Near eight on Sunday, Ellie strolls out of bed. She’s never in a good mood when she’s slated to return to Tess’s. It doesn’t help Tess refuses to hear our daughter when she indicates she doesn’t want to move. As much as Tess would like to say I brainwashed her or spoon-fed her the answers I want, that isn’t the case. Ellie simply would prefer to stay in Maine where she has been her entire life.
Since the divorce, I’ve learned to let Ellie decide how Sundays go. Today we’re making a big breakfast with pancakes, sausage, and homemade hash with coffee for me and juice for her. After eating, Ellie throws in a load of laundry so it’ll finish before Tess arrives to pick her up. It’s great Ellie is capable of washing her own laundry. However, Ellie’s need to make sure she always does it at my home gives me pause.
“I’m going to read on the patio,” she informs me.
“Okay, maybe I’ll join you.”
Minutes later with a book, blanket, and a bottled water in hand, Ellie steps outside. I consider reviewing the bids again for the Cooper project but decide against it. I have already narrowed it down to Fister and Sons, Happy Lawns, and Sunshine Landscape and Design.
I pull out the files for Omni and join Ellie. She’s curled into the corner of the rattan couch with a blanket over her feet. I settle into the chair. We stay outside until lunch. After lunch, Ellie retreats to her room with her clean laundry. Not long after, I receive a call from Tess.
“Hi, Tommy. Can I speak with Ellie?” Curious why Tess called me when Ellie has her own phone, which was given to her earlier than I would have liked but necessary given our family dynamics.
“Hi, Tess. Of course.”
I walk down the hall and knock on her door. “Ellie, Mom is on the phone.”
She opens the door and takes my phone but stays right next to me.
“Ellie, I’m not going to be able to get back to Maine tonight. Something came up with Michael’s new job, and we need to stay here a bit longer than anticipated. I wanted to let you know before I spoke with your dad.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’m fine here.”
“I appreciate your understanding. I love you. Can I talk to your dad?”
Ellie hangs her head and hands me back my phone.
I push the mute button. “I’ll be back to talk when I’m finished.”
Ellie nods as I walk away. Once I reach the living room, I unmute the phone. “Tess?”
“Thank you. I need Ellie to stay with you for a bit longer. A bigwig for Michael’s new job is flying in for a meeting tomorrow morning. He needs to stay.”
“It’s no problem at all. Do you plan to be back tomorrow evening?” I keep my voice as neutral and calm as possible.
“I’m not sure yet.” We may not be married anymore, but something is off about Tess.
“That’s fine. Please let me know when you will be back,” I add calmly. Nothing about me is calm right now.
“I will. Thank you, Tommy.”
“Bye, Tess.” I end the call. My emotions oscillate from elation to confusion and everything in between. Considering Tess is the petitioner for the relocation motion, I’m sure she isn’t having second thoughts. Yet it doesn’t make sense for her to shirk her parenting time, especially when we’re set to meet the mediator soon. Pushing my feelings aside, I make my way back to Ellie. She’s sitting on the bench at the foot of her bed.
“Hey, kiddo. Want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head yet shares anyway. “Nothing to talk about. Mom has her new life with Michael, and she wants me to move there with her. It’s hard enough to spend time with both of you as it is now. I don’t want to move and make it even harder. Unlike some of my friends with divorced parents, you guys seem to be civil when I’m around. You even come to my games when it’s Mom’s day. Even though there’s a set schedule, you can watch because you’re local. What if you’re not anymore?” A few tears fall down her cheeks. “If she chooses to leave, that’s on her. I shouldn’t be forced to go with her.”
I sit beside her, and she leans into my shoulder. I don’t for one second believe Tess intended to come home on time, but I won’t share my suspicion with Ellie. I don’t like the fact Tess’s motion has me withholding information from my daughter again. “Ellie, as much as I would like to, I can’t doubt your mom. This has only happened one other time, and her reasons then were legitimate. Perhaps she could have made more of an effort, but she’s choosing to meet Michael’s new boss.”
Ellie indicates agreement against my shoulder.
“Do you want me to find someone for you to talk to other than me?”
She lifts her head and looks at me. “You mean like a therapist?”
“There’s nothing wrong with needing a therapist to sort through your feelings. When talking to Uncle Remi didn’t help enough, I had one for about a year after the divorce.” Remi isn’t really her uncle, but we have been friends since middle school, so it’s respectful. Remington Garner was assigned the seat next to me in homeroom in fifth grade, and the rest is history. He’s been dating the girl who sat diagonally from us, Evangeline Smith, ever since then—at least as much as you can start dating someone in middle school.
“I’ll think about it,” she mumbles.
“I’m willing to listen if you want to talk more about anything.”
“Thanks, Dad. I’m going to watch a movie. Want to join me?”
“Sure.” I’ll never say no to an extra movie night with my daughter.
After watching a movie with fresh, buttery, homemade popcorn, Ellie turns in for the night. As much as I shouldn’t, I want to talk to Frankie.
Me: Are you free to talk?
Frankie: Sure, I’ll call you in a few minutes.
I peek in at Ellie, and she’s sound asleep. My parents are still married and have been for the last thirty-six years. I’m trudging through divorced parenting as best I can since I don’t have a perfect frame of reference for Ellie.
Within days of Tess filing for divorce, I replaced everything in the master bedroom except for my clothes. The walls are now a light gray. I exchanged a massive Victorian-style bedroom set with a more masculine mission set I built myself with navy and black linens. The floor isn’t covered with a fluffy area rug anymore and has been resurfaced. I replaced the wingback chairs by the fireplace with a small love seat in a dark gray. Ellie added a chunky knit blanket and some patterned pillows to add texture. I sit on the love seat as my phone rings.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” A myriad of emotions runs through me. We probably shouldn’t be talking until after the committee decides, but I’m drawn to her. I don’t say anything else for a solid minute.
“Are you there?”
I nod as if she can see me. “I’m here.”
“This was a bad idea, wasn’t it?” she murmurs.
“Yes and no. Yes, because of the bid and Liam, but no because I wanted to talk with you too.”
“I can’t explain it. I want to talk to you and get to know you despite those things.”
“I do too.” More than I should. “Shall we start with the basics?”
She laughs. It’s higher pitched than I would have thought but lovely. “Sure. Like what’s my favorite color?”
“You don’t have to tell me. I already know it.”
“You do?” Her voice rises in anticipation.
“It’s yellow.” My reply is confident. I imagine she’s shaking her head because I’m that sure.
“How?”
I smile, proud of myself. “You’re a trained landscaper, you create lush gardens for a living, the name of your company starts with sunshine.”
“Impressive. I couldn’t even hazard a guess unless it’s navy based on the same logic you used from the color of your suits.”
Now I laugh. “It is actually, but that isn’t the reason. When we were young, we needed to choose a color because our monograms are identical.”
“Practical. Where would you travel if money and time were no object?”
“Digging deep, Frankie. I would travel around Europe by train and then relax in Fiji for a few weeks to recover from my travels. What wrong assumption do people make about you?”
“Nice. I’ve never been outside of the United States. That’s easy. Once people learn I own a landscaping company, they assume I don’t like dressing up.”
Note to self, our date should be fancy enough for Frankie to wear a dress and heels. “It isn’t really surprising. Is it why you stick with Frankie for work?”
She sighs. “Frankie has been my nickname since childhood, as you already know. It was helpful when I first started my company, but my potential clients forget about my gender once I show them my plans for their yard.”
“Do you dislike being called Francesca?”
“No, not at all. Who, besides your parents, taught you the most about life?”
“Ellie, without question. When you’re solely responsible for the well-being of a tiny human, everything is magnified. I learned to enjoy the little things more, especially after my divorce. I’m not a perfect parent, but I’m present when I’m with my daughter and I cherish the time I get with her.”
“If you’re willing to share, why are you divorced?”
I inhale and collect my thoughts a moment. “The easy answer is money, but it isn’t the whole story. I had a lucrative job in Boston, but I was miserable. Tess stayed at home with Ellie and had no issue spending my salary. When I shared with Tess I wasn’t happy with my job, she encouraged a job search. She didn’t realize a job where I would be happy wouldn’t allow her to maintain the lifestyle to which she grew accustomed. When I found my current position, Tess was supportive and even offered to curtail her spending and look for a job in marketing. Instead, she grew frustrated with a job search of her own and within six months filed for divorce. It took me some time and therapy to realize Tess and I weren’t a team. Our goals didn’t align as far as our marriage was concerned. Tess wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and corporate executive’s wife, throwing lavish dinner parties while dressed in the latest fashion trend. I had no issue with Tess not working, but the executive lifestyle, at least in Boston, wasn’t for me. I want what my parents have.”
“Which is?”
“A partnership based on mutual respect and love with a lot of fun mixed in.”
“You want to get married again?”
“To the right woman, yes. What about you?” I take the moments of silence before she answers as a positive.
“I agree with you. My parents met in seventh grade and have been inseparable ever since. It sounds as if they have the same type of marriage as your parents. After thirty-seven years of marriage, they go on dates and enjoy each other’s company. I want to get married and have a family as well. Do you?”
“Want more children? Yes, I wanted a large family like mine. Is it still possible? Sure, except Ellie will be significantly older than her siblings.”
“I didn’t mean for this to turn heavy. This certainly isn’t pre-date conversation.”
“Maybe it should be.”
“Maybe you’re right. We seem to be adept at breaking the boundaries we’ve set.”
I laugh softly. “Yes, we are. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“I appreciate your attempt to adhere to our rules, but don’t set us up for failure. Feel free to call or text whenever you want.”
I smile at the thought. Even though this may cause strife for us with the Cooper project, she isn’t willing to walk away. “I will. Good night, Sunshine.”
“Good night.”
I plug in my phone and burrow deeper into my bed with visions of a gorgeous landscaper in my head.