Gosh! Didn’t think it would come to this. Ever!
Some time back I read in a weekend supplement in which a bunch of really wimpy guys were moaning and groaning about the nasty, insulting manner in which women the world over keep asking that same, old tiresome question: ‘Where are all the good men?’
The predictable response has always been: ‘Don’t you know, darling? They are either taken or gay.’ Those poor fellows in the article sounded hopelessly defensive as they trotted out their many virtues, just in case women hadn’t noticed! I felt rather sorry for them as I read on. The bottom line was simply this: ‘Awww, come on, ladies! We could be worse.’
I thought to myself – what a dumb response. Look around you, guys. Where are the good women? Turn the question around instead of whining. It’s true. And the reason for this phenomenon is also pretty obvious. More and more women are cloning male behaviour – the worst aspects of it, at that. With a rather depressing result that leaves us to cope with a society crammed with unattractive young people staring suspiciously at one another and going ‘Ugggghh!’
Occasionally, I shamelessly eavesdrop on conversations at multiplexes, coffee shops, bars and other similar venues where young people gather to speak in loud voices. It’s pretty hard to tell the difference between the sexes. Both smoke and swear a lot. Both prefer jeans and tees (baseball caps are an option). They address one another as ‘Dude’ or ‘Guy’. Both knock back drinks at about the same pace. Both get roaringly drunk. Both give jaunty high fives when jokes are swapped. And both discuss sex obsessively – who’s having it, who isn’t. Who had it last, how much and where. That is, when they aren’t discussing money and possessions – who bought what, for how much and why.
Even the voices sound the same – the women’s, much gruffer. The men’s, pretty thin. It’s all those cigarettes and other stronger substances, a teenager tells me casually, adding by way of a reassurance: ‘Everybody is doing it… everybody is into it.’ I am supposed to fill in the blanks and figure that one out. Scarily enough – I do!
While watching the hugely popular American comedy-drama television series called Entourage created by Doug Ellin or Tom Kapinos’ multiple award-winning Californication, even I am shocked by the entirely out there representation of very nubile young girls who are perpetually on the make and ready to smoke, snort and have random sex with strangers. The dialogue is loaded with sexual references of the kinky kind, and kids across the world are hooked to the antics of Vincent and his friends – the infamous ‘entourage’ of the title.
In India too, our reality shows are pushing the envelope – just watch those frightening females cuss their way through episodes as the elimination rounds start heating up. Blame it on scary competition, but the lines between the sexes have blurred to such a degree, it no longer matters. That itself says a lot about a rapidly changing social order. I was looking at a fashion spread in a glossie, where a very sexy socialite was restyled in men’s clothing. Her ‘Boyfriend’ in jeans and tailored jackets did absolutely nothing for her. But she gamely went with the current flow.
Similarly, there were high profile male models wearing ghagras, make up and more jewellery than Jodha in Ashutosh Gowariker’s 2008 film Jodha Akbar. Readers were told both these are going to be the hottest trends for the coming wedding season. In my mind, I was visualizing the ‘suhaag raat’ with both the bride and groom peeling off layers of clothing, make up and jewellery before jumping into bed.
The change I’m referring to is more than merely cosmetic. Nor do I see it as a passing trend. When young women lament they find it extraordinarily hard to meet suitable boys, I sympathise. But only up to a point. I see an equal number of miserable looking men by the bar, hanging on to their beers, staring disinterestedly at a clump of fierce looking females also hanging on to their pints. Zero chemistry! Neither group makes the first move. What’s the point, they shrug. The women stare vacantly into space and ask – yup – you’ve guessed it: ‘Where are all the good men?’ Sadly, that’s precisely what the men are also asking in reverse: ‘Where are all the good women?’
Frankly, I am flummoxed!
You?