when she plays train, her father makes two engines collide with a series of loud crashing noises. Gus burst into laughter and topples over onto his side.
Her father is not what Hannah had in mind for her son’s male role model. “What do you think you’re doing? I told you to stay away from my son.”
She scoops Gus up off the floor and carries his wiggling body to his room, depositing him on his bed. She wags her finger at him. “Stay here until I tell you to come out.”
Ignoring his sobs, she closes the door behind her when she leaves the room. She marches over to where her father is now standing beside the abandoned train set. “Who let you in here? And where’s Mom? Mom!” she hollers.
“I’m right here, sweetheart.”
Hannah spins around to see her mother emerging from her room. Birdie is dressed for work in jeans, the cafe’s yellow logo polo, and her apron. “Your father’s going to stay with us for a few days until he gets his life together.”
Hannah’s brow shoots up to her hairline. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Probably. But he’s in trouble, and we should help him out.”
“Seriously?” Hannah jabs her finger at her father. “And where was he when we were in trouble? You were struggling with alcoholism and I was pregnant. Have you forgotten that he abandoned us?”
Her mother’s expression turns to stone. “I will never forget that, Hannah. But I’m capable of being the better person. And so are you. When you hear your father’s side of the story, you’ll feel—”
“Nothing. I will never feel anything for him again except . . .” Max’s words enter her head. Hate is a powerful word, Hannah. She turns back around to face her father. “I feel nothing for you. Nothing whatsoever.”
The sound of Gus’s cries grow louder from behind her bedroom door. “Is Gus alright?” Birdie asks. “Why is he crying?”
A stab of guilt grips her chest. She took her anger at her father out on her child. “Nothing good will come from you living here. Stay away from me and my son,” she hisses.
Hannah storms out of the room to her bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, she takes Gus in her arms. He swings his little fists at her, and she locks her arms tight around him. “Let’s both take some deep breaths so we can calm down.”
When she inhales and exhales loudly, he follows her lead. The tension leaves his body and she hugs him close. “I’m so sorry, sweet boy. I shouldn’t have gotten angry.”
He wipes his runny nose on her fleece. “Are you mad at me?”
“Not at all.” Hannah holds her son away from her body so she can see his face. “That man out there is my father. Your grandfather.”
Gus nods. “Are you mad a Pops?”
Pops? Gus didn’t think up that name on his own. Her father is already dictating their lives. “I haven’t seen him in a while. It’s complicated grown up stuff. Nothing for you to worry about. Hey, what say you and I get dressed and go to Rudy’s Diner for breakfast?”
“Can I have pancakes?”
Pancakes are a special treat, reserved for Sunday mornings only. “You can have pancakes.”
Gus places his soft hand on her cheek. “Can Pops come?”
“Not this time, sweetheart.”
Her father has cast his spell on her son, just as he did to Hannah when she was a child. This apartment is definitely too small for Hannah and her father to live together. But is the town too small as well?