After few days, when the pain had lessened, I took a look at myself in the mirror when all the pirate women were out. I was amazed at my transformation. I looked like an actress, like Del Divlan. I was almost beautiful. I pivoted and watched my reflection as I felt the fabric swish around me. It felt divine. The door swooshed open. Too late the pirate women caught me at it and laughed and jeered so much that I withdrew to the corner and sulked.
Luckily they grew tired of hassling me or had work to do. After they left I surged out of the corner to try the doors but they were locked. Case came in, face twitching. I backed up into my corner, keeping my eyes on her as I slid to the floor. She kept pace with me and lowered herself to a crouch next to me. Her face contorted momentarily, then she said, ‘Come with me. Someone wants to see you.’
‘Who?’
‘Never mind, just be quick. We have to get there and back before Warty returns.’ I scrambled up and followed her out. I wondered where she was taking me. I hadn’t seen my so-called father since he put me in these quarters to be readied for sale.
We climbed down three levels and headed down a narrow corridor. A familiar shape was bent over a worktable pulling apart some circuitry.
‘Gris?’ With a quick glance at Case, I edged over to him. I think he heard me but he hunched himself up and turned away. I wanted to hug him. I missed him so much. ‘Gris? Please talk to me,’ I said softly. I touched his shoulder and he shied away. I heard him weep.
‘I thought you wanted to see me, Gris. I’m okay really.’
His head popped up, and he sniffled and wiped his face with his sleeve. He was listening at least. ‘Love Gris?’ he said to the wall.
‘Yeah, sure I do.’ My heart was breaking. This wasn’t the Gris I knew. Something had snapped inside of him. He angled his head in my direction. I did my best to hide my surprise. Gris’ eyes stared in different directions and one side of his face sagged much more than the other one. They’d hurt him, hurt him bad.
Gulping back the lump in my throat, I touched his face, ‘Glad to see you’re okay’. A tear slid down his cheek and he turned away again, repressing sobs. I glanced back at Case but she was looking at the ceiling. I didn’t know what to do.
‘Gris?’ I ventured.
His shoulders tensed and I saw his hand clench the tool he was holding. I was stressing him more than he could bear. Suddenly he yelled at me, still facing away from me. ‘Go now.’
I flinched at his words and drew my hand back, which had instinctively reached for him. He let out a breath. ‘Must work for Captain. You Captain’s Stroder’s not Gris’.’ He spun round, dribble dangling from his slack lips but his eyes flashed with anger. I jumped back and gazed at him warily. Part of my life was gone. Gris’ condition opened up a gaping hole inside of me.
‘Sure, I’ll go,’ I whispered and swallowed the sob that threatened to choke me. I pivoted on my heel and strode to the door, trying to keep my dignity and averting my face from Case.
Gris rasped out as I stepped in the corridor, ‘Ssssorry,’ then cried to himself. The echoes of his sobs lessened the further we walked.
I paused, ignoring Case’s neutral expression, and looked back at him. I didn’t know who I was more angry with, me or Stroder? Case grabbed my elbow and led me back to the women’s quarters. She said nothing while we walked. Her twitching got worse though. When we reached the quarters, she punched in the code and shoved me through the door and secured it.
Left alone to ponder my predicament, I went and huddled in my corner. If the auditor was dead, there wasn’t much that could be done to get me out of this. Gris was Stroder’s man and not himself anyway. I felt betrayed by him and stupid because I had loved Gris more than I had loved anyone. How could I do that? Love someone who can’t control himself? Because he was all you had kid, I told myself and blinked back tears. I had never felt so desolate before. I didn’t want to be a slave. Even if the vid slave movies had happy endings, I wanted to be free. I didn’t want to be owned by someone and I didn’t want to be vulnerable.
That night, I paced around the quarters, ignoring the women’s mess and the snores of the huge woman, Venus. I started thinking. I was alone. I had no one to help me. What choices were left? My mind raced with dead-end options. Stroder was right. I was useless. I couldn’t think of a way to get out of this.
There was a sound at the door. I swung round as it opened. Reflexively I stepped back. It was Warty. I’d learnt that not only was she the meanest of the pirate women, she ruled them and no one crossed her. Apparently, she was the head pirate’s woman, and she flaunted it, just as she did her breasts. I gulped as she stepped into the quarters. She had a smile on her face.
‘It’s time,’ she said. ‘Time to meet your fate as a slave girl.’
I tried to stall, by pretending I had to go to the san unit. She leant forward and nearly wrenched my arm out of its socket. I managed to pull my arm free and followed her out.
‘Have fun sweetie,’ called Lush. The door closing behind me cut off the sound of the women’s laughter.
Warty sneered at me but continued to talk. ‘He’s chosen the Centauri market, you know. All kinds of weirdos there. You should last a few years before you’re used up and finally expire.’
I didn’t have to think too hard about what she was talking about. She had to mean Stroder and the name of the market didn’t leave too much to the imagination. Vidmovies had been good for one thing, at least.
We went to the next level. Here there was less traffic from pirates moving through the corridors. Her metal-heeled boots echoed in the passageway. They must have been magnetised to supplement the gravity.
We turned a corner. It was deserted. Next thing I knew I was against the wall with Warty’s hands on my throat. She leaned in close and breathed into my face. ‘So you’re the little girl he kept in that outpost.’
My eyes bulged. ‘Stroder?’
She nodded and her lips drew back over her teeth. ‘Yes, Stroder. Stupid cow.’
‘I thought he was my father,’ I rasped. The pressure eased.
‘So you weren’t his lover?’ Warty seemed sceptical. She stepped back and eyed my slave-cloth draped body.
My fear turned to revulsion. ‘What are you saying? That’s disgusting. He never laid a hand on me. He’s been gone for years.’
Another slap sent me reeling and my cheek smarting. Warty then grabbed a fistful of my hair. ‘I saw the way he looked at you through the monitor. I won’t have him buying you himself or holding you back from market.’
Just then a familiar shadow blocked out the light. Gris. He grabbed Warty with a meaty arm across the chest. The pirate woman writhed and spat curses.
‘Go free,’ said Gris.
‘Fool,’ yelled Warty. ‘What do you think I was doing you great clod.’
‘Don’t listen to Stroder’s woman. If you go in there without going into stasis they shoot you. Stasis, Rae. Go stasis.’
I hesitated and looked left and right. Warty was making a terrible racket and Gris would have to clobber her to keep her quiet. His eyes looked everywhere but at me.
‘Come with me, Gris.’
A great heave of his chest let me know he was fighting back tears. ‘No. Can’t. Must stay with Stroder.’ Warty got a hand free and thumped Gris in the head. ‘Quick, can’t hold long.’
I nodded and turned to the hatch release. I broke the seal and it ripped open. Warty managed to kick me and I tumbled down in a heap of arms and cloth.
Warty leaned in, clinging to the hatchway. ‘You won’t get far,’ screamed Warty after me. ‘But at least you’ll be out of my life.’
There was a dull thud and I could see Warty’s boots on the floor. Gris leaned in, holding a bleeding ear. ‘Remember the stasis or they…blow you up.’
The hatch closed and I was tossed against the bulkhead as the life buoy jettisoned. Dazed, I ran through my options. Stasis. Oh God. There were 10 nodes. I clawed my way into one and triggered it. Cold seeped into my limbs as the freezing agent speed through my veins. The ship stayed whole around me while my awareness faded.
It had worked. I’d be safe in cold sleep. Now all I had to ponder was how I was supposed to be rescued. I did wonder, as my mind numbed, that a life buoy was very small in the cold blackness of space and that no one would be looking for me. But the thought that Gris had helped me made me smile.