I was not in India when Narain Dutt Tiwari’s filthy laundry got washed in public.
Whatever filtered through sounded dreadfully gross. As more and more sordid details came tumbling out of that over-crowded closet, I raised a cynical eyebrow and asked myself: ‘So, what else is new?’
Tiwari isn’t the first dirty old man in Indian politics to be caught with his dhoti down. And you bet he won’t be the last. There is something pretty nasty about power, politics and sex that leads to combustible situations of the nauseating kind. Not just in India, not just in the 21st century, but as a wide spread phenomenon across the world since time immemorial. Some stupid men get caught. That is perhaps the only difference.
What shocks society at large is not that these chaps have a grimy record of promiscuity and sexual exploitation, but the fact that they are still ‘doing it’ at that age! It is not so much a moral issue, as a medical one. An ‘ageist’ thing. Believe me, nobody would have been as scandalized had Tiwari been a man in his 40s or 50s. What we find abhorrent is the senior citizen, grandpa status of the old goat. And since our hypocritical moral brigade is not accustomed to dealing with such issues (I mean, compare India’s outrage to 86-year-old Tiwari’s masti to the 76-year-old former Italian prime minister Silvio Berloscuni’s brazen handling of his sexual adventures in Italy), everybody is huffing and puffing away while hanging on to each yucky detail.
Most of the comments are based on the man’s advanced years. A lot of them (mainly from far younger men) are tinged with envy: ‘What does Tiwari eat for breakfast – Viagra?’ There is an incredulous, almost jealous, tone to those remarks. What that suggests is pretty obvious: ‘How come he is still getting it up and I am not?’
Hardly anybody bothers about the women who have serviced Tiwari – what they feel about their bodies being used by a man old enough to be their Daadu. Sickened? Or is it just a case of business as usual, and to hell with the fellow’s doddering years?
Our revulsion has a lot to do with the fact that at a time of his life when Tiwari ought to be looking towards meeting his maker, he is actually thinking of making out with the neighbourhood wench. Indian society being as rigid as it is, men and women have their life spans cut up neatly into appropriate compartments. Tiwari’s delayed ‘vanvaas’ upsets us. We feel the man has no business to be indulging in carnal affairs when his mind, body and soul should belong to God. Our imposition of these arbitrary ‘laws’ is so peculiarly rigid, that we find it impossible to accommodate an older man’s libido.
Come on, let’s be honest, women are revolted at the thought of sleeping with a vintage model. And men are way too jealous of his performance! Everybody hates Tiwari for not conforming to society’s set definitions and standards. Period.
Strange and annoying as it is, we have ourselves to blame. There will always be a neighbourhood Tiwari leching away at nubile girls. And there will always be a set of highly offended auntyjis and unclejis ready to condemn such a person. Rarely will we spare a thought for the man’s unwilling bed partners, or even his wife and family. It is as if they are nothing more than bit players who don’t really count. We choose to obsess over the ‘pervert’s’ sexcapades instead and wish him a terrible, painful end for committing all those sins. We assume morally superior positions and debate endlessly on what a terrible example he is setting. We talk about the guy’s depravity and decadence. But the bottom line is slightly different. The unspoken emotion is one defined more by awe than shock. In an almost perverse way, there are those who may be secretly saying: ‘That dude rocks…!’
Horrible, but true. Deal with it.
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The old boy is something else … mind it!
Let’s hand it to N.D. Tiwari. Not only was he in total denial during the prolonged period of a messy paternity suit filed by Rohit Shekhar, his biological son, but even today, after losing the case, Tiwariji remains unabashed and brazen as he declares boldly: ‘I have full rights to live as I want.’
For Shekhar and his mother, it has been an agonizing battle fighting for their own rights. Rights, that may now include another bitter war over N.D. Tiwari’s considerable property. Was that really what this was all about – property, money, assets? Perhaps.
This ugly controversy could have been handled with more discretion and dignity, had Tiwari been more sensible. In the old days, men like him could walk away from their obligations and responsibilities very easily. All they had to do after a one night stand was to callously abandon the woman. Powerful politicians could get away with this and more. But unfortunately for Tiwari, he hadn’t factored in a few key things when he bedded Rohit’s mother over 30 years ago and conveniently forgot all about it. God knows how many more Rohits and Rohinis, Tiwari may have fathered!
But here was one Angry Young Man, who was not prepared to let it go so easily. He went to court. And insisted on a DNA test. Thirty long years ago, such a test was not an option. How could Tiwari have anticipated such a twist in the tale? Obviously he hadn’t … and must have counted on immunity from any such investigation, if it ever arose. Who was Rohit Shekhar, anyway? A nobody. Who cared whether or not he was stuck with the tag of being born a ‘bastard’? Certainly, not his father. But clearly Rohit was made of sterner stuff … as was his mother.
It takes real guts for a young man in our patriarchal, feudalistic society to take on a person who has far more clout and far more money. A man who obviously believed Rohit’s court case was nothing more than an annoying mosquito bite. Who cares about a son fighting for his mother’s honour? In a society where a woman like Rohit’s mother is invariably converted into the vamp of the piece for sleeping with a man not her husband, it is her moral character that is questioned. It is her child who has to bear the stigma of illegitimacy at every level. Tiwari must have counted on exactly that. It is to Rohit’s credit that he soldiered on. And it is to the courts’ credit that Tiwari was compelled to provide a blood sample that finally nailed him.
What happens next will be interesting to monitor. But if it does turn into a property issue, everything else be damned, well …. Tiwari deserves it. And Rohit has certainly earned his inheritance after being deprived for three decades.
If Tiwari does indeed have a change of heart and embraces the young man sincerely, apologises to his mother and unconditionally accepts both as family, it will make Tiwari a bigger person in the eyes of the public. But such a thing is unlikely to take place. Men like Tiwari have been getting away with sexually exploiting women and discarding them at will since time immemorial. Our mythology is replete with similar stories. India has typically condoned men like Tiwari and pinned the blame on women. What happens between consenting adults is indeed their business. But what happens to children of such liaisons is more worrying. Rohit Shekhar (regardless of his motivations) may have done a huge favour to others in similar situations.
The days of suffering in silence are over. Every child has the absolute right to fight for what is his or hers by law. Most illegitimate offspring of influential fathers don’t possess the required tools to fight for justice. Most abandoned women are too terrified of society’s backlash to take such a risky route. Some are killed before they can contemplate such a step. Others find their mouths sealed either with money or threats to physically harm them and their child. Rohit Shekhar could have been bumped off years ago. That he is still alive is a miracle. That he has won, is not just a personal triumph and vindication of honour, but a victory for thousands caught in similar traps. As for Tiwari, it’s too late for him to press the ‘Rewind’ button. And it’s no use keeping his finger on ‘Pause’. As for ‘Fast Forward’ – hell, if at 86, he’s still upto his old tricks, one can only hope for his sake he has discovered condoms.