Dhoni did it! And did it in true super celeb style – quickly and stealthily.
India’s star sportsman tied the knot with his 21-year-old love interest in mid-2010, somewhere in the distant hills of Dehradun. Perfect! Only a few khaas mehman attended the traditional ceremony away from the prying eyes of the watching world.
Since we are a long way off from the modus operandi followed by international paparazzi (not because we are coy or morally upright – we merely don’t have the big bucks for it!), we had to make do with sketchy reports. It will take us years to catch up with asli celeb watching which involves hiring choppers and hovering over wedding venues taking grab shots of the nuptials that are later sold for a bomb! We don’t have motorcycle stalkers from the media either (they drove Princess Diana to her death, remember?), or you can be sure some adventurous types would have reached the foothills of the Himalayas and ruined Mahi’s maha moment.
A three layer security cordon made sure the wedding remained out of bounds and tantalizingly private. Just the way it should be, but rarely remains, when it involves mega celebrities. News filtering through indicated the two families had matched the kundalis of the two love birds before finalizing the auspicious date for the shaadi. Great! They had celestial approval, as well. Lover-boy Mahi turned out to be quite a chhupa rustom, and I am sure he has left a lot of broken hearted female fans in tears, now that he is shaadi shuda. As for young Sakshi, she is perhaps one of the most envied girls on planet earth.
Kuch kuch hota hai when sports’ icons get hitched. Even though comparisons are odious, how can we forget the Sania–Shoaib tamasha that turned into such an ugly jamboree? Perhaps Dhoni had just that disaster in mind when he decided to take to the hills and just do it! From all accounts, it was a smart move taken by a smart man. Mahi cleverly pre-empted controversies by presenting a fait accompli to the world. Not for nothing is he known as Captain Cool.
While all these festivities were being played out at a luxury spa in Dehradun, another kind of drama and hungama was taking place in Mumbai. Just ten days after the tragic suicide of Viveka Babajee, the 37-year-old model who hanged herself, her grief stricken family engaged the services of Dale Bhagwagar, an on-the-ball publicist (same chap who used to issue press releases by the micro second when he was handling Shilpa Shetty’s public relations), to propagate the news of Viveka’s actual relationship with Gautam Vora, the boyfriend who was interrogated by the cops. According to the family, these two were contemplating marriage and had also matched kundalis. Obviously, something went horribly wrong at some point. So wrong that the Vora boy refused to acknowledge he had enjoyed anything but a very, very casual friendship with the dead model. Well, the intimate photographs released by her family told an entirely different story. So much for kundali-matching.
The point is, some marriages happen. Some don’t. But our society invariably gets excessively excited about the subject. When I wrote about the sad Viveka episode on my blog, the reactions were intense and personal. A lot of men sympathized with Vora’s situation, and went so far as to compare men with good wine (they get better with age), and women with milk (which curdles with age). What followed was a pretty heated ‘comments war’, either supporting or damning the guy who to all appearances ditched a trusting girlfriend just before the saat pheras could be taken. Perhaps no outsider can ever gauge what goes on in the heads and hearts of couples in committed relationships. But even a hard boiled skeptic would agree when it gets to the matching kundalis stage, it’s got to be pretty serious. In Viveka’s strange case, it seemed to have gone beyond kundali talk – her mother, Dayawanti, insists Vora had asked his girlfriend to consult a fertility expert about her ability to bear children.
If true, this is such a shocker! And to think we are talking about a supposedly hip and cool 21st century couple, not semi-literates from small town India who were being pressurized by elders to get the girl ‘certified’ (‘okay! All clear …. the bride’s womb is good to go’).
Two high profile couples. Two entirely different scripts for their respective ‘Luv Storys’.
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India’s biggest cricket superstar ever, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, is ten years younger than my older son, and almost the same age as one of my daughters. The thought that I could easily be his mother is seriously scary.
Why scary? Because, I’m certain I wouldn’t know how to handle it. Look at the guy – just look at him! Is he for real? So wise, so cool, so mature, so damn successful! What did his mother eat when she was carrying this boy wonder in her womb? What were her thoughts? Her emotions? Was she on a special diet (soaked almonds? Pure ghee? Lassi?) or did she sing the right songs to her unborn child? Read out cricket scores? Make him listen to cricket commentary? Recite from the scriptures? What?
I am sure there are countless mothers all over India wondering about the same thing. Especially mothers of toddlers who are aspiring test cricketers (at this point, what’s the bet most little boys who watched the historic World Cup final, and Dhoni’s spectacular sixer that clinched it, lisp that they want to grow up and be like him). We now know what it takes to be a champion (guts, talent and the right temperament). But what does it take to be the mother who produces such a champion?
I’m sure Devki Devi – the lady who gave birth to this extraordinary man must be extraordinary herself. Not in a flamboyant way. Not in the public space her son now occupies, but determinedly, quietly, steadily and surely. It is not often that mothers of male super achievers are given their due. Even Sachin Tendulkar, looks skywards and thanks his late father when he hits yet another milestone. We know Sachin has deep regard for his mother, but not much is known about Rajni Ramesh Tendulkar – the lady who gave birth to this living legend. Yuvraj’s mother is more upfront while claiming her rightful place under the sun. Shabnam Singh doesn’t hesitate to speak her mind when she thinks her precious son has not been appreciated enough. She even goes so far as to write a strong letter to an international fashion magazine that had dared to comment on Yuvraj’s girth last year (they loved her feisty style, and printed it). After this victory, she has been both visible and audible talking about her ladla beta.
But today since it is Dhoni’s moment as the captain of the Indian team, it’s more relevant to track his antecedents. Besides, Dhoni’s story is so much more dramatic; in fact, it reads like a television soap. This young man from Ranchi has scripted one of the most inspiring, real life stories ever and like it happens in fiction, we want to know more about the lady who brought him into the world. From the little that is available in the public domain, Devki married Paan Singh and produced three children, two boys and a girl. She prefers to stay in the shadows and let her son’s success do all the talking. She was admirably discreet even during her celebrity son’s modest wedding last year. She has done a bloody good job of raising her kids. Nobody can taunt her by singing: ‘Maa da laadla bigad gaya …’
If I were in her shoes, I would have insisted on getting some exclusive ‘Mommy-time’ with the guy, before the world grabs and monopolises him. I would put in a precondition – no managers, lackeys, fans, hangers on, endorsement chaps, deal makers, cricket officials, body guards, stylists, advisors, chamchas, dieticians, bankers, physical trainers … not even his lovely bride Sakshi. Just me and my boy, bonding over comfort food and conversation that has nothing to do with cricket. Over chai, daal chaaval and his favourite guilty snack, I would make him laugh, even cry … and forget he is MSD – the most successful cricket captain in the world right now. I would tell him over and over again that he’s a champion – my champion. A permanent hero in a mother’s eyes, regardless of wins and losses. I’d restrict my comments to light hearted banter and remind him of his carefree childhood, running around Ranchi in half-pants and bunking school.
The one thing I wouldn’t do is treat him like a star – a mega star. I would not allow myself to be overawed or overwhelmed by his success. Nor make any references to those dramatic moments that brought so much joy to so many people. Nope. I would treat him like a ‘normal’ son … shower him with love (the same love he has known since birth, nothing ‘extra’ because he is a super-celeb now), wipe the tears of joy from both our eyes with the corner of my saree … and carry on like nothing has happened … and certainly, like nothing has changed … nothing will … regardless of circumstances. That’s what moms are there for. To provide a reality check, along with unconditional love, no matter what … no matter whom.
Dhoni has more than a billion admirers all over the world. But only one mother. He has the world at his feet, but I’m certain his biggest trophy of all time still remains his mom.
Well done, mummyji! India is proud of you.