‘I’ve never done anything like this before,’ said Katherine from underneath the soft folds of the duvet on Warwick’s bed. One minute they’d been chatting about whether Purley Hall resembled any of the grand country houses in Jane Austen’s novels and if that was why Dame Pamela had bought it and then, the next minute, they’d been urgently entangled on the bed together.
It was a good job that they’d both decided that they could well do without the afternoon discussion group about which Austen character you were most like because they never would have made it downstairs in time. Katherine’s hair was, once again, a victim of passion and was cascading over her shoulders like beautiful brambles, and Warwick’s room was something to behold, too.
‘So,’ Katherine said, pushing her dark hair out of her face in a vain attempt to restore some sort of personal order, ‘we might have missed the talk, but I still want to know.’
‘Know what?’
‘Which Jane Austen character you’re most like.’ She could see a little smile lifting the corners of Warwick’s mouth.
‘I don’t think that’s for me to say.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, isn’t it all very subjective? I mean, isn’t every man going to say he’s Darcy and every woman say Elizabeth?’
Katherine sat up in the bed, hugging the duvet to her. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘Okay then, who are you?’
Katherine took a moment to think. ‘Well, I’m smart. I’m witty. I’m a good friend. I’m passionate about books and I love to walk.’
‘Elizabeth Bennet!’ Warwick said. ‘I told you—Every woman thinks she’s Elizabeth Bennett.’
Katherine laughed and lay back on the pillow.
‘So, who do you think I’d be?’ Warwick asked, curving an arm around her body.
‘Now, that’s interesting,’ she said. ‘You’re obviously handsome so you could be any of the heroes, really. But I can’t make out much about your private life so for all I know, you could be a Willoughby or a Wickham.’
Warwick’s mouth dropped open. ‘No! Really? You really think that?’
‘I’m only joking!’ Katherine laughed. ‘Perhaps you’re more of an Edward Ferrars, and there’s something you’re not telling me because you can’t.’
‘What makes you think I’m not telling you everything?’
Katherine’s eyes widened. ‘Because you aren’t.’
‘I just don’t like talking about my work, that’s all.’ He moved his arm away from her and sat up, swinging his legs out of the bed.
Katherine watched him and was scared that she’d upset him again. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, sitting up once more. ‘It’s just I’m really interested in what you do.’
Pulling on his trousers, he turned and smiled at her. ‘You’re forgiven,’ he said. ‘And I will tell you more about it some time. Just not this weekend. I want this weekend to be about us.’
‘It is about us,’ she said.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I just don’t want it spoiled by anything.’
‘What could possibly spoil it, silly?’
He looked at her for a moment and then leant across the bed to claim another kiss. ‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Nothing at all.’
***
The gala dinner on Saturday evening was always a bit special. Guests at the conference weekend usually dressed up for dinner, but everyone made an extra special effort on Saturday. There was an array of beads, sequins, and glimmering jewels and—for the men—tuxedoes and bow ties. Dame Pamela was sparkling in silver, a diamond choker clasping her neck and a brooch the size of an ostrich egg blinding everyone who looked at it.
After showering the very last vestiges of hay and horse from her personage, Robyn changed into a figure-hugging dress the colour of rosé wine. She twisted her hair up and away from her shoulders and fixed it with a large rose clip that matched her dress and wore a pair of art deco-style earrings that glittered as much as Dame Pamela’s diamonds but had cost a fraction of the price.
As she descended the staircase and walked across the expanse of hallway into the dining room, she felt as though she’d stepped into a film set. Everything was beautiful. Candles were ablaze everywhere, and mirrors gleamed, reflecting the rich colours of all assembled.
Everyone was chattering and cameras flashed from all directions. Robyn smiled at the scene but wished that Dan were there to share it with her. When they’d parted at the stables, she felt glum and hadn’t wanted to return to the hall at all, especially not when he kissed her again.
‘I should go,’ she’d said as she stood perfectly still. Immovable.
‘I guess you should,’ he said.
‘Come and see me again?’
‘Of course!’ And then it had hit her. What was she doing? She was falling in love with another man when she hadn’t even finished with the other one. And what did she think was going to happen there? Even if she did manage to break up with Jace, how did she think things would work out with Dan? He was based here—in Hampshire—and she was miles away in North Yorkshire. How was that meant to work? Long-distance relationships were never a good idea.
Looking at everyone as they walked into the dining room, Robyn felt a little lonely. She knew she wasn’t the only person who was attending the conference on her own, but suddenly everyone seemed to be in pairs. There were the sisters Rose and Roberta, Mrs Soames and that other awful woman who didn’t seem to approve of Robyn at all, and Warwick and Katherine, of course. Still, maybe she’d sneak down to the stables after dinner and see Dan again.
The thought of another visit excited her, and she took a seat at the table with a big smile on her face that grew even further when Katherine sat next to her.
‘Hello!’ she said brightly. ‘How are you? Feels an age since I saw you.’
‘I’m fine. You okay?’ Robyn asked, nodding to Warwick as he took a seat to Katherine’s right.
Katherine leant closer. ‘I’m afraid I skipped class this afternoon.’
‘Really?’
Katherine nodded, and a sweet blush coloured her cheeks. ‘With Warwick.’
Robyn gasped.
‘Oh, I haven’t shocked you, have I?’ Katherine said, grabbing Robyn’s hand and squeezing it.
She shook her head. ‘No!’ Robyn said. ‘It’s just that—well—I kind of skipped class too.’
‘I can’t say I blame you. I mean this afternoon wasn’t the most riveting.’
‘With Dan.’
‘What?’ It was Katherine’s turn to gasp.
‘The guy who works in the stables,’ Robyn said.
‘Oh, yes! I’ve seen him. Robyn, he’s gorgeous!’
‘I know!’
‘So you were with him?’
She nodded. ‘He took me out riding. It was wonderful. I didn’t want to come back.’
The two of them sat grinning at each other for a moment.
‘There must be something in the air here,’ Katherine said.
‘I think it’s the Jane Austen effect,’ Robyn said.
‘Really?’ Katherine said, a quizzical expression on her face.
‘We’re spending the whole weekend reading about romance and handsome heroes and happy endings—it’s bound to do something to our brains.’
‘You think it makes us susceptible to love?’
Robyn gave a little laugh. ‘That’s certainly what’s happening here, isn’t it?’
Katherine took a deep breath. ‘This isn’t exactly what I expected from a Jane Austen weekend, you know.’
‘Me neither.’
‘I thought it would be all books and talks.’
‘Me too!’ Robyn said.
‘I never thought I’d fall in love.’
‘Me neither.’
Katherine threw a quick glance at Warwick. ‘It’s rather wonderful, isn’t it?’
Robyn smiled and nodded, and it was then that the dinner was served.
***
It was a perfect dinner. The starter was light and sublime, the main course sumptuous and satisfying, and dessert ravishingly chocolaty. Robyn was folding her thick linen napkin and looking forward to her cup of coffee when she heard a strange noise.
‘What on earth was that?’ somebody asked from across the table.
Conversation died down as everyone’s attention was drawn to what was going on beyond the dining room. Something was happening in the hallway—some sort of clattering, crashing, and shouting. Katherine turned to Robyn, and they gave each other perplexed smiles, but then Robyn’s face drained of all colour when she heard a voice.
‘Goddamn door!’ it yelled. ‘Go on, boy! Get through there. Giddy up!’
It was Jace, and Robyn could only guess what he was up to; however, she didn’t have to wait long to find out, for the dining room door crashed open, and in charged a horse.
‘Perseus!’ Robyn cried.
Sure enough, Perseus—the chestnut stallion—was in the house and more alarmingly, Jace was on his back.
There was a collective gasp from the table. Cups and cutlery were dropped in alarm, and several guests leapt out of their seats.
‘What in heaven’s name is that?’ the elderly gentleman with the guinea-pig hair shouted, adjusting his glasses in an attempt to find out.
‘It’s a horse!’ Rose exclaimed, grabbing her napkin and wielding it as if it were some kind of shield. ‘It’s a horse!’
‘Jace!’ Robyn cried. What on earth was he doing on Perseus, and how did he get him into the house? She saw that Perseus was wearing his saddle and bridle so perhaps Dan had just brought him back from an evening ride.
‘Robyn!’ Jace called back, almost falling forward onto Perseus’s neck.
‘What are you doing, Jace?’ Robyn leapt out of her chair and ran towards him.
‘I came to see you! You like a man on a horse, don’t you? I know you do! And I wanted to get it right. It’s got to be right, see,’ he said, his words slurring together.
‘You might’ve broken your neck. You can’t ride a horse!’
‘I’m doing all right, aren’t I? I’ve not fallen off!’
Robyn was beside herself. The whole dining room was in disarray, with guests jostling each other in an attempt to reach the safety of the other side of the room. Only a few brave people remained seated, staring in shock at the scene before them. Robyn turned to see if somebody was going to make a helpful suggestion, but even Dame Pamela seemed immobilized.
‘Jace—’
He held up a hand before she could say anything else. ‘No, listen,’ he said. ‘I’ve got something to tell you.’
She watched as Jace fumbled in his jacket pocket.
‘Jace—please get down.’
‘No way! I’m up here now. I’m gonna do this properly.’
Flustered, Robyn didn’t dare look around the room at the diners. Goodness only knew what they were thinking.
‘Robyn Love,’ he said. ‘I know I’m not good enough for you. I know I’m not one of your heroes from a book. I’m just a regular guy who doesn’t know his Darcy from his elbow. But I love you, and I want to marry you. Will you be my wife?’
He reached down out of the saddle and handed Robyn a tiny blue box.
Oh, dear Lord, please let me be wrong, Robyn thought, dreading opening it because she knew what was in there. But what else could she do? Absolute silence filled the dining room as everybody looked at Robyn and Jace, mouths and eyes wide open, not wanting to miss a single second.
Robyn did the only thing she could do and opened the box with shaking fingers. Sure enough, sitting on a velvety cushion was a diamond ring, three bright stones that winked at her in the candlelight.
‘Well?’ Jace said, grabbing hold of Perseus’s mane as he swayed forward. ‘Will you marry me?’
This can’t be happening to me, she thought. Please let me wake up.
‘Jace—I—’ Robyn began, her words catching in her throat.
‘Will you marry me?’
The words stabbed through her. She turned to look at the guests around the table and huddled in the far corners of the room. Everyone’s faces had softened. All were waiting for her to say something—for her to say ‘yes.’
‘Yes,’ she said, her voice a little squeak.
As soon as the word was out, there was a deafening round of applause. Somebody gave a very fruity wolf whistle, and everyone stood, making a mad scramble towards her, patting her on the back, kissing her cheeks, and generally frightening her to death.
‘Careful of the horse!’ Warwick’s voice suddenly cut above the noise. Instantly everyone moved backwards, and Robyn noticed that she wasn’t the only one to look anxious—Perseus was looking a little unnerved too.
‘He’s going to poo!’ somebody cried from behind her.
‘Get that animal out of here!’ somebody else shouted, and everyone watched in horror as Perseus’s tail rose an inch.
‘Oh, my God,’ someone said with a gasp, and everybody watched as Perseus extended his very impressive equipment and a loud gush of urine splashed onto the carpet. Those who had dared to remain seated at the table moved as fast as was humanly possible to the other side of the room as the amber stream continued.
‘What’s going on down there?’ Jace asked from above. ‘He’s taking a piss, isn’t he?’
Robyn winced, quite sure that people shouldn’t swear at a Jane Austen Conference.
Everyone was gasping and whispering, horrified and amused at the same time. What would Dame Pamela think? All eyes had turned from the young lovers to the grande dame, who was looking decidedly perplexed, her eyes two wide circles in her face.
But then she burst out laughing, her body bending forward as if it could not support itself. Everybody stared as she continued to laugh, the merry sound filling the room.
‘That,’ she said, ‘is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time!’ And off she went again, laughing and laughing until everyone else joined in. Everyone except Robyn. She stood, immobilized, staring at the row of diamonds before her.
‘Put it on!’ Jace shouted above the laughing.
Robyn looked up at him. He was staring down at her with such a tender expression that she couldn’t do anything other than obey him. The laughter died down a bit and the diners began to return to the table, partly in the hope that coffee was about to be served and partly because they were aware that the carpet underneath Perseus was now pungent.
‘I suppose we should try to get this horse outside,’ Dame Pamela said at last. She approached Perseus, her beautiful jewelled shoes squelching on the carpet, and held a hand out to him, stroking his white blaze. ‘Dan!’ she suddenly said. Robyn turned to see Dan enter the room. He’d obviously been running, and he wasn’t looking very happy.
‘Get off that horse!’ he yelled, glaring at Jace.
‘Oh, man! Here comes the cavalry,’ Jace said.
Dan reached up towards Jace.
‘Take your hands off me, pal!’
‘Then get off this horse before I pull you off!’
Jace, who was wobbling like a Weeble, didn’t need to be told twice. If he didn’t get off now, he was very likely to fall off at some point soon. Everyone watched as he tumbled onto the floor, almost crashing into Dame Pamela.
‘This is outrageous,’ Mrs Soames said. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. I shall be formally complaining about this.’
Dan stepped to one side, holding Perseus’s reins in one hand and reaching out to move Robyn out of the way as he turned the horse to face the door.
‘Oi! That’s my future wife!’ Jace shouted before collapsing onto the floor, perilously close to where Perseus had left his mark.
‘Someone get him to bed,’ Dame Pamela said. ‘Higgins—would you kindly do the honours? We’ll make up a bed for him in the West Drawing Room. I think it very unlikely that he’ll be able to make it upstairs, and he won’t be able to do much damage in the drawing room.’
Higgins the butler, who’d been watching the proceedings from the relative safety of the door, was wearing an expression that didn’t altogether agree with Dame Pamela’s words.
‘Dan, get poor Perseus out of here.’
Dan nodded and led the horse away.
Robyn watched as he turned his back to look at her, his hurt visible in his eyes.