Gus is so excited about seeing his dad, he exhausts himself from talking about it and falls asleep before they cross the Ashley River into Charleston. As she drives through downtown, she imagines Ethan at work in his office on xxx Street. She years to stop in for a visit. To walk with him hand-in-hand along the sea wall. To have coffee with Liza followed by a working lunch with Chris. She’s ready for this life now. July is three weeks away, which feels like an eternity. She can’t stop obsessing about the house on Queen Street. The apartment is vacant. Maybe Heidi Butler will let her move in early.
Hannah glances at the clock on the dashboard and then over at her son. She got an early start and has plenty of time. She’ll at least drive by the house. She makes a hard right onto Rutledge Avenue and drives through the MUSC campus and across Calhoun Street, turning left onto Queen Street beside Colonial Lake.
A little voice from he back seat says, “Where are we, Momm? Are we at Paw-wey’s Island?”
“No, sweetheart. We’re in Charleston. I need to make a quick stop. It won’t take long.”
Hope and Sally are in the yard when Hannah pulls up alongside the curb in front of the gray single. She gets out of her car and waves.
Hope calls out to her. “Hey, there! Back for another look?”
Hannah walks over to the fence to speak with her. “I don’t have an appointment. I’m on my way to Pawley’s for the weekend, and I thought I’d drive by. I can’t stop thinking about this house. I’m guessing Heidi hasn’t lowered the rent since Monday.”
Hope’s smile lights up her face. She’s pretty in a soft way that hints at a genuine soul. “I don’t think so. But she’s upstairs now. You could ask if she’ll work with you on the rent.”
Hannah’s heart rate slows at beat. “Is she showing the apartment to someone?”
“I don’t think so. She’s alone right now. I’m not sure what she’s doing up there.” Hope’s gaze shifts left, and she notices Gus in the back seat. “Aww. Is that your little boy? Can he play with Sally for a minute? I’ll keep an eye on him while you talk to Heidi.”
“Sure!” Hannah says and helps Gus out of the car. “I want you to meet some friends of mine. Gus, this is Miss Hope and her daughter, Sally.”
Sally runs around the fence to Gus. “Wanna play Matchbox cars in my sandbox with me?”
Gus squints his blue eyes at her. “But you’re a girl.”
“So.” Sally gives him a sassy head shake, her blonde ponytail bouncing on her shoulders. “Girls can play cars, too.”
“Okay,” Gus says, as though intimidated by this adorable creature who looks like a girl but acts like a boy.
“I think Gus has met his match,” Hannah says, watching the kiddos walk back around the fence to the sand box.
Hope gestures at the house. “Go talk to Heidi. We’ll be right here.”
“Right. What do I have to lose?” She retrieves her bag from the car and climbs the steps to the second floor apartment. The door is open and she wanders in, admiring the open floor plan with large living room and adjacent kitchen.
Heidi looks up from wiping down the kitchen counter. “Hey, Hannah,” she says, blowing a strand of white blonde hair out of her face. “This is a surprise.”
“I was on my way through town, and I thought I’d drive by. I was hoping to see the apartment again, if it’s still available.”
“Oh. Gosh.” Heidi sets her sponge in the sink and comes from behind the counter. “I took a verbal commitment on the phone this morning from a young couple moving to the area from Chicago. I was just sprucing up for them. They’re planning to move in on Sunday. I’m sorry. If I’d know you were serious about it . . .”
“The rent is more than I can afford, but thanks, anyway.” Tears sting Hannah’s eyelids as she turns to leave.
Heidi follows her out onto the piazza, and placing an arm on her shoulder, she walks Hannah to the railing. “I’m sorry. You’ll find something else. Houses and apartments come up for rent all the time around here. If I hear of anything, I’ll be sure to give you a call.”
“That’d be great, thanks.”
They stand at the balcony, watching the kids play in the sandbox. “Isn’t he adorable? I love the blonde curls. I take it he’s your little boy.”
“Yes. That’s Gus. We’re on our way to Pawley’s for the weekend. Have a good day, Heidi. And sorry for barging in.”
Hannah feels Heidi’s eyes on her as she descends the stairs, claims her son, and says goodbye to Hope and Sally. Gus sobs as she buckles him into his car seat. “I wanna play with Sally.”
“We’re going to see your daddy, remember? He’s waiting for us.” Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she retrieves her iPad from her bag, accesses the episodes PAW Patrol she’d downloaded, and places it in his lap.
Tears stream down Hannah’s cheeks as she pulls aways from the curb and makes her way through downtown. Serves her right for being so indecisive. She could have afforded the rent. She admits that to herself now, but she’s known it all along. She was afraid to commit for fear of . . . For fear of what? Something better coming along? Her deal with Chris falling through? Leaving Birdie’s nest?
She wipes her eyes and steadies her breath, collecting herself for the drive across the intimidating Ravenel Bridge. She’s entering Mount Pleasant when her phone rings. The sound of Chris’s voice perks her up. “I found matching fake oriental rugs in my parents’ attic. Mom says we can have them for our office. They’re beautiful, Hannah, in shades of pinks and grays. Envision this. The rugs will go under our desks which will face away from the windows. Screens painted a glossy pale gray will separate our workspace. We’ll have pendant lights, credenzas against the wall, and floating shelves above them. What do you think so far?”
Hannah smiles. Chris’s enthusiasm is contagious. “Love it. Go on.”
“Our conference table will go in the center of the room, and near our logo wall, we’ll stage the waiting area with sofa, chairs, a fluffy rug, and hip magazines like Garden and Gun on the coffee table. And I know it sounds like a lot, but we don’t have to do it all at once.”
Hannah thinks about her life savings, sitting in her bank account waiting to be spent. She already missed out on her dream apartment. She can’t let her fears hold her back any longer. “Or maybe we can if we make smart purchases.”
“Yay! I was hoping you’d say that. I created a Pinterest board with some ideas. I’ll go through my parents attic again. My mom has good taste. I’m sure I can find some more odds and ends. Please tell me you’re moving to Charleston, soon. I’m dying to get started.”
“I need to find somewhere to live first,” Hannah says and tells Chris about losing out on the Queen Street apartment.
“Bummer. That’s a great location. But there are plenty of others. Why don’t you come to Charleston early next week? I’ll help you find something.”
“That would be great. I’ll come on Monday,” Hannah says, and for the rest of the ninety minute drive to Pawley’s, they talk shop.
Despite stopping in Charleston, they arrive at the beach cottage a few minutes before eleven. Built high off the ground, the three-story oceanfront house has khaki siding and a red tin roof. Gus runs ahead of her up the front brick steps. She rings the doorbell and bangs the knocker. When no one answers, they go around to the ocean side. The screen door is unlock, and a set of french doors are open to allow in the ocean breeze.
Taking a tentative step across the threshold into the living room, Hannah calls out, “Hello, anyone home?”
Ryan, with bedhead and bloodshot eyes, emerges from a hallway off to her right. “You’re here. I didn’t expect you so early.”
“Early? I haven’t slept until eleven o’clock since . . .” Hannah has to think when she’d last slept in. “Since Gus was born.”
“Daddy!” Gus throws himself at Ryan’s knees, knocking him off balance.
“Hey there, buddy. I missed you.” Ryan picks Gus up and spins him around. “Are you ready to have some fun?”
Gus tosses his hands in the air. “Yippee!” He wraps his arms around Ryan’s neck and squeezes. “Will you always be my daddy?”
“Always and forever.” Ryan nuzzles Gus’s neck, inhaling his scent. “Are you ready to go to the beach?”
“We need to change first,” Hannah says. “Our bags are in the car.”
“Why don’t you get those while Gus and I swing in the hammock?” Ryan falls backward into the hammock, and the two fo them burst into a fit of giggles.
Hannah pins him to the hammock with a death glare. Seriously, he’s making her get her own bags.
Ryan points up at her and laughs. “Look at the mean mommy.”
“I’m warning you, Ryan,” she says in a low angry tone. “Don’t you darn teach my son bad habits.” She storms off the porch before he can respond.
Hurrying out to the car, she returns with their one small suitcase, a canvas tote with Gus’s beach toys, and a gift bag full of goodies for his parents. “Are your parents here?”
“No, they’re playing golf in Litchfield.”
“Oh.” She thought his parents were excited to meet her. She holds up the gift bag. “Where should I put this?”
“Just set it down anywhere.” His indifference to her gift irritates her. Never mind that she spent eighty dollars at Corks and Nibbles on cocktail nibbles and a nice bottle of wine.
She places the bag on a nearby table. “Where should we change?”
“Oh. Right. I’ll show you the upstairs.” Ryan untangles himself from the hammock, and tossing Gus over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes, he carries him up the stairs to the second floor. “My parents and I are styaing on the main floor. You can have your choice of rooms up here.”
She drops their bags in the hallway and takes Gus from him. “We need to put on our bathing suits, so we can go to the beach.” She locks eyes with Ryan. “We’ll be down in a few minutes,” she says, dismissing him.
She sets Gus down and kneels in front of him. “Would you like to sleep in your own room? I’m sure we can find two that connect.”
Gus shakes his head vehemently. “I wanna sleep with you.” Hannah will have her work cut out for her when they move into their own apartment. “Okay then. I’ll let you pick it out.”
Racing up and down the hall, out of the five other bedrooms, Gus chooses the largest ocean front room with an ensuite bath featuring a gigantic soaking tub and a glass shower. They change quickly into their bathsuits and wait for Ryan in rockers on the screened porch. Fifteen minutes later, he saungers onto the porch with a coffee in one hand and a piece of jellied toast in the other. “Ready?”
Hannah eyes the toast. It’ll be lunctime by the time they get set up on the beach. Why didn’t she think to bring snacks. “Maybe we should pack a picnic. Gus will be getting hungry soon.”
Gus looks up at Ryan and nods. “I’m a growing boy. I need lots of food.”
Ryan stuffs the last of his toast into his mouth. “How about we have a snack now, and I’ll you out for a late lunch later?”
Hannah stands to face him. “Children have schedules, Ryan. Gus eats breakfast around seven. Lunch at noon. And dinner at five-thirty or six.”
“That’s fine when he’s with you. When he’s with me, he’ll need to be more flexible.”
“I made a mistake in coming here.” When Hannah starts toward the stairs, Ryan hurries after her.
“Please don’t go, Hannah. I’m sorry. This is my family’s one vacation a year. We have a thing about staying on beach time. We stay up late talking and watching fireworks on the porch. We take naps and sleep late. And we eat when we get hungry.”
Hannah softens. She doesn’t remember the last family vacation she took with her parents. “Okay, but we need to ease into it. Gus gets cranky when he’s hungry. Witness it once and you’ll never let it happen again.”
He laughs. “Understood. Let’s go pack a lunch. I know we have peanut butter and jelly, and I’m pretty sure Mom bought sandwich meat at the store.”
Hannah loses herself in the summer’s hot new romance novel while Ryan and Gus swim in the surf and play in the sand on the beach. If Ryan is going to be a father to their son, he needs to be all in. And that includes allowing Hannah time to relax.
Around three o’clock, Hannah looks up to see the darkening sky. “Looks like rain. We should go up. Gus needs to take a nap, awyway.”
Upstairs in their room, she gives Gus a bath, puts on his pajamas, and tucks him into the kind-size bed. After a long hot shower, she dresses in jean shorts and a pink sleeveless top and takes her novel and baby montior down to the porch. She was hoping to read some more, but Ryan is waiting for her in the hammock.
He moves over on the hammock. “Climb in. Parents get to play when the kids are napping.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “If play means what I think it means, that’s not happening.”
“I don’t remember you being such a buzz kill in college, Hannah.”
“That was before I had a child.”
Eyeing the monitor in her hand, he says, “You brought a monitor with you? Seriously, Hannah. He’s right upstairs. You can hear him crying if he needs you. I’m beginning to think you coddle him.”
“You’ve been a father for less than two weeks, which hardly makes you an expert.”
She plops down in a rocker and opens her novel. A few minutes later, he leaves the hammock and sits down next to her. “We have a lot of catching up to do. Tell me about your life, Hannah.”
His tone is genuine, the Ryan she remembers from college. Hannah closes her novel.
A rain shower moves in and they sit on the porch talking, catching up on each others’ lives over the past three years. The conversation is familiar and Hannah allows herself to imagine about what life might be like as his wife. Maybe. Then Ethan pops into her head bringing her daydream to a screeching halt.
His parents return home around four. Sylvia and Patrick Stevenson make a striking couple. He has strong facial features with dark hair, graying at the temples, and she’s a platinum blonde with Gus’s and Ryan’s crystal blue eyes. Sylvia speaks in a sugary tone but the slight curl of her lip suggest she’s not as sweet as she sounds.
Sylvia looks around the porch. “Where’s the babe?”
“He’s taking a nap,” Ryan answers.
Sylvia claps her hand. “Wake him up! I’m dying to meet him.”
Hannah has no intention of waking Gus before he’s ready to get up. “He won’t sleep much longer.”
Sylvia consults her Cartier watch. “I hope not. It’s already four o’clock. I need to get ready for dinner soon. We have drinks with the Pattersons at six o’clock and seven o’clock reservations at Frank’s Outback.”
Drinks and Dinner? I thought Ryan’s parents were eager to meet their grandson.
Sylvia continues, “I took the liberty of hiring a babysitter for Gus. She’s a cute looking girl. I met her on the beach yesterday. Her family is staying a few doors down.”
Anger surges through her body. “I didn’t realize I was included in your evening plans. I’m particular about babysitters.” So particular she only trusts four people to keep Gus—Birdie, Max, Daisy, and Sadie.
Ryan places a reassuring hand on Hannah’s arm.“Don’t worry. We’ll stay home. We’ll order a pizza or something. Hannah’s a little overprotective of her son.”
Hannah cuts her eyes at him. “Because Gus is a rambunctious three year old who needs to be watched every single second.”
Through the monitor comes a rustling noise followed by Gus’s little voice calling, “Mommy.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Ryan pulls her back down to the chair. “Let me go.”
Once he’s gone, an awkward silence settles over the porch as voices spiill out over the monitor.
“Hey there, buddy. Did you have a good nap.”
“Yep. Where’s Mommy?”
“Downstairs. Come on. I want you to meet my mommy and daddy.”
A few minutes later, Ryan comes out of the house with Gus in the crook of his left arm and a beer in his right hand. When Sylvia casts a disapproving glance at the beer, he holds up the bottle. “It’s five o’clock somewhere.”
Why is his mom iritated about the beer? Hannah wonders. Because he’s drinking before five o’clock. Or because he has a drinking problem? Stop already, Hannah. You’re being overly sensitive because of Birdie.
Ryan sets Gus down, and his parents bend over close to his face. “Aren’t you adorable,” Sylvia says.
“The resemblence is uncanny,” Patrick says. “He’s the spitting image of Ryan at that age.”
Gus climbs into Hannah’s lap and burries his face in her chest.
“Aww, look.” Sylvia clutches her husband’s arm. “He’s shy.”
“I don’t remember Ryan being shy a day in his life,” Patrick says as though being shy is a curse.
Sylvia straightens, already bored with her grandchild. “I’m going to take a long hot bath.”
Patrick follows his wife off the porch. “And I’m going to close my eyes for a few minutes.”
Ryan finishes his beer and goes to the kitchen, returning with two beers. Hannah assumes one is for her, but instead of offering it to her, he stuffs the bottle in the pocket of his board shorts. “It stopped raining. Let’s go for a walk on the beach.”
They walk for over an hour. When they return, Hannah is relieved to see his parents have already gone. After ordering the pizza, Ryan pours himself a scotch on the rocks and they go out to the porch to wait. Sticking his thumb in his mouth, Gus curls up in Ryan’s lap.”
“Is he always so clingy?” Ryan asks. “He’s been kinda whiny too, since he woke up from his nap.”
“He’s just overwhelmed. This is all new for him. Big house and people he doesn’t know.”
“That makes sense,” Ryan says.
But when Gus refuses pizza, Hannah’s concern mounts. “Do you feel okay, sweetheart?” She places her cheek against Gus’s forehead. “You’re burning up with fever.”
Ryan slides his chair away from Gus. “Is he contagious?”
“Probably not. I’m sure it’s just a summer virus. His friend, Robbie missed school earlier in the week.”
“What do we do?” Ryan asks, his eyebrows pinched together into one.
“Give him some Advil.”
Ryan jumps to his feet. “I’ll get it. My parents have some in their bathroom.”
“Liquid Advil. For children. He’s too young to swallow pills.”
“Then I’ll go to the store,” Ryan says grabbing a set of car keys out of the bowl on the kitchen table.
“You’ve been drinking all day. I’ll go.” She retrieves her purse from her bedroom.
Ryan calls after her, “There’s a Walgreen’s just up the road before you get to Highway 17.”
Gus runs after her, sobbing and hugging her legs. “Don’t go, Mommy! Please, don’t leave me.”
She looks over at Ryan. “I need some help here. I can’t take him with me.”
“Why not? Can’t you just leave him in the car for a few minutes.”
Hannah’s jaw hits the floor. “Are you crazy?” She kneels down in front of her son. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart. I’m going to the store for some medicine to make you feel better.” She picks Gus up and drops him in Ryan’s lap. The sounds of her son’s screams follow her out.
Just leave him in the car for a few minutes. One doesn’t need to be a parent to know how dangerous that is. After a comment like that, she will never feel comfortable leaving Gus in Ryan’s care. She doesn’t wish her son ill, but his virus may be her reason for cutting short their weekend.