BEWARE, THE CORPORATE BLADDER …
The annual Chick Fest also known as the International Women’s Day will be celebrated dutifully on 8 March. But to organizers of assorted celebrations and festivities, I have just one question to ask – and I ask it aggressively: Where will all those women ‘go’?
Sounds like an innocuous question? Not so! It needs to be screamed out loud! Women the world over have nowhere to ‘go’ and it is leading to a very serious serious medical problem that polite society refuses to recognize. The blunt and basic truth is, women have nowhere to urinate when they are in a public place. Women are supposed to exercise yogic control over their bursting bladders, especially when they travel. This year’s railway budget generated a lot of heat, especially from women commuters complaining about a lack of loos at railway stations. If at all bathrooms do exist, they are generally locked up or filthy. With difficult access and no alternatives, women train themselves to hold it all in – for hours on end.
This leads to more than mere discomfort, let me tell you. Toxic levels begin to build up, leading to a whole host of, what are euphemistically called, ‘female problems’ (ranging from painful urinary tract infections to worse medical conditions). Despite this obvious neglect of basic bodily functions, women somehow feel coy, even ashamed of taking a ‘pee break’ even in offices that do provide separate toilets for them. They don’t like to make their way to distant bathrooms and horribly self conscious, even distinctly embarrassed when ‘caught’. No such issues for men, who of course, are free to ‘go’ anywhere at any time – by the roadside, on the beach, behind rocks, against trees … why, even along the railway tracks, their genitals on full view. Like they say: ‘When you gotta go, you gotta go!’ Unless you are a woman!
My entire being was obsessing over this vexing problem last week as I spent long hours inside a public hospital with an ailing relative. Let me put it this way – my mind was in my bladder. And my bladder was bursting. Such was my distress, I couldn’t think beyond peeing – preferably in a clean loo with a lock on the door! There must have been hundreds of female co-sufferers that day who were unable to focus on the task they were there for and could only walk around with pained expressions, their legs tightly crossed. This was ridiculous and unfair. By the time I got home late in the evening, I was sure I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom on time – such was the urgency. I was angry and impatient as I snapped at anybody in the line of fire. Several unsuspecting family members got it in the neck if they dared to cross my path – the one leading to the loo!
The scenario now shifts to another hospital – a plush private one this time. Similar story. Except that there was supposedly a loo reserved for women on the premises – but it was tucked away in some obscure corner. My daughter and I went on a determined lavatory hunt. We had a one point agenda – to pee or not to pee was hardly the question – we HAD to. Just then, a gentleman in a bright red shirt walked up to us and whispered: ‘Loo? Follow me…’ He was a senior doc and had accurately guessed our mission … he was our hero. Our saviour. Gratefully, we marched into his private domain and used the facilities reserved for doctors. Once relieved, Dr R.R. Nawalkar spoke on the sensitive issue of the dearth of toilets for women across the world and how it has always been a low priority. The apt term ‘Corporate Bladder’ syndrome comes from him and encapsulates this condition perfectly. He talked about women with exaggeratedly bloated bellies that have nothing to do with being fat – it is actually an overstretched bladder that is unable to ‘deflate’ after years and years of abuse. ‘Think of a balloon that is blown up and blown up. Suddenly you take the air out … but the balloon cannot regain its original shape after being that stretched.’ Dr. Nawalkar has spent a lot of time studying this universal crisis and said it was time women spoke up and demanded these basic conveniences in public places.
He is so right. That’s the reason why I am writing about this important issue. It is straight from the heart. But it is also from the bladder. On International Women’s Day, I demand the Right to Pee. This is no laughing matter. I hope it is taken seriously, especially by our president, Shrimati Pratibha Patil (at the time of writing).