I was delighted when I read about screen ‘daadi’ 60-year-old Suhasini Mulay’s recent marriage (first one!) to a 65-year-old particle physicist, Atul Gurtu. My spontaneous response was to congratulate the happy couple and wish them every happiness on Twitter.
Avid film goers will know the lovely Suhasini from her many movies (she won the national award for Hu Tu Tu), and I am sure her fans have responded positively to the good news as well. Interviewed by a Mumbai tabloid on the subject, Suhasini was candid and upfront when she admitted she’d met the widower over Facebook: ‘Initially, I didn’t want to go beyond the www world,’ she stated. But clearly, their regular chats must have been substantial enough for both to agree on meeting and taking their virtual relationship forward.
According to Suhasini, she was greatly impressed and touched by Atul’s devotion to his late wife (they’d been married for 36 long years, and she died of cancer). After the diagnosis, Atul had pledged to make her as happy as he could by doing everything they’d ever wanted to do. While it must have been a pretty tough decision for the grieving widower to give marriage a fresh shot, for Suhasini, who had always imagined she’d be alone in life, her change of heart surprised not just her, but her family, too. Apparently, her sister asked: ‘Are you drunk?’ after she phoned her to announce the good news. Once she had digested it, the sister said: ‘Hang on, now I need a drink!’ An aunt thought Suhasini was talking about a television marriage (since she acts in serials), while another sister treated it as a joke! As for strangers present at the Bandra court where they got married last year, ‘their jaws dropped’, shrugged an amused Suhasini.
It is certainly a story worth converting into a television soap opera. It has all the elements required – including a happy ending.
As an actor who plays a ‘daadi’ on the small and big screen, Suhasini’s professional life has always been hectic with non-stop work schedules that take her all over India. While her brand new husband (after retiring as senior professor from the Tata Institute of Fundamental Research a few months ago), was ready to switch gears and take it easy, Suhasini had to rejig her personal priorities. A long term, live-in relationship had ended in 1990 for Suhasini, and she was perfectly reconciled to the idea of a solo lifestyle, till she met and fell in love online! After an Arya Samaj wedding, the happy couple went off to Delhi to meet Atul’s folks.
From the looks of her wedding picture, in which she is dressed like a simple, traditional Maharashtrian bride, Suhasini is exactly where she wants to be at this stage in her life – with a partner she loves and respects. Anybody would agree this is a heart warming, mature romance that has brought two accomplished people together. It may sound unconventional to some ultra conservatives, but our society is changing – and changing very rapidly, at that. There are going to be several similar autumn romances across the country, since there are countless lonely senior citizens in search of stability, security, companionship and happiness. Forget about what their friends may think about these choices, chances are their children (if any) are likely to approve and encourage the couple to go ahead –and just do it! That old bogey (‘samaj kya kahega?’— what will society say?) no longer has the power it once had.
Our lives are getting more and more insulated … even isolated. Older folks are increasingly being left to fend for themselves the best they can. Society no longer provides the old buffers, and familiar safety nets (extended family) have long been removed. In such a grim scenario, they have nobody to turn to but others like themselves, who are also stuck in the same boat. If you are fortunate enough to find a genuine soul mate like Suhasini obviously has, then count yourself lucky. You are in the exclusive club of being amongst God’s chosen few. It is good that our hypocritical society is allowing seniors to have more control over their emotional lives. Suhasini has always been the frontrunner for change (as her award winning documentaries clearly establish). This is her precious time to fulfill her own personal dreams. Atul Gurtu is indeed a blessed man … but wait a minute … so is she!
Here’s wishing the two of them many years of friendship and trust, above all else.
The rest will follow.